Isle Esme
by Totteacher
Summary: Edwards point of view of the honeymoon and Bella's pregnancy. Contains lemons
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own twilight or any of it's characters.

This is the honeymoon from Edward's point of view. I hope it turns out okay. Please read my other story Uncertain beginnings as well. It is the story Of Nahuel and Hulien.

*** warning this story has extreme sexual content! Please do not read if it might offend you!***

This is my second fan fiction. Enjoy it!

I could tell that Bella was getting frustrated at not knowing where we were headed, but I was not about to spoil the surprise. After all this was our honeymoon, and I wanted her to remember every moment of it, especially since these might be her last special memories from her human life. As we had traveled she had asked about our destination periodically. "Houston?" she had asked when we reached the gate in Seattle. "Just a stop along the way," I had smiled at her to let her know that it would be worth the wait. Poor Bella she was so tired, I was not sure how much longer she could keep herself from falling asleep.

Our wedding had been a glorious day, but it had been a long day, and thanks to that mongrel Jacob, it had been an emotionally draining one for her. I had hoped to make her happy by letting her know that he had shown up, I knew how it hurt her that her best friend would not be a part of her special day. When I had read his mind, I had sensed sadness, but I had also sensed acceptance. Had I had any inkling that he was going to behave the way that he did, I never would have let him anywhere near my Bella.

My Bella, how good it felt to say that, and to know that she was indeed my Bella, mine forever. My wife, my soul mate, the reason I had lived through a dreary existence for nearly a century, so she could complete me. She was mine. I loved saying that to myself, Isabella Marie Cullen, my wife. Bella was loosing the battle for wakefulness, so I gently towed her through the terminals. When we stopped at the international flight desk to check in for our next flight she came to long enough to question me again. "Rio de Janeiro?' "Another stop," I said with a smile.

I helped settle her in the comfy first class seats, I wrapped my arm protectively around her, and she stopped fighting sleep, and gave in to her dreams. I wondered if they were about me. I loved watching her sleep, the way her breath moved in and out making her chest rise. Her face was the picture of calm serenity. More the thousandth time I wished that I could read her mind, to know where her dreams were taking her. I was content to sit here for eternity. I loved her more then living, I had no idea what I had done to deserve such a precious angel, but I must have done something right to deserve her.

I had been lost in my thoughts my face against Bella's hair, inhaling the aromatic scent of freesias and strawberries that flooded from her. Bella stirred in my arms, and her movement drew my attention to the fact that we were starting our descent toward the airport. The setting sun cast a marvelous display of lights through the planes windows. We exited the plane and made our way through the busy airport. I flagged down a taxi and loaded our luggage then held the door for Bella, she looked confused, but said nothing as I told the driver instructions in Portuguese. I glanced at her and she seemed lost in thought, and I was lost in her presence.

When the taxi stopped at the docks I unloaded our luggage and led the way down past a long line of white yachts the were moored in the water, the rhythmic sounds of the waves slapping against the dock seemed to keep time with the thumping of Bella's heart. We stopped in front of the boat, I watched Bella to gauge her thoughts about the next part of our trip. She eyed the boat in silence. It was a bit smaller then the other boats, but no less luxurious. It was a sleek craft built for speed, I hoped that it would get us to our destination all the more swiftly, as I knew that once Bella saw where we were going that her reaction would be worth all of the torment I was currently putting her through.

I jumped in, depositing our bags on deck, then turning to help my love into the boat, wanting to be sure that she arrived unhurt. I prepared the boat quickly, running through the necessary steps to prepare for departure, noticing that Bella was silent as she watched me with those large chocolate brown eyes that stared into my soul, making me move even faster. We headed out into the open ocean, due east according to the compass on the boats display. We continued forward leaving the hustle and bustle of the city behind us. Bella continued her silent study of our surroundings, the breeze whipping her hair about her face in a way that made my breath catch in my throat. I was lost in my thoughts then. I knew what lay ahead. I had tried to plan this so carefully, to make things easier. I had considered ever factor that I could think of. My cold skin, her human needs, and yet still I was worried. I shook my head refusing to think about that until there was no way around it anymore. Instead I focused on the speed of the boat, and how much I loved feeling the boat skim over the waves.

"Are we going much farther?" Bella asked suddenly "About another half hour" I responded, I noticed that her hands were clutching at the seat on which she sat, and I smiled at her, purposely trying to use the smile that she said dazzled her. It was not much later that I caught my first glance of where we were headed, I waited until I knew that Bella's human eyes could see it in the distance, and when I was sure that she wouldn't miss it I pointed ahead into the darkness. "Bella, look there." I said. She leaned forward looking into the night, I worried that she might fall overboard if she leaned to far, but she did not. I could tell from the look of concentration on her face that she was scanning the horizon to see what I was gesturing at. She squinted as if trying to make out something from the darkness, but then her eyes widen and focused, and I knew that she saw it. I shifted course then to bring us more in line with where we would be docking, "Where are we?" she said softly. I smiled at her then , my grin spreading from ear to ear. "This is Isle Esme."

As we pulled in to the short dock, I watched her face fill with wonder as she took in the picturesque landscape in front of her. "Isle Esme?" she repeated quietly. " A gift from Carlisle-Esme offered to let us borrow it." I placed the suitcases on the dock, then turned back for the most important thing of all , Bella. I reached for her, unable to hold in the smile that spread across my face, and I pulled her into my arms. "Aren't you supposed to wait for the threshold?" she asked. My grin widen further, if that was even possible, as I responded "I'm nothing if not thorough." I grabbed our steamer trunks by their handles with one hand, and carried Bella in the other. Having her curled up close to me, thinking of the possibilities that lay ahead tonight made it difficult to think straight, parts of my body tingled, making it very hard to focus.

I headed through the darkness, feeling her heartbeat against my skin, imagining the way it would speed up as I kissed her. I stared at her face wanting to kiss her lips imagining them swelling with desire as she panted, weak and breathless from my kisses.. I set the trunks down to open the doors, I looked at her refusing to move until she met my eyes with hers, as if granting me permission to continue to the next step in our life together.

I carried her over the threshold, my chest expanding proudly knowing that she was mine, my wife, how I loved that word. I walked through the house with her, neither of us spoke a word aloud. I was wishing that just once I would be granted a glimpse into what she was thinking, but her mind was closed to me as always. I stayed silent as Bella took in each room, watching her eyes sweep over the furniture, and the walls, admiring what Esme had done to this place. I stopped at the last room, my mind racing knowing what this room contained, and imagining what might take place there, then I turned on the light.

I set her on her feet, noticing that her eyes were focused on the large bed that was the focal point of the room, I was so nervous that I stammered "I'll…. go get the luggage." and I left to give her a moment to be with her thoughts. When I returned Bella was standing beside the bed stroking the filmy white netting that surrounded the bed. I could not resist approaching her, my nervousness temporarily subdued. I stroked my fingers across the nape of her neck as I noticed a drop of perspiration forming there. "It's a little hot here," I said apologetically, wanting her to understand what was on my mind. "I thought…that would be best."

I heard her whisper a response though I was not sure she meant me to hear. "Thorough, " and I had to laugh, she seemed as nervous as I was. "I tried to think of everything that would make this… easier," I told her, wanting her to know the truth. Bella was silent, so I continued slowly "I was wondering if…first…maybe you would like to take a midnight swim with me?" I had to take a deep breath, my nerves were getting out of control, I was crazy for agreeing to try this……. I tried to steady myself. "The water will be very warm. This is the kind of beach you approve of." I hoped that she would approve of anyhow. She responded 'sounds nice." Her voice breaking making me worry about how she was feeling. I thought that maybe if I sounded more assure of myself then she would feel calmer too.

"I am sure you'd like a human minute or two….It was a long journey." Bella nodded in response to my suggestion. I leaned in to kiss her, but instead I brushed my lips against her throat, knowing that the coolness of my lips would get her attention quickly. "Don't take too long, Mrs. Cullen." then I ran my lips down her neck to the smooth tip of her shoulder. "I'll wait for you in the water." I told her then I moved away towards the French doors that led out to the beach. I undid the buttons to my shirt as I walked, and let my shirt slid to the floor.

As I made my way to the beach I was overwhelmed with the different thoughts that were racing through my mind. Was this it? I was so worried, I wanted Bella so much that my whole body shook, it had been so hard to keep control when she kissed my deeply, when she wound her fingers into my hair and she held herself against me. I groaned, torn between misery and the desire to give in, and to take what I truly wanted. I stopped at a tree near the edge of the beach, and I removed the rest of my clothes, noticing the way the moonlight moved over my skin. I looked away over the water then, trying to drown out the fear I felt of failing Bella when I knew that she wanted me as much as I wanted her. I ran into the water and dove beneath the waves. I swam round and round underwater being caressed by the currents, imagining that it was Bella touching me, my body hardened in response to that thought. This was a pleasure that I had never had in my human life or in my existence as a vampire, and I could not imagine just how wonderful this would be, even tainted wit the fear of hurting the thing that I treasured the most.

I returned to the surface, and gazed at the stars lost deep in thoughts about what could happen if I wasn't careful with Bella when I heard her feet softly moving over the sand. I heard her movements near my clothes, and the sound of fabric moving, I was afraid to turn around, to be swept away with desire. She entered the water and made her way to my side, stopping once she reached me, then she laid her hand over mine against the water, I could feel the flesh of her body against me, and I was shocked to realize that she was a naked as I, I could feel the round firmness of her breasts against my arm, and I was nearly crippled with the urge to pull her to my chest and to feel the heat of her body against mine, to feel her moan in ecstasy as I knew I would once I entered her soft body for the first time. I shivered in both fear and delight at the thought. "Beautiful" she said I looked at her and saw her admiring the moon that reflected down upon us. As I took in the way the moonlight made her dark hair frame her face, as it rolled over her shoulders against her back, and into the water I could not help thinking that any type of beauty in the world, when it came to her, would pale in comparison.

"It's all right, but I wouldn't use the word beautiful, not with you standing here in comparison." I told her. She smiled at me, and gently placed her hand on my chest, where my heart had been, her touch made me shudder, her fingers felt so calm, and sure. My breath started to seize in my throat from the surmounting desire that I felt within. "I promised we would try," I almost choked on the words, fearing that she would decide that we should wait, "If…if I do something wrong, if I hurt you, you must tell me at once!" She nodded, never moving her eyes away from mine, then she moved even closer, and leaned her head against my chest. "Don't be afraid," she whispered, ":We belong together." I was struck to the core of my being at how truthful her words were, we were made for each other, nothing could keep us apart. I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her to my chest and I pulled her deeper into the water.

Bella felt so right in my arms, so soft, and yet so warm and supple. Her legs wrapped them selves around my hips, pulling my closer to her, I felt my own hips move in response to her ministrations, my need making me hard, and throbbing against her. Bella moaned against me pulling herself to my chest with all of her might, molding her breasts against my hard chest, the coolness causing her nipples to harden, and swell. I pulled her up then, wanted to see for myself how she was effected by me, the sight of her arousal made me pull her to me hard, my manhood pushing against the soft folds of her center. I took her nipple in my mouth and teased it causing her to gasp in pleasure.

I pulled her against me, wanting more, and yet wanting her to be comfortable. I held her to me, kissing her breathless as I carried her to the house, the French doors to the bedroom were still ajar, and I made my way through them quickly, depositing her on the bed. I laid her back her eyes were unfocused, and her hair spilling wildly about. Her body lay before in all it's glory, and I rained kisses over her from her head to her toes as I admired all f the beauty that was my Bella. She moved against my lips as they trailed down her body, panting and whispering my name. My need for her was almost maddening. I pulled her towards me, and she spread her hips willingly. A new surge of emotions raced through me as I scented a new smell coming from her, the smell of arousal. I pushed myself against her, plunging the whole length of my hardness into her, she cried out. The sound only drove me on further. I plunged into her over and over, feeling her tightness against me. She threw her head back and moaned for me to hold her tighter. I leaned down to her, pulling her into my body, she withered against me saying my name over and over.

I pushed so deep that I heard her whimper, and as I withdrew the smell of her fresh blood hit me. I knew that she was a virgin like me, and I understood what that entailed, but I had not been prepared for the smell of her blood. It engulfed me the same way that her warmth had engulfed my throbbing penis. The monster almost had control, it was torn my two intense desires, the need for her, and the need for her blood. I leaned in to her throat tracing my tongue down her neck to the place where her blood ran thick and hot. I was fighting for control when Bella screamed with please and buckled her hips against me. I held her body to me, my hands wrapped around her arms, pulling her tight as she screamed yes over and over followed by my name. I turned and forced the monster away, instead letting the other desire run free, thrusting faster and faster as I felt the tightness from her own orgasm, help drive me close to my own. As Ripples of pleasure over took my whole body, I pulled her on top of me, and she moved against me with all of the power she could. I bit hard into a pillow that was by my face when she leaned her heaving bosom over me, sweat pouring down between her breasts, streaming to her navel. She continued to rock against me as I moaned, holding her hips to me, squeezing her thighs. I turned my head not wanting to look at her throat as she threw her head back moaning in pleasure, and bit another pillow, she continued moving and the pressure building within me exploded forth inside her hot moist body, making m tingle from head to toe in pleasure.

We stayed there for a few moments, I could feel the pulse of her racing heart against my body from between her open legs. I looked up at her, and saw her looking at me, her eyes full of emotion. We looked at one another, and I reached up to pull her gently down beside me. "I love you Edward." She said against my chest. "As I love you ." I told her as I kissed the top of her hair. I felt her breathing slow against me and I realized that she had fallen asleep, and I knew now that Carlisle was right. It must be possible for vampire to have a soul. For surely at this moment, with all of the love that filled my long dead heart, I knew that I was in heaven.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own twilight or any of it's characters.

This is the honeymoon from Edward's point of view. I hope it turns out okay. Please read my other story Uncertain beginnings as well. It is the story Of Nahuel and Hulien.

**warning this story has extreme sexual content! Please do not read if it might offend you!***

**I Also want review on this chapter, over 90 people read this story now, or added it as a favorite, and I already have most of the third chapter done, but until I actually get a review, I am going to hold it hostage! Lol! I know you can do it!**

This is my second fan fiction. Enjoy it!

As Bella lay there sleeping, I watched her, I could feel each breath that she exhaled against me, making my skin tingle. I stroked the tip of my finger over her cheekbone, as if she were made of glass. As we lay there together I couldn't help but think that there was no luckier man in the whole universe. I had every possible thing that one could desire from life. I had a family who loved me, I had limitless wealth, and now I had the most beautiful angel on earth as my wife.

There was a coating of soft white down all over everything, from the pillows that I had bitten, though somehow the coating of white only added to her beauty. I hoped that I wouldn't have to answer to many questions as to what happened with the pillows, though the destruction was impossible to miss. They surrounding of white feathers only made her look more like an angel, she took my breath away, even if I really didn't need to breath.

I lay there watching Bella sleep, she had a small smile on her soft lips. I felt an immediate throbbing in my loins as I imagined kissing those lips, imagining how she would react, how she would throw herself against me, wrapping her arms around my neck, and anchoring her fingers into my hair. This was the first time we had slept together unclothed, and it was wreaking havoc with my senses, I was hyper aware of every last inch of her skin that was pressed against me. I had chosen this Island because it was so warm here, I felt that even though Bella had never seemed to mind touching my cold skin, that the constant heat would make it even more pleasant for us to be together, it appears that I had chosen wisely.

Bella lay pressed against my side in sleep, and she moved even closer in her sleep, and it seemed that my body being so close to hers was affecting her as well because as her breasts grazed the cold skin of my side, her nipples stiffened, and she moaned my name softly in her sleep. The throbbing that had started to subside, now roared back to life with a vengeance causing my penis to swell against the sheets. She had no idea how she affected me. My devious side took over then, and I let my fingers gently caress her skin, running my fingertips over the curve of her hips, and to trail towards the soft mound between her legs.

Even in her sleep she surprised me, she bit her lower lip, and spread open her legs ever so slightly, just enough to allow my cool fingers to explore the center of her being. I turned over then so I could feel her hard nipples against my chest, the sensation caused my breath to catch in my throat. I continued to let my fingers explore her, she was so warm, and so…wet, I looked down in surprise to notice that even in her sleep she was responding to my every touch. The smell of her arousal reached my nose and sent my senses reeling with desire. Oh my Bella and angel and a goddess in bed, who would have known, though we had always been so perfectly matched that I shouldn't have been surprised.

Even in her sleep her hips gyrated against my hand, she said my name more intensely now, and I knew that she must have been having a wonderful dream about the two of us. I could not resist, I allowed my fingers to open the soft folds of her most precious flower, and I slid a finger inside her depths, and she responded with more adore then I thought possible while one slept, opening her hips fully to grant me access. Bella pushed her feet against the bed, pushing her hips off of the bed, and straining against my hand. I allowed my fingers to move in and out of her, slowly at first, but then more quickly as she groaned and moved herself against my touch. My body pulsed with each movement she made, straining against her hip, and the heat of her skin made my penis tingle.

I glanced down and saw her toes curling up against the soft white sheets, and when I realized that she was nearing the point of orgasm, I slowed the thrusts of my fingers to a slow and steady rhythm. Her toes uncurled, and she continued to moan my name reaching out with her hands as if to pull me nearer to her. I moved ever so gently away from her, keeping up the steady movement of my hand. I moved until I was between her hips, and I knelt there watching her in fascination while my body throbbed wildly with each sound that passed her lips. I moved my other hand to her center so it could aid the first in its explorations and I closed my eyes as my finger encountered that rock hard nub that was her clit, swollen with passion.

I groaned then, and took it gently in the fingers of my other hand, rolling it gently while still moving my finger in and out of her moist vagina. I heard her gasp, and when I glanced down I saw her breathing in rapid gasps, realizing that she again was nearing the point of climax, I hastened the speed of my thrusting, and continued rubbing her clit in soft circular motions between the fingers of my other hand. She tilted her head back then sweeping her arms over the bed, causing the feathers to fly around us, shouted my name louder and louder as she moved her hips against the ministrations of my nimble fingers. I felt her innermost muscles contracting against my fingers then, and felt a rush of wetness between her legs. That was it, I came undone, as she came before me, against my cool hands my seed exploded all over the sheets, making me moan in unexpected pleasure.

Bella slumped back still sleeping, but looking as satisfied as I felt. The smile from before still on her face soft, her cheeks reddening even as she slept. "Oh Edward," she whispered, I looked up thinking that she had woken only to find that she was just talking in her sleep as she often did. "I love you so much…" She finished quietly. I laid back beside her, gently wrapping my arms around her, holding her close.

I was so lucky. Never had I imagined the fact that I would experience the bliss of this kind of love. I had seen more then enough of it through the eyes of others, especially living with Emmet and Rosalie, they thought of sex constantly. However the tenderness, the sense of completeness and fulfilled gratification was something I had completely been unprepared for. I was so blessed to have Bella, and I would spend the rest of my existence letting her know that I was grateful that she had chosen to grant me the gift of her love. I closed my eyes, just enjoying such a moment of contentment, and I started to hum the lullaby that I had composed for Bella. And I looked forward to the moment when she would wake, honoring me with a glance from her warm chocolate colored eyes, showing me once again how lucky that I was.

Please do not forget to review!


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own twilight or any of its characters.

This is the honeymoon from Edward's point of view. I hope it turns out okay. Please read my other story Uncertain beginnings as well. It is the story Of Nahuel and Hulien.

_**This chapter is dedicated to Olwyn. Out of 100+ viewers , and lots of added favorites, this reader was the only review!! So I will release the hostage!! Here is chapter three. I would like at least three this time to get chapter four.**_

**Warning this story has extreme sexual content! Please do not read if it might offend you!***

**Review please!**

**I would really appreciate some reviews people, I want to know what you like, and what you don't. With 111 readers, you would think someone would leave one review.**

This is my second fan fiction. Enjoy it!

As the night crept on I couldn't help staring at Bella constantly. I loved watching her sleep; she looked so content and blissful while she was like this. I had to keep reminding myself that she was mine, it was a hard concept to wrap my head around. I thought about what she might like to do on the Island tomorrow, there was so much to see, I could almost imagine the excitement in her eyes as she saw everything. I looked at her face and I frowned, I noticed something on one of her cheekbones, I leaned closer to get a better look in the darkness. And I realized that it appeared to be a bruise. How did that happen? I wondered to myself, did she bang into something? I ran my eyes over the rest of her body and I gasped.

As I had been lying there totally immersed in my own blissful state, for who knows how long, Bella's skin had erupted into an explosion of bruises. They were everywhere, on her arms, her waist, her legs, her back, absolutely everywhere, and I had no doubt as to the cause of them. I held up my hands to look at them, and at a glance I knew that the bruises matched my palms perfectly. Each finger had left its own mark, and I hadn't even noticed! What kind of sadistic monster didn't realize they were hurting the person they loved?

Why hadn't she told me to stop? I would have stopped in a moment if she had asked…instead I had been lost in my own selfish pleasure. I turned away from her, feeling pressure in my chest. My eyes burned, and I knew that if I could cry that I would have. My poor Bella, what kind of creature was I to hurt her so? I didn't deserve her, she was so special, so gentle, and I was nothing more than a sadistic monster who thought only about my own selfish pleasure. I decided right then and there that if she could find it in her heart to forgive me that I would do whatever I could to make it up to her, but that I would not lay a hand on her body in a sexual way until she had been changed, so that I couldn't hurt her again.

Bella slept right through the morning, almost until noon. I was worried that I had hurt her even more then I had imagined. But when she started to stir against me I knew that she was alright, or at least as alright as she could be after a monster like me had hurt her so. I couldn't look at her, I could not bring myself to speak, I was too ashamed of myself. I hadn't moved away from Bella so as not to disturb her slumber, and through the night she had wrapped her arm around my chest. I knew that she was waking, and I did not know what to do with my nervousness, so I ran my fingers along her spine, tracing the contours there as gently as I could.

I felt her move her body against mine, and she slid her arms up around my neck, and I was ashamed at the desire for her that welled up inside me, I had no right to feel that way after what I had done to her. Suddenly she laughed aloud, the sound was like music to my ears, though I knew that she was probably pretending just to make me feel better. "What's funny?" I asked her as I continued stroking her back. Then suddenly her stomach growled, and she laughed again. "You just can't escape being human for very long." She said. I didn't respond, already knowing just how drastically different things were for her as a human, the bruises that marred her beautiful alabaster skin were proof enough of that.

I lay there looking upward, taking in nothing, only knowing how much I had hurt her. I felt Bella move as she sat up, I was afraid to look at her, to see the proof of my inner beast. "Edward," She said softly "what is it? What's wrong?" And there she was trying to see if I was okay, when I knew how much she must be hurting, why was she so sweet and thoughtful? I figured that she must be pretending to make me feel better, but I decided to let her know that I was aware of the charade she was trying to put on.

"You have to ask?" I could not keep the distaste out of my voice, I was just so full of self loathing. I looked at her then as she fell quiet, she had a look of intense worry on her face, and her forehead was wrinkled in concern, so I reached up to sooth away the lines on her skin, being careful to only use the lightest of touches. I was afraid of what she was thinking, was she afraid of what I would do to her next? I had to know what was going on in the silent mind of hers, "What are you thinking?" I said in a hushed voice.

"You're upset. I don't understand. Did I…?" She stopped without finishing her thought. I decided to let her know that the façade was not necessary. "How badly are you hurt, Bella? The truth- don't try to downplay it." I prepared myself for the truth, and I was overcome with worry. She was silent for a moment before responding "Hurt?" She said. Her voice was so high that I knew that it had to be bad. I looked at her pressing my lips together in my concern for what she would say next.

She sat there quietly, and I wished again that I could hear what she was thinking. I figured that she was probably trying to find away to let tell me without making me feel to badly. Bella always thought of others before she thought about herself, and I was aggravated. "Why would you jump to that conclusion? I have never been better then I am now." She said. I closed my eyes in frustration. "Stop that." I said. "Stop what?" she said loudly, as if she was feeling the same frustration as I was. "Stop acting like I am not a monster for having agreed to this." I said to clarify, even if I felt she already knew why. "Edward!" she whispered fiercely, "Don't ever say that."

Why did she have to be so forgiving? I couldn't look at her, because I was afraid of what I would see.. I had to be sure that she had seen the damage, even though I was sure that she felt it already. "Look at yourself , Bella. Then tell me that I'm not a monster." She said nothing then she gasped. I felt pain wash over me as I imagined the hurt and shock that must be apparent on her face. I waited for her to speak, for tears, for something. Except for what came out of her mouth. "Why am I covered in feathers?" She sounded very confused. Leave it to her to be covered in bruises, and what must be an immeasurable amount of pain, and for her to notice the feathers.

I exhaled trying to release some of my pent up frustration. "I bit a pillow. Or two. That's not what I am talking about." I told her. This was getting ridiculous. "You bit a pillow? Why?" she asked me I looked at her then, and my breath caught seeing how beautiful she looked surrounded by a cloud of downy feathers. Her long dark tresses contrasted with the soft whiteness that floated around her, making me want to pull her to me and to kiss her senseless, but my desire only angered me further. This was not the time for thoughts like this, I had to show her what I had done.

"Look, Bella!" I reached out and took her arm as carefully as I could manage. "Look at that!" I saw her look down at her body, and watched as they scanned all visible surfaces to see the damage. She reached up with her other arm and poked at one of the vivid bruises that had blossomed on the upper side of her left forearm. As she continued to look at it I placed my hand as gently as I possibly could over it to show her that my hands had caused the damage that she was surveying. If shame could bring a person to spontaneously combust I would be nothing more then a pile of ashes. Her only response was a quiet "Oh."

I waited for her to tell me how she felt, to tell me that I had made our first try at making love a complete failure. All I could say was "I'm …so sorry Bella." I couldn't take my eyes off of the bruises the marred her skin. I tried to let her know how much I grieved for what I had done to her. My throat felt constricted making it hard to get the words out. "I knew better then this. I should not have--". I almost gagged on the words feeling like they were nothing more then a poor excuse. "I am more sorry than I can ever tell you." Was all I could manage to say to her. I threw my arm over my face wanting to protect her from having to look at my face, she must be so upset, she trusted me and in my moments of passion I had pushed her too far.

I felt her touch my arm, my adrenaline surging at her touch. I refused to move, battling back passion that I had no right to feel. Just thinking of that passion made my skin tingle with electricity at her touch. I felt the pressure building between my legs and I lost myself for a moment imagining Bella, who was currently sitting above me, move her body above me. I could imagine her straddling my waist, her soft thighs against my hips. I could imagine her guiding my throbbing penis into her vagina. Her perfect body moving against me, her rocking her hips to create even more friction against her heated clitoris.

I snapped back to reality when I realized that Bella was calling my name. "Edward?" she questioned. How long had I been lost in my fantasy? Now that she had released this part of me I was having trouble keeping control. I had no rights to think of that now, I would have to wait until she was changed before we could share such passion together, I refused to take the risk with her again. I continued to lay there as she spoke to me, making sure to hear every word that left her sweet lips. "I'm not sorry, Edward." She said "I'm… I can't even tell you. I'm so happy. That doesn't even cover it. Don't be angry. Don't I'm really f-" I interrupted then, not wanting to hear her lie to make me feel better about the situation. "Do not say the word fine. If you value my sanity, do not say that you are fine."

"But I am," she whispered back at me. "Bella. Don't." This was torture, her trying to show her love and forgiveness when I really did not deserve it. I was not prepared for what she said next. "No. You don't Edward." She said it with such conviction that I had to move my arm and look at her. What did she mean by that? "Don't ruin this. I. Am. Happy." She said forcefully, emphasizing each syllable. Was she joking? "I've already ruined this." I said in a whispered response. "Cut it out!" She almost shouted at me. I clenched my teeth as a response, she did not understand that I could see what a monster I was just by glancing at her skin, words couldn't change that the evidence spoke volumes, even if she wanted to argue about it.

"Ugh!" she groaned suddenly. "why can't you just read my mind already? It's so inconvenient to be a mental mute!" Now she had my undivided attention. Bella loved that I couldn't read her mind, she told me once that I would get dizzy since her train of thoughts ran all over the place. She had even joked that I would be the first vampire to get motion sickness by trying to keep up, yet here she was wishing that I could read her thoughts. "That is a new one. You love that I can't read your mind." I wondered why she would want me to be able to now of all times. "Not today." She responded. I stared at her in confusion. "Why?" I had to know the answer.

She threw her hands up, frustration written all over her face, her hands smacking into my chest with an audible thwack. She breathed in deeply before continuing. "Because all of this angst would be completely unnecessary if you could see how I feel right now! Or five minutes ago, anyway. I was perfectly happy. Totally and completely blessed out. Now-well now I'm sort of pissed, actually." She should be angry, she had every right. "You should be angry at me." I agreed with her. "Well I am. Does that make you feel better?" She said. I sighed at her question, looking for the right words.

"No. I don't think anything could make me feel better now." I told her truthfully, I didn't deserve to feel better, I deserved to feel every last bit of pain that I put her through last night. I thought I heard her growl for a moment, but assumed that I had misheard until she roared at me, "That! That right there is why I am angry. You are killing my buzz, Edward!" I didn't know what to say to that. Her buzz, did she mean what I hoped she'd meant. She continued more calmly now, "We both knew this was going to be tricky. I though that was assumed. And then-well, it was a lot easier than I thought it would be. And this is really nothing." she ran her fingers over the length of her arm. "I think that for a first time, not knowing what to expect, we did amazing. With a little practice-"

As much as I was thrilled to think about the opportunity to make passionate love to Bella again, I was appalled at her line of thought. The anger must have been plain on my face as she broke of without finishing her sentence. "Assumed? Did you expect this, Bella? Were you anticipating that I would hurt you? Were you thinking it would be worse? Do you consider the experiment a success because you can walk away from it? No broken bones-that equals a victory?" I was furious! Did she think that our life would be like this? What if it had of been worse, more then mere bruises, how would she have felt then? I tried to calm myself by taking several deep breaths.

Bella sat quietly as I calmed myself. Then she continued speaking. "I didn't know what to expect- but I definitely did not expect how…how…just how wonderful and perfect it was." Her voice had dropped to a whisper as she spoke those words, and she let her eyes drop away from my gaze and she went on. "I mean, I don't know how it was for you, but it was like that for me." I stared at her in alarm. Did she think that I did not think that every second of last night had been anything less then perfection? Never in my whole existence had anything felt so right. I had to tell her, to let her know.

I gently placed a finger under his soft chin to draw her face level with mine once again. "Is that what you're worried about? That I didn't enjoy myself?" I was speaking through clenched teeth because I wasn't sure how to voice to her the way last night had made me feel. She still would not look me in the eye, but rushed on to explain herself to me. "I know it's not the same, you're not human. I was just trying to explain that, for a human, I can't imagine that life gets any better then that." I was speechless. Was it possible that Bella felt the same magic that I had as we made love last night?

I sat there trying to comprehend that she felt the same way that I did about our first joining, did she feel that we had fit so perfectly together that our bodies must have been made for one another. I remembered how it felt when I had been so deeply inside her, her sweat slicked body pressed against me. How each curve had molded together until our bodies were one entity. She finally looked up at me, allowing me to sink into the depths of her eyes.

"It seems I have more to apologize for." I said to her softly, frowning as I realized that she thought I hadn't felt the same sense of bliss as she did last night. "I didn't dream that you would construe the way I feel about what I did to you to mean that last night wasn't...well the best night of my existence. But I don't want to think of it that way, not when you were…" I wasn't sure how to continue, but Bella interjected just then. "Really? The best ever?" her voice was small, but there was a smile playing at the edges of the lips.

I took her face tenderly between my hands. "I spoke to Carlsle after you and I made our bargain, hoping he could help me. Of course he warned me that this would be very dangerous for you." I wanted to tell her everything, to know hoe worried I had been. "He had faith in me, though- faith that I didn't deserve." Bella tried to speak, but I placed two fingers softly against her lips to let her know that I needed to continue. "I also asked him what I should expect. I didn't know what it would be like for me…what with my being a vampire." I tried to smile as I recalled the conversation for her. "Carlisle told me it was a very powerful thing, like nothing else. He told me physical love was something I should not treat lightly. With our rarely changing temperaments, strong emotions can alter us in permanent ways. But he said that I did not need to worry about that part-you had already altered me so completely." I smiled realizing how true his words had been.

"I spoke to my brothers, too. They told me that it was a great pleasure. Second only to drinking human blood." I frowned as I recalled how the scent of her fresh blood last night when our passion had broken her hymen, and had almost made the monster in me take control, but I continued on. "But I've tasted your blood, and there could be no more potent blood than that…I don't think that they were wrong, really. Just that it was different for us. Something more." Something much more as far as I was concerned.

Bella murmured "It was more. It was everything." As much as I agreed with her, as much as I wanted her gain, even right here and now, I had to make her understand that it couldn't happen again. "that doesn't change the fact that it was wrong. Even if it were possible that you really did feel that way." I was still not sure if she was being completely honest with me. "What does that mean?" she challenged, "Do you think that I am making this up? Why?" I knew that I had to be honest with her.

"To ease my guilt, I can't ignore the evidence, Bella. Or your history of trying to let me off the hook when I make mistakes." She leaned forward suddenly and grabbed my chin in her small, delicately shaped fingers, only stopping when her face was inches from mine. "You listen to me Edward Cullen." She said with as much force as she could muster. "I am not pretending anything for your sake, okay? I didn't even know there was a reason to make you feel better until you started being all miserable. I've never been so happy in all my life-I wasn't this happy when you decided that you loved me more then you wanted to kill me, or the first morning that I woke up and you were there waiting for me…Not when I heard your voice in the ballet studio"- I flinched remembering how close I had come to loosing her, but she continued, "Or when you said 'I do' and I realized that , somehow, I get to keep you forever. Those are the happiest memories I have, and this is better that any of it. So just deal with it." As she spoke her forehead creased into wrinkles again, here I was making her upset again.

I reached up to smooth the creases on her forehead away. "I'm making you unhappy now. I don't want to do that." I said. "Then don't you be unhappy. That's the only thing that's wrong here." She said with finality. I took a deep breath and nodded, she was right. "You're right. The past is past and I can't do anything to change it. There's no sense in letting my mood sour this time for you. I'll do whatever I can to make you happy now." I meant every word I spoke, and I smiled at her.

"Whatever makes me happy?" she asked with a sly grin, but then her growling stomach interrupted protesting it's need for food loudly. "you're hungry." I said and I jumped out of bed and grabbed my clothes so I could make her some breakfast, annoyed with myself for not having thought to make her breakfast in bed. "So why did you decide to ruin Esme's pillows?" she asked. I turned noticing that My movements had caused the small downy feathers to stir again. "I don't know if I actually decided to do anything last night, we were just lucky that it was the pillows and not you." I answered darkly, thinking about the struggle that had been fought between my two raging desires. I have practically desensitized myself to the smell of Bella's blood, but it's nearness coupled with the scent of her extreme arousal had been something I had not prepared for. She had no idea how frank I was being. I shook my head and attempted to put a smile on my face for her benefit.

I continued dressing, lost in my thoughts, but I turned as I hear Bella moving around on the bed. I immediately wished that I hadn't. Bella stood there in all of her natural glory, the only thing marring the perfection was the bruises that covered the greater part of her body. I couldn't stop the gasp that escaped my lips, and I had to turn away from her. My fists clenched convulsively as the anger that I felt at myself fought for control.

"Do I look that hideous?" Bella asked, I refused to answer, or even to turn. she didn't want to see me unhappy, so I would not look at her until I could reign in my emotions. I heard Bella make her way into the bathroom, and I listened, afraid that when she actually saw the damage that she would understand just how awful I was. I heard nothing for a few moments, but a groan suddenly pierced the silence, and I flew to her side.

"Bella?" I was so worried. Did she hurt? What was wrong? What could I do to help? I wish I knew what she was thinking! "I will never get this all out of my hair." She said pointing at her tousled brunette locks. Then she started trying to get the feathers out of her hair. Figures, only my Bella would be covered in bruises, and worried about her hair. I silently came up behind her and tried to help remove all of the small bits of fluff from her long silky hair. "how did you keep from laughing at this?" she asked me in a lighthearted voice, but I remained silent, my mood precariously teetered between anger and frustration as I got a close up view of each and every fingerprint, and bruise on her body.

"this isn't going to work, " she sighed "It's all dried in, I am going to have to try and wash it out." She turned to me and wrapped her arms snugly around my waist. "do you want to help me?" She asked. It took only a second in my mind to picture her body surrounded with steam, with water running over the curves of her perfection. I imagined how the hot water would feel as it poured over our entangled bodies. I could envisions holding her up with my body, her leaning on the steam slicked walls as I plunged myself into her depths, feeling her wrap her arms around my neck as she moaned her pleasure into my ear. How amazing every second spent with her would be. I imagined her tracing her soft fingers over my broad chest, and how it would feel to have our bodies rubbing against one another under the hot soapy water.

I shuddered myself back into reality, before lust took over the situation. I was going to have to be ever vigilant to keep control now that I had tasted the peaks that our passion could bring. "I'd better find some food for you," I told her quietly as I gently unwound her arms from around my waist. I made my exit quickly wanting to move away from her before I was unable to do so. I wanted to put as much distance between myself and the sounds of her in the shower, as quickly as I could, so instead of stopping when I got to the kitchen I continued right out of the door and down the beach to the water. I leaped into the water, easily clearing 30 feet in one jump. I dove down as deep as I could, accepting the water like a much needed cold shower.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own twilight or any of its characters.

This is the honeymoon from Edward's point of view. I hope it turns out okay. Please read my other story Uncertain beginnings as well. It is the story Of Nahuel and Hulien.

**Warning this story has extreme sexual content! Please do not read if it might offend you!***

**Review please!**

**Wow almost 200 readers!**

This is my second fan fiction. Enjoy it!

Chapter 4

After I had sufficiently cooled off from my ardor, I returned to the house, swiftly changing into dry clothes. I headed into the kitchen and started to make Bella some breakfast. I had made sure to have the refrigerator well stocked before we arrived, wanting Bella's human side to lack nothing. I was not sure what I should make, but I decided that a traditional breakfast of bacon and eggs would be a good choice. I whisked the eggs, adding in spices and cheese, using my keen sense of smell to determine what ingredients would make it the most flavorful. I had spent some time watching the food network, to learn how to make succulent dishes for her during our honeymoon; I wanted her to remember every last detail of our stay here.

Just as I was finishing up, I heard her feet treading against the floor, I assumed that the smell of food was drawing her in, and I smiled knowing that she must be famished. As she entered the kitchen I heard her stomach roar in hunger. "Here." I said handing her the steaming plate of food, my smile spreading even further as I took in her simple beauty. She wore a simple white sundress, and no make up, she looked so natural, the way I preferred her, right down to her bare feet. I saw the delight on her face. She accepted the plate at sat down at the table, her hunger more intense then even I realized as she almost inhaled the eggs. "I'm not feeding you often enough." I said, both as a statement and in question as I sat down across from her at the small table.

"I was asleep." She answered. "This is really good, by the way. Impressive for someone who doesn't eat." Was that a smile playing on the edges of her lips? I smiled at her, the way she said she loves, and admitted my secret "Food Network." She seemed to smile more fully then, looking happier. "Where did the eggs come from?" She asked. Of course, she knew that we didn't eat so she would wonder where food would come from on a tropical Island. "I asked the cleaning crew to stock the kitchen. A first, for this place. I'll have to ask them to deal with the feathers……" I thought briefly about thee large white bed, dusted in soft white feathers, not sure what I would say to the cleaners when they came.

Bella finished eating, the said, "Thank you." She leaned across the table and kissed me. I felt the soft, warm pressure of her lips against mine, desire welling up inside me. I kissed her back, moving my lips against hers. They were soft and moist, and so damn warm….just like the rest of her body. I stopped, frozen as I realized where this could lead, if I was not strong enough to resist the temptation that was her , and I leaned away from her. She stared at me for a moment then said "You aren't going to touch me again while we're here, are you?" I wasn't sure what to say, but then I raised my hand to stroke the soft contours of her cheek, letting my fingers linger on the soft flushed skin that so often gave away how she felt, and I felt her lean into my touch, resting her face into the cupped palm of my hand. She looked at me accusingly then said, "You know that's not what I meant." I sighed dropping my hand from her face. "I know. And you're right." I told her honestly. I paused searching for the right words, then I decided that the truth would be the best approach. I raised my chin to look at her more directly. "I will not make love to you until you've been changed. I will never hurt you again."

I didn't want to get into an argument about this topic, so I continued on talking about all of the wonderful place to explore that were awaiting us on the Island. We opted for snorkeling first. Bella swam amongst the small brightly colored fish the dwelled on the reefs surrounding the island. Seeing her water slicked body as the sunlight glisten off of the droplets of water that lingered on her skin made my manhood swell in my trunks. I lingered back because when I went in the water the fish tended to hide, and I wanted her to see the beauty there. I sat where I was admiring her beauty that outshone even the most brightly colored fish. I felt the pressure building up within me as she moved her body against the waves. The foamy water moving past her hips, causing me to think of the heat that dwelled there in her innermost core, and the thoughts made me burn with desire.

I watched her sink into the warm water, totally unaware as to how she was affecting me. I move closer as she explored, allowing my self to sink into the depths of the water to watch her. Never had I been so thankful that I didn't need to breathe. Bella occasionally stopped to look at me, then she would point to something that drew her attention, and she would be off again. The throbbing inside my shorts was making it hard to focus. As Bella swam I could see the hard tips of her nipples straining against the thin fabric of her bathing suit. I imagined them in my teeth as I ran my tongue over her hardened nubs. I pictured rolling them between my fingertips, squeezing them gently, but firmly, feeling them stand in response to my touch. I moaned then, and was thankful that I was underwater, and that Bella would not have been able to hear me. Bella rose for air, temporarily leaving me with a spectacular view of her lower half under the water. I could see her legs moving, making the water crest around her. Suddenly she bent to dive down again, her bathing suit conforming to the firm roundness of her buttocks, and pulling tightly across the center of her most private areas. I felt my hardness reach a peak, and couldn't even stop the cool explosion that rocked through my body, causing every inch of me to quiver in pleasure as my cool seed burst forth. I swam deeper to allow my body to recover from my orgasm, an orgasm that she had brought on simply by being there. She could affect me so even with her nearness, I couldn't wait until we could wholly be together again. I wanted to join with her, to make her moan my name. I wished to drive her to the highest peaks that her heightened passions would allow, and to join her in that moment of passion as we would both cum together from the intensity of our love making.

Until then I would have to maintain the highest level of control when I was near her. I could not let myself be too close to her when I was over come like this, or she would be in danger of being harmed again. I couldn't let that happen. I would have to have the utmost control over the animal within who wanted her so badly. I would not hurt her again.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own twilight or any of its characters.

This is the honeymoon from Edward's point of view. I hope it turns out okay. Please read my other story Uncertain beginnings as well. It is the story Of Nahuel and Hulien.

**Warning this story has extreme sexual content! Please do not read if it might offend you!***

**Review please!**

**Wow almost 200 readers!**

This is my second fan fiction. Enjoy it!

Chapter 5

We did many things together over the next few days. I took Bella to explore the jungle type forest that dwelled on the Island. We took our time discovering details amongst the trees, admiring flowers and just enjoying our time together. I was getting better at containing my desire when we were near, and I was enjoying just being in her company. She always had interesting things to say, and always caught me off guard with her insightful observations. I took her into the tops of the ancient tress that grew on the southern end of the Island. They were home to hundreds of colorful parrots. The birds were not shy, having had little to no exposure to people, making them curious about us enough to investigate us. Bella seem enchanted by their closeness, they even ventured to climb on us.

We enjoyed quiet moments together as we watched sunsets over the ocean, and explored tide pools and the ocean life that hid within their depths. With each day I grew more determined that I had made the right decision to abstain from making love with her again until her change. Each day her bruises lightened and became less noticeable. I was very careful not to allow us to be put into positions that might bring us close to temptation. Each and everyday I kept us on the go swimming, diving, and investigating the plethora of local wildlife. Bella wasn't as easily dissuaded from what she wanted, as she tried to convince me that practice would make things easier, but my plan seemed to be working as each night after she ate, Bella fell asleep exhausted, sometimes not even making it to our bed.

I had been careful since the first day to be sure to make Bella lots to eat so she could keep up her strength. I was never sure how much I should make, so I made extras, figuring that too much was better then not enough. We were sleeping in the blue bedroom now, since the white room was still a mess of feathers, and Bella was trying her best to thwart my plans for her safety by wearing lingerie to bed each night. I pretended not to notice, and everything seemed to be going well. At least I thought so.

I didn't realize hoe determined my Bella could be when she put her mind to something because as we were getting ready for bed this evening she exited the bathroom wearing a black, lacy, dangerously sexy piece of lingerie. My eyes nearly bulged out of my head when I saw her. The lace clung to her body like a second, almost see through layer of skin. The fabric clung to her breasts, allowing you to see just enough to make you want to see more. The black lace let you see her pale skin through it, and it clung to all of the curves of her glorious body. She was going to drive me insane, I forced myself to be in control of my thoughts.

"What do you think?" she asked turning her body like a graceful dancer, making me wish to dance to most private of dances with her body. I cleared my throat and forced myself to answer in a light hearted tone. "You look beautiful. You always do." AI heard her quiet response of "Thanks." Even though I was not sure if she meant me to hear it. Bella climbed onto the bed and I encircled her with my arms, pulling her to my chest, loving the feeling of her closeness. I thought that she had fallen asleep when she started to speak.

"I'll make you a deal." She said, her voice quiet as if she was trying to fend off sleep. "I will not make any deals with you." I answered remembering my last deal with her, my promise to try, and how it left her in bruises, and me in shame. "You haven't even heard what I'm offering." She exclaimed. "It doesn't matter." I answered. I didn't want her to think that I would give in to her, even though I feared that I would. She sighed. "Dang it. And I really wanted….Oh well." She said with a yawn as she snuggled closer closing her eyes. I rolled my eyes in frustration fighting with myself, torn between wanting to know what she was thinking and afraid to find out. "All right. What is it that you want?" I had to find out.

"Well, I was thinking… I know that the whole Dartmouth thing was just supposed to be a cover story, but honestly, one semester of college probably wouldn't kill me," she paused and I let her words sink in as she continued. "Charlie would get a thrill out of Dartmouth stories, I bet. Sure it might be embarrassing if I can't keep u[ with all the brainiacs. Still…eighteen, nineteen. It's not like I'm going to get crows feet in the next year." I was reeling in shock… She was willing to stay human…. That was what I had always wanted for us, at least for now, and she had been so dead set against it, but now….

"You would wait? You would stay human?" Then I burst out with the anger that I was trying to withhold. "Why are you doing this to me?" My teeth were clenched from the effort of controlling my emotions. "Isn't it hard enough without all of this?" I grabbed a handful of the intricate lace that covered her thigh, and I was suddenly very tempted to rip it off to expose the soft supple skin underneath, realizing that she was trying to lure me into sex, something that I was trying not to give into, even if my body shook with desire to do just that. I took a few deep breaths, then relaxed my hand, releasing the tempting fabric. "It doesn't matter. I won't make any deals with you."

"I want to go to college." She said pouting. Damn she was good. "No you don't." I responded. "And there is nothing that is worth risking your life again. That's worth hurting you." "But I do want to go. Well, it's not college as much as it's that I want—I want to be human a little while longer." She was going to drive me over the edge. I closed my eyes and breathed a deep cleansing breath out of my nose. "You are making me insane, Bella. Haven't we had this argument a million times, you always begging to be a vampire without delay?"

She looked at me with her dark chocolate eyes, which looked slightly hooded as she looked at me. "Yes, but—well, I have a reason to be human that I didn't have before." She said. I was curious as to what could make her wish to put off something that she had fought me about for so long." What's that." I asked, wanting to hear her answer. "Guess." she said and with that she brought herself up to me and kissed me. I kissed her back, but I refused to meet up with the intensity that she was using on my lips. I had to keep control, then gently I pulled her away from my lips, and I cradled her to my chest. I had to chuckle then. "You are so human, Bella. Ruled by your hormones." I shouldn't speak, my hormones were running rampant, and I was definitely not human.

"That is the whole point, Edward. I like this part of being human. I don't want to give it up yet. I don't want to wait through years of being a blood-crazed newborn for some part of this to come back to me." I understood her fear, I too wondered how long I would have to wait for her to come back to me, how long until she would be able to feel her love for me over the painful thirst that would consume her as a newborn vampire. I was pulled out of my thought as I heard her yawn. "You're tired. Sleep, love." I started to hum the lullaby that I had composed for her when we had met. I composed it when I was not sure how to explain how I felt about her. It was as I composed this ballad for her that I realized just how she had affected me, and how much I loved her, knowing what she had awakened in me.

"I wonder why I'm so tired," she grumbles against my chest. I could feel the heat of her breath through the thin fabric of my t shirt. "That couldn't be part of your scheme or anything." I had to laugh realizing that she had figured out my plan, but then I resumed humming since I knew that it helped her sleep. "For as tired as I am you'd think I'd sleep better." She said as she started to settle in. That made me stop. "?You've been sleeping like the dead, Bella. You haven't said a word in your sleep since we got here. If it weren't for the snoring, I'd worry that you were slipping into a coma!" Did she not realize how deeply she had been sleeping?

'I haven't been tossing?" She questioned me with a glance. "That's weird. Usually I'm all over the bed when I a having nightmares. And shouting." She seemed genuinely confused by the fact that she had appeared to be sleeping soundly, but I was concerned to hear that she had been having nightmares. "you've been having nightmares?" I asked her. She nodded "Vivid ones. They make me so tired." She yawned. "I can't believe I haven't been babbling about them all night." I was worried, was she having nightmares about what I had done to her? Was she afraid of what might happen when she was changed? I cringed inwardly. "What are they about?" I asked her wanting to know more.

"Different things—but all the same, you know, because of the colors." She said "Colors?" I questioned her further, wanting more details. She continues=d to answer me. "it's all so bright and real. Usually, when I'm dreaming, I know that I am. With these , I don't know I'm asleep. It makes them scarier." I had to find out what was alarming her so, so I asked, "What is frightening you?" I felt her body shudder against me and she hesitated for a moment before she answered. "Mostly….." I prompted her to continue "Mostly?"

She was quiet for a moment, thinking, as if trying to formulate an answer. "The Volturi." She whispered. I hugged her tighter, wishing that I could ease her fears with my assurances. I reminded her "They aren't going to bother us anymore. You'll be immortal soon, and they'll have no reason." I comforted her then, murmuring in her ear, and running my hands over her back. She continued to look upset. "What can I do to help?" I asked her, wanting to do anything that would take her fear away, but she shook her head. "They're just dreams, Edward."

"Do you want me to sing to you? I'll sing all night if it will keep the bad dreams away." I would to, I would sing forever if it would help. She moved her head as if to say no, but then spoke as if trying to clarify herself. "They're not all bad. Some are nice. So…colorful. Underwater, with the fish and the coral. It all seems like it's really happening—I don't know that I'm dreaming. Maybe this Island is the problem. It's really bright here." I didn't want to leave, but I didn't want her to be unhappy so I had to ask. "do you want to go home?" ", not yet. Can't we stay awhile longer?" She asked me. I was so happy to hear her say that she wanted to stay. "We can stay as long as you want, Bella." I promised her. "When does the semester start?" She asked. "I wasn't paying attention before." I sighed and then stared humming again, that discussion would have to wait for another time.

I lay that way through the night. I mulled over The deal that Bella had offered. And I pinched the bridge of my nose with the fingers of the arm that was not wrapped around her, a habit I had always has when I was frustrated. She knew exactly what to offer, but this time I was not willing to give in. I played with things that I could offer her that might also convince her to stay human longer, that didn't include sex.

It was not long into the night when Bella jolted awake with a start. She gasped. "Bella ?"I whispered, worried that she had had another nightmare. "Are you alright, sweetheart?" "Oh!" she gasped again, her hart was racing, and her breathing hitched. To my alarm tears started to pour silently down her face, leaving there glistening trails down her flushed cheeks. "Bella!" I was almost shouting now, "What's wrong?" I was petrified, what had happened. I gently wiped the tears from her cheeks, barley erasing one before another took it's place. "It was only a dream.;' she said fiercely. I wrapped my arms around her, and gently rocked her, wanting her to know that I was here and that she need not be afraid.

"It's okay, love." I crooned into her ear. "You're fine. I'm here. Did you have another nightmare? It wasn't real, it wasn't real." I kept saying to reassure her. "Not a nightmare." She said shaking her head, she rubbed her hands across her eyes as if to clear her vision. "It was a good dream." Her voice broke as she said it. " Then why are you crying?" I asked in confusion, I didn't understand what was going on. "Because I woke up." She cried wrapping her arms around my neck, and cried into my throat. I couldn't help it, I laughed, I was not following her line of thought. "Everything is all right, Bella. Take deep breaths." My words did not seem to effect her though as she continued to cry. "It was so real! I wanted it to be real."

I didn't know what else to say "Tell me about it, "I urged her "Maybe that will help." She started to speak "We were on the beach…" Then she trailed into silence, and pulled a bit back from me, and looked at me with anguish filled eyes. Those eyes tortured me, I wanted to erase the grief from her eyes. "And?" I encouraged her to go on. "Oh, Edward…" she said quietly, her voice rough with emotions. I was scared now. "Tell me, Bella" I pleaded with her to let me share her pain. But I was unprepared for what happened next.

Bella grasped herself to my body Crashing her lips against mine, moving them desperately. I responded with ardor, moving my lips against hers, but I quickly reined myself in. She continued to strain against me, her body pulsing with effort. I grasped her by the shoulder, and held her away from me, knowing that I could not fight her off much longer, my need for her was too great. "No, Bella." I couldn't do this to her again. She let her arms fall to her sides, and tears poured forth down her cheeks as she began to sob, the sound tore my heart out. I didn't know what to do, I wanted to hold her, but If I took her in my arms now there was no telling what could happen. "I'm s-s-s-orry." She stuttered out. I pulled her to me then, hugging her tight to let her know I loved her, even if I didn't understand. I was loosing the fight as I felt her body next to mine. "I can't, Bella, I can't!" I moaned against her hair. I was coming undone, the passion that I thought I had forced into submission was now overtaking my senses, I could feel her trembling against me, I could smell her, even her tears drew me in, wanting to kiss each one away, wondering how they would taste against my tongue. "Please." She said in a painful whisper against my chest. That was the last straw. I felt all control slip away and I drew her lips to mine, as I moaned in pleasure.

Bella responded to my kiss as fiercely as she has in any of my fantasies. She climbed on top on my body, and straddled my hips, placing her pulsing centre against the hardness of my penis. Even through my pants I could feel her moist pleasure., and I growled deep in my throat as her scent or arousal hit me hard. Bella Moved her hips in circles creating friction over the top of my hard shaft. I wanted her so much that it was almost painful. She sat above me, her eyes glazed in her passion, her hands running all over my body. I ran my hands over her thighs, and up to her rounded buttocks, grasping them in my hands, she pushed against me, thrusting her pleasure into me. I ran my hands up over her flat stomach towards her breasts as I thrusted myself upwards against her. My hands continued their exploration as they traveled upwards. Bella reached down and pulled at my shirt, drawing me towards her.

I moved willingly, sitting up and pulling her against me with one hand and yanking my shirt off with the other. Bella pressed her body against me, her nipples stiffened as they came into contact with my cool chest. She leaned her head back , throwing her hair back as she moved against me, I growled as I saw her expose her throat to me, and I ran my fingers gently over the arch of her throat until I reached her shoulder, then her chest, as I ran m fingers along the edge of the black lace that concealed her soft, rounded breast from me, Bella bucked herself against me. I closed my eyes in pure pleasure, and then opened them to realize that the black lace was now nothing more the scraps in my clenched fingers. Her breasts now rubbed against my chest, her nipples moving up and down with each thrust.

I moved us so she was lying on her back on the bed and I was above her, still between her legs, not wanting to end the contact between our two most pleasure able spots. There was something that I had to take care of first though. I stepped back, watching Bella writher in her pleasure n the bed. I could actually see the juices soaking her skin as they flowed from her vagina. I removed my pants and boxers in one swift moment. The slowly moved back to my love as she watched my approach with desire filled eyes. I had one arm on each side of her hips and was about to move back up to kiss her when I decided to see what she would do if I kissed her other lips. I moved down following the luscious odor that flowed from the soft wet flower that was her vagina. I ran the tip of my cool tongue over her lips, and she gasped, spreading her legs at the same time. I darted my tongue into her hot folds, the moved it up over the hard spot that I knew to be her clit.

Bella curled her toes against the blankets and pushed against my mouth as she grasped my hair twisting it in her fingers. I felt a fresh rush of flavor between her legs, and I knew she was enjoying this as much as I was. I continued tasting her, flicking my tongue around her as she started whispering my name. I could feel the muscles of her tightening as I nibbled her rock hard clit gently with my teeth, and ran my tongue over it in circles. Bella Gasped and called my name "Edward!" I moved up her body then , trailing kisses up over her navel, between her breast, stopping to suckle in her nipples as my lips made their journey. "Edward!" Bella shouted this time. "Yes" I said roughly as I let the tip of my penis rub against the folds of her vagina, wanting entry. My breathing matched hers, and I could sense that she was getting close to orgasm. But I wanted her to tell me how much she wanted me.

"Please, Edward! Please!" she gasped between each word. "Each time she spoke her voice got higher. "Please what?" I whispered in her ear, as I let my body push against her from the tip of our toes to our chins. "Tell me Bella!" I said thickly, wanting to enter her, but wanting her permission first, I was still afraid to hurt her. "Please make love to me!" she said looking at me, her eyes so full of love that I was speechless. Bella moved her hips further open to grant me entry. I put my hands above her against the thick wooden headboard as I gently pushed the head of my hardened cock into her hot pulsing body, and she screamed, "Yes!" I almost exploded as I felt her muscles contract around me, pulling me into her deeper. My hands clenched as I pushed myself fully into her, she gasped, and wrapped her feet around me holding me as tightly in her as she could. A chunk of the head board came off in my hands, I threw it aside as I pulled out so I could plunge into her again. I pushed again. "Yes Edward." she yelled, "Harder!"

Bella I moaned as I started thrusting into her harder and harder, watching as her breasts bounced with each stroke. "Oh Bella!" I gasped, I could feel the pressure in me mounting, and she was running her fingers over my chest biting on her lower lip as she moaned her pleasure aloud for me to hear. "I felt an amazing tightness over come my penis just as Bella screamed out my name, "Edward, Oh my!" And the rest of her words were drowned out as she was overcome by an orgasm so intense the her body arched against the bed, making her thrust against my so hard, drawing my penis into her so deeply that I, too, was overcome with the feeling of my own earthshaking orgasm, I felt my seed shoot deep inside her, as her muscles continued to contract against my penis. And My hand ripped huge pieces out of the head board as I roared her name. "Bella !"

We froze like that, neither wanting to move, both of us overcome with emotions, I didn't withdraw yet, I just held myself their feeling her heart beat against my penis. As I felt her heart beat begin to level out, I slowly withdrew from her, making her fingers clutch at my skin, as if to keep me where I was. I ever so gently moved , to lay beside her, and wrapped my arms around her, holding her close. I kissed her head, and she nestled into my neck, kissing me there tenderly. Our love filled the silence so intensely that no words needed to be spoken. I was overwhelmed with the perfection that I had just experienced, that If I could have cried I would have. As I felt Bella's breath even out, and I realized that she was asleep, I gave thanks to God that she was mine, and for bringing us together. I hummed the lullaby I wrote for her as she slept, and waited, hoping that I had been able to focus my strength better this time, and that come morning that I would not hate myself afresh for hurting her again a new. But that was something only time would tell.

**I hope that everyone is enjoying the story so far. I am great believer that people can connect on whole new levels when they make love, and when it is between soul mates, sparks fly! If you have any feedback please feel free to let me you're your opinions!**

**Please review! **


	6. Chapter 6

1Disclaimer :I do not own twilight, or any of it's characters.

Sorry that this update has taken so long. My kids have just returned from 6 weeks at camp, and I am trying to get internet at my house so I don't have to go into work at ungodly hours to write. I am more then willing to update, but I want some reviews. This story has over 300 readers, but no one seems to want to do a review. I would like 6 reviews for chapter 6, which I think is a fair request. So here goes. Happy reading everyone!

Isle Esme

Chapter 6

I lay there after Bella had fallen asleep, angry that I had let myself succumb to my desires. But as I lay there, watching her, seeing the content smile that played across her soft lips, I wondered if she had been right. Could this get better with each attempt? I carefully surveyed Bella, I didn't see any signs of bruises on her. I had watched for hours, checking each shadow that passed over her porcelain skin to be sure that it was only a result from the light, and not from my monestrous strength. But as much as I watched, nothing appeared, and she appeared to be sleeping comfortably, if not the happily.

After hours of vigilant watching with no resulting bruises on my beloved's skin, I allowed my eyes to inspect the damage to the rest of the room. I ran through a mental checklist: pillows-intact, headboard-damaged, and would need replacing, but still standing, blankets-intact. I glanced around to see if anything else had been ruined, and a scrap of black lacy fabric at the foot of the bed caught my eye. Ahhh my wife's sexy lingerie-destroyed. I smiled at that, it was too bad, as it had hugged every curve of her body, making her even harder to resist, but lingerie was easily replaced.

I thought back to what had led to my undoing, and I wondered what had made Bella so distraught. I had been so worried, and she had been near hysterics. Though I was no longer upset about the ensuing love making. It had been even better then our wedding night, this time I was more prepared for what would happen when our bodies joined. I had been able to control myself more. I had been able to allow myself to give in to the waves of pleasure that rocked through my body, making every inch tingle with euphoria, while still maintaining a semblance of awareness of my surroundings. Maybe Bella was right, and that practice would make it even more amazing. I liked thinking that it would be nothing less the earth shattering to be able to be with Bella more often in such an intimate, soul baring way.

Nothing I had been told by the men in my family had prepared me for the intensity that our physical love, combined with the strength of our emotional connection, had caused. I thought that Bella had already changed me so completely, so deep to the core of my very being, that this joining would only make our bond more concrete, but it had taken it to a whole new level. Our lovemaking had let me be close to her in a way that I had never been, it was if we had actually been one for that length of time that we were connected. I have never been able to see inside Bella's mind, but during our love making it was as if I had been able to sense her every emotion, to have her be apart of me mind, body and soul, all at once as her heart beat for the two of us.

I lay there thinking over the amazing night that we had shared, and I knew that I would not hesitate to make sweet love to her again. I was a very lucky man indeed. Now I would wait for her to wake up, so I could see the warmth of her brown eyes as she looked at me in the glow of the rising sun as it shone upon her radiant face, making her glow. I kept an arm wrapped around Bella as she snuggled close to my cold body in the balmy heat of the tropics. I felt the change in her breathing as she started to come out of sleep and I tucked my hands behind my head and stared towards the ceiling to wait for her.

I sensed the minute changes in her as she rose into consciousness. She moved her head ever so slightly, then she propped herself up on her elbow, as if to be able to see my face more clearly. In a small voice she asked, "How much trouble am I in?" Trouble, I am the one who should be in trouble, for giving in so easily, but I was past that now, I had given into guilty pleasure. "Heaps ." I told her as I turned and gave her a half smile. She let out her breath in a whoosh, as if she had been holding it in. "I am sorry, I didn't mean... Well I don't know exactly what that was last night." she said as she shook her head. I understood that, as I had no idea what that had been about last night either. The very memory of her tears spilling over her cheeks in a torrent of grief made me want to hold her tight, and to kiss her as if that could dissipate any sadness that might remain.

"You never did tell me what your dream was about." I softly prompted her in hopes that she might be able to explain better now that the dream was only a memory. She let out a nervous laugh as she ducked her head, letting her hair fall across her face. The deep scarlet blush that spread across her fair skin only added to the mystery of what was on her mind. "I guess I didn't-but I sort of showed you what it was about" The realization of what she was saying shocked me to my very core. She had been dreaming of making love with me! The realization that she desired me so deeply, made my dead heart soar. I couldn't even fathom what I must look like as this dawned on me. "Oh." Was all I could manage, but I quickly recovered and added a sly "Interesting." for her benefit.

"It was a very good dream." she said softly. I let my mind wander, imagining what images her mind had created of the two of us. Had she imagined our bodies entwined together? Has she felt her breath quicken at my touch? Did she think about the intense pleasure as my hard member slid into her hot warmth? My imagination could have run away with the thoughts that often overtook my own inner mind until she asked, "Am I forgiven?" "I'm thinking about it." I teased her, knowing full well that she had nothing to be forgiven for.

She sat up slowly, I noticed her eyes surveying her body in what I assumed she thought was a subtle way. She started to move, but I noticed her body tense ever so briefly, then she swayed and fell back against the pillows. I had sat up in the blink of an eye, filled with concern. "Woah... head rush." She moaned. I wrapped my arms gently around her then, worried about her. "You slept for a long time. Twelve hours." I informed her, thinking that perhaps that might explain what she was feeling. "Twelve?" She squeaked in response. She said nothing more, leaving me to wonder what might be going through that beautiful head of hers.

She lay there and stretched, continuing the quiet survey of her body. "Is the inventory complete?" I asked her, wanting her to know that I was aware of what she was up to. She nodded, then said "The pillows all appear to have survived." she smiled slyly at me. Unfortunately I can't say the same for your, er , nightgown." I nodded my head to the foot of the bed where the remains of her night gown lay scattered across the silky sheets. "That's too bad I liked that one." She said teasingly. "I did, too." I said remembering how she had looked in the filmy black fabric that had clung to her shapely curves, ruffling against her smooth creamy hips.

"Were there any other casualties?" She asked quietly. I mentally went over the checklist that I had made earlier. "I'll have to buy Esme a new bed frame." I told her as I glanced at the damage over my shoulder, I was embarrassed at my confession. She had noticed my glance and studied the damage from where she sat. "Hmmm," she said with a frown that caused a wrinkle to form between her sculpted eyebrows. "You'd think I would have heard that." I thought back to last night, to her screaming my name, to her thrusting her hips up to meet mine as they strained forward to move with her. To us moving as one as we were both overwhelmed by the heights of the orgasms that had crashed like waves over our bodies. "You see to be extraordinarily unobservant when your attention is otherwise involved.' I told her as I held in a chuckle. "I was a bit absorbed," She said as she blushed the deepest possible shade of red. She was embarrassed. I loved the way that her face betrayed her emotions, it helped me know what she was thinking, and as I couldn't read her mind, her face was often my only window into the inner workings of her mind.

I reached out a hand and stroked her cheek, feeling the heat of her skin against the coolness of my hand, and I sighed. "I am going to miss that." She stared at me, studying my face. "How are you feeling?" She asked me. I couldn't help it, but a laugh escaped, and it came out even louder then I had expected. "What?" she demanded, her eyes wide with wonder at my response. "You look so guilty-like you committed a crime." I had to let her know how adorable she looked right now. "I feel guilty, " She said quietly, almost as if she didn't expect me to hear. " So you seduced your all-too-willing husband. That's not a capital offense." She was so easily to tease, I couldn't resist. Knowing that she was unhurt, made it much easier for me to be lighthearted.

Her cheeks, which had just started to return to their normal color, flushed scarlet again. "The word seduced implies a certain amount of premeditation." She retorted. "Maybe that was the wrong word." I conceded, seeing her discomfort. It seemed to be the right response as she calmed visibly. "Your not angry?" She asked looking at me through those thick lashes of hers. I couldn't be angry with her, ever. "I'm not angry." I said as I smiled at her. She seemed a bit surprised by my answer. "Why not?" She asked. I wondered how I should answer her question. There were so many reason why, but the most straightforward seemed to be the best answer. "Well...."I started then paused, "I didn't hurt you, for one thing. It was easier thus time, to control myself, to channel the excesses." I recalled how I had channeled the excesses last night, and I glanced at the bedframe again. "Maybe because I had a better idea of what to expect."

The grin that started to spread across Bella's face was as radiant as the sun. "I told you that it was all about practice." she said smugly. I rolled my eyes, thinking for a moment that I should lean over and show her just how ready I was for another round of practice, but just as I was about to lean over and join my lips against hers, her stomach growled to protest it's need for sustenance. "Breakfast time for the human?" I asked, knowing how hungry she must be, humans had to eat far more frequently then vampires did,, it was a fascinating human detail that I had forgotten, but enjoyed rediscovering. "Please." she said enthusiastically as she hopped out of bed, as she did so she staggered losing her balance. I was at her side, steadying her against my body. "Are you alright?" I asked, my voice heavy with concern. I was used to Bella being clumsy, it was endearing to me, but a source of great frustration for her. She smiled in answer and said" If I don't have a better sense of equilibrium in my next life.. I'm demanding a refund."

Bella took a human moment, and came out wearing a short blue silk, kimono type robe that must have been hanging in the bathroom. It was silky and fell against the rounded curve of her thigh, drawing my eyes to where it ran across her warm moist center. The soft fabric clung to each and every curve of her body. I just stood there admiring how beautiful she was, once again wondering how I had managed to obtain this angel as my wife. Bella started to move out of the bedroom, and I moved with her. We headed into the kitchen, it's cheery warmth was made even warmer by Bella's very presence I started to get things out to prepare her something to eat, but she came over and placed her hands over mine, taking the ceramic mixing bowl I was holding from my fingers. She used her head to nod towards the table, so I went over and sat, watching her work. She got out a skillet, and dropped a small amount of oil in the pan, and turned on the stove to heat it. She went to the fridge and reached in to get something, causing the robe to shift higher revealing that she was wearing absolutely nothing underneath.

I could see the darkness between her legs as she leaned further in to reach for something, and the silky fabric pulled up over her smooth creamy bottom, showing my quickly responding body each and every tempting curve. I felt a throbbing in my groin, that tightened and pulsed with her every movement. The memory of how it would feel if I were to plunge my aching hardness into her tight warmth made me moan, and contemplate rushing over there and pulling her against me. I imagined pinning her against the refrigerator door as she grasped my hair in her fingers and wrapped her legs around my hips, drawing me closer to her depths, and the warmth that awaited me there. I envisioned pushing into her and feeling her muscles clench around my penis as she writhed against me, pulling me deeper and deeper until neither of us could stop the pleasure that would make us call out in our passion to one another.

I had to get a grip, and control my lust. I turned away for a moment as Bella found what she had been looking for and stood up. She closed the fridge door, her robe sliding back into place. I took a few moments to allow the pressure between my legs to ease up, and I forced myself to behave, knowing that soon enough we would not be alone, as the cleaning crew was due today, but vowing that anytime she let me know that she wanted me that I was hers, and I would be for the rest of eternity.


	7. Chapter 7

1Isle Esme

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of it's characters. I am just using them for my selfish enjoyment. Please review.

**Please take the time to review, it will make me update faster.**

AN Reviews make me happy, and are much appreciated. I am currently writing when I should be getting things inside in case hurricane Bill hits tomorrow, and I have decided that can wait while I update, please feel free to check out my other story Uncertain beginnings.

Chapter 7

Bella cooked herself up some eggs, hardly waiting for them to be done before she tossed them onto a plate and practically inhaled them. "Since when do you eat eggs sunny-side up?" I asked her. "Since now." She said with a taunting smile. "Do you know how many eggs you've got through in the last week?" I asked her. I opened up the cupboard under the sink, and pulled out the trash bin, showing her the numerous blue cartons that filled it. "Weird,"she said as she took another bite of steaming eggs from her plate. "This place is messing with my appetite. But I like it here. We'll probably have to leave soon, though, wont we, to make it to Dartmouth in time? Wow I guess we need to find a place to live and stuff, too."

I moved over to sit beside her at the small kitchen table. "You can give up the college pretense now-you've gotten what you wanted. And we didn't agree to a deal, so there are no strings attached." I told her wishing that I had agreed when she had offered, if only so I could keep her human a little bit longer. She made an adorable nosie, something between a snort and a cough, then she replied. "It wasn't a pretense, Edward. I don't spend my free time plotting like some people do. What can we do to wear Bella out today?" She said, trying to imitate my voice in the latter part. I had to laugh at her, knowing that she saw through my carefully thought out plans, but knowing that it was the truth. Then she continued "I really do want a little more time being human," She leaned towards me and ran her hand over across my bare chest, her fingers leaving a searing path of pleasure from the contact. "I have not had enough." She said, making it very obvious what she had not had enough of.

"For this?' I questioned her catching her hand before it could venture any further down my body."Sex was the key all along?" I rolled my eyes as images of her sweat streaked body moving against me played in my mind. Sex was a key that I was happy to be in possession of. I swallowed pushing thoughts of her warm, naked body aside "Why didn't I think of that?" I said purposely pouring sarcasm into my voice, "I could have saved myself a lot of arguments." She laughed at me and replied "Yeah probably."

"You are so human" I said as I thought about how her hormones had run rampant when I had touched her, though my body may have even reacted faster then hers did when she touched me. Her hands held the power to move me in ways that I had never imagined. "I know." she said. My mind grasped the situation for what it was, she was willing to wait, to stay human, soft, and innocent. She would stay as I wished. I would be able to hold her and feel her heart race as I kissed trails over her heated flesh, moving down the soft mounds of her breasts. I would be able to feel her pulse pick up as I teased her nipples with my cold tongue and they hardened under my touch. The blush that would burn across her cheeks as her body responded to me would continue to show her pleasure as my hands traced the curves of her body. I was all for this idea.

Excitement at the idea of more time with her before I turned her was what I wanted more then she would ever know. I couldn't withhold the smile that started to spread across my lips. "We're going to Dartmouth? Really? I asked, wanting to be sure that I hadn't imagined ths moment. "I will probably fail out in one semester." She said, with an alluring smile as she looked up at me through her eyelashes. I jumped with a response. "I'll tutor you." My smile spread even further as I told her, "You're going to love College." Bella turned thoughtful for a moment then asked "Do you think we can find an apartment this late?" I looked down at the floor, unable to look her in the eye, wanting to compose myself before I admitted to her that we already owned a home in the vicinity of the university. I always liked to be prepared. I took a deep breath and calmly replied "Well, we sort of already have a house there. You know, just in case." "You bought a house." she squeaked. "Real estate is a good investment." I replied, knowing it was true, but that it was not the reason for the purchase. I had purchased homes near every school that Bella had applied for.

Bella raised an eyebrow, as if she was about to lash out a comeback, but instead she simply said "So we're ready, then." Yes we were definitely ready, except for a few small details. "I'll have to see if we can keep your 'before' car for a little longer...." I said thinking aloud. "Yes, heaven forbid I not br protected from tanks." She retorted, her voice laden with laughter, I had to laugh again. She was so amazing, and she brought out the very best in me.

"How much longer can we stay?" she asked me softly, as if she was worried that we would have to leave soon. "We're fine on time. A few more weeks, if you want. And then we can visit Charlie before we go to New Hampshire. We could spend Christmas with Renee..." I wanted her to know that the future was full of endless possibilities that we could experience together. She thought silently for a few minutes, different emotions flitting across her face, but she said nothing aloud. I wished, as I often did that her mind was not closed to me, so I could read her thoughts and know what she was thinking, but she did not reveal anything, and I did not push for details. "A few weeks ."she agree with a small smile that reached clear to her eyes, then she continued, "So I was thinking- you know what I was saying about practice before?" I had to laugh, but as much as I wanted to take her up on the idea of practice, I could hear the sound of an engine outside so I had to ask her to wait. "Can you hold on to that thought? I hear a boat, the cleaning crew must be here."

"Let me explain the mess in the white room to Gustavo and then we can go out. There's a place in the jungle on the south-" She interrupted me before I could finish though. " I don't want

to go out. I am not hiking all over the island today. I want to stay here and watch a movie." She complained. I tried not to laugh as she pouted and scrunched up her face in the cutest way. "All right, whatever you'd like. Why don't you pick one out while I get the door.?" "I didn't hear a knock." She said, looking confused. I tilted my head in the direction of the door, as I listened to the soft approaching steps outside. Sure enough less then a second later a soft knock sounded against the thick door. I smiled at her, and raked her body over with my eyes taking in her barley dressed body. Bella looked down and blushed as she realized how little she was wearing, then she rushed into our bedroom.

I turned to the door to answer it. As I pulled the door open Bella returned, surprisingly fast for her, wearing a light colored tank top, and a pair of shorts that showed of her long, toned legs. She went over to the shelves by the large television, and started browsing through the DVD's there. I closed my eyes as I envisioned those legs wrapped around me pulling her body against mine. Their was a pulse between my legs as my penis started to throb with it's desire to be close to Bella heated core. I groaned quietly as finished opening the heavy door, and I turned to greet Gustavo.

Gustavo was not alone today, he had a woman with him, whose thoughts revealed her to be his wife Kaure. They did not speak English, but that was not a concern as I spoke fluent Portugese. I immediately sensed Kaure's fear when she saw me. She looked at me and trembled, immediately pulling her eyes away from mine and focusing them on the floor. Her thoughts raced with images and phrases that practically screamed accusations at me. This woman suspected me for what I was. It was not often that we stumbled upon a human who was so sure of what we were. I was going to have show her my most human side to put her mind at ease. I went on to explain to Gustavo what needed to be cleaned in the house. He didn't question me, merely making sure that he had his instructions correct. I lead the way into the house to point out the way to the rooms that needed the most attention.

We moved into the living room where Bella was sitting on the couch, with her legs demurely brought up against her chest. Her dark hair looked stunning against the White leather sofa, making her dark brown eyes look even more warm and deep then usual. Bella looked up as we entered, and being ever mindful of my manners, I introduced her, unable to contain the burst of pride that I experienced as I said the word wife, as I introducedmy new bride. Bella flushed pink at the mention of her name, making me wish to kiss her from one cheek to the other. The man smiled at her, his thoughts touching on the fact that she was beautiful, but they moved on to thinking about his own honeymoon, and how he had felt like the luckiest man on earth that night. As Gustavo thoughts moved onto the task at hand, my mind was drawn to Kaure's thoughts. She was staring at Bella her eyes wide with abject horror. Her thoughts were running along the same lines. She was worried for Bella, she feared for her life in fact. She had no doubt that Bella was human, and she expected that I had brought her here to kill her. Her people had legends about demons like me who lured beautiful woman to their deaths. I was worried that Her intense looks would upset Bella so I ushered them on to the devastated bedroom that was in need of cleaning..

I quickly returned to Bella in the living room I wrapped my arms around her, holding her close. "What's with her?" Bella asked, making it very obvious that she had seen Kaure's expression. I shrugged as I replied, " Kaure's part Ticuna Indian. She was raised to be more superstitious-or you could call it more aware-than those who live in the modern world. She suspects what I am, or close enough. They have their own legends here. The Liboshomen- a blood-drinking demon who preys exclusively on beautiful women." I gave her a covetous glance to let her know that I knew she was a beautiful woman. She seemed to contemplate what I had said, then she replied, "She looked terrified.." "She is." I confirmed, "but mostly she's worried about you." "Me?" she asked questioningly. "She's afraid of why I have brought you here, all alone." I chuckled wondering what Kaure would have thought if she could have seen the things that we had done here. "Oh well," I continued, "why don't you choose something for us to watch? That is an acceptably human thing to do."

"Yes, I'm sure a movie will convince her that you're human." Bella said with a laugh as she clasped her arms around my neck, she entwined her fingers together behind my neck and stretched up on her tiptoes, I leaned down so our lips could meet. The feeling of her lips against mine, made the throbbing return between my legs and I pulled her body against mine to make kissing her even easier, pulling her feet off of the floor. The feeling of her body against the length of mine made a growl rumble deep in my chest. I felt her move against me in an effort to pull me into a deeper kiss, her lips parted and her tongue darted out to trace my lips with her warmth. The smell in the room became charged as the scent of her arousal reached my nose.

'Movie, schmovie.' she said softly as I moved my lips down over the contours of her throat. My manhood was straining to be freed so it could seek out her warmth. I could feel her fingers grasping at my hair in an attempt to pull me even closer and I obliged her happily. All of a sudden a gasp from behind us made me pull away from her. I placed her back on her feet on the floor, and took a step backwards, still leaving an arm on her to help her keep steady. I had completely forgotten that we were not alone, and had been lost in her scent, and touches.

Kaure stood in the hallway, feathers were floating all about and were stuck in her dark hair, but it was her thoughts that drew my attention. She had honestly thought that I was about to kill Bella! My eyes widened with the shock that she could actually think that I would hurt her. Bella was my life, my reason for existing, and I would never hurt her. Bella blushed and looked down at the floor. I felt bad for her discomfort, but it was Kaure who recovered first. She murmured how sorry she was to have interrupted. I glanced at Bella, her decreasing blush and gentle smile made it obvious that she had understood the gist of Kaure's words, even if she did not understand them verbatim. I answered her flustered apology with a kind smile, and told her not to worry about it. She quickly turned away and continued down the hallway.

Bella looked at me then and said quietly, "She was thinking what I think she was thinking, wasn't she?" I laughed as I said "Yes." Bella reached out and grabbed the first movie her fingers came into contact with on the shelf. "Here," she said handing it to me, 'put this on and we can pretend to watch it." I looked at the case. It was an old style musical with elaborate costumes, and people grinning like maniacs on the cover. 'Very honeymoonish.' I said in approval of her choice.

We snuggled on the sofa as the movie played, neither on of us actually playing attention to the people dancing around on the screen of the television. Bella resting her head against my shoulder. "Will we move back into the white room now?" Bella asked as I traced my fingers over the contours of her back. I thought for a moment before responding "I don't know....I have already mangled the headboard in the other room beyond repair- maybe if we limit the destruction to one area of the house, Esme might invite us back someday." I could feel Bella face break into a smile where her face lay against me. Then she leaned her head back to look into my face "So there will be more destruction?' she asked with a demure smile, through heavily lidded eyes. I had to laugh. "I think it might be safer if it's premeditated, rather than if I wait for you to assault me again." I said with a grin. "It would only be a matter of time.' She agreed making my breathing catch as I noticed her heart rate picking up.

"Is there something the matter with your heart?" I asked trying to subtlety draw her attention to the fact that I had noticed her heart beat increasing. "Nope. Healthy as a horse.'she said then paused before continuing "Did you want to go survey the demolition zone now?"

I wanted nothing more then to venture back into the bedroom with her, but I was still aware of the thoughts from the other room, and I could only imagine what Kaure's thoughts would be like if she heard me tearing apart the bed frame as I made love to Bella. "Maybe it would be more polite to wait until we're alone. You may not notice me tearing the furniture apart, but it would probably scare them." She paused, probably registering the fact that we were still not alone before quietly saying, "Right. Drat."

The reminder of our company seemed to help Bella focus, we both sat watching the movie as Gustavo and Kaure made their way through the house. Bella eventually fell asleep with her head in my lap. Though she didn't believe me when I told her she had slept so long. Finally Gustavo came to inform us that they were done, and that they would be leaving. Kaure's intense thoughts were looking to the next time she would be here in a few days, they had been asked to deliver fresh food, and Kaure thought it would be the perfect opportunity to check in to make sure that I hadn't harmed Bella. Her concern for Bella touched me, even if it was because she thought I was a demon. I still found that she was willing to try to look out for a person she barely knew to show what a kind person she was.

As they departed I told Bella they were finished. 'So that means we're alone now?" she asked me. "How about lunch first?" I suggested hearing her stomach make sounds that her human ears couldn't. I watched as she bit her lip as she thought about it. I smiled and took her hand, leading her into the kitchen.

I made her a large meal with bacon and eggs and even sliced fruit, no wanting her to feel hungry. She ate it as if she were famished, cleaning her plate. "This is getting out of hand.' She complained when she was done. She ran her hand over her belly, I could see that she was indeed stuffed as her abdomen protruded a little more then usual. I would have to feed her more regularly so she didn't have to eat so much in one sitting. "Do you want to swim with the dolphins this afternoon - burn off some calories?" I asked, knowing that many female humans were worried about their figures, but not knowing if Bella was like that. She surprised me often, proving how unlike other human women she was. I looked down to where she rubbed her stomach absently, as if to sooth the fulness she felt there. Her belly was slightly rounded, giving her and even more womanly shape, and making me wish to run my lips over her body as I appreciate each one of her glorious curves.

I glanced at Bella who was suddenly staring intently at me, her eyes shining. "Maybe later. I had another idea for burning calories.' She said calmly. 'And what was that?" I asked out of curiosity. "Well, there's an awful lot of headboard left–" she said suggestively. I never gave her the chance to finish her sentence, having already swept her soft body into my arms. As I held her heated body against mine, I pressed my lips to hers, letting the passion we had held at bay all morning, sweep over us as I ran as fast as my vampire speed would take us, into the blue room.

I laid Bella back on the bed, using my arms to support the weight of my body, while still allowing our bodies to be pressed firmly together. Bella ran her hands over the width of my shoulders, pulling me towards her. I followed her wishes, knowing that she would not be able to pull me anywhere, should I not wish to move, but I liked letting her have control. Bella pulled me towards her chest, her breaths were coming in gasps, each one making her breasts rise up to touch me. I moaned aloud at the contact, but wanting more. I felt as if things were uneven, here I was bare chested, while she was fully clothed, so I decided it was time to even the playing field.

I gently placed my knee in the space between her legs, and slowly brought it up, she spread her legs willingly, and I brought my second leg in causing her to spread her thighs even further. I sat back on my knees, then ran my hands down her legs from her knees, grazing them gently over her inner thighs and over her hips. When my hands arrived at her waist I pulled her body to me, settling my pelvis against her heated core. I could smell her increasing arousal, and I felt her gyrate her hips against me, which in turn caused my penis to jump and strain against the fabric of my shorts. Bella moaned and bit her lower lip as she stared at me, her eyes had darkened drastically, surely reflecting the emotions in my own. I ran my hands farther up over her curved waist, and I let my fingers deftly slip up over her rib cage, under her shirt until they reached the soft swells of her breasts.

I stopped feeling Bella's breathing catch, but continued moving my hands, up over her breasts, slowly, stopping to gently tease her nipples between my cool fingers. My pants were now being pushed to their limits as my hardness increased, knowing how only thin pieces of fabric kept it from plunging into Bella's hot folds, the tightness that awaited it there, to caress it, to pull it into her depths as we moved in unison. I forced myself to concentrate, moving my hands further up Bella's front. I leaned closer to her, my mouth seeking hers, and she pushed herself up to join me. As she did so I swiftly pulled her tank top over her head, to allow my eyes to take in her nude torso.

Every time I saw her naked body it was as if I had forgotten how truly ravishing she was. My memory was flawless, but it still never measured up to the real thing. She was perfect from her shiny brunette locks, to her perky, rounded breasts. From her shapely legs, to her intense chocolate brown eyes. Bella grasped at me with her hands, wrapping one around my neck, while throwing the other one around my waist, which she then used to pull her open hips more flush with my bulging need. 'Edward' she whispered, pleading her burgeoning desires with me. She reached down with her hand to undo the buttons of my shorts, her hands grasping. I turned us so quickly, that she almost missed the fact that she was now on top.

Being on top seemed to bring out the more primal side in her. She started moving against my hips, pushing harder and harder with each movement. She rubbed her vagina against my penis that was fighting to be released from its confinement. With each push, she threw her head back, moaning, and rocking her hips, causing hers breasts to bounce against her body. I ran my hands down over her hips, grasping at the material that kept us separated, and I pulled it apart, first hers then mine, removing the last boundaries between our pulsing skin.

My penis, no longer trapped, pushed against her, she felt the difference immediately, and she changed her movements, to allow her throbbing clit to slid up and down against the shaft of my rock hard cock. She started to quiver every time her clit rubbed against the head of my penis, and the wetness that covered me showed me that she was getting close to her climax. I stopped her movements, and she looked at me, her eyes pleading for me to help her finish what we had started, her lips swollen with desire. I pulled her hips so her body was above me, my penis was at full attention anticipating entry into her body. She realized what I was about to do, and she reached down with her soft fingers to grab the shaft of my penis. She open her legs wide to accept me, and guided me into her warmth with a shuddering scream.

The intensity of being inside her almost made me explode inside her then and there, her muscles clenched down hard on my manhood over and over. She moved on me riding up the length of my cock, only to allow herself slide down hard onto my body, I felt the head of my penis collide with her very depths with each thrust. Bella started screaming my name, and I turned us over again wanting to give her every possible moment to prolong the intensity of her climax. Now that I was on top I could control the speed with which I entered her, and I gloried in the feeling of drawing myself almost all of the way out, only to plunge myself into her burning heat over and over, holding still for a few moments between each thrust. Bella was grabbing at me, trying to dig her nails into my skin. The feeling of her fingers against my chest only increased my need for her.

I pulled Bella upwards onto my cock, holding her body against mine as she sat on my lap as I was on my knees, our heaving chests pressed together. I wrapped my arms around her pulling her close so I could kiss her as I slowed my movements. She responded to my kiss like a tigress, we moved together then, each of us thrusting against the other. With each thrust she would whimper or scream my name, and I could feel the constant clenching from her muscles as her orgasm came closer and closer. I felt my own peak coming closer with each plunge as her muscles pulled along the shaft of manhood. With one more hard, deep thrust Bella's body was sent over the edge, every muscle of her body clenching, her toes curling as she wrapped her legs around me, and she screamed my name over and over. I continued to pulse in and out of her tight vagina drawing out her orgasm as my own neared, and suddenly washed over me as I pulled her tightly to my body so she could receive every last bit of what her body pulled from mine.

I held myself there against her, feeling her hands on my body holding me in place. I turned to look into her clear and loving eyes, knowing that neither of us wanted to move, enjoying this tender closeness that came with being connected after such an intense release. I gently pulled out of her, receiving a small gasp of pleasure with the friction from my withdrawal, and tenderly laid her back with her still against me in my arms. She shifted just enough to allow us to lay together in comfort wrapped in each others arms, without moving us apart from one another. I ran a hand up to stroke her cheek as I studied her features. She looked at me and kissed me tenderly on the lips, not a kiss of passion, but a kiss of content, fulfilled love. "I love you Edward." she said, those words, which were so simple, conveyed so much. She curled up against my chest and closed her eyes, I could hear the sound of her heart as if smoothed out it's rhythm readying for sleep. "I love you, Bella." I said, "I will love you for as long as I exist." I said as I kissed her forehead and hummed her lullaby, as she fell asleep.

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	8. Chapter 8

1**Disclaimer: I do not own twilight or any of it's characters, but I can enjoy playing with it!**

Chapter 8

As Bella slept curled up against me, I took time to reflect on how perfect my life was. I had always assumed that I would be stuck in a soulless existence. I had gone through the day to day monotony that was our life. Pretending to be something I wasn't, always putting on an act. As if it weren't torture enough to be exposed to the thoughts of hundreds of students and faculty, but to have to pretend that learning subjects that we knew better then the teachers was enjoyable, was too much. I had been depressed enough over being the odd man out in our family, though I didn't begrudge anyone the joy and love they deserved, it was hard to be surrounded by such intense love, such dedicated pairings. How I had envied them.

I had waited, hoped, and finally had given up hope, eventually just assuming that love would just be an impossibility for me, that being damned to this life had forsaken any chance that I might have had at finding the one person who would complete me. Yet here I was holding the other half of my soul in my arms. I never would have pictured this marvelous creature would have been mine forever, but now I would gladly go back and live through the same misery ten times over, as long as I knew that I would have Bella waiting for me when it was through.

Many cultures have words for what she was to me, but I have always favored the expression used by people of the Jewish culture, they used the term bashert. And that is what Bella was to me, she was my bashert. During the second world war I had the luck of observing many Jews who were emigrating from their homelands due to the Germans tyrannical rule. I had seen many families who were torn apart, but who still held firm in their love an commitment to one another. Many believed that they were only one half of a soul, and that God had pre-ordained their perfect match. When they found that person, they said they found their bashert. I felt that same way, that Bella had been meant for me, that was why fate had not intervened in my self pity, for those countless years. Fate knew that Bella was coming, and that once I saw her that I would be whole and complete, as I now was.

Bella turned in her sleep, moving slightly further from me. The heat was not as humid tonight, as it often was, so it made sleeping more comfortable for her without me to keep her cool. I knew that I needed to go hunting, and figured that if I left now that I could get to the mainland and hunt, hopefully returning before my love awoke. I slipped ever so gently from our bed, and placed a kiss on the top of her head. My kiss was rewarded with the gentle upturn of her lips into an unconscious smile. I went over to the elegant desk and penned Bella a quick message. I quickly wrote a note, then smiled to myself as I turned it over and wrote Mrs. Cullen on the other side, loving the way that it looked, and loving the fact that she was now my wife, my lover, my soul mate for eternity. I did not want Bella to panic if she happened to awake and not find me here with her so I left the note on the pillow I had been using, where she was sure to see it. Then I moved as fast as my vampire speed could go to get to the boat, so I could get my hunt over and done with, allowing me to return to her warm embrace..

I threw the boat into drive and pushed it as far as it was possible without burning out the engine. I watched the waves as they rolled away from the boat. I wanted to hunt quickly and to get back to Bella, every minute away from her made my dead heart convulse in pain, and the feeling only ever righted itself when we were together again. It was not too long until I pulled into the pier at the mainland. It was the dead of night, and there was no one to be seen, the only thoughts were muffled images, that were common from people dreaming. I raced from the small city center, into the nearby forest. I liked the fact that there was such lush growth so close to the small city here, the city was more like a town compared to our home country, t it worked in the same manner in this place. But due to the financial restrictions that came with less developed countries, this was what was managed. However this boded well for me tonight. It should not take me long to find something to eat, so I could return home.

After running into the forest for a few moments, that would take me into the deeper growth of the forests, I paused to take a deep breath, allowing my instincts to govern my senses. I could smell the wide variety of life here. I let my brain sort through the scents to find the one it

found most appealing, but keeping tight control over the boundaries, not wanting to come across any humans by accident. I could smell a few Primates in the trees, but I did not care to hunt them, not caring for the flavor of their blood. I could smell a large herd of Capybara's that sounded as if they were grazing, the thumping of so many hearts was alluring, but they also did not draw my attention strongly. A sudden whiff of a more alluring odor wafted across my nose, and I smiled at the familiar scent of feline. Large cats had always been my favorite, and this sort of country had more of them then most, probably due to the think undergrowth, and amount of available prey.

I could smell the tangy odor of the feline, and I allowed my body to fall into hunting mode, following the source of the smell. As I moved the strength of the smell increased, letting me know that I was closing in on the source. I continued the silent stalking of my prey, the inner monster drawn by the thought of the warm blood that would sate it soon. As I continued moving further The strength of the smell increase, assailing my senses. I realized that the scent was actually two animals, and not just one. As I closed in on them the scent got stronger. Finally coming across an unexpected scene.

There before me was a giant male tiger, he was the largest feline that I had ever seen. His size was of no concern to me, knowing that my speed, and strength could crush him in a moment. But I was still awed by his majestic size, and animalistic power. He was positioned over a smaller female tiger. His position was protective and possessive. As I watched, he paid me no attention, instead he seized her by the scruff of her neck and forced his body onto hers, making her hiss and yowl in pain. As he finished with her and pulled away she screamed at him, swiping at him with her claws, only to roll over on her back to invite him in again, to start washing her tongue over his broad face, he closed his eyes accepting her affection. As hungry as I was, the monster retreated slightly. I felt no desire to interrupt this scene, feeling a comradery with these sensuous felines. So instead I turned myself back towards the Capybara herd., flying in for the kill as they scattered in fear. I quickly drank my fill, discarding the bodies for other predators to eat, knowing that the fauna was teeming with them. I finished as quickly as I could and I returned to the boat, was impatient to be with my Bella again.

When I had pulled back into the small dock of Isle Esme, I hurried up to the house. I made my way through the house, but stopped at the living room, seeing Bella asleep on the couch. Her skin glimmered with sweat, how could I have been so foolish as to not realize just how hot she might find it here without my cool skin to offer her some relief. She looked so tired sleeping on the couch, I noticed that she had opened the windows as if they might provide her with a cool breeze. I pulled her gently into my arms, wanting my embrace to make her more comfortable in her sleep. She seemed to jolt in my arms. The heat must really be bothering her, I thought. I ran my cool fingers over her forehead. 'I'm sorry," I murmured to her, "so much for thoroughness . I didn't think about how hot you would be with me gone. I'll have an air conditioner installed before I leave again." I was speaking quietly, berating myself for my stupidity, but sensing that she was aware wanting to apologize to her at the same time.

Suddenly she started rolling in my arms, her body heaving, '"Excuse me!" She gasped as she struggled against my arms. I let my arms fall back, releasing her. "Bella?" I asked in concern as she raced for the bathroom with her hand tightly gripped over her mouth. I moved swiftly to follow her, arriving at the same moment that she did. She leaned over the toilet, and was violently ill. I ran my fingers over her back, trying to provide some comfort, but I was not even sure that she knew I was there due to the violent heaving that was taking over her body.

"Bella? What's wrong?" I asked her, knowing that my voice would betray my worry. She didn't reply, but she slumped back against the wall, as if she was trying to catch her breath.. I pulled back the long strands of her hair, and held them away from her face with one hand, while I used the other to hold her, trying to offer comfort. It was a moment or two before she was able to respond, and the words that tumbled out were unexpected. "Damn rancid chicken," she moaned. "Are you all right?" I asked, my throat was constricted with worry, making it hard to speak. "Fine" she responded breathing heavily. "It's just food poisoning. You don't need to see this. Go away." She said, surely out of self consciousness. "Not likely, Bella." I responded feeling slightly better at the fact that she was well enough to be stubborn headed with me.

"Go away." She said again, moaning once more as she struggled to sit up. I grasped her arms to help her up, ignoring the fact that she was trying to push me away. Once she was upright she made her way over to the sink, and turned on the cold water. I watched as she rinsed out her mouth and splashed some on her face. She grabbed a tooth brush and toothpaste and set to work to rid herself of the sour taste in her mouth. When she was done, I scooped her into my arms, she didn't bother fighting with me this time. I carried her into the blue room, and I placed her onto the soft bed being carful to support her with my arms. 'Food poisoning?" I questioned her.

"Yeah." she croaked, "I made some chicken last night. It tasted off, so I threw it out. But I ate a few bites first." She looked so worn out. I placed my hand to her forehead, feeling the heat there. She leaned into the coolness of my hand. "How do you feel now?" I asked her wanting to find out every bit of information to compare it to the symptoms of food poisoning I had learned from medical school. "Pretty normal. A little hungry, actually." I knew that even if she felt hungry, that eating was not a good idea yet. Her stomach was making the strangest noises, gurgling and thumping like crazy. I was upset, knowing that if I had been here that I would have been able to smell the tainted chicken, and to prevent her from eating it, I felt at fault for her present condition. I told her that she should wait an hour or so before trying to eat again, even though she grumbled continuously. I got her to drink a large glass of water to keep herself hydrated, and after an hour, I took her into the living room and made her some eggs. She looked much better, though her stomach continued to make those strange sounds. I sat with her and turned on CNN to check out what had been happening in the world in the last few weeks since we arrived here. Bella dozed in and out as she lay on the couch with her head on my lap. I stroked her soft long hair following the length of it with my fingers. I let myself get lost in the silkiness of it's texture. Every time I moved her tresses, I was greeted with a fresh wave of freesia's and strawberries. I felt my loins pulse in response to the smell of her.

Bella smelled so sweet, so glorious that even the mere smell of her could make me hard with desire. I looked at her as she lay against me, she was so delicate and precious, I throbbed wanting to pull her into my arms, and to make sweet love with her to show her how much I loved her. Making love with her was the height of pleasure, I could imagine the feeling of her tenderly running her fingers over my shoulders, murmuring how much she loved me as I gently pushed my penis into her opening, allowing the head of my hardened manhood to tease the hardness of her core. Bella's pleasure would encompass my manhood, as her muscles pulled me deeper into her body, letting me rub against the spot in her body that made her whole body tremble. We would kiss one another tenderly, as I moved slowly in and out, as each thrust brought us both closer to a joint climax. I would be strong and sure inside her, making her need me, as much as I needed her. I needed her so much. It was at that very moment that Bella turned over and looked up at me with darkened eyes. She rose up to me, turning to place her lips against mine.

Suddenly the spell was broken as she curled around herself in pain again. She pulled clumsily away from me with one hand on her stomach, and one hand over her mouth. She ran into the kitchen, barely making it it time to throw up into the sink. I held her hair back again, unsure of what to do. I should have known not to make her those eggs. Her stomach continued to move in it's state of unrest. My eyes moved over it taking in the swell of it. That was why her stomach was acting up, I had fed her so badly that her stomach was reacting to the food she ate. Why hadn't I done a better job of taking care of her? I hoped that she would feel better soon and that I would be able to make it up to her. "Maybe we should go back to Rio, see a doctor," I suggested as she rinsed out her mouth again. I didn't want to tell her what to do, but I was worried that she was sicker then she thought. She shook her head, telling me no. "I'll be fine after I brush my teeth." She said as she made her way to the bathroom again closing the door behind her.

I waited for Bella, hoping that she was right. That this was something that would pass quickly. After all this wouldn't be the first time that I had been wrong in my life. I ran over her symptoms in my head again, trying to figure out what else might happen as a result of her food poisoning. I realized that Bella had been in the bathroom for quite some time, more then long enough to have brushed her teeth. I was worried that something was wrong, so I knocked on the door. "Are you well?" I asked her, "Did you get sick again?" I waited for her answer. "Yes and no." I heard her say, what was that supposed to mean/ She was scaring me now. "Bella? Can I come in?" I knew that she would hear the worry in my tone.

Her response was hesitant yet questioning, "O... kay?" I opened the door and entered. Bella was sitting on the floor cross-legged, beside her opened suitcase. She looked dazed. I lowered myself to the floor beside her, my hand immediately reaching for her forehead to check for a fever, or any other indicator that might solve this mystery. 'What's wrong?" I asked, unsure of what else to say. She did not respond at first, but finally she quietly asked, "How many days has it been since the wedding?" I answered without having to think "Seventeen" Seventeen glorious days, but what did that have to do with this? Was she worried that we would have to go home? "Bella, what is it?" She held up a finger, as if to ask me to wait. Why oh why did her mind have to be silent to me, this was the worst sort of torture. Bella's mouth moved as if to speak, but no sound came out. I looked closer at her lips, she seemed to be counting. Counting? Why? "Bella," I said impatiently, 'I'm losing my mind over here."

She didn't respond aloud, but she reached into her suitcase, fumbling around as if she was searching for something. I wondered what she could be looking for when she suddenly pulled out a small blue box of tampons. She held them up to me. I was confused, why was she showing me a box of tampons? What did that possibly have to do with this? "What? Are you trying to pass this illness of as PMS?" I knew the symptoms were wrong, but maybe she didn't, though I figured she would be familiar with her own cycles by now.

She shook her head as if frustrated by my lack of comprehension. "No!" She said in a strangled voice. "No, Edward. I'm trying to tell you that my period is five days late." I didn't understand, what was she saying? My mind was racing. "I don't think I have food poisoning." she said softly. I was frozen trying to understand, but for some reason my normally sharp mind was not working, it was like my thoughts were moving through tar. Bella continues to talk softly, almost as if to herself. 'The dreams, Sleeping so much. The crying. All that food. Oh. Oh.. Oh!" I wasn't even able to understand what she was saying, I could hear the sounds, but my mind was not taking in what she was saying.

I was semi aware that she had moved slightly, and her hand had moved. 'Oh." she squeaked. She moved away from me then, I felt my hands slip from her skin, but I was unable to move. My thoughts were staring to process what she had said. Her period was late.....what did that usually mean for humans.... I felt a coldness come over me the likes which I had never felt before. Woman's periods stopped when they were....pregnant. Pregnant! Couldn't there be another reason? Vampire cannot have children, Bella had to be mistaken. Maybe my semen had injured her. Maybe there was venom in my semen, had I injured her just by having made love to her.

Somewhere in my mind I was aware that Bella was now standing up moving around. "Impossible." I heard her murmur. I had to agree, impossible, what was going on here? I had visions of Bella wasting away, having been poisoned by my tainted ejaculate. Why had I ever agreed to any of this. Was I really so selfish that I had not thought of what might happen to her when she was exposed to my bodily fluids?

My mind felt like it was on pause as my thoughts flew from me, searching for any memory of having heard about anything like this in the history of any place. I felt something moving, vibrating, my phone was ringing, well let it ring, whoever it was could wait. I continued. My mind was trying to tune in to Bella, she was standing in front of the sink now, but I still could not move. The ringing phone drew her attention, and she carefully climbed down to me, feeling around for my phone. She glanced at the number and I saw recognition in her eyes. It as getting easier to focus as I listened to her speaking on the phone. I was so out of it that I hardly heard anything besides her voice. 'Hi Alice." I heard her say. Her voice was tight with emotions. I was so occupied that I didn't hear Alice's response. 'Yeah. Um. Is Carlisle there?" she asked "He is. What's the problem?" I heard Alice respond to her question. 'I'm not....one hundred percent...sure..." Bella replied. 'Is Edward all right?" I hear Alice ask. She called Carlisle from somewhere in the house then she asked Bella, "Why didn't he pick up the phone?" without giving Bella time to answer the first question she had asked. 'I am not sure." Bella responded in a small voice. Alice's response was shrill, "Bella, what's going on? I just saw-" Alice had been cut off into silence, untill she finally continued, "Here's Carlisle."

Carlisle voice came onto the phone next. 'Bella, it's Carlisle. What's going on?" His voice was soothing, but I could hear that it was laced with worry. Bella started to answer, 'I..' then she stopped. She took a deep breath before continuing, "I'm a little worried about Edwar... Can vampires go into shock?" "Has he been harmed?'' Carlisle responded urgently. 'No, no." Bella assured him quietly, 'Just.... taken by surprise." Carlisle sounded as confused as I felt when he replied, "I don't understand Bella." That made two of us, I didn't understand anything that was happening right now.

Bella breathed in and out before she answered him. "I think...well, I think that...maybe.. I might be.' She took a deep breath righ before she continued, 'Pregnant." There was silence on the phone line. I could picture Carlisle as her took this information I, processing it. 'When was the last day of your last menstrual cycle?" Carlisle had gone into full blown doctor mode. Bella glanced at me before replying, "Sixteen days before the wedding." He went on to ask her more questions, "How do you feel?" She responded quickly now, her voice cracking, "Weird. This is going to sound crazy-look, I know it's too soon for any of this. Maybe I am crazy, But I'm having bizarre dreams and eating all the time, and crying and throwing up and.. And.. I swear something just moved inside me just now.'

What? All of the haziness vanished as I looked at her. Did she just say something moved in her? I looked at her, her shirt was up and her belly that I had noticed as slightly rounded before, was even more prominent now, clearly rounding out between her hips. I held my hand out to her, wanting the phone. 'Um, I think Edward wants to speak to you." Bella said into the phone. "Put him on." Carlisle said his voice strained. Bella turned to me, to lay the phone in my hand, her eyes searching my face.

I pressed it to my ear. "Is it possible?" I asked him in a hoarse whisper, my voice betraying the struggle going on inside me. Carlisle took a deep breath. 'Edward I have no idea. I have never heard of anything like this. Her symptoms sound right, and what she describes sounds like she may indeed be pregnant. I have never heard of a human woman getting impregnated by a vampire, but then who has ever put that to a test? You two are unique in so many ways. You need to bring her here, from what she says she can already feel the fetus moving, that should not happen for months in a normal pregnancy. We don't know what sort of danger Bella may be in. She could be hurt son, you need to get her here as soon as you are able, catch the first available flight home. We will do whatever it takes to keep her safe Edward. If needed we could terminate the pregnancy. Just get here as fast as you can.' "Yes. Yes, I will.' I promised him. I would not let my Bella be hurt by this thing that had taken up residence in her womb. My demon spawn was already causing her pain, what would come next?

I ended the call and started immediately dialing the number to the airport to book the next available flight. 'What did Carlisle say?" Bella questioned as I waited for someone to answer on the other end. "He thinks you're pregnant." I said in a voice dead of all emotion. I watched as Bella's stomach moved almost imperceptibly. 'Who are you calling now?" She asked me unsure of what I was doing. I ran my fingers through my hair in frustration. I had no idea what to do, we needed Carlisle to figure out what to do next. "The airport," I said wondering why someone had not picked up the damn phone already,' We're going home."


	9. important author's note, please read!

1Authors note

I am trying to find out how far people want this story to go. Do you want me to take it into Bella's change, or should it end at the point where they go home? I thought it might be nice to learn more from Edwards POV through Bella's pregnancy. Would you like to see Rosalie's POV as well. Please review, I know that some of you maybe uncomfortable about reviewing a story like this one(it is almost as embarrassing as writing it!), but it has been loaded over 2000 times, with hundreds of readers in many countries. Please let me know, what my public wants, my public gets.

Thanks

Jen


	10. Chapter 10

1**Disclaimer: I do not own twilight or any of it's characters, but I can enjoy playing with them!**

*** Okay folks , thank you for all the reviews, what an ego boost. So here are the results of what everyone wants. You want me to continue the story through the pregnancy, and Bella's change. I will touch on what Edward thinks about the baby, and what happens when he realizes that he can hear the babies thoughts. I will bring in some Esme , Rosalie and Carlisle I want to hear the ladies thoughts on the pregnancy as esme lost her child, and all Rose has ever wanted was a child. I will go through lemons after Bella's change, we know how those vampires can be once they are focused on something, besides we know that private little pool needs to be used for something! Lol. If anyone else has something they would like, please let me know!***

**P.S Please Review, it makes me happy!**

**Jen**

Chapter9

I spent the next hour or so on the phone with the seriously inept people who worked at the airline, trying to get us a flight sooner, rather then later. They were brainless, trying to re route our flight through various places, not seeming to understand the words most direct possible flight. I multi tasked by packing our things as I argued that certain stop overs were in fact not beneficial compared to others. As I argued with the ridiculous people on the phone I was having trouble controlling my temper, this was urgent, I had to get my wife home, this was not a pleasure trip any longer. It might even be life or death............. The realization of it hit me with immense pain that nearly brought me to my knees, death....this could kill my Bella, this thing growing inside her. I couldn't bear the thought, and took my frustration out by yelling at the people on the phone.

I was pacing around the room, throwing things into suitcases, and hoping that if I was able to organize things physically, then maybe mental organization would follow suit. I tossed some of Bella's clothes on the bed, to make sure that I didn't leave her with nothing to wear home. I continued to pace, and move restlessly about. I noticed that Bella had left the room, but a imbecile had come on the phone and was trying to put us on a flight that would have four individual stopovers, and that was not acceptable. I was placed on hold, and I continued muttering an agitated stream of Portugese swear words too fast to be discerned by human ears.

All I could think of was the fact that Bella's life may now be hanging in the balance. I had been a selfish man, wanting her body so badly, that I had let the fact that I was a monster slip away into the waves of bliss that had encompassed me. I had lost myself in the sensuality of her body, the curves of her hips, the aroma of her arousal. I had taken what I had wanted, and now I was ashamed. Had I ruined my own chance at forever with her by polluting her with my seed? How could I not have realized that my vampire semen might have flown to her soft fertile eggs and taken them as I had taken her, by complete unawares.

Was I now going to have to accept the worst possible consequences? I had been given the most precious gift, and by being greedy, I might now be on my way to losing her. And this thing that grew in her womb....what was it? I could tell that Carlisle had been shocked, and worried, but I wished that I had been able to see his thoughts from this distance, as it would have shown me what we should most be concerned about. Did he know more then he said? Had I sentenced my sweet Bella to death? Was it already too late? These thoughts burned my mind with their intensity. Finally y thoughts were interrupted by a voice coming onto the phone. The man on the phone helped me sort out the mess the other agents had been creating, and after everything for our flight was finalized, I hung up.

I could hear Bella moving around in the kitchen, she seemed to be talking to herself, but she fell silent. "Bella?' I said as I came into the room. She turned to me, her eyes we glistening, and I could see the tracks that other tears had left on her cheeks as they fell down her beautiful skin, her skin that looked even paler then usual I noticed. Her tears alarmed me, and I rushed as quickly as possible to her side. " Bella!" I put my hands on her face, looking closely for something that eluded me. "Are you in pain?" She shook her head, the tears blurring her eyes. "No, no-" she said. I pulled her as tightly as I dared to my chest, closing my eyes as her soft tresses brushed against my skin.

"Don't be afraid. We'll be home in sixteen hours. You'll be fine. Carlisle will be ready when we get there. We'll take care of this, and you'll be fine, you'll be fine." Bella stopped moving in my arms, I could imagine her relief at hearing my words, knowing that Carlisle would keep her safe from being hurt, that knowledge was the only thing keeping me sane at this moment. I felt Bella take a deep breath against my chest. "Take care of this? What do you mean?" She asked me she must not know how we could help in such a confusing situation. I leaned back and looked her in the eye, wanting her to know that she was my only priority. 'We're going to get that thing out before it can hurt any part of you. Don't be scared. I won't let it hurt you." Bella started to speak, but I missed what she said as I heard a noise outside, and I realized that Gustavo was supposed to be here to clean today. I groaned inwardly, I would have to get rid of him. "Dammit! I forgot Gustavo was due today. I'll get rid of him and be right back." I explained to Bella.

Bella had a look of shock on her face as I pulled away to deal with our unexpected company. I went to meet Gustavo, and was surprised to find his wife Kaure had come with him again today. Her thoughts crashed upon my mind. She looked at me in fear, she was thinking of Bella. The Bella in her mind was radiant and smiling. Kaure had come to check on her to make sure that I hadn't killed her. She had come with a ploy, pretending that she had wanted to bring us a meal. She held a red dish in her hand, And held it up with a false smile as she told me that she had made us dinner. The smell emanating from it was a noxious combination of fish, garlic and other spices that caused me to wrinkle my nose in disgust. How could human's eat such foul stuff? It smelled rancid to me, but then most human foods smelled horrid to me. I immediately started explaining to them that they were not needed today, and that they should just leave, they could come back another day to clean.

Kaure assumed that I was trying to lead them away from the scene of a deadly crime, and that my attempts to keep them from their task was further proof to her that I had done everything that she feared. She was horrified, but would not be kept from the truth, she would either have her fears confirmed, and would prove to her husband what I truly was, as he thought her a fool for thinking such ridiculous thoughts about me. Or she would be able to make sure that Bella was safe from me for the time being. Kaure was forceful, she tried to push past me, and though I could hear her fear, she did not let it sway her from seeing Bella. I was rather touched at her concern. I turned to walk into the kitchen to explain why they were still here to Bella, and Kaure followed on my heels.

I went straight to my love. She still had tears on her face, and I brushed them away, trying to sooth her fears away. I leaned into her ear to explain "She's insisting on leaving food she brought-she made us dinner. It's an excuse - she wants to make sure I haven't killed you yet." I found this humorless, as even though I would never purposely hurt my love, I may indeed have sentenced her to death. My voice surely betrayed my emotions.

Kaure came hesitantly into the kitchen, he eyes taking in Bella, in an obviously living state. Her thoughts lifted somewhat as she realized that I had not in fact killed the young woman. She did however notice Bella's tears, and her thoughts blamed me, had I scared her, had they arrived to interrupt her becoming a victim. Her thoughts were fraying on the few remaining nerves that I had left. She placed the foul smelling dish on the table, and mumbled her apologies for any interruption that they had caused, though she didn't mean a word of what she said. I lost my temper then snapping at her to leave us, manners be damned. I was not going to listen to her accusations a moment longer, and the sooner they left the better.

Kaure turned quickly to go, my anger had alarmed her. The suddenness of her movement made her long skirt whip around sending a waft of fishiness towards us. The smell was worse then before now that it was even closer. Bella turned in my arms, gagging, trying to get to the sink. I moved with her, holding my cool heads to her forehead in hoes that it might provide her with some relief. Murmuring words of love to her as she retched into the sink. I realized that the smell was making it worse for her, and I left her side momentarily to put the offending dish in the fridge, then I returned to her, running my fingers over her face. She soon had her heaving under control. Then rinsed her mouth out under the sink as I stroked her cheek, trying to ease the flush that had crept up there.

I turned Bella around to pull her closer to me, wanting to offer comfort. She rested her head on my shoulder, as if it carried the weight of the world, and I felt her hands move to cover her stomach. Kaure's thoughts hit me at the same time as her gasp. I turned to look at her, her mouth was hanging open in shock. She is carrying his demon child! She was shouting in her head. I gasped realizing that she knew more about the situation then, and wondered if she had ever heard of any such things before. I turned to her, gently pushing Bella behind me wrapping my arm across her body as if, to shield her from Kaure's wide eyed stare, and screaming thoughts.

Kaure's mouth found it's voice and she started screaming her thoughts at me. 'How could you?' She yelled. "Why did you do this to her, why did you not stay with your own kind? Why must your kind do such awful things? What have people ever done to you? Do you know what you have done to her?" She screamed at me speaking in bits of Portugese, and also slipping into the native language of the Ticuna people. She stepped towards me shaking her fist as if she wanted to hit me, but still scared of me enough to not actually do it. I moved in her direction, and felt Bella trying to grab my arm. I had to know what she knew, I had to find out. "What are you talking about?' I asked her softly, pleadingly, wanting to know what she thought I had done. She stared at me, her eyes wide with shock, her thoughts questioned if it was possible that I honestly didn't know what was happening here. Then her eyes narrowed. She spoke loudly asking me a question in her native tongue. "Your kind have always done this to beautiful women, lured them gotten them with child then left them, you are still here, why did you not leave her like the old stories have said, why is this different, do you love her?"

I was speechless, unable to answer with words as I thought of how I loved Bella, I could only nod my head in reply. Kaure stepped back from me and crossed herself, her thoughts told me that I had just confirmed everything that she had feared me to be. If it had been another time, or place I might have found it funny that this superstitious woman was crossing herself with the holy trinity sign, but at this moment all I wanted was answers, and she might be my only hope of finding an answer. I reached out to her, holding my hand palm up, as if in surrender, then gestured to Bella with it before cupping Bella's cheek with my palm.

Kaure's response was angry, she was ranting about blood sucking demons, ruining human life for pleasure. Her arms flailed around as she ranted at me. "Please tell me what is happening? I love her....with all of my heart." I begged her to tell me what she knew. Her expression changed then, I could hear the doubt of my words in her mind, but inwardly she was debating, wondering if it was possible that I truly loved this woman. After all her peoples legends always said that the demons abandoned the pregnant women, they did not sit and hold them as they were ill, or whisper to them as she had watched me do.

Her eyes flashed back and forth from me to Bella as she debated telling me what she had heard, then took a small step in our direction. Kaure moved her hands in front of her stomach, imitating the silhouette of a woman heavy with child. Her thoughts aided my interpretation of her motions. She moved forward further, moving towards Bella, who seemed to shrink away from her. She asked me questions as she walked closer and closer. "She has pain?" she asked "Yes." I responded. "Can she eat?" "Not much actually." I replied. "You really love her?" "More then anything." I told her, knowing that it was the truth. I loved her more then it should be possible for one being to love another.

I asked then," Will she be okay?' Kaure hesitated before she shook her head, her thoughts relaying that she knew with that question that I had spoken truthfully to her about my love for Bella. The pain that went through me at her answer was the most painful thing I had ever experienced, it couldn't be! "What will happen to her?" I chocked out through the pain in my heart. Kaure walked over to Bella, each step she took was slow and heavy. She lay her hand atop of Bella, which was still placed over the rounded protrusion of her belly. Kaure looked at Bella then at me and said on word, " Death!"

She turned and walked out of the room. I was frozen again, I watched her leave, then stood staring at where she had just been, telling me that Bella was going to die. I just stood there, even after I heard Kaure get Gustavo and leave the house. I didn't know what to do. I only recovered myself when I felt Bella pull away from me. Carlisle would fix this, her people had never had a vampire doctor to aid them, with unheard of speed and reflexes, he would save my Bella.. Bella pulled further away, and I turned to her, catching her by the shoulder. "Where are you going?" I asked in a whisper. "To brush my teeth." She answered. My mind was racing trying to grasp what had just been learned.. "Don't worry about what she said. It's nothing but legends, old lies for the sake of entertainment." I said it as much to try to placate my fears, as hers. "I didn't understand anything." Bella replied. I was thankful that she didn't hear what Kaure had said, but I didn't believe that she hadn't understood anything, she was trying to ease my mind. My sweet, sweet, generous Bella, always putting others before herself.

"I packed your toothbrush. I'll get it for you." I said going to the bedroom to get it so we could be on our way, the sooner we left the better. We needed Carlisle. 'Are we leaving soon?' Bella asked as she walked into the bathroom to brush her teeth. "As soon as you're done." I replied wishing we were already on the way. I waited to get her tooth brush so I could take our luggage out to the boat. Bella came out and handed it to me when she was done. 'I'll get the bags into the boat." I told her, not trying to rush her.

"Edward–" she said softly. "Yes?" I said turning back to look at her. I was taken aback at the picture of her, even ill she was stunning, her shiny locks surrounding her heart shaped face, making me want to drop the luggage and to take her into my arms to make sure that she was real, and not a wonderful mirage, I was hardly able to keep myself from actually doing that. She paused for a moment watching me. Before she continued. "Could you..... pack some of the food? You know in case I get hungry again?" "Of course." I replied my voice lightening at the thought of her wanting to eat, that had to be a good sign. "Don't worry about anything. We'll get to Carlisle in just a few hours, really. This will all be over soon." Bella nodded at me, I was sure she must be thinking about what Carlisle would do. I turned and grabbed a suitcase in each hand and headed for the door, the sooner we got home the better. Carlisle would make everything alright.

Please review!


	11. Chapter 11

1**Disclaimer: I do not own twilight or any of it's characters, but I can enjoy playing with them!**

**I am excited for this chapter it is going to contain a little bit on new stuff for me. It is going into a part of the story where I get to be more creative, because it wasn't gone into in the actual story of Breaking Dawn. Please take some time to read my other story if you haven't already, and as always Review!!!**

Chapter10

I returned to the house to see if Bella was ready yet. She was still where I had left her, tears were coursing down her cheeks. "Bella" I asked in concern, "Are you okay?" I asked as I took her gently in my arms, kissing her forehead. "I will be soon." she said softly. I could tell she was as anxious to get home as I was, but I wished that I could know what was going through her mind, wanting to know if she was as hopeful as I was that Carlisle would be able to help us. I kissed her once more before going to look around the house, wanting to be sure that I hadn't forgotten anything. It was a good thing as I realized that I had forgotten my cell phone in the bathroom. I slipped it into my pocket, then went to see if Bella was ready.

We left the Island behind us as the boat plunged through the waves. Bella sat silently, a sweater pulled tightly around her, as she looked at Isle Esme receding in the distance, then she turned with a sigh. I knew she must be thinking about the time we had spent there, and wishing it had ended differently. She was silent for the rest of the ride, only speaking when I spoke to her, so I decided that she must want time to prepare herself for what was going to come. I couldn't imagine what must be going through her head, she must be petrified, her hand rarely left her stomach, and I worried about the pain she must be in.

As we neared the mainland I slowed the boat, effortlessly docking us with hardly a jostle. I didn't want Bella to feel sea sick on top of how she already felt. I picked up our luggage in one hand and offered her my other hand, she took it without a word, and I helped her up on to the dock. I had arranged a hired car to meet us at the dock, and it was already there waiting. I asked the driver to load the luggage, and I helped Bella into the car, encircling my arms around her once I slipped in beside her. She leaned against me, her head leaning back against my shoulder. I caressed her forehead with my fingers, hoping that their coolness might provide her some comfort against the heat, I could see the beads of perspiration on her forehead.

We arrived at the small airport, the plane was small, but we were the only passengers, so it was able to take off as soon as we were aboard. This plane would take us to the nearest large airport, and would not be a long flight thankfully, even though it already felt like forever. Bella seemed uncomfortable feeling the turbulence in the small craft, but this was the fastest option. 'How are you feeling Love?" I asked her. "I am alright, just impatient to get home." She answered softly, leaning into my chest, her eyes closed, as if to ward off the nausea she must be feeling. I continued to sooth her flushed body with my cool one, humming her lullaby.

After an hour we started our descent at the first large airport, Neither of us paid any attention to the location except to note that it was closer to home then we had been we would only have one more stopover in the Los Angeles before we would land in Seattle, and Carlisle was going to meet us there to drive us home. At the airport I asked Bella if she was hungry, to which she vigorously nodded. I took her to the food court and let her order anything she desired. She must have been starved as she ordered more food then I had ever seen her eat before. Bella seemed much happier, and dove into her meal. Starting with a toasted bagel with eggs and cheese. She really seemed to enjoy her eggs, I thought with a grin. The happiness was short lived as midway through her salad she stopped mid chew and clenched her hand over her mouth.

She bolted to the nearest garbage can and lost whatever sustenance she had taken in. I followed her and rubbed her back, and held her hair away from her face, counting down the time until we would be home and Carlisle could help her. After a few moments she raised her face from the waste basket. Bella's eyes searched the nearby tables, but most of the other passengers hadn't noticed her quick trip to the garbage can. One young lady looked at us with a smile on her face, she grabbed her purse and came over to us. Her thoughts were open, and she sympathized with Bella, and as she stood up the reason she felt sympathy was apparent, her belly also swelled in pregnancy, though she must have been in her third trimester.

She held out a piece of gum, and smiled at Bella, "the first five months are the worst." she said shyly. Bella took the offered gum and returned the smile back. If only this woman could understand just how different their situations were. I could hear the steady heart beats coming from the woman child, on slower and more sure, the other fast and soft. "How far along are you?" The woman asked with a smile. Bella looked at me, her mouth open in a small o. "About 4 months," I said after quickly eying Bella's abdomen. More like three week I thought. The two woman continued to talk, her name was Christine and it turned out that we were on the same flight back to the U.S.

I was thankful for the distraction that she would offer Bella for part of the journey home. While they talked I took the time to compare how drastically differof ent the two pregnancies were. Christine radiated health, as Bella normally did, but now Bella looked tired. I could see both woman subconsciously touch their stomachs with their hands, their touches soft. I turned my attention to Bella. Her hands gently caressed her rounded belly. I wished that I had been able to offer her this as a normal husband would. To give her a child that looked like her, a small Bella who would smile, with her soulful brown eyes, and who would wrap me around her fingers just like her mother. But I could not.. My spawn was growing in her womb as we spoke, it pulled whatever it wanted from her body, making her frame more slight then it already was. The fetus was growing at a phenomenal rate, and already causing her pain. I could imagine it's red eyes blazing with a monestrous hunger.

While then woman continued their banter I focused more on the sounds that went with the pregnancies. Christine's stomach moved as she sat, the soft, yet persistent thumping from her growing child was loud to my ears. I focused on Bella, she had mentioned feeling movements on the phone with Carlisle, so I watched and sure enough I detected a small flutter of moment. I almost doubted what I saw, but Bella's eyes softened and her hand moved to where I had seen the movement, rubbing the spot in soothing circles absently, and that confirmed that I indeed seen what I thought. I listened as carefully, but heard nothing from within, proof of the demon within. And once more I wished that this was something that she could be celebrating instead of us rushing home to stop whatever it was from hurting her.

We boarded the flight, and found that we were seated close to one another, the two women continuing to talk. I was glad not to have to pay attention too closely, being able to be lost in my own turbulent thoughts. I was busy calculating the wind speed and how much longer it should take the piolet to arrive if he was taking the most direct route, which it was obvious to me that he wasn't. The flight seemed to drag for me, but Bella never complained, she passed on the offer to have a meal, drinking water instead. When we finally arrived in L.A. we bid goodbye to Christina, after she gave Bella her phone number so they could talk more if she ever wanted to. We walked quickly to make our final connection, and I noticed Bella crumple up the phone number and deposit it in the nearest garbage can. I looked at her then wondering what she was thinking. 'What will I have to talk to her about?" was all she said. It was true, Christine would have a healthy baby, and my poor, sweet Bella would have nothing. Nothing to hold, nothing to comfort, nothing to fill her arms, and it was all because she had chosen me. I couldn't give her what she deserved.

The last flight went swiftly, Bella slept almost the whole way. I was getting more and more impatient by the moment, knowing that we were almost there. When we landed I awoke Bella with a soft kiss to her forehead, her eyes fluttered sleepily. "Bella, love, we're here." I whispered. Bella seemed instantly alert, she must have been even more anxious then I was. We disembarked then plane and as we went down the escalator I saw Carlisle waiting for us at the gate.

We retrieved our bags, which I would have just replaced, but I knew that Bella would have wanted, then headed for the parking area. Carlisle kept glancing at Bella, his thought were filled with worry as he took in her grey pallor. _Edward, is she feeling any better_? He asked me in his thoughts. I shook my head quickly, so Bella wouldn't realize we were talking without involving her. _Is she eating? _Again I shook my head just fast enough for him to see. _I have never heard of anything like this son. I would have warned you had I thought it a possibility but............_ Carlisle's thoughts broke off, and he shook his head, he was at a loss. _I have set up a room for her at the house, the first step will be to do an ultrasound to check on the fetus, until that is done I cannot even fathom a guess, so we will take it one step at a time. _I nodded that I understood him.

We made our way down to the parking garage, I was lost in my own thoughts as we exited the elevator to the garage level that Carlisle hadparked on. I was so focused on blocking everything else out of my mind except the task at hand, that I didn't even look up until I heard the nearby squeal of tires and the slam of a door. I looked up and saw Emmett standing with Rose beside his jeep. Rose stood there, her eyes blazing with anger, but Emmett refused to meet my gaze. "Get in Bella," was all Rose said as she glared at me and at Carlisle. I turned to Bella, my mouth opening in shock as she did exactly what Rose had asked scooting into the backseat of the Jeep. Rose got in right behind her, and wrapped her arm around Bella. Bella started sobbing into Rose's shoulder. Rose stroked her hair soothingly as she continued to glare at me. Her thoughts screamed at me, _You wont touch her Edward, do you hear me? If you know what's good for you, you will will leave us alone. I won't let you hurt her...or the baby. _ Emmett open the door and jumped in the drivers seat. "Sorry Bro..." he murmured without looking up at me. "Emmett," Rose snapped at him," Don't talk to them, take us home.... now!" Emmett threw the car into gear and zoomed off with my wife, leaving Carlisle and I standing speechless in the parking lot.

***I tried to find any info on this part , but I either missed it, or there wasn't any. Though I recalled there being something. If I messed up please let me know and I will correct the mistake. Thanks ***


	12. Chapter 13

1**Disclaimer: I do not own twilight or any of it's characters, but I can enjoy playing with them!**

**I am excited for this chapter it is going to contain a little bit on new stuff for me. It is going into a part of the story where I get to be more creative, because it wasn't gone into in the actual story of Breaking Dawn. Please take some time to read my other story if you haven't already, and as always Review!!!**

**Please note that any **_italic's _**are people thoughts directed at Edward. Hope I didn't cause any confusion.**

Lemon warning

Chapter12

Rosalie's POV

I was so deep in thought that I didn't even noticed that Bella had fallen asleep against my shoulder. Emmet cleared his throat and I looked at him. "We have company." He said looking in the rearview mirror. I glanced up seeing Carlisle car right behind us. I was not surprised, as that car was far faster then Emmett's Jeep, nor was I surprised when they didn't pass, they simply kept pace with us. _I know you can hear me Edward, I am not joking, you are not to come near her. How dare you think it was okay for you ta make a choice like that without asking her first! _I could see Edwards mouth turn downward as he heard my thoughts, and I could see him shaking his head. My vampire hearing allowed me to hear him speak from the other car. "It could kill her Rose!" He said. I could hear the emotion in his voice as he chocked on the words._ It isn't your choice to make though, if she chooses to risk her life then so be it!_

I heard Edwards growl , and I heard Emmett growl a deep chested growl in response. I leaned forward to touch his shoulder to let him know that I appreciated his show of support. "What if she dies Rose? " I couldn't help but to think for a moment what would happen to Edward, what would happen to the baby. Edward would be broken, but the baby....I could take care of the baby. "NOT LIKELY! IS THAT ALL THAT MATTERS TO YOU?" Edward roared, surprising Carlsile so much that he almost swerved, but he managed to prevent it. Emmett looked at me for a moment, "Rose what was that about?" He asked his eyes showed concern at Edward's emotional outburst. I simply shook my head in response, and cleared all thoughts of babies from the front part of my mind.

_No matter what happens Edward, you cannot make those choices for her, she had to decided, and if she decides on the baby is more important then her life, then I will support her. You and Carlisle won't lay a hand on her head if you ever want to be able to use it again, and that is a promise, not a threat._ I listened as Edward explained to Carlislewhat was going on, and he asked Carlisle to help him, Carlisle told him that he would help in any way he was able. I snarled hearing his response, causing Bella to wake up startled.

"What..."She said as she bolted upright. "It's nothing Bella, everything is alright." I said as soothingly as possible. She must feel so confused right now. I was not going to add to her stress, that would be worse for her, and for the baby. Why couldn't Edward see that this was one of those things that he couldn't control? I glanced outside and saw that we were almost to Forks. The weather was the usual overcast grey that made it easier for our family to live here and seem like other people. We pulled slowed down to pull into the long drive. And as we pulled into the yard everyone was waiting on the front porch. Emmett and I jumped out as Edward and Carlisle did the same. I stepped protectively in front of Bella as I helped her out of the car.

Edward sped towards us, "Bella..." He started but she held up her hand. "Edward don't." She said quietly. Her hands covered her abdomen protectively as he approached her. "You didn't even bother to ask me how I felt about this. This is our baby, mine and yours. I love you Edward, with all of my heart, but I love our baby too, and I wont let anyone take it away from us. I am strong enough to carry this baby Edward, but you need to give me that choice, not to make it for me." Bella spoke fiercely, and even though she looked tired and worn out, he eyes shone with determination, and a hint of tears.

"Why don't we go up and have a look to know more about this before anyone makes any rash decisions?" Emse looked on her shoulders set firmly, her mouth drawn tightly from all of conflict. Jasper was trying to send waves of calm over the whole family to sooth the turmoil that was effecting everyone's nerves, and I fought to keep the edge of my anger, so I would be able to keep Bella safe in need be. Bella glanced at Edward, and he nodded his consent. Carlisle then led the way into the house and upstairs to a room he had set up after speaking with Edward earlier.

A quick glance around the room revealed a vast array of machines, what they were for was beyond me. Carlisle asked Bella to lay down on the bed, and he pulled forward a machine that looked like a small television. It had a small coiled cord that attached to a spherical wand on the end, that widened into a half circle. Bella laid back on the bed and Edward stepped closer to her. I growled at him, and moved forward to intercept him, blocking his way to her. "Rose it's okay, he won't hurt me, let him closer..please." Said Bella softly. I moved back, but not without a parting shot at my brother. _One false move Edward, that's all it will take...._. Edward bared his teeth at me as I stepped back. I moved around the bed, and sat by Bella's side.

Edward held her hand, smoothing her hair back from her face, and leaned in to kiss her temple. His eyes moved from Bella's face to Carlisle's machine and back again. "Okay Bella, I need you to pull up your shirt, just enough so I can look at your stomach. Bella's face flushed red, but she did as she was asked. As she pulled back the fabric of her shirt, I stopped breathing from the shock. Her belly was rounded out between her hips, the bulge from the baby more noticeable that I had thought. Her skin was pulled tightly over the protrusion, as if it was trying to grow before our eyes. As we all watched silently waiting for Carlisle to turn the machine on, and for it to warm up, Bella's stomach pulsed, and her hand flew to it, to rub soothing circles where the baby had moved. "It's okay little nudger..." she softly crooned. Edward looked at her, then looked away, his face showing none of the love that she was feeling for this life that was growing within her. I looked at Bella and wished that I was her, I would be strong enough to carry this child. I deserved a child of my own, but since I couldn't then maybe I could help Bella. I would do everything I could to help her and if things didn't work out I could raise the baby for her. The thought of mothering a little baby made me smile. "ROSE!" Edward thundered. "That is enough!" He hissed at me. Too quickly for human ears I heard him mumble, "I will never allow that to happen, I wont loose her!"

Carlisle interrupted us. "Alright Bella, this is going to feel a bit cold, but only for a moment," Bella nodded as she watched. Carlisle took a bottle and her squeezed out a clear jelly onto Bella's rounded belly. Then her took the wand and gently pressed the wide end of it into the jelly and spread it around her belly. The small screen lit up and Carlisle tried to explain what we were seeing. All that I could make out was a rounded area filled with darkness. I noticed Edward turn to Carlisle, "What does that mean Carlisle?" He asked his voice held an edge of panic. Carlisle took a breath and pointed to the light area of the screen. "This lighter area is the cavity inside of Bella's stomach, and this dark area," he said gesturing to the formless void on the screen, "is the baby..." I turned back to look at the screen, I didn't see a baby, all I saw was nothingness.

"Carlisle shouldn't it show more then that?" Bella asked her voice giving away the concern she must be feeling. Carlisle looked weary as he ran his hand through his hair. "It should Bella, but what you are seeing is actually only the embryonic sac, the baby is in there, but we can't see it. Would you mind if I performed an examination?" Bella simply nodded. "Why can't you see it Carlisle? "I asked him Edward looked even more horror struck, and I wondered what Carlisle was thinking to make him even more fearful. "I'm not sure Rosalie," he said "But then what can we be sure about with this situation. I have never , in all of my years, heard about anything like this." Bella listened to our words, but she seemed more focused on her belly, which kept jumping. "Ow!" Bella exclaimed as the baby gave an extra strong kick. I could see the movement of it pushing out against her skin. Before our eyes a purple bruise started to spread out the lower right side of her swollen belly. Bella sucked back a quick intake of breath as she rubbed her tender side.

"That was a strong one!" She said in a good natured grumble. Edward closed his eyes, and pinched the bridge of his nose with the fingers of the hand that wasn't holding onto Bella. Carlisle wiped the gel off of Bella's belly and he started to examine her, palpitating her belly gently with her fingers, he forehead furrowed, and he gently pressed in circles that went around her belly, making them larger and larger as her worked outwards from her belly he got out a stethoscope and placed it against her belly. Esme looked at him, "Carlisle, is that necessary?" Carlisle held up his finger momentarily. Then motioned for Esme to come closer. He removed the stethoscope. "Humans can hear better with these so I figured it couldn't hurt my hearing either. Here listen , what do you hear?" Esme leaned closer to Bella's belly, we all did, but not a sound was heard. "Now try," he said handing her the instrument, as long as Bella does not mind. "No, I don't mind Emse." Bella said watching Esme come closer.

Esme put the stethoscope to Bella's bump, and put the piece to her ear and listened. Esme looked up and shook her head, "Still nothing." she said looking at Carlisle. "I know," he responded, "nothing, nothing at all." And this could only incrase the ability that we already hahave, but there is still just nothing. However it is obvious that the child grows, and lives." he said as Bella stomach moved again. "The only thing that I can tell, is that the embryonic sac is extremely strong, and that must be protecting the baby. That sac is keeping the baby hidden from the ultra sound, it is almost like rock....or vampire skin...." I was quite enthralled with Carlisle trying piece together what was going on, but realized that he was as unsure as the rest of us with what was going on.

Edward spoke up then. "But what about the growth rate Carlisle? The fetus is growing too fast, it could kill her." Carlisle nodded, then turned to Bella. Bella you need to think about this. This pregnancy could endanger your life, or even kill you, we do not know what to expect. It would probably be best to terminate the pregnancy......." His voice softened as he spoke. Anger boiled through me Edward looked at Bella, his eyes pleading her to make the choice that would keep her safe, but Bella's eyes turned from him. "I won't kill our baby." She said, "Even if bringing this baby into the world is the last thing I get to do.....I will do everything within my power to make it happen. I can't not give this child the chance to live." She looked at Edward, her eyes were pleading with him to understand why she had to make this decision.

"I support Bella's choice!" I said loudly. I angrily eyed Edward daring him to challenge me. "As do I."Esme said quietly. Edward turned to her in horror, his mouth open. "Edward dear, there is nothing I wouldn't do if I could get back the child I lost. I'm sorry, but Bella deserves to have this child if she so wishes." Edward glanced at Alice. Who shrugged her shoulder's as she leaned further into Jasper's side. "I can't see anything Edward. Nothing at all." Poor Alice, she looked so helpless. I know how much she wanted to help by letting us know what we could expect, but she was unable, and she was feeling the strain almost as much as Jasper. The two excused themselves, and left the room, then leaving the house only moments later, probably trying to distance themselves from the emotions and stress that was brewing.

"Edward, I am willing to help, but I will not go against Bella's wishes, or Esme's," Carlisle added so quietly that I almost missed it. I saw Emse look down bashfully, I knew that she had heard his words. Emmett spoke up, "I love you Bro, but I am not going against my wife either, even if I understand how you feel." He turned to me and put a protective hand on my waist. He knew that I was not leaving her side. Bella pulled her shirt back down over her belly. "Edward", she said softly, "I'm hungry would you mind making me something to eat?" "Of course my love." Edward responded. "Eggs?" Bella nodded with a smile. Edward kissed her once more, then quickly left the room. Esme and I helped Bella up out of the bed, then down stairs, her smile had vanished with Edward's departure. Emmett came up and swept her right off her feet, carrying her down the stairs swiftly. "You are in bad enough shape now , I am not going to have you fall down the stairs to make things worse,!" He said with a goofy grin. Bella laughed, as did I . I love him, he was such a goof, but he never failed to make people smile.

Emmett set Bella down on the couch, and Esme got her blankets and a pillow, to help her feel more comfortable. Bella got cozy on the couch, and I sat protectively beside her. I could hear Edward talking quietly with Carlisle in the kitchen as he made some foul smelling eggs. I was thankful that I wasn't the one who would be eating them, but they would be good for Bella. Edward and Carlisle were talking about Bella's inability to keep food down. That would be a problem, babies need food to grow, I was going to have to monitor what Bella ate from now on.

Later on Esme came to sit with Bella, so Em and I could have some alone time, she knew how agitated I was. As soon as we got into our bedroom, Emmett was at my side. "Rosie, are you okay ?" He asked. I was not okay, this was bringing back to many memories, memories that I had pushed away over the years , but that always seemed to resurface. Emmett pulled me into his embrace, and simply held me. His arms wrapped around me like a protective shell trying to keep everything else out. But the memories still seeped forth. The want to have a baby, and a family like my best friend. The desire to be a wife and mother. The dream that was wiped away as my pervert of a fiancé raped me. The hurt and pain as his friends used me, and hurt me and left me to die on the curbside.

Emmet could feel the tearless sobs rack through my body as I let the pain of my past wash over me. His grip tightened as he picked me up and carried me to our bed. This was a side of me that I refused to show our family, I was too ashamed, but Emmett was apart of me, and he was the only one who could help pull me from my pain. He sat down and drew me onto his lap, curling his finger into my hair. He whispered over and over into my ear, "I am here Rose, noone will ever hurt you again, I will keep you safe. I love you." With each I love you the pain eased away a bit more, like the tide, receding leaving the sand clean once more. Taking all of the discourse with it. And soon all that was left was my strong handsome husband holding me tight in his arms, telling me he loved me.

I responded to that love as I always did. I crushed my lips to his, never able to get close enough. The clothing he wore was shredded from his body in my lustful attack. Emmett would respond in kind, knowing that I needed him to show me how much he loved me. This was how houses got destroyed, and walls turned to rubble. But tonight all that mattered was the man in my arms, who kept the pain at bay form my heart. Emmett pulled me to him, his penis stood strait at attention, showing how much he wanted me. I straddled him and opened my soft folds over the tip of his shaft, he moaned as I slid down over his length. I took him in as far as my body allowed, slamming his full length against my inner walls. Emmett didn't stand a chance as I moved on him. Gyrating my hips into his groin pushing harder and faster each time I slid his penis slightly out, then grinding him into me again. His hands cupped my breasts. He circled my nipples with his fingers, and I felt them respond to him, hardening under his touch.. Emmett, moved his hands around to my bottom, squeezing my cheeks as he felt my movements. I moved harder then as I felt a tingling heat starting inside my most sacred place, and as I moved against my husband I felt it blossom into a raging fire. I slammed my body against Emmett's as I felt the intensity of the orgasm over take me, and I threw back my head as I screamed his name "Emm...Em... .. Emmmmettttttt!

Emmett turned me over and he continued the deep thrusting into my already quivering vagina, pulling my body up to meet his. "Hmm Rose..." He gasped between thrusts. Emmett raised my leg so it was over his muscular shoulder, and he continued thrusting, panting my name now, as each thrust brought him as deep as possible into my body. He moved at full speed, thrusting, and with one hand he reached up and started to stroke my clit. The heat returned full force, as an explosion between my legs, and I raised my hips to him as I felt his hands clench against my body. He moaned out my name, "Rooosssseeeeee....." and his penis pulsed and exploded inside me, causing me to fall over the edge of my second orgasm.

I pulled my amazing husband down to me and kissed him deeply. I was amazed that I had found the one being that could make me feel so special, forsaking all others. I snuggled into his chest, as he laid beside me. And once again he said those words that made me whole. "I am here Rose, noone will ever hurt you again, I will keep you safe. I love you."

Please spread the love people review if you want a lemon in the next chapter, the longer the review, the more lemony it will be.

LOL


	13. Chapter 14

1Isle Esme

Chapter 13

**A/N Just wanted to throw in the quote from Les Miserables. I felt it fit in with Edward and Bella's love story.**

Had you been there tonight,You might know how it feels  
To be struck to the bone,In a moment of breathless delight!  
Had you been there tonight,You might also have known  
How the world may be changed, In just one burst of light!  
And what was right  
Seems wrong  
And what was wrong  
Seems right...

Red...I feel my soul on fire!  
Black...My world if she's not there...  
Red...The color of desire!  
Black..The color of despair!

Edwards POV

I had been so focused on getting Bella into the car and getting things home, that I had been completely shocked when Emmett had abruptly pulled up and Rosalie had gotten out of the car. Nothing could have prepared me for what was about to happen. Rosalie told Bella to get in the Jeep and Bella did so without question, with Rosalie climbing in right behind her as she wrapped Bella in her arms like a child. I looked at Bella as if she might be able to clarify what was going on, but she didn't, or wouldn't meet my eyes with hers. I could see her eyes pool with teas as they slipped through her thick lashes, her brown eyes revealed deep pools of despair.

Emmett's thoughts were subdued, and sympathetic, but Rosalie screamed at me with hers. She yelled at me and berated me for how I had treated Bella. What was she talking about. All I could think about was what I might have done. Then Rosalie started hurling thoughts at me about how she would hurt me if I tried to harm the baby, or Bella. I would never hurt Bella, that was what I was trying to prevent. What had I done to hurt her, had I done something that I hadn't realized? Could she forgive me if I had done something that I was unaware of? Bella was my life and that was why we had rushed home, so Carlisle could save her. Emmett had apologized, but I wasn't sure why he was. Then they squealed away in the Jeep, movving so fast, that they actually left rubber on the ground. I finished throwing the luggage into the trunk, and jumped into the car.

I asked Carlisle to catch up with the Jeep, Carlisle's car was far superior to Emmett's Jeep, even with the extras that Rosalie had added to it over the years, and as much as it was perfect for offroading, it was no match for the speed of Carlisle's high end car. I heard Emmet inform Rosalie that we had caught up, and Rose began to yell at me through her thoughts again. _ I know you can hear me Edward, I am not joking, you are not to come near her. How dare you think it was okay for you ta make a choice like that without asking her first! _I frowned as I heard her thoughts. Hadn't I asked her? I had thought that Bella had felt the same way that I had. I ran over our conversations, trying to think about what had been spoken about regarding the baby....and I realized that Rosalie was right, I hadn't even had the decency to ask Bella to tell me how she was feeling. I had been selfish, only worried about what I wanted. But surely Bella would not risk her life for a child that was likely to be some sort of monster, or would she?

"It could kill her Rose!" I said between clenched teeth knowing that she could hear me from the other car. ._ It isn't your choice to make though, if she chooses to risk her life then so be it! _A growl escaped from my throat_, _and I heard Emmett growl in response to mine. "What if she dies Rose?" I asked, hoping that she could put herself in my place. I should have realized that she would be unable to do so. I could hear Rosalie's thoughts as they thought about that scenario. She imagined me, and how broken I would be. In her mind she saw me devastated, an image of myself I hoped would never come into being. Then she saw the baby, a small helpless bundle, with no mother and a broken father. When I saw her picturing herself taking Bella's place as the baby's care giver, I screamed at her, "NOT LIKELY! IS THAT ALL THAT MATTERS TO YOU?"

My outburst was so unexpected that Carlisle actually swerved in his lane. I was thankful for his vampire reflexes as he regained control of the vehicle in an instant. Carlisle looked at me with sorrowful eyes, he was used to me having one sided conversations, but he would not get involved with anything without me inviting him into it. I explained what I had just seen in Rosalie's mind. How she was going to protect Bella and the baby from the two of us, no matter the cost to Bella. I kept the sickening images of her cradling the newest addition to our family in my wife's place to myself. Carlisle told me he would help however he could, and I heard Rose snarl from the other car. I also heard my beloved speak in a mumbled voice, that sounded thick with sleep.

I could hear as Rose soothed her telling her that everything was alright, and I was filled with anger. I should be the one holding Bella, comforting her. We were almost back to forks now. As we arrived we pulled in slowly pulled up the long drive. I was out of our car before it had even come to a complete stop. I ran to the Jeep where Rosalie was helping Bella out. "Bella.." I started but she cut me off by holding up her hand. "Edward don't." She said softly. Her hands wrapped over her abdomen protectively as I got closer to her. "You didn't even bother to ask me how I felt about this. This is our baby, mine and yours. I love you Edward, with all of my heart, but I love our baby too, and I wont let anyone take it away from us. I am strong enough to carry this baby Edward, but you need to give me that choice, not to make it for me." Bella said, her voice was full of steely determination. Rose stared at me over Bella's shoulder with a smirk on her face, I was tempted to wipe it off, but I was a gentleman.

"Why don't we go up and have a look to know more about this before anyone makes any rash decisions?" Carlisle said softly. I could feel the distressed thoughts coming from Esme, her mouth was set in a tight thin line. She was upset for all of us, upset for Bella having to be fearful for her child, for me for having to worry about Bella, for Carlisle for having to worry about his children, and for Rosalie to have to face the things she wanted but never had. Beneath it all she was sad for herself, for the loss of her only biological child, and for the horrendous grief that it brought to her life. I hated to see her suffer so, but I was not able to worry for her now, All I could worry about was Bella. I could feel Jasper trying to calm everyone down, but I was too upset to be effected much by him.

Bella looked at me, her eyes were much calmer now that she had voiced her feelings. She seemed to be waiting for me to respond, wanting me to be apart of every choice, something I hadn't done for her. I nodded, what harm can come from taking a look I thought to myself. We followed Carlisle upstairs and into a room that was set up as a labor and delivery room. I recognized most of the machines from my studies from med school. Carlisle asked Bella to lay down on the examination table, and he drew the ultrasound machine over towards her. I instinctively moved closer to her, but Rosalie blocked my path . "Rose it's okay, he won't hurt me, let him closer..please." Bella said quietly. Rose moved back warily eyeing my proximity to my wife, as if she thought I would rip the child from Bella's womb against her will. _One false move Edward, that's all it will take....she warned. _I bared my teeth at her, showing my annoyance, but she didn't falter, even as she moved around to the other side of the bed to sit by Bella.

I picked up her small warm hand, holding it delicately in my large, cold one. I reached out with my other hand to tuck a few strands of hair behind her ears. I leaned down to kiss her forehead, as much to try and sooth my nerves as to sooth hers. "Okay Bella, I need you to pull up your shirt, just enough so I can look at your stomach." Bella's cheeks flooded with blood at having to show apart of herself in front of others that she was less then comfortable with. As she pulled back the loose fabric I could see that her stomach was even more rounded now, more pronounced then only hours ago. Carlisle turned the machine on, and it quickly warmed up.

As we waited for it to be ready Bella's stomach moved, and her hand flew to it, to rub soothing circles where the movement had occurred. "It's okay little nudger..." she softly, her eyes glowed, and her voice held a timbre that I knew was unconditional love. I looked at her, then looked away, I knew that I did not feel the same about this intruder in her body as she did. I got distracted as I heard Rose thinking about how she wished it was her, and what a good mother she would be, she continued thinking about how willing she would be to step in if Bella was unable to fulfill here role as mother. ROSE! That is enough!" I hissed at her. I was careful to be too quiet for Bella to hear, I didn't want her more stressed then she already was "I will never allow that to happen, I won't loose her!" I said my voice shaking as I thought of the possibility.

Carlisle interjected then as he continued talking to Bella, trying to act as if the two of us weren't having a fight under her nose.. "Alright Bella, this is going to feel a bit cold, but only for a moment," Bella nodded her understanding. He squeezed some of the clear gel onto Bella's stomach, then used the sensor to spread it around as he searched for an image, or a heartbeat. But all that could be seen was a darkened mass surrounded by a light walls of Bella's uterus. "What does that mean Carlisle?" I asked hi know my voice held an edge of panic. Carlisle took a breath and pointed to the light area of the screen. "This lighter area is the cavity inside of Bella's stomach, and this dark area," he said gesturing to the dark mass on the scree. I knew that this was abnormal, a normal ultrasound showed shapes and movements. Not just a void of space.

"Carlisle shouldn't it show more then that?" Bella asked in a shaky voice. Carlisle looked weary as he ran his hand through his hair. "It should Bella, but what you are seeing is actually only the embryonic sac, the baby is in there, but we can't see it. Would you mind if I performed an examination?" Bella nodded in reply. "Why can't you see it Carlisle?" Rosalie asked Carlisle, and my eyes widened as I heard him think to himself _I wish I knew......_ "I'm not sure Rosalie," he said aloud "But then what can we be sure about with this situation. I have never , in all of my years, heard about anything like this." Bella watched her abdomen, which kept pulsing. "Ow!" Bella said as the baby gave an extra strong kick. The movement of it pushing out against her skin was easy to see and before my eyes a massive bruise spread out from the point of impact on her lower right side. Bella sucked back a quick intake of breath as she rubbed her tender side gently. What was that thing doing to her?

"That was a strong one!" She said with a tenuous smile. I closed my eyes, and pinched the bridge of my nose with my fingers. Carlisle wiped the gel off of Bella's belly and he started to examine her, palpitating her belly gently with her fingers, he forehead furrowed, and he gently pressed in circles that went around her belly, making them larger and larger as her worked outwards from her belly button. Then he got out a stethoscope and placed it against her belly. "Carlisle, is that necessary?" Esme asked him. Internally she was wondering what good that could do when his ears were better then human ears. Carlisle held up his finger as if to ask Esme to bear with him a moment. Then he curled his finger towards his body repeatedly gesturing her forward. "Humans can hear better with these so I figured it couldn't hurt my hearing either. Here listen, what do you hear?" Esme leaned closer to Bella's belly, we all did the same, listening intently, but I didn't hear a thing, and everyone else's minds confirmed the same.. "Now try, this" he said handing Esme the stethescope, "as long as Bella does not mind". "No, I don't mind Emse." Bella said watching Esme come closer.

Esme put the stethoscope to Bella's bump, and put the piece to her ear and listened. I felt her hopes rise at the thought of hearing the baby, and then her disappointment at hearing nothing. Esme looked up and shook her head, "Still nothing." she said looking at Carlisle. "I know," he responded, "nothing, nothing at all. And this could only increase the ability that we already have, but there is still just nothing. However it is obvious that the child grows, and lives." he said looking at Bella's moving belly. "The only thing that I can tell, is that the embryonic sac is extremely strong, and that must be protecting the baby. That sac is keeping the baby hidden from the ultra sound, it is almost like rock....or vampire skin.."

I could sense Carlisle's thoughts as the idea came to him. _I know that ultrasounds don't work through vampire skin, the things you do when your bored at the hospital....._"But what about the growth rate Carlisle? The fetus is growing too fast, it could kill her." I said, my voice came out almost as a whimper. Carlisle nodded, then turned to Bella. "Bella you need to think about this. This pregnancy could endanger your life, or even kill you, we do not know what to expect. It would probably be best to terminate the pregnancy......." I looked at Bella, I wanted her to make the choice that would keep her safe, to realize that she was the most precious thing in the universe, but Bella turned away form my searching glance. "I won't kill our baby." She said, "Even if bringing this baby into the world is the last thing I get to do.....I will do everything within my power to make it happen. I can't not give this child the chance to live." Bella looked back at me her eyes begging me to understand that there was no choice to make, she was going to go through with it.

"I support Bella's choice!" Rose said as she looked at me with a deathly glare. _I am sorry Edward , but I have to agree with Bella...._ "Esme thought just before she added, "As do I." Esme looked at me and spoke as gently as she could, ignoring the fact that my mouth hung open in horror. "Edward dear, there is nothing I wouldn't do if I could get back the child I lost. I'm sorry, but Bella deserves to have this child if she so wishes." I turned to look at Alice. She shrugged her shoulders as she leaned against Jazz. "I can't see anything Edward. Nothing at all." _I'm sorry Edward I keep looking, but I can't make out anything, you know I would tell you if I could.....but I...I.....I can't........there's just nothing._ Poor Alice, She turned her face into Jasper's chest, but that couldn't hide her self hateful thoughts at being unable to tell us what we so desperately wanted to know. Jasper looked at me then, his eyes looked worn,_ Edward I am going to take her out, she....we... both need to get away from here just for a little while.... _I nodded that I understood, and the two quietly excused themselves from the room, and left the house moments later.

"Edward, I am willing to help, but I will not go against Bella's wishes, or Esme's," Carlisle said in a hushed voice. I could feel Esme's thought of love towards him. _Edward,_ I heard Emmett think,_ I would feel the same way that you do if it was Rose, but I can't not go against her.... no hard feelings okay? _Then he spoke aloud "I love you Bro, but I am not going against my wife either, even if I understand how you feel." Bella smoothed her shirt back in place. "Edward", she said softly, "I'm hungry would you mind making me something to eat?" "Of course my love." I responded in an instant. "Eggs?" I asked, thankful that she was hungry even if it was only for the moment. Bella nodded as she smiled at me. I kissed her once more, hoping that in that small touch that she would feel all my love, all my desire, and all of my hope in that one simple touch. Then I headed down to the kitchen to make her some eggs, hoping that she would be able to keep it down.


	14. Chapter 15

1Isle Esme

Chapter 1

**A/N I put a great deal of time into these stories, and as of late I have been feeling that I am getting very little response by way of reviews. This chapter will be short and sweet, and I would really appreciate some heart felt reviews on it. Thanks**

**Edwards POV**

I worked on making Bella some eggs in the kitchen, listening quietly as Emmett brought her downstairs. I was upset that I was not the one holding her in my arms, feeling her heartbeat against my solid chest. I heard her settle on the couch, only half listening as Carlisle came in and started talking to me. I only focused more as I heard Emmett and Rosalie drift upstairs, leaving Bella in the living room with Esme. I turned to Carlisle, wanting him to at least think that I was paying attention to him.It was only when I realized that he was talking about Bella that I truly focused on what he was saying.

"How has she been eating Edward, really I want to know?" He asked, he was concerned for her. "Hardly anything Carlisle, eggs seem to be the one thing that she is able to keep down, and even that is getting worse......" I said dropping my words low so Bella wouldn't hear. Carlisle nodded. "We should try to get her on some intravenous fluids, maybe that will help." He said. I nodded, agreeing that they could only help, but not sure if they actually would. I worked on the eggs, trying to make them appealing, and being thankful for the time I spent watching the food network before the honeymoon so I could cook for her, as I had no idea what I was doing. I was however an expert at being able to follow instructions to a tee. Bella seemed to like what I made, though from the smell I had no idea why. I took the eggs to her in the living room, and gave them to her. She accepted them with a smile. "Thank you Edward." Esme and I watched her as she ate, however she only got a few bites in before her eating slowed then stopped. Bella's hand gripped the fork, and she looked positively green for a moment before she eased her grasp on the utensil.

I was worried for a moment that Bella would be ill, but thankfully it seemed to pass,

Bella however was finished trying to eat. I stroked her brow stopping only when I realized that she was almost shivering. I ran upstairs and grabbed numerous blankets, and down comforters. I brought them down to her, and I wrapped her up. She started to protest that she didn't need them, but as her teeth started to chatter, she gave up realizing that I was not going to believe her. After she was wrapped up cozily, I went to make her a warm drink. Bella smiled at me as I handed it to her. "Thank you, I guess I didn't realize how cold I was." She said sheepishly. Her color was starting to return now, and I could hear the relief in Esme's thoughts _she looks much better then she did a moment ago Edward, but still not like she should... _I didn't need to be reminded of how different Bella looked, her cheeks were drawn, her color was paler then normal_. _If I couldn't hear the steady beat of her heart, I would be too busy focusing on all of the frightening changes to her physical appearance.

I looked at Bella, looking for a sign that there might be a way through this, looking at her, seeing only her weakening human frame. I was reminded again of how little I deserved her. This woman had given herself to me, not just given herself, she had bound herself to me for life. I did not deserve her, not her body, or her undying devotion. Bella interrupted the downward spiral of my thoughts, "Edward?" I turned to her, and she reached out to me, she pulled my head against her chest, holding me close, the sound of her heartbeat drowned out almost everything else as I focused on it's hypnotizing pulse. "I love you," she said softly, "But I know what your doing, and I want you to stop right now." Her voice was firm, and strong, almost beguiling me to believe it's power, more then the image of her thin, weakening body that was pressed against me. I forced myself to pull away from her, to look at her, and as I glanced at her soft brown eyes, I saw the flint hard determination staring back at me. "I don't know what..." I started to say, but Bella placed a finger against my lips to silence my words. "Edward Anthony Mason Cullen, don't think that I don't know that you are blaming yourself for this, no one is at fault! I wish you would see this for the wondrous miracle that it is. This was something we never thought..., never dreamed would be possible for us, and here it is, a reality! So stop the self loathing, the tormented thoughts. Stop blaming yourself for something that was created from our love, there is no blame here." Her tone did not invite me to respond, it was a closed topic, not open for debate. I would never be able to change how I thought about this. How was this supposed to be a miracle when it might kill Bella in the end? She was my miracle, the love I had waited for through almost a hundred years. A human who loved a vampire. My singer, whose heart called more strongly to me then her terribly potent blood. She was the miracle, this was a..a curse if anything, a curse of death.

Bella sighed loudly, and Esme said, "Bella, asking Edward to cease his self loathing, would be like asking the earth to stop moving." I looked at Esme, and she had a half smile on her face, but Bella smiled fully. Anything that could make her smile was worth it. A short time Later Bella was sleeping, Esme hoovered nearby, and I could hear sounds coming from Emmett and Rosalie's room that I did not wish to be aware of. Esme looked at me, "Edward dear you look awful, your eyes are so dark, you need to go and hunt. Bella will be fine here, I will watch over her, but you need to keep your strength up... do it son, for Bella's sake." I was ready to argue, until she said to do it for Bella. I could not argue with that, I had to stay strong for her. "I will, but I won't go far from home. I will be back as soon as I can." As much as it hurt to leave her, I had to do it, to stay strong for her, and I really didn't want to see the images that were coming from upstairs.

I ran out the front door, leaping from the porch, and running from the second that my feet graced the soil. I moved quickly, wanting to hunt and quickly return to Bella. I inhaled as I ran, taking in the scents around me, and sorting them out. Rabbit,...to small....racoon,...to gamey.... deer, that would work. I raced in the direction of the smell, flying past trees and bushes, recalling how it felt when I carried Bella on my back, moving at this speed. Remembering how dizzy she had felt the first time I had carried her on the way home from the meadow. Remembering our first kiss...remembering how Bella had reacted to our first kiss. Thinking back I recalled how tentative I had been to try to kiss her. I had thought about it for the longest time, finally being able to resist her pull no longer I had asked her not to move, telling her that I wanted to try something. When my ice cold lips had pressed against her warm, soft, delectable ones I had been overwhelmed by the emotions that had boiled up inside me. What I hadn't prepared myself for was hers.

Bella had wrapped her arms around me, and moved her lips hard against mine, her breath had come in gasps, and her heart rate had double in an instant as she grasped my hair in her fists. It had taken everything I had to stop myself from ripping her clothing from her body, and to claim her whole being as mine. I had forced myself not to respond as her body called to mine. I was thankful that had been so long ago, knowing now as I did the pleasure that had awaited me, I was glad that I had chosen wisely. Pulling myself back to the moment, I was aware of a discomfort. The throbbing against my leg from thinking about my love, was not surprising. The simplest thought of Bella and what she could do to my body made me react with need. I stopped running, and closed my eyes. I didn't need to be a vampire to remember every contour of her skin, to feel how my body reacted to her soft fingers moving over my chest as she traced the muscles down over my abdomen, moving lower. My imagination took over then. Bella's beautiful body appeared in my mind, encased in fragile pieces of lace, lace the showed the glow from the hidden flesh beneath.

I ran my fingers through her hair, her soft tresses flowing over my cool fingers like silk. I felt her shiver from desire as I moved my hands to pull the thin straps from her shoulders, moving them down over her shoulders and continuing the journey until the soft mounds of her breasts were revealed to me. My Bella threw her head back revealing her throat to me, but her breasts called out to be touched, and I had to answer them. I traced the contours of her soft skin with my hands, cupping them softly, lowering my head to taste her nipples. As I took her nipples in my mouth then hardened instantly, and she moaned, pushing them roughly against me. I could feel the throbbing in between my legs increase at her sounds, wanting to pull her body to mine. Bella moved her body, her legs spreading wider as she leaned against me. I could feel and smell her desire for me, and it drove me insane with pleasure.

As I pulled her against me I could feel the heat of her skin warming mine. Her lips traced my jaw line, and her finger moved from my chest, over my shoulders. Her fingers tried to dig into my skin, and though they did not find purchase the feeling only excited me further. Her hands made their way into my hair, tugging and pulling as she moved herself against me, increasing the friction between us. I could feel the pulsing between my legs building and building. I wrapped my hands into the lace, fisting it in my fingers, with each pulse of desire. I pulled her closer, inhaling her smell, there was nothing in the whole world that smell as good as her, her arousal was better then her blood, directing me to her center.

I moved her pulling her legs so they straddled my hips, and she wrapped her legs around me, opening her soft pink flower-like folds to me. I moved myself to her, pressing my manhood against her, the tip pulsing as it strained for entry. She moaned my name, begging for me to make us one. I could hold back no longer, and ever so slowly I pushed myself into her heat, feeling her muscles tighten convulsively around me. I moved in and out, never fully withdrawing myself from her. With each moan I moved a little harder, feeling her body react to the friction against the little nub of nerves that hardened with each stroke I took. I held her body firmly to mine, grasping her rounded buttocks with my hands, and feeling her breasts against my chest. I could feel the constricting of her walls around me as her climax neared, and her sounds increased. I throbbed inside her feeling myself climbing to my own climax. I felt her body shudder against mine as her body was overcome with the waves of her orgasm, it was so powerful that it almost took me with it.

I kept thrusting watching her body move, feeling her nipples graze against my chest. I increased my pace, tilting her hips, so she would feel the friction. I growled deep in my chest as The tingling of climax came closer and closer. I was just about to fall over the edge when I felt Bella's walls spasm, signally a second orgasm, and with that I thrust myself into her deeply, and we rode out our climax together, wrapped in one another's arms.

I enjoyed the glow of our union, glad that the tension had eased between my legs, until the reality dawned back on me. I was not with Bella, I was in the woods, hunting, and now I was in need of a shower and a change of clothes, how embarrassing. I don't think I have never been more thankful for our "wear once" clothing habit, I would have to dispose of these discreetly. I quickly threw myself back into hunting. I didn't want to but if I returned without having hunted, I would only have to leave Bella again sooner, rather then later. I didn't want to leave her side ever again if I could help it. The need to be with her, to hold her was suddenly overwhelming. I raced towards the deer, who had drifted further away, closing the space in seconds. I threw myself at the poor creature, who froze, it didn't even have time to react to my presence. I sank my teeth into it's neck and drained it quickly. It's body went slack in my arms. I buried it as quickly as possible, then raced back to home, wanting to shower and change before anyone saw me.

I was thankful that the window to mine and Bella's room was open making it unnecessary for me to have to go through the house. I jumped through the window, and stripped off my ruined clothes, still embarrassed at having been so lost in my fantasy that I had an orgasm in my own clothes. I showered quickly, and dried myself off with a towel. I disposed of my ruined clothes, then grabbed clean clothes to wear. I raced downstairs to Bella, happy to be close to her once more.


	15. Chapter 16

1Chapter 15

**A/N the reviews that I got were so sweet. They really made me want to respond by giving you another chapter.** **Please keep up the reviews**, **they are the what keeps me going**.

**I have two other story ideas that I am working on, but I will only start them after one of these is completed.** **Please read my other story, Uncertian beginnings, it is the story Of Nahuel, Hulien and Joham I have been told some good things by reviewers.**

**Edwards P.O.V**

I raced downstairs, my need to see Bella was greater then it had ever been. I needed to touch her skin, to hear her heartbeat, to see her skin flush with blood, to remind myself of how real she truly is. I raced down, my pace increasing with each step, knowing that they took me nearer to my love. It was only seconds, and yet it felt like an eternity, until my eyes took in her still form upon the couch. I could feel the beginnings of alarm start to come over me until Esme whispered quietly, "She's just sleeping Edward, I know she looks bad though."

I looked at Bella, noticing that Carlisle had started her on an intravenous drip while I was out. The clear fluid slowly flowed drop by drop from a large bag, then continued down a tube into a small needle that was taped to her hand. Her skin looked bruised around the needle site. I couldn't have imagined it possible for Bella to look more fragile then she already did, but her she was proving me wrong once again, it seemed to be one of her talents.

I sat beside her, stroking her cheekbone with my fingertips, happy no notice that at the very least her temperature had increased, and she seemed warm enough. I wanted to hold her close, to cradle her against the protective curve of my body, but I was worried that the coolness of my touch would make her start to shiver again. So I settled for sitting beside her, stroking her hair, only allowing myself the occasional pleasure of touching her skin directly. Soon enough though I was rewarded with a glimpse of her chocolate brown eyes as she blinked sleepily. Bella smiled as her eyes focused and she saw me next to her, and I wondered how many more times I would have the chance to see her this way. I had to focus on the now, If I was going to keep any semblance of sanity through this.

"Edward..." Bella asked softly as she stretched out her body, trying to ease her muscles. "Yes love?" I responded quickly. Bella chewed on her lower lip for a moment, I knew that she was going to say something that she was worried would upset me, so I waited for her to continue. "I , ummm..I want to call Charlie. I want to let him know that I am home. I know that we have to get him prepared for the worst, but I want to talk to him, even if it's the last time.........." She let her voice trail off as she finished speaking. I knew that this wasn't a good idea, and I could hear Esme and Carlisle's thoughts on the matter.

_I don't think that is a good idea son. Charlie will want to see her, and how can we explain this?_ Carlisle's thought were practical, but Esme's had a different tone to them.

_It is the worst nightmare of any parent to not know what has happened to a child, surely she can at least call him, we can figure out a plausible story to cover for what is happening._ I had to agree with Esme about this, it was one of the few things that Bella had asked from us, and She should have it, she was going through so much, without so much as a complaint.

I looked at Carlisle and he sighed as I reached for the phone. I handed the phone to Bella, and she smiled, her eyes misted with tears, it took so little to make her happy, she deserved so much more then I could give her, she only wanted the simple things, and all I brought her was complications. Bella punched in the familiar number and listened as it rang. After the second ring, her face started to fall in disappointment, but it changed as she heard the click on the other end that signaled someone picking up. "Hello?" A rough voice on the other end responded. "Dad!" Bella replied. Her voice thick with emotion. "Bells? Is that you?" He asked. I could here the pleasure in his voice at her calling. "Yeah Dad, it's me. How are you?" The tone of his voice was easy to hear from my spot on the couch, and it had changed from happy to concerned.

"Bells, are you okay? You sound awful. Edward didn't hurt you did he, cause if he did I will personally remove his kneecaps!" Bella looked at me obviously knowing that I could hear, and giggling as she saw the look on my face. My jaw had dropped open. How could he ever think that I would hurt her? I would never.....I let my thoughts trail away as I looked at her. All it took was that one look to see that I had done just that. I had hurt her, her swelling abdomen, her ailing frame, her pallid skin, they were all evidence of the fact that she was suffering because of me. I turned my eyes away as disgust burned through me.

Bella's attention had been drawn back to Charlie, and I was thankful that she didn't see me hang my head in shame. "I am fine dad, don't be ridiculous, Edward would never hurt me. I'm just not feeling well." She said. "Are you home, do you want me to bring you something?" Charlie was so much like Bella, he was giving, helpful, and selfless. "No dad I am fine, I have my own personal doctor." Bella flashed Carlisle a momentary grin, that he was only able to halfheartedly return. "Can I come to see you?" He asked. I saw Bella's eyes widen as she looked from me to Carlisle, not sure what to say. Carlisle held his hand out for the phone. "Um dad that wouldn't be a good idea, here Carlisle wants to talk to you."

Bella handed then phone over, with a grimace on her face, and Carlisle took it, taking a deep breath before speaking. "Good day Charlie, how are you?" he asked. "I'm fine, what's wrong with Bella? Is she alright?" Charlie's voice broke as he asked Carlisle, now that Bella was off the line, he was allowing his emotions to show a little more clearly. "Carlisle is something wrong with her? Tell me, I can handle it." Carlisle ran a hand over his face, it was a very human movement, and I could hear from his mind the explanation he was about to give Charlie, it was very believable, and yet I knew he hated lying to this man, he had a great respect for Charlie.

"Well she and Edward just returned from their honeymoon Charlie," Carlisle began. "They were down in South America, and it seems that Bella has caught a nasty bug, I think it may have been from the food, you know how they are with the lack of food quality, and hygiene. She has lost a great deal of weight, but I have her on fluids, and I am running tests to narrow down what it might be. I have to keep her quarantined just in case, we have already been exposed before we realized what it was, but thankfully we seem immune to whatever she has got, but we can't risk infecting anyone else. I know how much you wish to see her Charlie, but it is for your safety, and for hers. She is very weak, and exposing her to any other germs, no matter how slight the risk, may put her in grave danger if they react to whatever is effecting her system." I nodded my head at Carlisle, letting him know that everything he had said was by the book, and very believable. "Is it serious Carlisle? What should I do?" Charlie's voice was heavy with emotions. "I promise that caring for Bella is my utmost priority, I will stay by her side Charlie. I will do everything I can to make sure she is fine." Carlisle's thoughts added to his words, _I will do everything within my power to protect her, she is my daughter to now, and I will not let this family lose her, it would destroy Edward...._Carlisle looked at me and realized that he had lapsed his thoughts where I would hear them. _Sorry Edward..I didn't mean for...to think...... it's true though Edward, you would be lost without her. _"I know..." I whispered. He had no idea how lost I would be without her, my world would be ...over.

I tuned back into the conversation to hear Carlisle promise again that he would keep him up to date on Bella's progress. Carlisle told Charlie that he was giving the phone back to Bella and that he would talk to him again soon. Bella got back on the phone with Charlie and they discussed some safe topics, like weather and sports, before Charlie making her promise to take care of herself, and to call him soon. Bella rolled her eyes as she hit the end button. "I'm not sure if that made me feel better or worse," she said with a weak smile.

I leaned over and gave her a gentle hug, and kissed her brow, she leaned into my kiss and sighed, slumping against my chest "You alright love?" I asked. She nodded. "I just feel so tired." she replied. "You need to eat, and then maybe some more sleep." I said, really feeling like she needed my demon child out of her, but not wanting to upset her. I know that she imagined a beautiful child, a child with human qualities, but I pictured a savage thing that was blood thirsty and uncontrollable. It would a lot to change my mind. "Do you want something to eat?" I asked hopeful that she would say yes, but she shook her head no. I sat their silently as she snuggled against me, and closed her eyes. I relished in the contact of our bodies, even if it was only from her neck up, and listened as her breathing started to even out into sleep once more. This was getting worse, not better, and I didn't know what to do.


	16. Chapter 17

1Chapter 16

**A/N I want to send out a special thanks to Cullenfest, she is my unofficial Beta, but she rocks! We are now going to be getting back into the nitty gritty with Jacob. As always the speech from these parts are taken directly from Breaking Dawn to stay true to the story. I am going t o use this story to touch on my other on****-**** going story, as they can ****easily ****inte****r****sect since they end up in the same time frame, and since I am do****i****ng this from Edward, the mind reader****'****s, side I can go into more detail about Nahuel and****Huilen**.

**My husband has convinced me to start writing a book** **of my own, but I will promise to make updates to these stories at least once a week still, as I will not leave my readers hanging.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of ****its**** characters, but I do own the characters from my own book, which also happens to be a vampire series(and no they don't sparkle, :(, but there are some pretty heavy things happening in it.)**

**As always****,**** please review, as I get excited and check my email every day, even at work, and squeal like a little girl when I get one! Thanks**

Edward's POV

I sat watching Bella sleep in our bed, her breaths were shallower than usual, and she tossed and turned in her sleep, often tracing her ever- swelling abdomen even in her sleep. It had only been a few days since she had called Charlie to tell him we were home, but they spoke daily, and he was getting more and more frustrated that he wasn't allowed to see her. During today's phone conversation, his voice had spoken volumes as to how worried he was, he was getting more and more frustrated, and Carlisle was having a hard time convincing him to stay away. I knew that if he could see her, his mind would not be more at rest, she looked worse than she sounded.

Bella's abdomen swelled with each passing day, her skin pulled taut over her already slight frame. The once- small bump, now swelled as if her womb held a child in its last trimester of growth, instead of one only a few weeks in. With each passing day, she tried harder and harder to force her body to keep some food down, to nourish the creature within, with less and less success. It was killing her, slowly, but surely. Nothing would change Bella's view though, she loved it, like she had never loved anything before. We had talked at great length, and she had argued that although she had never felt the need to be a mother, she did now. The conversation ran over and over in my mind.

"Bella, love, are you alright?" I had asked her in alarm as she had curled around herself, gasping in pain. That thing was hurting her...again. As she had writhed in pain the loose shirt she had worn, because it was one of the few things that would cover her distended belly, had ridden up and revealed a patchwork of purple, yellow and black bruises. They were almost too numerous to count, I had hissed at the sight. She followed my glance and pulled down her shirt, to cover them up, so I would not be able to see them. I had moved forward, and tried to pull her shirt back up, to look more closely at the damage. She held the fabric down firmly, but relented when I looked firmly at her, realizing that I was not going to back down.

I pulled back the soft fabric, and stopped breathing as I took in the overlay of new and old bruises that covered her pale skin. Bella refused to meet my eyes as I looked upwards at her face. Tears seeped from the corners of her eyes, and she reached down to cover herself once more, but I grasped her wrists, preventing her from doing so. "Bella, look at yourself." I had growled. Rosalie who had been hovering nearby glanced over and even her thoughts momentarily were stunned by the sight of Bella's marred skin. Bella looked down, her eyes grazing absently over her abdomen. She looked at me then, but did not respond. "Look, " I said again, "Can't you see what this ...this...thing is doing to you?" Bella looked at me, her eyes wide. "Our baby is not a thing Edward!" She said firmly. "This child is a part of you and me. Nothing that is a part of our love could be anything less than beautiful!" I looked at her, her face had flushed in anger, and her eyes had brightened. "We don't need a child Bella." I had said quietly, "You are everything I ever wanted, and you are risking your life for it." I had no idea what I could say to convince her that would make her see things from my side.

Rosalie growled and moved in my direction, her thoughts laced with menace. _Stop trying to sway her Edward, she has made her choice. She wants this baby._ "Rose, it's okay." Bella sighed. Bella sighed and took a deep breath. "Let me try to make you understand Edward.....This child is a part of you and me, made from a unique love unlike anything the world has ever seen. I had never thought about being a mother. I had never thought of the possibility, but now that this child is already on its way, I am going to do whatever I can to help its journey. I have to do that much. " she reached out and pressed her soft hand to my cool cheek. "I know you're afraid Edward, we both are, but I am not going to change my mind." I was about to respond when Rosalie's thought invaded my head. _You__'__r__e__ upsetting her Edward, you__'__r__e__ making things worse, not better. You know that Bella is not going to change her mind, I would do the same thing in her position, __so __you need to back off. Don't make her waste what little energy she has arguing with you!_

I knew that Rose was right, Bella wouldn't be swayed, and I didn't want to make her worse by adding stress to an already delicate situation. I backed off, letting the conversation drop for now. Bella had grown weary, and Rose had carried her up to our bedroom, laying her gently on our bed. She sat on one side of her, and I sat on the other. I hummed her lullaby, and she fell asleep in mere moments. I stayed lost in my thoughts, but refused to let the topic go. , If I couldn't change her thoughts to my way of thinking, then I would have to do what ever I could to get her what she wanted, while still keeping her safe...................

Things flowed on in an endless river of torment for me. Rosalie, Emmett, and Esme took turns keeping an eye on Bella, never letting me be alone with her. Rosalie was the worst though, whereas Emmett and Esme felt for me, Bella and the current situation, Rose couldn't have cared less about anything else besides Bella and the growing thing inside her. Rose's thoughts centered on all of the things she would do with the baby when it arrived, and she glowed in contentment. It disgusted me.

After sleeping on and off through a restless night, Bella awoke, weary and disheveled, and Rose helped her bathe. I gave them space, not wanting to see the bruises that spread over her strained porcelain skin. After her bath I carried her gently downstairs, under Rosalie's careful watch, her thoughts protective. _Watch her legs Edward, can't you be more careful?_ I muttered a response so low that only Rose would hear it. "I would never hurt her, and I am being careful. Is it Bella you're even worried about?" Rose scowled in response to my words. _I am worried about BOTH of them!_ She said vehemently. I was not convinced.

Bella tried to force herself through breakfast, but only managed a few bites before she stumbled into the closest bathroom with her hand clamped over her mouth, and the little nourishment she had taken in forced itself from her body . I went to the bathroom and helped support her as she slumped over the cold white porcelain. She was almost unable to stand up to get to the sink to brush her teeth to rid herself of the vile taste in her mouth. I put an arm around her back to support her and I held her up so she could rinse out her mouth. Then I swept her up in my arms, and carried her back to the couch in the living room. Esme paced nearby, ready to make her something to eat at a moment's notice, not that Bella was able to eat anything much at all. She was getting worse almost by the hour - , I would give anything to see her improve.

We put on a movie for Bella to watch, but she slept through most of it. It was obvious to me that her body was trying to save what little strength it had left. When she awoke, she asked Esme to make her some toast, and she even managed a weak smile as thanks, but I was not about to be fooled. After eating very slowly Bella sat back on the couch, curled in a blanket, I stood behind the couch, not wanting to make her cold. That was when I heard him...... Jacob Black.

His thoughts were murderous, he was thinking of killing me, and knew that I would be able to hear what he was thinking. He was worried about how Sam would react to this breach in the treaty, but was going to do it nonetheless. Jacob was thinking about Bella, that we were trying to hide her because she had been changed. He had no idea what was going on. The rest of the family soon heard the approach of his dirt bike but no-one moved until we heard it in the long drive. "Jacob is here." Carlisle said calmly, "Do you want to talk with him, or should I?" I gestured in the direction of the door, asking him to be the one to do it, and he slipped to the door soundlessly, and before any knock sounded, he had pulled it open.

"Hello, Jacob. How are you?" Carlisle asked calmly. Jacob's thought revealed how surprised he was to see Carlisle so calm, and that he had wished that someone else had answered the door, he didn't want to hurt Carlisle, he felt he was too human. The reek of dog made its way into the house, and Rosalie's thoughts were not kind. _What is that mutt doing here? If he gets Bella upset_ _I'll fix it so he can never have puppies!_ That almost made me smile, almost, but not quite.

"I heard Bella made it back alive," Jacob said "ER, Jacob, it's not really the best time." Carlisle said. I could feel his discomfort talking to Jacob about Bella, and so could Jacob. Jacob wasn't sure why Carlisle was acting they way that he was, he thought that Carlisle was asking he him to put off a fight of some kind.. "Is that Jacob?" Bella asked, her voice rough. "Yes," said Rosalie, "but now is not a good time." Bella turned to her, "Why not? Are we keeping secrets from Jacob too? What's the point?"

I could hear Jacob's thoughts turn to Bella -, he had heard her voice, and it had alarmed him. He was wondering if all newborns sounded like that, and he was thinking back to the battle to see if he could dredge up some memories, but nothing came to mind. "Come in please, Jacob." Bella said as loudly as her tired voice would allow. I could sense the worry in Jacob's mind about what she would look like, and I was even more ashamed. He would never have done this to her, only a monster like me would have hurt such an angel. "Excuse me," Jacob said as he made his way past Carlisle. He was not happy at leaving his back unprotected to a vampire, but minded less because it was Carlisle, who was safer than most.

I had thought that I was safe, and look what I had done to Bella, I had ruined her, not even out of malice, I had ruined her with love, what kind of oxymoron was that? Love was supposed to set you free, not sentence you to death. I could imagine Jacob's scorn, and he didn't even realize what was going on yet. At least I could expect the anger and rage I deserved from him, since Bella refused to blame me the way I deserved for her current predicament.

The family had gathered around the white leather sofa, except for Carlisle who followed Jacob in. Rosalie hovered over Bella as if to protect her from his stare. Jacob was strategizing about how he could fight us all, and who he least wanted to hurt if it could be avoided. He momentarily lost focus as he took in the room, and he recalled the last time he had been here, and how different it looked now. Suddenly his eyes turned to us, and as his dark accusing eyes locked on mine, he froze, I had to turn away.

Suddenly I could see myself in his mind, I was haggard, my eyes were dark, and I looked to the downward, my face a mask of misery. Jacob's demeanor changed and I watched the pictures in his mind as he tried to figure out what could cause me to look this bad. He moved his eyes following my gaze, until he suddenly caught Bella's scent, and he realized that she was still human. His thoughts filled with happiness. _ She is still human, still the Bella that I love. Her eyes are still brown, her skin still soft.... _Then his eyes started to notice the details though, _ Her eyes look awful, they have such dark circles under them. Is she skinnier? Her skin looks tight.. She is covered in sweat, he__r__ hair is even sticking to it. She is sick....very sick. They hadn't lied to Charlie after all!_

As I listened to his thoughts, I noticed the image of Bella in his mind looking worse by the second. I looked at her face and saw her skin turn a shade of green and that meant one thing. Rosalie must have seen it too, as she leaned over Bella trying to protect her from being seen in such a state. Jacob's thoughts were confused, he didn't understand why Bella and Rosalie were acting like this. From what he knew, the two of them didn't like one another. How much had changed since we saw him last? He was shocked to see the cameraderie between them now. Rosalie grabbed a bucket up quickly from beside the couch and placed it gently in front of Bella, just in time for her to empty her stomach contents into it. Emmett's thoughts of _toast one, Bella zero_ only reminded me of how little was staying in her system, not enough to support her, let alone another being growing inside her.

I couldn't help it, I couldn't stand upright a moment longer, and I collapsed to my knees beside my gentle wife. Rosalie held up a hand to warn me away,_ Edward give her space_, her thoughts added. I could sense Jacob's confusion, and it only added to the loathing I felt at myself,. I waited for him to register what I had done to her, and how horribly wrong it was. Bella regained her composure, and smiled a weak smile to try and let everyone know that she was okay, but I saw through it, as I was sure everyone did by now. "Sorry about that." She whispered, looking at Jacob, her face a mask of embarrassment. She was apologizing! She who never did anything to harm anyone, even when it was justified, was apologizing for what I had done to her. It was too much to handle. I laid my head on her knees, wishing I could take it all back.

Bella laid her hand on my cheek, and even though I knew I didn't deserve it, I relished in her touch. Jacob was annoyed that she seemed to be comforting me, even though she was the sick one. He moved forward, and Rosalie moved to intercept him, hissing her intent. Her sudden appearance in front of him made him realize that he had moved closer to Bella unknowingly, but he didn't care that she was there, he wanted to see Bella. "Rose, don't. It's fine." Bella whispered. Rosalie did as Bella asked but not without thinking hateful thoughts at Jacob. _If that mongrel makes one wrong move, he won't even be able to eat kibble! _She scowled her displeasure at Jacob as she moved back by Bella's head, staying close in case she need to protect her.

"Bella what's wrong?" Jacob asked, as he fell into a similar position to me. He didn't even seem to notice that I was there anymore. He reached for her hand, and was concerned at how cold it felt. "Are you all right?" Bella didn't respond to his question. I wished she would,. sSince I couldn't hear her thoughts, the only way to know what she was thinking was to hear her say it aloud.

"I am so glad that you came to see me today, Jacob." Bella said. I moaned, knowing that she had avoided the question , probably so I wouldn't feel worse. She was always protecting me, even when I didn't deserve it. Look how poorly I had protected her. I wanted to cry as her fingers stroked my cheek as if to soothe me, I didn't deserve soothing, I was a monster.

"What is it, Bella?" Jacob wasn't going to let her off without an answer, her tightened his warm fingers around her cold ones. Bella still didn't answer, instead she gazed around the room, looking from one of us to the next. How I wished to hear her thoughts! Finally she turned to Rosalie. "Help me up, Rose?" She asked quietly. Rose glared at Jacob, as if he was forcing Bella to do something that would just make things worse. If looks could kill, Jacob would be dead. "Please, Rose." Bella said gently. Rose wasn't happy about it, but she leaned over me to wrap an arm around Bella to help her up. I didn't move, partly out of not wanting to hurt Bella, and partly out of shame, knowing that Jacob was finally going to see what was wrong with her.

Jacob suddenly looked worried. "No," he whispered, "don't get up.." He could see how weak she was, and that realization from him was like a dagger in my cold heart. "I'm answering your question." Bella snapped at Jacob. , He was a bit relieved to hear her sound more like her old self, but I knew that relief would only be short- lived. Rosalie eased Bella off of the couch, and I let myself fall against the cushions, burying my face into them. I heard the blanket fall off of Bella and pool on the floor.

Jacob's thoughts raced as he took in Bella before him. He noticed her swollen body, the way her shape strained outward. He noticed how much thinner her whole frame seemed to be. He thought that it seemed like this swelling had sucked the life from her, and I knew that was exactly what it was doing with each passing second. As Jacob watched Bella wrap her arms protectively around her abdomen, the realization of what was going on hit him like a ton of bricks, and he was sickened. He knew that she was pregnant, and that she shouldn't be that pregnant, but somehow she was.

Jacob's mind was reeling from shock: his mind raced, his thoughts angry and full of despair. Images flew through his mind, pictures of me and Bella, pictures of us making love, me joining with her, making her moan out my name. The images were tainted with hate and disgust. Jacob was so angry that he trembled. His hate for me so real, and strong that I let it wash over me like a wave, finally. Feeling some of what I deserved for what I had done. I could hear every thought running through his mind.

_No.....not my Bella.....That thing, what did he do to her? _The images of me with Bella, took on a scary light, In his eyes I saw the monster he truly thought me to be, my eyes were dark with hunger, and forcing myself on her. I felt sick. I was about to react when his thoughts changed. The images blurred and re-formed, Jacob was imagining himself with Bella, making love to her, and her responding to his touches._ That's how it was supposed to be,_ he thought miserably. The images moved, narrowed in to Bella's belly, it swelled out unnaturally and with it returned the images of a monestrous me, holding his poor Bella in my arms, and I could sense him overcome with repulsion. I heard Jacob's stomach heave, and I heard him swallow, knowing that he had just vomited from the knowledge of what I had done to her. Then his thoughts realized that, worst of all, that this thing growing inside of her was sucking the life out of her. This was the reason why she looked so awful. This was killing her. This thing was an abomination, a monster......this thing was .........just like me.


	17. Chapter 18

1Chapter 17

**A/N**

**Special thanks goes out to Cullenfest for being an awesome Beta, even if now I am aware just how bad my spelling was. I was to suggest that people check out the story Best Laid Plans by an author who goes by the name of .Cantante.83****it is a nice insightful story about Edward / Bella/ and Jacob after the Battle with the Newborn army, and it takes some new twists from the original story.** **Check it out!**

Edward's POV

Jacob thoughts washed over me like, wrapping me in a cocoon of shame. I couldn't help the way the truth effected me knowing that this creature that polluted the temple that was her body, was in fact just like me. We were both monsters, both hurtful to this compassionate, loving woman who loved us both, regardless as to what we did to her. _I always knew you would kill her _ His thoughts were like a slap to the face, and my head snapped back from the blow. I flew to my feet standing over Jacob. My eyes burning with the pain I was feeling as I towered over him.

"Outside Jacob." I growled at him. I needed to talk to him, to get him to help me make Bella see that there was another way out of this situation, and maybe Jacob could help me, we both wanted what was best for Bella, even if she didn't agree. He rose to his feet in a flash, it was obvious that he was preparing for a fight, but I was not about to fight with him. "Let's do this," Jacob agreed, his frame trembling so subtly I am not even sure if he was aware of it.

My family moved forward protectively. - Emmett pushing forward on one side of me, and Jasper following right behind them. Their thoughts were as prepared for battle as Jacob's. Jacob wasn't bothered, _ I don't care, let them come, maybe my pack can_ _rip them apart after they finish me off, it doesn't matter now. _It really didn't matter to him anymore, if Bella was going to die then nothing mattered. He was giving up, and he was determined to take me down for what I had done before this was all over. I saw his thoughts turn to Alice and Esme. They were still girls in his eyes and he didn't wish to hurt them, even if they weren't human, but he didn't think he would have to make that choice by the time he was done. Though he was willing to make an exception for Rosalie, whom he didn't like all.

"No," Bella exclaimed, trying to move closer to grab my arm. Rosalie's thoughts joined the mix in my head, and she fluidly followed Bella's movements as she tried to reach me _Edward! She is going to hurt herself, don't you start anything in here, you are making this worse!_ I knew she was right, but I would make it clear to her that there would be no fighting, at least not from my side. "I just need to talk to him, Bella, " I said softly, to reassure her. I stroked her face softly, knowing how even now she would react to my touch. She didn't disappoint me, she never did. I felt her heart beat gradually even out as she calmed and leaned into my touch. I spoke softly, soothingly, even though I could hear Jacob's hateful thoughts directed at me for the way I let myself touch her intimately. "Don't strain yourself. Please rest. We'll both be back in just a few minutes." Her eyes searched mine, but I was speaking the truth, and she could find no deception in my eyes. She nodded and all energy left her as quickly as it had come., her body leaning towards the couch in exhaustion. Rosalie helped her lower herself back to the cushions, and I heard the thanks she thought in my direction.

I watched as Bella tried to catch Jacob's eye as well, although he would not meet her glance. "Behave," she told him, but this was more of a plea, "Then come back." He didn't answer her, even though I could tell he wanted to just to make her feel better, but he was not going to make a promise that he might not be able to keep. I led the way out of the door, and he followed, thinking that it had been easy to separate me from my family. I kept walking,. I was not going to help him turn this into a fight, but he seemed surprised that I wasn't watching out for an attack until he remembered that I would probably hear him think about it in time to protect myself anyway. He decided that when he made that choice, he would have to be fast in order to get the upper hand.

Once out side, and a distance from the house, I decided to inform Jacob that he was going to have to wait a bit. "I'm not ready for you to kill me yet, Jacob Black, you'll have to have a little patience." I spoke softly, not wanting to cause more discord in the house. If Emmett or Jasper moved to come to my aid, Bella would know, and I wanted this conversation to be between just me and Jacob. _Like I care if it fits into your schedule _he thought. "Patience isn't my specialty." He said grimly, following even though all he wanted to do was pounce on my back.

I kept walking, only a little further until we could talk_ , _and finally once I felt we were far enough from the house I turned to face him. He froze in the spot, partly from the suddenness of my movement, which caught him off guard, and partly because seeing my appearance up close unnerved him. His thoughts showed a mature outlook, I hadn't expected. _I am just a kid.....His eyes have so much pain......I don't ....I ...He must have gone through so much to look like that...._

Jacob thought I looked aged., I wiped my fingers across my brow in frustration, and opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Jacob quietly took in everyone of my movements, trying to understand what I was about to do. Jacob took in my eyes, the horrid color under my eyes. _That is what a man would look like if he were burning at the stake_ he thought, and yet I thought that would hurt far less then the pain I was feeling. I could read fear in Jacob's thoughts, in the house I had seemed more composed, but here I hid nothing, and he was afraid. "It's killing her, right? She's dying?" He felt the pain of the reality setting in, but even him, in his suffering knew that I felt it more sharply, and he didn't envy me my pain, but he knew the reality was just setting in for him, and that it would only get worse as it reached into his heart, and his mind: Bella was dying.

He was thankful that it wasn't his fault, that he hadn't brought this pain upon anyone. He also realized how differently this was going to affect us, the men who loved her. Him as a confidant, and a friend, and me as the one who held her heart, and that was when he realized that, as much as he loved her, she was not his to lose. I wanted to say something, if anyone would understand my pain, it was him,. I wanted him to know my guilt, and how much I wanted to make things right. However as much as I tried to speak, all I could manage was a strangled,"My fault."

I couldn't do it, I couldn't explain how horrid I was, how I was at fault for us both losing her, for the fact that she would be leaving this world, and neither of us would get to be a part of her life any longer. I couldn't explain, I couldn't speak, I couldn't even stand on my feet, and with that I crumpled to the ground in front of him.

**Sorry it's so short, but I am trying to prepare for a computer change over.**

**Please review!**


	18. Chapter 19

1**Authors note: **

**I am seriously considering dropping this story as the last two chapters received so few reviews that it does not seem to be worth the time I take away from my family to write this up. I am making this a longer chapter, and it will contain some interesting insight from Edward, and what he can see in Jacob's thoughts. Can you recall those moments where you are so lost in your own thoughts that you don't even realize how much is going through your head? Well be prepared to see the true depths of Jacob's mind, because Edward being a mind reader can see it all. Please enjoy, better yet please review, we all forget now and again how much a person puts into their stories, and we forget to review, even I have done that, but I am making an effort to review as often as I can now. If you are working on a story, tell me about it, and I will try to check it out!**

**Thanks go out to Cullenfest for being an awesome beta ( official or not)**

**she is super!**

**Thanks**

**Jen**

Chapter 18

Edwards's POV

Jacob's unwelcome thoughts invaded my mind. _He would be such an easy target right now, I would hardly have to move, and that would be it. But this isn't how I want to do this...._ The intensity of his anger started to ebb away, as he took in my prone form lying on the ground, as the impact of my despair hit him. I needed to tell him, "Yes, it's killing her." I had done this to her, and in turn I was killing her. "Why hasn't Carlisle done anything?" Jacob growled, "He's a doctor, right? Get it out of her." He demanded, looking at me with eyes that burned with the same desire to protect Bella that dwelled in myself. His thought was the same as mine had been, to have my father remove the offending thing from within her, to keep her safe.

I looked up at him, moving myself into a less vulnerable position. I had tried over and over to convince Bella to let Carlisle do exactly what he was suggesting now, but the choice wasn't mine to make. I was like fighting a battle against myself, and I was weary from trying. "She won't let us." I told him, the words sliding from my tongue like drops of lead. Jacob stood there momentarily silence, in words, and in thoughts as he processed my words. His thoughts recovered first. _ To die for the spawn of a monster....... how just like Bella...._ As much as I normally would react to being called a monster, I knew he was right. Jacob had just shown me something, his thoughts showed an understanding of Bella that I had lacked, or maybe I had simply overlooked it as a part of being human, a part of the humanity that I had long since lost.

"You know her well," I whispered, ashamed of my gross oversight. "How quickly you see....I didn't see. Not in time. She wouldn't talk to me on the way home, not really. I thought she was frightened–that would be natural. I thought she was angry with me for putting her through this, for endangering her life. Again. I never imagined what she was really thinking, what she was resolving. Not until my family met us at the airport and she ran right into Rosalie's arms. Rosalie's! And then I heard what Rosalie was thinking. I didn't understand until I heard that. Yet you understand after one second..." I let out a long breath, but it came out as more of a strangled moan, once I realized how well he understood her thought process. I had been so quick to assume that she had felt the same fear that I had. I had read her completely wrong. Her body language, her facial expressions. Had I simply seen what I had hoped to see when I looked at her? Yet Jacob, who had seen her for all of a few minutes in her suffering, knew immediately that she would protect the child growing inside her.

Jacob's voice interrupted my thoughts, " Just back up a second. She won't let you?" His voice was heavy with sarcasm. His thoughts conjured up an image of Bella standing in front of my whole family, threatening us bodily harm, as she shook a small fist at us and we cowered from her. Then he continued, " Did you ever notice that she's exactly as strong as a normal hundred-and-ten-pound human girl? How stupid are you vamps? Hold her down and knock her out with drugs." He thought I hadn't considered this. He was euphoric at having thought of such a simple solution, that I had somehow missed.

He was not aware of all of the facts though. "I wanted to," I whispered, almost ashamed that I would have gone against her wishes, but knowing that I would have risked the wrath from Bella to ensure her safety, I wasn't the only one either. "Carlisle would have...". Jacob interrupted with his thoughts, _What – too noble were they? _I glanced up to glare at him, to let him know that I was getting to that. "No. Not noble. Her bodyguard complicated things."

With those words I felt the realization sink into Jacob's mind. _Huh..... I didn't get it before. It makes much more sense now. So that's what Blondie was up to_. _Why is she helping Bella, what's in it for her? Did she want Bella to die? _

" Maybe," I told him, "Rosalie doesn't look at it quite that way." I followed his thoughts, he was getting closer to the truth of it than he realized. Rosalie didn't want Bella to die, she wouldn't be overly bothered if she did die, but it wasn't that she was wishing that death would smite Bella. She in fact felt very strong admiration for what Bella was trying to do. However Rosalie was more interested in that thing inside of Bella. She often lost herself in daydreams about dressing the child in tiny clothes, about singing it lullabies as it fell asleep in her arms. The whole idea of it sickened me, if I had the ability to physically vomit, those images Rosalie envisioned of her stolen moments with the thing that was killing my wife would surely have caused me to be sick over and over again.

"So take the blonde out first. Your kind can be put back together, right? Turn her into a jigsaw and take care of Bella." Jacob's words came with a vivid picture of Rosalie in numerous pieces, with Emmett trying to figure out how to put her back together again. I decided to put and end to his imagery. "Emmett and Esme are backing her up. Emmett would never let us......and Carlisle won't help me with Esme against it...." I stopped talking, it was hopeless.

"You should have left her with me." Jacob said, his voice even, as he stated what we both knew was the truth. I had been so stubborn, wanting her even though I didn't deserve her. With Jacob she would never be in this danger. If she carried his child she wouldn't be dying, poisoned from the inside...she would be glowing and vibrant with Jacob's child. "Yes." I told him, acknowledging that he was, indeed, correct, but unable to say more as I thought of how different this would be if I were human, or even a mongrel like Jacob. Bella's stomach would be rounded, swollen with our beautiful child, it would have her eyes, and her beautiful hair. I imagined myself holding a child who was fragile and as soft as Bella herself. If I weren't a monster, I could have given her that. Jacob's thoughts and mental pictures tore the image of what could have been away from my mind like a wind ripping the leaves from the tree boughs.

_It's a bit late for that. You should have thought about that before you knocked her up, impregnating her with a life-sucking monster!_ I saw a very real, very current image of a deathly ill Bella flash through his mind. I had to look up at him, I had to look into the anguished eyes of someone who loved her almost as much as I did. I knew that he was right, I should have left, the second I decided I loved her, I should have left and stayed away, but now it was to late. "We didn't know, I never dreamed. There has never been anything like Bella and I before. How could we know that a human would be able to conceive a child with one of us....." I said, my voice only a whisper.

Jacob sneered at me, and barked a maniacal laugh, then blurted out "When a human should get ripped to shreds in the process?" His words were laced with disgust, and his thoughts were jumbled with his anger. "Yes, they're out there, the sadistic ones, the incubus, the succubus. They exist. But the seduction is merely a prelude to the feast. No one survives!" The thought of Jacob putting me in the same category as those things made me sick. I love Bella, I had no desire to make a meal out of her. I would not even attempt to say that her blood was not alluring, even now, but her love pushed the monster far away. Love defeated the evil that lurked inside of me, and the thought of another vampire using a human to satiate their sexual desires, only to dine on them was revolting.

"I didn't realize they had a special name for what you are," Jacob said, the sarcasm dripping heavily from his words. I stared at him, aware of how young he way, only a child in a man's body, he thought he knew so much, and yet he was ignorant, he knew nothing. He could imagine the anger I had for myself in regards to this situation. "Even you, Jacob Black, cannot hate me as much as I hate myself." _ Wrong_!!! his thoughts screamed at me. I could almost feel his rage hit my body. I would have to approach this differently, we needed to make peace for Bella's sake, even if it was a false, temporary sort of arrangement.

"Killing me now doesn't save her." I said calmly. _It can't hurt though, now can it?_ His thoughts were full of loathing. "So what does?" He asked, the hate in his voice clear as day. I had to make this work, for Bella, I had to find a way to get Jacob to help me save her, even if it was from herself. "Jacob, you have to do something for me." I expected him to lash out at my request, at least until he heard me out. "The Hell I do, parasite!" Jacob shouted in response. I could see the shaking in his limbs that signified his emotions were starting to take control, the control that would lead to him shifting, and to the end of this conversation. I needed him to focus. I had to say it quickly, before he took to his wolf form, and his anger took over. I took a deep, but unnecessary breath, then asked, "For her?"

I could see him clenching his fists, trying to get control, his rage was winning though, "I did everything I could to keep her away from you. Every single thing. It's too late." His voice cracked with the sincerity of his words. This was my chance to make him see. "You know her Jacob. You connect with her on a level that I don't even understand. You are part of her, and she is part of you. She won't listen to me, because she thinks I am underestimating her. She thinks she's strong enough for this......" I choked on my own words, but swallowed and forced my way through. "She might listen to you." I finished helplessly.

I could hear his thoughts, and they reflected the same confusion as his face. There was pride that I was admitting that he had a connection with my wife that I did not, but worry that I was wrong, and fear that she wouldn't listen to him either. "Why would she?" He asked, his voice betraying how unsure he was about what I had said. This was my chance to make him see, to see that somehow, if we worked together we could save her. I would make this work, if he would help me, we could change Bella's mind, give her options, make her think this through. I forced myself to get up. I took a moment to look at myself through Jacob's eyes. He wondered if I was going crazy, or if it was even possible for a vampire to do so. "Maybe " I said answering his thought out of habit.

I considered that for a moment, could a vampire lose their mind? I wasn't sure, I hadn't heard about it, but then I hadn't heard anything about our current situation either. "I don't know. It feels like it." I shook my head to dispel that idea of being crazy. I wasn't crazy, I was a wreck because I kept trying to keep how I was feeling from Bella. "I have to try to hide this in front of her, because stress makes her more ill. She can't keep anything down as it is. I have to be composed; I can't make it harder. But that doesn't matter now. She has to listen to you!"

Jacob wanted to believe me, but he was frustrated, unsure of how Bella could respond any differently to him , than she had to me. "I can't tell her anything you haven't. What do you want me to do? Tell her she's stupid? She probably already knows that. Tell her she's going to die? I bet she knows that, too." Jacob's voice rose with each word, getting louder and louder as he let out his hopelessness at the current situation.

I knew what he could do... he could do something for Bella, that I couldn't. Something that she had told me that she wanted now, something she hadn't known she'd even wanted until there was no choice in the matter. I almost couldn't keep my voice from shaking as I said it..."You can offer her what she wants." I felt Jacob's confusion at the words he heard me utter. _What is that supposed to mean? She has what she wants! Him! I have offered myself to her over and over, and she always chooses him. What did it get her? Nothing but heartache and pain, and now she is dying. He has killed her! What can I give her that she wants? I would give her anything! He's not making any sense, he must be going crazy... _He looked up at me, shaking his head at me, knowing that I could hear his thoughts. As much as I didn't want to elaborate, he wasn't leaving me any choice.

"I don't care about anything but keeping her alive." I could do this, I could say this to him, because all that mattered now was Bella, and keeping her alive. I forced myself to focus, I needed to make him see. "If it's a child she wants, she can have it. She can have half a dozen babies. Anything she wants." I had to stop, and swallow hard, he still didn't understand the point that I was trying to make and I had to force myself to continue without lingering too long on the words that were spilling from my cold lips. "She can have puppies if that's what it takes......."

I was trying to maintain control. I couldn't make this any blunter for him than I had, I was ripping out what was left of my heart by even uttering those horrendous words, but I could allow it. I could let it happen if it would keep Bella alive. I loved her more than anything had ever loved anything else. I would always love her, even enough to give her this thing she wished for. I would even love her children, no matter who their father was, simply because they would be a part of her, and therefore worthy of my love as well. I was having trouble maintaining my semi -calm exterior. I looked at Jacob, I needed to know that he understood what I was saying.

The expression on his face faltered, the hard lines of anger softened as he processed my words, his mouth fell open as he registered what I was saying. "But not this way!" I hissed, "Not this thing that's sucking the life from her while I stand there helpless! Watching her sicken and waste away. Seeing it hurting her." Saying it aloud, with my own lips, hearing myself acknowledge what it was doing to her, my love, hit me harder than if Emmett had tackled me to the ground. I sucked in a quick breath trying to gain some control over myself. "You have to make her see reason Jacob. She won't listen to me anymore. Rosalie's always there, feeding her insanity-encouraging her. Protecting her. No, protecting it. Bella's life means nothing to her."

Jacob's thought were full of turbulence, he knew what I was saying, and yet he wasn't sure if that was what I meant._ What is he saying? That Bella should what? Have a baby? With me? What? How? Is he giving her up? Or does he think she won't mind being shared?_ "Whichever. Whatever keeps her alive." I muttered through clenched teeth. I would do whatever it took to make it so Bella lived. "That is the craziest thing you've said yet." Jacob said quietly through tight lips.

I knew it was crazy, but maybe it was crazy enough to work. "She loves you." I said in reply. "Not enough." Jacob countered. "She's ready to die to have a child. Maybe she'd accept something less extreme_." _I tried again, he was fighting this idea harder then I had anticipated. "Don't you know her at all?" Jacob said, exasperated. I tried a different avenue, "I know, I know. It's going to take a lot of convincing. That's why I need you. You know how she thinks. Make her see sense." Jacob's first thoughts were appalled,_ What! I can't think about what he is suggesting. It's too much, Impossible,. Wrong. Sick. Borrowing Bella for the weekends and then returning her Monday morning like a rental movie? _

I knew that even though he was repulsed initially, that his thoughts were shifting, I didn't want to hear them, but I needed him to help me save her. _So messed up! So.......tempting.._ Jacob didn't want to imagine the possibility, but I knew he would be unable to resist. I was counting on this, his desire for her, to help me change her mind. His thoughts were flashing back to how long he had wanted Bella, how he had finally given up his hopes and desires knowing she had chosen me, and that the possibility between the two of them no longer existed. Yet here was an entirely new opportunity that he had never imagined. The fantasies that had been left to fester came flooding to the surface, and as much as I wanted his help, I hadn't wanted to see the images that flooded his mind.

Jacob was holding Bella, my Bella. Her skin was glowing with health. Jacob held her naked body to his, his hands caressing the silky smooth surface of her skin. Running his fingers over the contours of her collarbone, tracing them down over her chest, between the soft mounds of her breasts. Jacobs hands tracing over her smooth, belly gently caressing her body as his hands grazed towards her soft delicate folds. The Bella in his mind was reacting to his every touch, moaning his name. The word from her soft lips fell like poison, but still I couldn't pull myself from his mind. Jacob pulled her body against his, and he moaned as in his head he felt her nipples harden as they came into contact with his searing flesh. His fingers dug into the curve of her buttocks, holding her body tightly to his, as they moved together.

Jacob delved further into his fantasy, picturing Bella laid out on a bed in front of him as he lowered himself between her sculpted legs. Him plunging into her heavenly heat, and feeling her wrap her legs tightly around his hips, drawing him further into her as she writhed on the bed in euphoric pleasure. I was dying, but I couldn't escape it, the images he conjured of Bella were so intense that I couldn't force myself away. Jacob imagined her quivering under him as her body reacted to his ministrations. And he sighed as he imagined the feeling of her climaxing around his throbbing manhood.

Suddenly the images the Jacob envisioned took on a different tone, and I knew that this was a new fantasy, even for him. Jacob was only imagining this new image because of my prompting. Bella, laughing and smiling, glowing, radiant, she looked so different, and yet something was the same as the Bella that waited for us only a short distance away. Jacob was picturing Bella in his mind, Bella's rounded abdomen was filled with his growing child. I felt a desire in Jacob surge up, a new desire that he had never imagined, and I felt a new protective side on him as he imagined feeling the movements of his growing child within her womb. The difference in Bella was shocking, her body was more voluptuous, her breasts fuller as they prepared for her the child growing within her. Her body looked natural, not grossly distended as it did now. Jacob was imagining the possibility that I had offered to him, and his whole being was ready to accept it.

I was fighting to maintain my composure, having followed him through his mental journey, a journey which rendered my soul in pieces, but which offered the only chance for Bella to survive. Jacob tried to get away from his thoughts, but they wouldn't be pushed away so easily, so he lashed out at me verbally instead of fighting them. "Make Bella see sense? What universe do you live in?" He said emphatically. "At least try." I said quietly, unable to use more force in my words, as I asked him to do something that would give him a part of the woman I loved. Jacob shook his head, he glanced at me knowing that I could hear the conflict within his thoughts.

"Where is this psycho crap coming from? Are you making this up as you go?" He was trying to distract himself from new, and unwanted thoughts, but he was interested in my answer. "I have been thinking of nothing but ways to save her since I realized what she was planning to do. What she would die to do. But I didn't know how to contact you. I knew you wouldn't listen if I called. I would have come to find you soon, if you hadn't come here today. But it's hard to leave her, even for a few minutes. Her condition...it changes so fast. That thing is....growing. Swiftly. I can't be away from her now."

Jacob took a moment, he was calmer now than he had been all day, and he had questions he wanted answered. "What is it?" He asked. I wish I knew. "None of us have any idea. But it is stronger than she is. Already." Jacobs mind filled with images of the miniature monster within her growing, and breaking her from the inside out. I spoke out to him, "Help me stop it," I asked in a mere whisper. "Help me stop this from happening." He was torn, he was angry, he didn't want a part of this, but part of him wanted Bella safe, and part of him desired Bella so badly that he was caving. "How? By offering my stud services?" He spat out. He flinched as he spoke. "You're really sick. She'll never listen to this." He was trying to find other things to grasp onto , so he wouldn't allow himself to linger on the resurfacing urges that he was feeling.

"Try. There's nothing to lose now. How will it hurt?" I asked him, imagining that regardless, nothing could make Bella worse._ It will hurt me. Hadn't I taken enough rejection from Bella without this?_ Jacob thought, but I wasn't worried about him. "A little pain to save her? Is it such a high cost?" I pushed, knowing that he would do it. "But it won't work." Jacob replied, his argument weakening. "Maybe not. Maybe will confuse her, though. Maybe she'll falter in her resolve. One moment of doubt is all I need." I had to keep pushing, I knew I was winning. "And then you pull the rug out from under the offer? 'Just kidding Bella'?" Jacob growled at me, he thinking that I was out to dupe him. I had to make it clear to him that I would not back down from what I offered. "If she wants a child, that's what she gets. I won't rescind."

_I can't be considering this, was I a glutton for punishment or what? Bella will hit me for even suggesting this- not that it will hurt, but she will probably break her hand again. I shouldn't let him do this to me. He can read my thoughts. He's messing with my head. I should just kill him now._

"Not now," I whispered, "Not yet, right or wrong, it would destroy her, and you know it. No need to be hasty. If she won't listen to you, you'll get your chance. The moment Bella's heart stops beating, I will be begging for you to kill me." I wouldn't want to live anymore without Bella, he would want me dead, and I would willingly oblige. "You won't have to beg long." He responded grimly. I saw the humor in that phrase, knowing that if that were to happen that we both would be getting what we wanted most, and I felt my lips turn up slightly at the morbidity of the whole thing. "I'm very much counting on that." I told him. Completely counting on that would be more like it I thought to myself.

"Then we have a deal?" Jacob asked, his thoughts starting to return to the possibilities that now lay before him. I nodded and held out my hand, resisting the urge to grind him into the ground beneath us. Jacob swallowed and reached out his heated hand to shake mine once before releasing mine. "We have a deal," I responded, allowing myself to hope for the first time in weeks that I might be able to get Bella to see some sort of reason, and get her though this mess that I had caused.

*** The next chapter will explain how Edward comes up with the idea to start collecting his venom to change Bella.* Please review. Please, please, please, please!!!!!!!! Did I say Please enough times ?***


	19. Chapter 20

1**A/N **

**Wow so many Reviews!!!I am almost in shock at having gotten so many in such a short time, that I am doing another chapter today to say thank you.**

**I love writing, and knowing how many people are following makes me very happy:) I have to explain a something before delving into this chapter. I feel that even though Edward is from another time, that due to constant exposure to peoples thoughts, and decades of changing speech trends, I believe that he is capable of more up to date speech and some slang. I do however feel that swearing is something that Edward and Bella wouldn't do, the Cullens as a whole seem beyond swearing. I could imagine that James, or Victoria might have used that kind of language, or a newly created vampire might swear, but Personally I feel the Cullens are too classy to swear regularly.**

**Special thanks as always to Cullenfest for being an A-1 Beta! **

Chapter 19

Edward's POV

I made my way slowly back to the house. Jacob followed, lost in thoughts. Jacob was comparing this situation to a television show, albeit an odd Goth/mythical creature version of one. I found it intriguing that Jacob thought of himself as second place to me, when I was so often jealous of the connection he had with Bella. He had decided against talking to her about what we had discussed, but that he would attempt to make her see reason in the situation.

I didn't respond to his thoughts, though internally I did breathe a sigh of relief that he wasn't willing to do what I had suggested. If he changed his mind though, I would have to allow whatever the two of them decided. I had given my word, and I would follow through with it, even if it killed a piece of me every time I had to think of the two of them together, even if I knew that it was what I had to do to keep her with me, even if I had to share her with the dog to give her what she was fighting so hard to keep.

Jacob remained silent as we walked back to the house, he wondered about the location that I had taken him to, and if it held some sort of significance. Had I chosen it because it was out of hearing range? What was the point of what I had done. He was quick, I had to give him that. I had chosen a place just outside the hearing range of my family, not wanting anyone to be aware of our discussion. When we walked back into the house my family's thoughts were full of trepidation, they looked confused, and Jacob looked around, taking in their expressions. He hesitated in the doorway momentarily, unsure of what he should do next, then decided that he would stay there. His position allowed him to see everyone, but it also surrounded him with fresh air from the outside. He felt that it was a drastic improvement on the sickeningly sweet smell that permeated our house. I watched his nostril's flare as the scent of vampire hit him. If only he knew how awful he smelled to us, then I doubt he would complain about how sweet we smell, the wolves smell like wet, rancid dog, the smell was very unpleasant to say the least.

I walked into the group of waiting family members who surrounded Bella on the couch. Bella watched me with guarded eyes, her gaze flickering from me, to Jacob and back again. I assumed she was looking for visible clues as to what had transpired between him and I. Her brow was drawn tight with worry, and all of a sudden she seemed to visibly pale even further, she looked positively grey. I looked at my surrounding family then spoke out, "We're going to let Jacob and Bella speak privately." I kept my voice a flat as possible, not wanting anyone from my family to pick up on my emotions. Rosalie's thoughts raged, _ That mongrel isn't coming near her!_ "Over my pile of ashes," She hissed aloud, giving me an angry glare. She lingered beside Bella, her cool hand placed reassuringly against Bella's pallid cheek. I didn't even acknowledge her, looking only at Bella, for she was all that mattered.

"Bella," I said softly, still using the flat tone, "Jacob wants to talk to you. Are you afraid to be alone with him?" I wanted her to rebel against my suggestion that she was afraid of something, and she did, she hated when I suggested that she was unable to do a particular thing, and she always did the opposite to prove a point. "Rose, it's fine. Jake's not going to hurt us. Go with Edward." Bella looked softly at Rosalie. "It might be a trick," Rosalie warned her, while her thoughts yelled at me, _I don't know what you're up to Edward, but I won't let it happen!_ "I don't see how," Bella responded quietly, looking at each of us in turn.

"Carlisle and I will always be in your sight, Rosalie," I said, my voice cracked as my anger at her tried to force its way into my words. "We're the ones she's afraid of." I wanted nothing more than for Rose to back off, just to let me have a moment of my day with Bella that didn't involve her, and her angry thoughts or evil glances. Bella took a quick intake of breath "No," She whispered fiercely, as her eyes started to swell with tears. "No, Edward. I'm not..." I shook my head and forced a small smile at her, annoyed at myself for the phrasing I had chosen for my words. I did not want to cause her any more stress, and I was doing just that. "I didn't mean it that way, Bella. I'm fine. Don't worry about me."

I could hear Jacob's thoughts as they realized how much what happened around her affected her, even now that small stress had her looking much worse. "Everyone," I said, motioning towards the door, "Please." Jacob watched me, and he could see how much of what I was doing was an act, and as far as he was concerned, not a very good one. I couldn't fake this much longer, and Jacob could tell I was reaching my limits, as could my family. They silently made their way to the door, and Jacob sidestepped out of the way, his nose turned away from their approach. Everyone exited the room, except Rosalie. I watched her from the doorway. She was convinced something was going on, but she was unsure of what to do as she didn't want to leave Bella's side.

"Rose," Bella said softly, "I want you to go." Rosalie looked at me, her eyes piercing like daggers, though they were far less painful then her thoughts._ If anything happens to her Edward, no matter how small, I will rip each digit off of your body, then tear you limb from limb myself. _ She gestured for me to go first, and I did, listening carefully to monitor Jacob's thoughts. Rosalie shot a parting glare at Jacob before following me out.

It was easy to follow Jacob's side of the conversation through his thoughts, I was thankful for that because we had all moved away from the house so we couldn't eavesdrop on their conversation, but I needed to be aware of how things transpired. Everyone moved among the edge of the trees, Rosalie not letting me move further then a foot away from her at all times. I kept my eyes downcast, watching the swaying grasses blowing, appearing lost in thought, while I followed the epic conversation in the house. Jacob thought about how awful she looked, he imagined her looking like a swamp thing from an old movie. I could see the Bella in his mind smile and laugh. She wondered if he was going to yell at her for me, but he didn't, instead he tried to talk some sense in to her. She cut him off, making a quick witted comeback that made him laugh. He tried to warm her hands up as they were freezing, and even that innocent touch made me want to run into the house and to throw him through the wall, but I knew it was helping her, so I stayed put, clenching my fists in agitation.

I followed their conversation through Jacob, it was just as Jacob had expected, she wouldn't listen to him either. Bella tried to explain that she had faith that she would get through this, and Jacob was having trouble controlling his anger, as he saw how blind she was to what this thing growing inside her was doing to her body. He even tried to get her to see how much she was hurting me. Bella tried to argue her side, and to make Jacob see how much someone could survive through by telling him about how Esme had survived jumping off a cliff when she was human. That was when Jacob realized what she was planning, and through him I realized as well, she was not planning on making it through this pregnancy alive!

I was in such shock that I couldn't take in any more of their conversation. Bella was planning on becoming a vampire to survive the pregnancy. She was willing to give up her humanity for this thing that was killing her. I couldn't help it, I turned myself towards the house, moving forward. Rosalie moved to intercept me, Her fists crashing into my chest to hold me there. Jasper came to my side, sending out calming waves of peace, but after a moment he stopped, and laid a hand on Rose's shoulder. "He's not going to hurt her Rose, can't you see he's hurting?" I tried to calm myself, to focus on the conversation taking place in Jacob's head. He was asking her not to wait until it was too late, reminding her of what would happen to me if she died, letting her know that without her, I would choose not to exist.

It was difficult to push down my misery to focus on his thoughts, because all I could think of was that everything I had ever feared for her was coming to a head, and that nothing I could do would make it right. I was vaguely aware that he had actually resorted to bringing up what we had talked about, and that she had not even bothered to answer him, not that he was surprised, even if it bothered him that she had brushed off his offer. My mind was racing with what I would do if, in fact, I had no other choice. Could I change her? Would she survive long enough to survive the change? The idea was not a simplistic as it seemed.

I felt a surge of anger from Jacob, and tried to refocus my thoughts on him- he was leaving, he had to get away, she wouldn't see the lack of sense in her choices, and he was getting out of there, so he didn't have to watch her die, he felt like she was killing him, that she was killing me. Also that all three of us were dying because of the choices she had made, and he just couldn't stay around a second longer, so he ran from the house heading straight to the woods, shedding his clothes as he went, not caring who saw him, then he phased and raced to the woods as fast as his paws could carry him. I watched him go, feeling my own grief echoed in his mind, but I couldn't run away, I had to stay. Bella needed me, and as much as it was her choices that were allowing this child to grow, it was my choices that had put it there, in her womb, and I was going to have to do everything in my power to see that she survived, no matter how it had to happen: I wouldn't lose her now.

Rosalie was the first one back in the house. Bella seemed tired, but no worse than when we had left her a short time ago, so Rosalie returned to her side, adjusted her pillows and blankets, trying to make sure that she was comfortable. I came in and gave her a gentle kiss on her forehead, then excused myself to go and talk with Carlisle for a moment. Carlisle was at his desk, surrounded with sheaves of paper. Books lay haphazardly on the edge of his desk. I glanced at the titles, noting that they were books about high risk pregnancies. I doubted they would be of any help. Carlisle glanced up, noticing my eyes raking over the books. "Nothing," He said, "Nothing anywhere! Not that I expected there to be anything." he sighed in frustration

as he rifled through the papers.

I wanted to speak with him about when he had changed Esme, I needed details. "Carlisle?" I asked softly. "Yes my son?" He replied looking up from his work. "When you changed Esme, how did you know that it was not too late?" Carlisle looked questioningly at me, then his eyes softened as if he realized why I might be asking. "Well, Edward...... I didn't." I glanced up at my father, my mouth hung open in surprise, he saw my shock and continued to speak, "Edward, there is no sure-fire way to make sure that you are not too late, unless it's a transformation like my own. I was young and healthy, I was bitten and left, not drained. Each time it is different, you with your influenza, Rosalie with her internal injuries, Emmett with his blood loss, and Esme.......well it is not an exact science. Each time I have tried to save someone, I have been lucky. Their hearts have been strong enough to keep then venom moving through their systems. The heart is the most important thing son, it keeps the venom coursing throughout the body allowing it to bring on the change. The venom has to travel through the entire circulatory system so it can do its job. But if the heart is too weak, it will stop before the process is completed, the person can still die. Venom is not a cure-all aid."

"Are you contemplating biting Bella to save her if need be?" He asked. I nodded in response, mentally going over the information he had just told me. "Edward, when Esme came into the morgue and I realized she still had a heartbeat, as faint as it was, I bit her. I couldn't just let her die, I needed her, and I had to take the chance. I bit her.....and then, and then I prayed son." Carlisle paused, letting me take in what he had said. "It is a leap of faith, Edward. I know you don't believe that we have souls, or that we are good and deserving to be in God's good graces, but each time I have taken that leap of faith to save the members of our family, they have pulled through. It was meant to be this way, so all we can do is hope." Hope? I refused to leave everything I cared about purely up to hope! I looked up at Carlisle and said a calm thank you before departing his office, but before I had passed through the door, he spoke once more. "Edward?" I turned to look at the man I respected more than any other on the planet, "I find it hard to think that, after all you have been through to find the one person you were meant to love, you would be destined to lose her. You and Bella have been an exception to every rule so far, what's to say that you two don't have one more rule to break?"Carlisle tried to give me an encouraging smile, then he turned back to his work as I closed the door to his office._ Don't give up just yet son. _Carlisle's thoughts voiced in my mind as I made my way down the hall.

I moved slowly, not wanting to return downstairs just yet, while my mind was running over and over the information Carlisle had shared with me. The venom seemed to be the key, as it caused the transformation, it just needed to make its way through her body as quickly as possible....but what would be the quickest possible way? Years of medical school had taught me enough about the human circulatory system, each vein and artery had a specific job, taking blood to and from the heart, so whatever place I bit Bella, my venom would have to make it to her heart, only to spread out through the rest of her system. The ideal place to bite Bella, would be her heart, as that would allow her body to send out the venom to everywhere at once, circulating it as it would normally circulate oxygen. But you can't simply bite a person on the heart, it is inside the body, under the rib cage. I couldn't bite her there. I thought for a moment about how I could get my venom into Bella's heart without having to open her chest.

I continued trying to arrive at a solution, stopping as I passed the room the Carlisle had set up as a hospital room for Bella. My eyes honed in a tray of medications and syringes. A syringe could pierce through Bella's heart, without having to rip open her chest, a simple pin prick could administer my venom to her most vital organ, the organ that had brought her life, would now be the key tool in bringing her into a new exsistence.

I took a closer look, picking up one of the plastic syringes, seeing how much liquid it could hold. Would that be enough venom? Could it even hold my venom? I pulled off the needle point end, and gathered a small amount of venom in my mouth, feeling it pool under my tongue. I put the syringe in my mouth and attempted to gather some of my venom, but I felt the plastic disintegrate in my mouth. That wouldn't work, the plastic had barely touched my venom, I needed a substance that could stand up to the acidic nature of my venom.

I moved over to a large cupboard that Carlisle has stocked with every medical accessory that he thought he might need to aid Bella should her condition worsen. I opened the doors, seeing I.V. bags, sensor pads, bottles of Morphine, Penicillin and many more that I didn't bother to read. I kept scanning over the supplies, sutures, needles, syringes.... I looked into the tray that held the syringes, taking stock of the many sizes and types. There were plastic, glass and even metal ones syringes. I took out a glass vialed syringe, and a metal one. I went through the same steps with the glass syringe, removing the needle tip, then placing it into my mouth to draw in some of the venom that I held under my tongue. I pulled it out and held it up. Through the glass I could see a clear liquid, it looked like water, but it was far deadlier: it was the thing that made me what I was.

I held up the syringe inspecting it, and I heard a faint crackling sound coming from the glass, a moment later, it fell to pieces in my hand, the venom having reacted to the glass. The metal syringe was my last choice. I once again went through the steps that I had to test the other syringes, and I waited to see what would happen. The metal felt cool to the touch. I could not see the venom inside, but I could feel it moving within the tube as I turned it around to see if it was reacting to the venom it contained inside. I watched and watched until I heard my name being called from downstairs. "Be right there." I responded. I took the syringe to my room, and placed it in one of my drawers, knowing that at least now I had a plan. I would gather my venom for Bella, in hopes that, if I used enough and if I injected it into her heart before it was too late, she would probably have a much greater chance of surviving this thing.


	20. Chapter 21

1Chapter 20

**A/N I can't believe the reviews! They just keep coming. I am up after spending the night freezing in bed because my husband stole all of the covers, yet insists with sleeping with the window open, sheesh. But now he has to work, and I get to stay home because it Thanksgiving here in Canada, so I figured I will reward you with another, smaller chapter. I would make it longer, but I have to work on my other story, my book, and get ready to go to dinner at the family's house. But here it is.**

**Thanks as always to Cullenfest for being a super Beta, even though she is thousands of miles away from me, she has my chapters back to me so fast, so I can give them to you!**

Edwards POV

I had heard Carlisle and Esme depart together for a few, much needed private moments, then I headed downstairs, not wanting to worry Bella by being absent from her side for too long. I felt a bit better knowing that I was doing something. I felt like I now had a small semblance of control over what was coming, even if I had no real idea about what that could be. I sat by Bella, who was shifting uncomfortably on the couch. A quick glance outside let me know that Twilight was descending outside. I grimaced recalling how I had told Bella that it was the best time of day for Vampires, as the sun could no longer give them away, but for now, no time of day was good -not with Bella suffering through each moment.

She turned her face into my palm, nuzzling into its coolness. Rosalie's thoughts were concerned. While I had been upstairs, they had tried to feed Bella, but she had only managed a few bites before rejecting the food, unable to eat any more.

I had only been sitting for a few moments when a thought flashed into my head,_ Edward? Edward, you there? Okay I feel kinda stupid. _Jacob's thoughts were filled with alarm. Another set of thoughts interjected,_ You sound stupid, too._ It was a much more youthful set of thoughts that broke into the conversation, _ Think he can hear us?_ That had to be Seth, meaning he was coming with Jacob. _I think so. H_ey,_ Edward. If you can hear me- circle the wagons, bloodsucker. You've got a problem._ I wondered for a moment if this was it, we were going to go to war, the wolves were going to attack us for what we had done to Bella, that was until I heard Seth's added thought. _We've got a problem._

I slipped out from beside Bella. I knew that my family could hear the fast approaching paws, but I didn't want Bella unnecessarily alarmed. She hadn't noticed anything, but as I glanced around the room, I took in the alarmed eyes of my family. I shook my head, to let them know that they shouldn't be alarmed, and quietly pointed to Emmett and Jasper, then gestured to the front door as I started in that direction. I glanced back to make sure that Bella wouldn't be alarmed, and gave her a false smile, "I'll be right back, love." I said softly. Bella watched me, but nodded, and Rosalie moved to her side and started asking her questions about how she was doing, in order to distract her. Rose's thoughts were alarmed,_ What are they doing here Edward?_ I shook my head again to let her know that I was unsure as to the reason for their late visit, then I made my way to the door.

Emmett , Jasper and I waited on the front porch. We could hear the sounds of the wolves' enormous paws, hitting the ground in unison as they sped towards us. Emmett shifted on the balls of his feet, excitement written all over his face, while Jasper leaned against the railing, looking to the woods, his face calm and stoic. I could hear Emmett's and Jasper's thoughts - they were at the farthest extremes, Emmett hopeful for a fight, ready for action, while Jasper calmly waited to assess the situation, his thoughts protective as he envisioned what he would do in order to protect Alice from these giant creatures.

Three wolves broke through the tree line, into the vast yard. Jacob was assessing the house in his thoughts. "Jacob? Seth? What's going on?" I asked as my brothers flanked me on each side. Jacob slowed, then moved back a few spaces, his wolf nose making our scent even more overpowering than usual- it burned him. Seth whined and followed his lead. I sensed something different in Jacob, something more commanding in his presence.

Jacob turned his dark, wolfish eyes in my direction, and I saw a confrontation between him and Sam, the Pack's leader, and since the wolves were mentally linked, the others added in their thoughts to explain what had just transpired between the wolves. There were now two packs, as Jacob had stepped up to the birthright that was his, all in order to protect Bella. They reached the talk about the abomination that Bella carried, and I couldn't help that my body reacted to the insult. I hissed, and leapt forward, off of the porch. "They want to kill Bella?" I snarled in response to their thoughts.

My brothers heard my words, but had not realized that it was a question, not a statement. They jumped down next to me, and waves of rage, and protectiveness oozed from their thoughts. It was Seth's startled thoughts as he took in my brothers' menacing postures, that made me aware of my folly. "Em, Jazz-not them! The others. The pack is coming." My brothers stepped back, into a less confrontational pose, but they refused to let down their guard against the wolves that stood in front of us. "What's their problem?" Emmett demanded of me. "The same one as mine," I hissed back, "But they have their own plan to handle it. Get the others. Call Carlisle! He and Esme have to get back here now."

Jacob whined loudly, he was worried for our family, worried for Bella, because we were separated. "They aren't far." I told him, trying to ease his fears. Seth's thoughts were prevalent in my mind as he informed Jacob that he was going to go scout out the area around the house. _I'm going to go take a look. Run the western perimeter._ He was young, and as much as I appreciated him, probably more than most of the wolves, due to his unwavering acceptance of my family, I didn't want his youthful exuberance to get him hurt. "Will you be in danger, Seth?" I asked him. I watched the wolves exchange a look with one another, but was relieved when they both answered truthfully at the same time. _Don't think so. _ Jacob must have sensed my unease regarding young Seth because he added, _But maybe I should go. Just in case....._

I could hear Seth annoyance at Jacob's suggestion, but he ignored it. _They'll be less likely to challenge me, I'm just a kid to them._ Seth informed Jacob, who was getting frustrated. _You're just a kid to me, kid. _Seth didn't bother to wait around to be knocked any further._ I'm outta here. You need to coordinate with the Cullen's._ He said, turning and bounding off with a flick of his tail, he darting into the darkness. Jacob wasn't willing to order him around, so he just let him leave.

Jacob stood and looked at me, it was dark but neither one of us had trouble seeing in the lack of light. Emmett was speaking quietly to Carlisle on his cell phone, trying to explain why they had to get home immediately. Jasper stood looking out into the woods where Seth had vanished. I heard Alice's concern before I heard the door open, she quietly came out onto the porch, and I heard Jacob as he became aware that she was watching him. It unnerved him, but he said nothing. After a long silent glance at Jacob, she made her way to Jasper's side, where he wrapped his arms around her, and kissed her on the top of her head as she leaned into the curve of his side.

It hadn't gone unnoticed by Jacob that Rosalie had not made an appearance. He was annoyed that she was protecting Bella from the wrong things, he felt that her perception was warped regarding the situation. I took a step forward, closing some of the distance between him and I. I needed to thank him, he had helped our family many times, and now even though he was angry, he had given up almost everything he was a part of to protect what I held dearest.

"This isn't the first time I've owed you my gratitude, Jacob." I said quietly, knowing that he would hear. "I never would have asked this from you." He had ripped apart his family, his friends, everything he knew, just to be here with us. He thought back to our earlier conversation in the day, and thought,_ Yeah you would._ He knew that, when it came to Bella, there was no line I wouldn't cross and I would do anything to protect her, as would he. I thought about that, and I had to concede that he was right, there was nothing that I wouldn't do to keep her safe, nothing was off limits, and I nodded. "I suppose you're right about that."

_This isn't the first time that I didn't do it for you,_ he thought in response to my statement." Right ", I said, knowing that he was protecting Bella as much as I was. Jacob jumped to another topic, feeling uncomfortable._ Sorry I didn't do any good today. Told you she wouldn't listen to me. _"I know." I responded grimly, "I never really believed she would. But..." _You had to try. I get it. She any better? _He asked, turning his head in my direction. I hadn't expected him to ask. "Worse ." I responded, hoping that he wouldn't see the pain that acknowledging that fact evoked inside of me.

Alice spoke up suddenly, "Jacob, would you mind switching forms? I want to know what's going on." Jacob shook his head and I answered for him. "He needs to stay linked to Seth." Alice glared at me, well aware that I knew what was going on. "Well, then would you be so kind as to tell me what's happening." She had every right to be annoyed with me. I knew that the wolves kept Alice blind to her visions, and my family needed to know what was happening. So I explained to her. "The pack thinks that Bella's become a problem. They foresee potential danger from the....from what she's carrying. They feel it's their duty to remove that danger. Jacob and Seth disbanded from the pack to warn us. The rest are planning to attack tonight."

Alice hissed, her thoughts racing with anger as she imagined the outcome of such a horrible event. She leaned away from me. Emmett and Jasper looked at one another, and then returned to their protective stances, watching the trees that surrounded our home. I heard Seth's sudden thoughts break into Jacob's mind._ Nobody out here_. _All is quiet on the western front_. Seth and Jacob discussed their next tactic. Emmett informed me that Carlisle and Esme were returning and that they would be here soon. Jasper spoke up quietly, but with conviction. "We should take up a defensive position." I nodded my agreement. "Let's get inside." Jacob informed me that he was going to run over the perimeter with Seth. He told me that if he got too far for me to hear his thoughts, I should listen for his howl.

We moved carefully in the direction of the house, none of us wanting to turn away from the threat that we knew was coming. Everyone eyed the forest, ever watchful. Once in the house, we took up positions near the windows. I didn't, however, as I knew that I would sense the minds of any wolves that got close enough. I almost got alarmed a few minutes later when I head Seth inform Jacob that something was coming, but I relaxed when I realized it was Carlisle and Esme returning home. I heard Carlisle's surprise as Seth shifted and explained the situation to them. Carlisle was worried about our family, and about the sacrifice that the wolves were making to help protect us.

Carlisle and Esme returned home, and Esme went right to Bella's side, checking to see how she was. She looked worse, if that was possible. Jacob and Seth moved in and out of range as they made widening circles around our home. I suddenly heard a piercing howl and I froze: were they coming? I moved to the window, straining to hear any conscious minds that might be nearing. Everyone sensed my unease and they shifted their focus to me, watching my every move. They had heard the howl in the distance, but only one mind was forthcoming: Jacob.

_False alarm, false alarm. Sorry. Seth is young. He forgets things. No one is attacking. False alarm._ His thoughts rang out in desperation, wanting to be sure that no one panicked. I could feel his annoyance at Seth as he sped towards us trying to fix his error. I looked out as he neared the house- he wanted to be sure that I heard him. _There's nothing out there- you got that?_ I nodded so he could see that I had indeed gotten what he was saying, and as I calmed, everyone in the room did the same.

Bella had started to writhe and moan on the couch, her body twisting unnaturally as the stomach moved and shifted, pushing her body to extremes. I turned to see what was happening. She cried out in softly in pain. I shudderd and turned back momentarily to wave Jacob away before moving into the house to Bella's side.. Jacob knew something was going on, but I was too occupied with what was happening to Bella to stop and explain. Carlisle spoke to Rosalie, telling her that Bella needed help, Rose started to argue, but Bella nodded her head as tears fought to escape from her eyes. Carlisle got Emmett, Jasper and Alice to go upstairs and to bring down the equipment from the room he had set up, while he and Esme move furniture aside to make room for it. In only minutes the living room had been transformed into a hospital room, with monitors flashing away and I.V.'s dripping. Rosalie had carefully moved Bella onto the bed, under my watchful eyes, and Carlisle had started another intravenous drip to try and keep her hydrated. He also gave her a small amount if morphine to attempt to ease her pain. She fell into a restless sleep as her pain lessened somewhat.

As she rested, I heard the questioning thoughts from my family about what had just happened with the wolves. "It was a false alarm" I explained, "Seth was upset about something, and he forgot we were listening for a signal. He's very young." I explained. Emmett spoke up annoyed, "Nice to have toddlers guarding the fort." He complained and I was not at all surprised to hear Carlisle speak up. His tone was calm, but just so, he was upset with Emmett. "They've done us a great service tonight Emmett, at a great personal sacrifice." I knew that Carlisle was as aware as I was of how much Jacob and Seth had given up to break away from their pack, to come and protect us. They had left family, friends, and their homes, in order to help us protect our family from an unknown threat. I also felt Jacob's thoughts as he heard Carlisle defend him and Seth.

He was closer to the house and he felt....awe, as he heard Carlisle speak up for him against his own son. I listened to the sadness in Carlisle's thoughts a he thought about how much Jacob and Seth had walked away from just to protect our family from their own friends, and he was truly touched. Emmett looked down at the floor, realizing how childish his comment had been. "Yeah, I know. I'm just jealous. Wish I was out there." Emmett looked contrite, as he should for insulting those who sought to aid us. I heard Seth's thoughts at the same time as Jacob, "Seth doesn't think that Sam will attack now, not with us forewarned, and lacking two members of the pack." Carlisle looked at me, "What does Jacob think?" I reached out to Jacob for an answer. He was almost to the house now and I knew he had heard Carlisle's question. Jacob didn't agree with Seth, still worried that Sam might try something before dawn. "He's not as optimistic." I answered.

I moved to touch Bella's hand, but Rosalie moved to intercept me. "Don't touch her! You'll wake her up." She whispered fiercely at me. I sighed, wishing that the ground would open up and swallow her whole, just so I could have a moment of peace without her presence. "Rosalie." Carlisle said softly, but she cut him off. "Don't start with me, Carlisle. We let you have your way earlier, but that's all we're allowing." Rosalie seemed to think that she and Bella were one now, as she stood in front of me speaking for my wife. However, I was not going to fight with her, Bella needed her rest, and I would hate myself even more than I already did if I caused her any more undue stress.

I sensed Jacob's presence just outside of the house, and through his thoughts I could see him looking into the room through the large window. He was so surprised by the change that he thought it was the wrong room, until he saw Bella curled up on the small hospital- style bed. He took in the monitors, the lights, and worst of all, the unsteady sounds coming from Bella's body. I turned as Bella started to choke in her sleep. I moved to her side in an instant, seeing Rosalie do the same. Bella's body jolted as she whimpered in her unconsciousness. Rosalie gently ran her fingers over Bella's brow. She was thinking about how proud she was of Bella, and how no matter what happened, she would make sure that she didn't sacrifice herself in vain. I stiffened, hearing her telling my Bella how she would protect her baby. How could she not see that Bella was more important than this unknown thing inside of her? I couldn't keep the rage off of my face as I looked at her. Emmett suddenly stepped between me and his wife. He held his hands up towards me. "Not tonight, Edward. We've got other things to worry about."

I turned away from him, his thoughts bothering me more than his words. _I know you're mad at her, but right now it is about everyone, not just Bella._ Nothing mattered to me more than Bella. Everyone else could protect themselves, or they had a mate to stand with them. Bella couldn't do anything, but suffer. Once again I was bringing more pain and suffering upon her. I turned away, only to find myself looking into Jacob's eyes as he gazed upon the scene before him. He dropped away from the window, turning to run away on all four paws. He was going to find Seth, running so he could get away from the suffering he saw Bella going through.

He knew I was right that she was indeed worse, and he was going to focus on protecting her. I felt helpless, I wanted to protect her too. And yet it was as if everyone was taking that away from me. I went upstairs to my room, the anger I was feeling had made my mouth flood with venom, and I knew just what to do with it. I closed my door, and made my way to the drawer that held my one hope. I pulled out the smooth metal cylinder, it felt even cooler then before, but it showed no signs of stress from its contents. I used the syringe end to draw out the excess liquid in my mouth, feeling its added weight in the container. I was not going to leave it up to my family to protect Bella with out my help. I would do what ever I could to help her.

I placed the syringe back into my drawer, closing it gently, then I leaned against the wall. I thought about how long Bella had been asking me to change her. I had fought her for so long, . even only agreeing to it reluctantly to make her happy. I had still planned to hold her off as long as I could. I had always assumed that I could be happy with her staying human forever, until her life saw its natural end. However, now that I was faced with her immortality, I knew that I had been lying to myself. I had waited for her for so long, I could not have only a few tender years with her and then let her go. I wanted her, forever. Souls be damned, I was too selfish even to allow her that. I wanted her to be mine forever, to watch the years pass us by, to visit the world, to have to hold forevermore. I couldn't give her up. She had seen it all along, she had seen our love for what it was, a gift to be cherished for an eternity together. For all her humanity and youth, she was far wiser then me.

I would prepare myself then, to save her, to make her one of us. I couldn't imagine that, even if I didn't have a soul; my giving, innocent Bella would. She would never be the monster I was, it wasn't possible, she was too good. I would protect her from herself until she developed control over her urges. I wouldn't let her have the guilt that I carried from the mistakes I had made. I would love her, for as long as she would have me.

********************Special Note**************************************

This story has 96 reviews!!! Let us see if we can push it over a hundred!!!! The next chapter is the one where they decide to try to get Bella to drink blood! Stay tuned.


	21. Chapter 22

**A/N Thanks so much for all of the wonderful reviews. I apologize for the grammatical errors early on in this story; I was working with no Beta, and therefore, consistently messing up. However now I have the wonderful Cullenfest to thanks for her editing. We are half a world apart, but we work to get the story chapters to you quickly. I also wanted to remind people to keep reading the stories from Daddy's Little Cannibal. She was a wonderful fan fiction writer who lost her life earlier in the year, so please don't forget her. **

**I also recommend stories from Megsly and from .Cantante.83, their stories are wonderful this chapter will have a new point of view, but then it will return to Edward, it helps me get all the information out. Please keep reading!**

Chapter 21

Carlisle's POV

I had never felt at such a loss in my existence. I was normally able to guide my children along in their life, to offer them help in making wise choices, to aid them with living a humane existence, that contrasted with others of our kind. I had been able to see my family through decades of confusion, learning, and understanding. However, even my knowledge had its limits. Inside my very own home, was living breathing evidence, that I was failing my family. Bella was dying, and I, as a doctor who had dedicated myself to helping humans, was able to do nothing. The only thing that I could do to be sure of her surviving this ordeal was to remove the fetus that grew within her. And that was one thing that I was not allowed to do.

I had been willing to help when I thought that she and Edward were in agreement about the situation, but that had long since been revealed to not be the case. Bella was not going to give up on bringing Edward's child into this world. Her love to him was so devoted, just as it was to their child. Bella was pushing herself beyond her human limits, and I was not sure how much more she could take. Esme was fraught with worry. I hated to see her suffer, but she was a true mother, wanting to protect all the members of her family, a family that continued to grow.

Esme was wracked with worry for Bella and her suffering. Worry for Edward and the fact that he may lose the woman he loves so completely. Worry for Alice, who was upset at not being able to see what was going to happen to the family. Worry for Jasper for all of the stress he was suffering. Worry for Rosalie and the emotional upset this situation was bringing to a head.

Esme was so caring; she even worried for the wolves, as did I. They had given everything up in order to help protect our children, risking losing everything they had. When Seth had popped out from the bushes to explain his and Jacob's presence, I had been shocked that the pack had planned to attack, but so thankful for the dedication of the two young men who believed in our family. I had spent much of the day in my study, going over and over every book I owned, from medical books, to mythology. There were details of legends, but not much else, nothing concrete for me to base the treatment of my daughter on. I was working in the dark, and nothing seemed to be helping Bella. She wouldn't last much longer if the child kept growing at this rate, and she was unable to start giving it proper nourishment.

I had been thinking hard of other things, so Edward would not pick up on my worries. I had learned when he was only a newborn how to shield my mind from him, but rarely had I had the need to use the technique. The mind processes things in different ways; Edwards's ability allows him to see the thoughts in the foremost of your mind, so if you harbored something deeply in your mind, being careful to think of other things as a protective screen Edward would only sense the more fleeting thoughts. I loathed doing this as it made me feel as though I was deceiving him. I however was trying to give him and Bella what little peace of mind I could during this uncertain time.

I had journeyed downstairs to check how Bella was doing. She was awake now, I checked her pulse, noting how thread it was; her heart was pushing itself too hard. I could see the tell-tale signs that her body was weakening even further. Bella never complained through her check up, her eyes taking in each movement I made. Then after I finished checking Bella over and noticing that she was worse than a few short hours ago, I felt a sense of weariness come over me. My mind had been trying to focus on finding some sort of solution, but kept coming up empty. Edward quietly informed me that Jacob was coming. I looked at Bella, and Edward's drawn face, and I knew that he did not wish to leave her side. "I will go and see what news he has," I offered. I hoped that perhaps the change of scene might give me some much required inspiration. I was rather surprised when I found myself nearly face to face with Jacob, who had been closer than I had realized.

The poor boy looked startled, worried, and as tired physically, as I was mentally. "Are you alright, Jacob?" I asked. "Is Bella?" He asked his voice heavy with trepidation, his voice sounding forced. I thought for a moment, careful to word things in a manner that would not increase the boys stress beyond its current state. "She's… much the same as last night. Did I startle you? I'm sorry. Edward said you were coming in your human form, and I came out to greet you, as he didn't want to leave her. She's awake." I said, trying to ease the poor boys' tension. Jacob stood there glancing at the house as he shifted from foot to foot uncomfortably. He looked exhausted. Finally he seemed to give in to his weariness as he took a step forward, than he sat down on the porch steps, leaning hard on the railing. I sat down beside him, not wanting him to feel disempowered. I spoke first, trying to ease his mind somewhat. "I didn't get a chance to thank you last night, Jacob. You don't know how much I appreciate your…compassion. I know your goal was to protect Bella, but I owe you the safety of the rest of my family as well. Edward told me what you had to do…."

"Don't mention it." Jacob muttered, I think he was trying not to focus on what he had given up quite yet. "If you prefer." I answered him quietly. I sat with him on the steps, neither one of us talking. I could hear my family speaking in soft voices in the house, and I knew that Jacob could hear as well. If he heard as well as I assumed he was capable of then he must hear how erratic Bella's heartbeat was at this moment. It was working in over drive. Jacob's hands clenched into fists against his legs, even in his worn out state his worry for Bella shone like a beacon.

I was sure he felt the same helplessness that I did, and I wondered if he knew that he wasn't alone in his concerns. "I wish I could get a better idea of what exactly it is," I said quietly, wanting him to know that I too felt the frustration of not knowing what to do for the young woman who had come to mean so much to all of us."The fetus is well protected. I haven't been able to produce an ultrasonic image. I doubt there is any way to get a needle through the amniotic sac, but Rosalie won't agree to let me try, in any case." Jacob looked up at me through weary, but confused eyes. "A needle? What good would that do?" He asked. I had to explain, "The more I know about the fetus, the better I can estimate what it will be capable of. What I wouldn't give for even a little amniotic fluid. If I knew even the chromosomal count…."I drifted off thinking about how much help that little bit of knowledge would provide, until Jacob's words brought me back to the here and now."You're losing me, Doc. Can you dumb it down?" Jacob said, making me realize that I was using medical terms that not everyone was familiar with.

I chuckled, Jacob had provided me with a moment of much needed light heartedness. "Okay, how much biology have you taken? Did you study chromosomal pairs?" I asked him. "Think so. We have twenty-three pairs right?" Jacob asked. "Humans do." I replied. Jacob suddenly sat up straighter on the steps as he blinked. "How many do you have?" He asked me. "Twenty-five." I answered matter of factly. Jacob frowned at my answer. "What does that mean?" He asked looking me squarely in the eyes. "I thought it meant that our species were almost completely different. Less related than a lion and a house cat. But this new life-well, it suggests that we are more genetically compatible than I'd thought." I sighed, remembering the false sense of security I had had when talking to Edward about his wedding night. I had expected them to have concerns, but pregnancy hadn't been one of them. "I didn't know to warn them." I said to myself.

Jacob sighed then as well, but said nothing in response to my confession. "It might help to know what the count was –whether the fetus was closer to us or to her. To know what to expect." I shrugged then, and continued, "And maybe it wouldn't help anything. I guess I just wish I had something to study, anything to do." Anything would make me feel better than sitting here helplessly while Bella's body slowly failed her. Jacob seemed lost in deep thought for a moment, his brow wrinkling. "Wonder what my chromosomes are like," He said, wondering aloud.

I knew what his chromosomes were like, I had been too curious not to check, I figured that now was as good a time to tell him as any other time was. I cleared my throat, wanting him to know that he should pay attention to what I was going to say. "You have twenty-four pairs, Jacob." I said uncomfortably. Jacob looked at me, his eyebrows raising questionably at me. I was ashamed to admit that I had done something without his permission that pertained to him. "I was…curious. I took the liberty when I was treating you last June." I waited for Jacob to rage at me, I had done something to him without his permission, and most people would be angry, I waited for him to yell. Instead he shrugged it off, "I guess that should piss me off. But I really don't care." He stated simply

"I'm sorry, I should have asked." I apologized, thankful that he wasn't upset. "S'okay, Doc. You didn't mean any harm." Jacob said in a very forgiving manner, maybe he was simply too tired to be upset with me. I wasn't sure so I spoke further, "No, I promise you that I did not mean you any harm. It's just that…. I find your species fascinating. I suppose that the elements of vampiric nature have come to seem commonplace to me over the centuries. Your family's divergence from humanity is much more interesting. Magical, almost." I wanted him to understand that I only wanted to know more about them, their phasing was a part of their genetics, whereas we had to suffer though a forced change to become what we were. The fact that their gifts were built in to their DNA made me very impressed.

"Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo," Jacob mumbled back at me, and I laughed again, even in this stress Jacob was lighthearted, it was easy to see why Bella enjoyed him so much. I stopped short as I heard Edward speaking noticeably louder from inside the house, Jacob also turned to listen. "I'll be right back, Bella. I want to speak with Carlisle for a moment. Actually Rosalie, would you mind accompanying me? Had I just imagined it, or did Edward sound a bit different, his voice seemed lighter than it had been in weeks? I wondered if I had missed something, "What is it?" I heard Bella ask Edward, her voice cracking with the effort of speech. Edward's response was swift, and soothing. "Nothing you need to worry about , love. It will just take a second. Please, Rose?"

I heard Rose call to Esme, asking her to sit with Bella, she would not leave Bella unattended for even a moment. I heard then gentle tread of my love descending the staircase as she responded." Of course." I turned to watch the door with Jacob. It was barely a moment before Edward appeared followed by Rosalie. I inhaled sharply as I looked at Edward's face, his face was animated, his eyes shining, he seemed intent on something. Rosalie followed, on her guard. Edward closed the door gently, than he turned to me. "Carlisle," He said quickly. "What is it Edward?" I asked. My curiosity was piqued, I wondered what was going on in his mind. "Perhaps we have been going about this the wrong way. I was listening to you and Jacob just now, and when you were speaking of what the……….fetus wants, Jacob had an interesting thought."

I looked at Jacob in surprise, but he seemed as shocked as I was. Jacob's eyes seemed to become unfocused as if he were running over our previous conversation in his mind. "We haven't actually addressed that angle," Edward said continuing. I wasn't understanding what he meant though. Edward seemed as if he might burst with the information he was trying to convey. "We've been trying to get Bella what she needs. And her body is accepting it as well as one of ours would. Perhaps we should address the needs of the …..fetus first." Maybe if we can satisfy it, we'll be able to help her more effectively." I wasn't sure if I was following him correctly. "I'm not following you, Edward." I said slowly. I wanted more details. "Think about it, Carlisle. If the creature is more vampire than human, can't you guess what it craves-what it's not getting? Jacob did." I suddenly understood, he was saying that the growing child needed blood, just like we did.

"Oh, "I said, "You think it is…thirsty?" Rosalie hissed at Edward under her breath, her face suddenly radiant with joy. "Of course!" she murmured, "Carlisle, we have all that type O negative laid aside for Bella. It's a good idea." Rosalie didn't even look at Jacob to recognize that the idea had been his, but everyone seemed happier at the idea that we had something new to do to try and help Bella. My mind had moved onto other problematic things though, ad Edward was watching me, following my thoughts, his eyes were almost wild. "Hmmm," I thought aloud as a rubbed my hand across my chin. "I wonder …..And then what would be the best way to administer…..?" I was halfway between thoughts and speech as I tried to think of the easiest way to ask a human to drink blood.

Rosalie shook her head, interrupting my thoughts, "We don't have time to be creative. I'd say we should start with the traditional way." Jacob looked at her, his face clearly showing his disgust at the idea of what we were thinking. "Wait a minute," He spoke up in a fierce whisper, "Just hold on. Are you- are you talking about making Bella drink blood?" Rosalie finally turned to acknowledge his presence, yet was not actually looking at him, "It was your idea, dog." She said with a scowl. Jacob turned to me, his eyes searching my face for something, his lips pursed. "That's just…" He started, but seemed unable to finish. Edward finished for him. "Monstrous? Repulsive?" He suggested to Jacob. Jacob looked at Edward, "pretty much." He replied.

Edward looked at him, that maniacal spark still gleaming. "But what if it helps her?" He whispered, looking at Jacob. It was as if Rosalie and I had disappeared and it was just the two men who loved Bella, trying to come to terms to with this idea. Jacob shook his head, his face angry. "What are you going to do, shove it down her throat?" Edward shook his head at Jacob's question. "I plan to ask her what she thinks. I just wanted to run it past Carlisle first." Rosalie nodded emphatically, her long hair bobbing with the rapid movements. "If you tell her it might help the baby, she'll be willing to do anything. Even if we do have to feed them through a tube." Rosalie had a point I realized, Bella had shown herself to do whatever it took to help her child, if this could possibly help, she would probably be more than willing to try it. If my opinion was asked, I would be honest and say that this was as good an idea as any we had had so far. Now to wait and see what would be decided.

____________________________________________________________________

Edward's POV

Jacob was disgusted by Rosalie commenting about the baby, I had to agree, but right now that was not my focus. I was going to do whatever it took to help Bella, and if the only way to do so was to help the thing growing inside her, then so be it. Jacob was focused on Rosalie, his thoughts wondering if Rosalie would do anything to help the life-sucking thing growing in my wife, he wondered why Rosalie was so interested in the child. His thoughts suddenly wondered about whether she was after the kid, and I subtly nodded once to answer his question as best as I could without speaking aloud, and angering Rosalie. I needed her support if this was to work, but I'd rather have everyone agreeing to make this go more smoothly.

Jacob imagined Rosalie forcing a tube down Bella's throat to make her eat if it came to that, and I could not respond except to frown slightly. Jacob watched my face intently, he knew that I was following his thoughts right now. Rosalie interrupted impatiently, "Well, we don't have time to sit around discussing this," Rosalie said. "What do you think Carlisle? Can we try?" Carlisle took a deep breath and got to his feet. "We'll ask Bella." Was his quick reply. Rosalie smiled smugly, her thoughts were victorious. She was sure that if Bella was informed about how this could help the ….fetus, that she would say yes. _As soon as Bella hears this idea she will say yes. Why didn't I think of that, of course the baby needs blood, it is half vampire. That baby will get what it needs if it's the last thing I do…_

I tuned out Rose's thoughts, the thing growing inside my wife was not what concerned me, My wife was. And right now we had a possible plan. We followed Carlisle into the house, first Rosalie, then myself, and even Jacob followed, though he was not sure why he was, as he found the whole idea sickening. Inside Bella lay flat on the hospital bed that we had set up the day before, she had been too weak to even sit up without help today. Her belly made the sheet protrude above her slight frame, making her seem even smaller than usual, the sight made me cringe internally, but I pushed it aside, I would only focus on this new hope that was fluttering inside me, the hope that we would get through this.

I had begun collecting my venom the day before, and had continued through the day. Due to my infrequent hunting, my venom was currently plentiful, a sign that I needed to hunt. But I would not leave her if I could avoid it. I was not sure how much venom was enough, but I was sure that too much was better than not enough, so I would gather whatever I could. I turned my attention back to what we were about to ask, letting my eyes rove over Bella's form laying deathly still on the bed. If it weren't for her loudly hammering heart, and her eyes glancing at the four of us entering the house, I would have thought her dead. Stop! I berated myself, she is not dead yet. Instead I forced myself to focus on her eyes. Even as tired as they were, they still held their usual warmth, the rich chocolate color helped me focus on the task at hand.

We moved to her side, Rosalie and I moving to the side of her head, both of us vying to be closest to her, while Jacob stood a bit further back, hesitant to get too close. "What's going on?" Bella asked her voice rising a bit as she tried to make it loud. "Jacob had an idea that might help you," Carlisle answered her. Jacob had no desire to be given the credit for his thought. "It won't be …pleasant, but," Carlisle started. "But it will help the baby," Rosalie interrupted Carlisle cheerily. "We've thought of a better way to feed him. Maybe." She added looking at Bella.

Bella's eyes fluttered open a bit wider. And she let out a weak laugh, a laugh that made her sound as if she were choking. "Not pleasant?" She whispered eyeing me, then in turn, Jacob. "Gosh that'll be such a change." She said, a poor attempt at humor, as she eyed the tube that was strapped uncomfortably to her pale skin of her arm. Then she barked that awful laugh again. Rosalie merrily laughed along with her, making me wish to reach across then bed to quiet her, there was nothing humorous about this. I forced myself to stay still. Jacob noticed the lack of humor on my face as I stepped around Rosalie. I took her frail hand in mine, noticing that her other hand was still protectively caressing her swollen stomach. "Bella, love, we are going to ask you to do something monstrous," I used the same words I had offered Jacob, I wanted him to know that I didn't think lightly of what we were asking her to do. It also let me voice his opinion without letting her know how he felt about it. "Repulsive." I added, trying to make sure she understood just how real this was.

Bella took a breath, and focused on me, her eyes tracing my face before she asked, "How bad?" Carlisle answered, saving me from being the one to talk about that thing inside her. "We think the fetus might have an appetite closer to ours than to yours. We think it's thirsty." Bella blinked as she took in what Carlisle was saying. "Oh. _OH!"_ Carlisle continued, "Your condition- both of your conditions-are deteriorating rapidly. We don't have time to waste, to come up with more palatable ways to do this. The fastest way to test this theory-" He paused. "I've got to drink it." Bella finished for him in a whisper. Bella nodded ever so slightly, then said, "I can do that. Practice for the future right?" She smiled up at me, her lips drawn tightly into a weak smile. She hadn't even faltered against the idea for a moment, she really would do anything, as long as it would help the thing that grew inside her.

I couldn't return her smile, as much as I was happy that this could help her, it may not help, but she hadn't hesitated for even a mere second before agreeing t it. Rosalie started tapping her toe annoyingly, she was impatient to try out this theory. Jacob was ready to throw her though a wall, that did make me want to smile. "So who is going to catch me a grizzly bear?" Bella asked softly. I glanced at Carlisle, and he returned my gaze unwaveringly, we both were thinking the same thought. The creature would not want animal blood, that was something we had had years to acclimatize ourselves to, this thing would want human blood.

Bella noticed our glance, as always, she was ever perceptive. "What? "She asked. Was this the moment that she would balk at the idea? Would she realize that this thing was not like us, it was a monster. "It would be a more effective test if we don't cut corners, Bella." Carlisle said trying to clarify. "If the fetus is craving blood," I explained, "it's not craving animal blood." Would she now see that this was not a rosy cheeked innocent child she carried, but a life sucking monster? "It won't make a difference to you, Bella. Don't think about it. " Rosalie encouraged Bella.

Bella eyes widened, it was obvious that it would matter to her. "Who?" She breathed, her glanced flickered to Jacob, did she think he had offered his blood? Jacob must have thought the same as he roughly said, "I'm not here as a donor, Bells. Sides it's human blood that thing's after, and I don't think mine applies-" Jacob thoughts touched back on what he had learned about his chromosomes from Carlisle earlier. "We have blood on hand," Rosalie told her, cutting off Jacob, whose anger at her was increasing. He couldn't stand Rosalie, and I couldn't say that his animosity towards her bothered me at all. "For you- just in case. Don't worry about anything at all. It's going to be fine. I have a good feeling about this, Bella. I think the baby will be so much better." Rosalie rushed on, ignoring Jacob's angry glare.

Bella ran her hand over her belly once again. "Well, "She said in a raspy voice, "I'm starving, so I'll bet he is, too." Bella was trying to make jokes again, and I didn't find any humor in them, nor did Jacob. "Let's go for it. My first vampire act." I shouldn't have been surprised that she would be so willing, but then this was Bella- when had she ever done what I had expected of her? I watched Rosalie and Carlisle run off to get things ready, and I hoped. I hoped that this would be a turning point, hoped that this would bring about a change. It was then that I realized I was finally feeling something other than the self loathing that had been eating me alive for weeks. Hope. I embraced it, if hope was all I had left, I would give myself to it, and see what it brought.


	22. Chapter 23

**A/N Sorry that this chapter has taken a while, life happens sometimes and makes time to write impossible. I am going to try and get to the point that Edward hears the baby, but I might have to glaze over a bit of stuff from the story in order to do so, as it is almost a hundred pages past this point in the story. So I will see what I can do. Doing this story has been really difficult because I have to follow the words and actions from the original, so I can expand on what the characters were thinking.**

**Not that my delay needs to be excused, but I am preparing for my first ever workshop for Early childhood Educators, about how to explore other time periods with school aged children. My school aged program at work has become in such high demand that we are expanding in size on November 2****nd****, so I am now setting up and prepping a second classroom. I also am a mom, and a wife, amongst other things, and very sick, m y husband thinks it's swine flu(I don't)…lol…..so life has to happen. Once again I appreciate everybody's patience.**

**P.S Thanks go out to Cullenfest for editing for me, she is awesome, and she has written her first fan fic, that is a steamy version of Edward and Bella's time in their cottage after her change.**

Chapter 22

Edward's POV

I tried to tune out the thoughts of those around me, though that was easier said than done. Rosalie was practically singing her happiness as she and Carlisle debated how to serve Bella her first taste of human blood. Jacob was cringing in his mind as he thought about what was about to take place, wondering what other morbid stuff we vampires had in our home. I focused my mind on Bella, trying to read her expressions. Here she was about to do the unthinkable as a human. She was going to have to partake in a meal of human blood to feed the monster growing in her womb. I hope that this would work the way I envisioned it. If this was what the fetus desired then maybe we could take care of its needs, allowing us to focus more on Bella. Her body seemed to be collapsing upon itself further with each passing hour.

I let myself get lost simply staring into the depths of Bella's eyes. They were so warm, so deep. The emotions they conveyed with a simple glance made my dead heart stutter to life. The feeling overwhelmed me each and every time. Bella's face was still, but her eyes betrayed her uncertainty about what was about to come. In the silence that lingered between us, I tried to convey back to her how proud I was of her, how strong I knew she was, and how much I needed her.

Jacob's thoughts kept me from lapsing back down into my usual depth of self pity as he thought about Bella and I, and how akin we were to Sam and Emily. Then he thought of Leah. The pain that love can bring, and how it is almost causes the same amount of pain as it does pleasure for some. His thoughts lapsed to thoughts of his pack, and I pulled away from his mind to allow him his privacy. The sound of Rosalie's light feet drew my attention. She was searching in the cupboard to find a cup to serve Bella the blood that had been heated for her. I had horrible images of how Bella would react at the sight of blood, recalling how she had all but passed out the day the class had done blood typing in Biology. Bella's body couldn't handle any additional stress right now. "Not clear, Rosalie." I murmured quietly in response to the question she has been asking herself about what sort of glass she should use to serve the blood in. I rolled my eyes at Rosalie's thoughts in response to what I had said. _She is going to have to get used to the sight of blood Edward, it is what the baby wants._

I was going to try to make this as easy for Bella as I could. Bella's eyebrows furrowed as she looked at me questioningly, but I shook my head to let her know that it wasn't worth relating. Bella turned to Jacob, "This was your idea?" She said quietly, trying to force some strength into her voice to make herself heard. Jacob's thoughts made me giggle as he realized that she was trying to make her voice loud enough for him to hear her, and he laughed internally knowing that he could hear her voice no matter how soft. Bella often did the same with me, forgetting our ability to hear even the slightest of noises, though I loved to hear the little things that she would mutter under hear breath when she forgot that I would hear her.

"Don't blame me for this one. Your vampire was just picking snide comments out of my head." Jacob responded, not wanting any of the credit for this experiment. Bella smiled at him. "I didn't expect to see you again." She said, her voice betraying her sadness at the thought of losing her best friend, despite her faint smile." Yeah, me, either." Jacob replied quietly. He was feeling uncomfortable standing in the mock hospital room, he was exhausted. "Edward told me what you had to do. I'm sorry." Bella said sadly. Jacob shrugged off her concern, "S'okay. It was probably only a matter of time till I snapped over something Sam wanted me to do." I knew that Jacob was lying to her, even though he acted as if it was not a big deal to him. Bella didn't seem to believe him either, and she continued prodding him for information. "And Seth," she whispered. "He is actually happy to help." Jacob replied, this time fully honest. Seth had never had the same feeling towards us as the others. He had a very open soul, judging other by their actions, not by what he was told. He was like a little brother, and we all cared for him.

I turned my thoughts away from their conversation for a moment thinking about how each of the wolves seemed to be touched differently by our family, some driven by their instincts, while other seemed to keep more of a hold on their human nature. But when I heard Bella gasp I turned, reading Jacobs thoughts to see what I had missed. Bella was wondering when Leah had joined up with Jacob's small pack. "You didn't tell her?" He asked me with an amused expression. I simply shrugged as I watched her face, not worrying now that I knew it wasn't something concerning Bella.

"Why?" Bella had asked, her mouth hanging open in surprise as she breathed out the word. "To keep an eye on Seth." Jacob answered simply. "But Leah hates us," Bella whispered again, she seemed genuinely confused by this turn of events. I chose to ignore how Jacob lingered on how he disliked Bella using the word us, when referring to me and my family. "Leah's not going to bug anyone, she's in my pack-so she follows my lead." I heard Jacob's displeasure in his thoughts about the fact that now he now had to deal with the ever irritable Leah Clearwater on a daily basis. Bella didn't seem to believe his words of assurance. The expression on her face was unsure. Jacob seemed amused. "You're scared of Leah, but your best buds with the psychopath blonde? He said with a smirk. Then his face broke out into a smile as he realized that Rosalie had heard him, and was not happy with his comment.

Bella suddenly became defensive, "Don't. Rose….understands." She said staring at Jacob with stern eyes. "Yeah," He responded with a grunt, "She understands that your gonna die, and she doesn't care, s'long as she gets her mutant spawn out of the deal." Jacob's voice was thick as he spoke up. "Stop being a jerk, Jacob," Bella said quietly, her voice hardening in anger. Jacob quickly realized his words were getting her upset, and he changed his tactics before I could even intercede. "You say that like it's possible." He said giving a smile to appease her. Bella tried to resist his attempt to make her smile, but even as angry as she was at his words, she gave in and gave a weak smile back.

Just then Carlisle and Rosalie cane back into the room. Carlisle held a white plastic cup in his hand, I was glad to see that Rosalie had indeed not put it into a see through cup, in fact she had even put a lid on it, and used a opaque straw, I heard Jacob's thoughts as he realized why I had said "not clear" earlier. He also understood my reasoning behind it, showing once again how well he knew Bella. Carlisle stopped for a moment, his arm frozen, partially extended towards Bella who was eyeing it, her eyes wide open. "We could try another method," He said to her, though his thoughts told me that this would most likely be the most successful plan we had, and he hoped she would try it. "No," Bella said softly, her voice barely a whisper. "No, I'll try this first. We don't have time…" Bella let her thoughts drift into silence, and I searched in vain to hear her thoughts, hearing only the familiar silence that met me as always.

Jacob was hoping that she was coming to her senses, but I knew better, her hand moved to her belly, stroking the side softly, as if to comfort the beast within. Bella reached out for the cup, her hand was shaking as her fingers extended out to grasp it. I was thankful for Bella's less than sensitive hearing as I heard the liquid splash inside the cup. She tried to push herself up to reach the last few inches, but she could barely move, her health had gone continuously downhill. With each passing hour her skin seemed more transparent and her eyes duller. This just had to work, I watched with rapt attention as the gravity of the situation weighed me down. Bella's life balanced on such a fine line at this point, and I worried that with even on more misstep she would be lost.

I moved to help her up, but Rose was already at her side, her arm under Bella's shoulders, supporting her light frame.. "Thanks," Bella whispered to Rose. Bella's eyes were the last thing that held any semblance of strength in them, and even now they moved from face to face around the room. Rose noticed Bella's wary glance and told her, "Don't mind them." In a quiet murmur. Jacob was thinking that he should have left, he was unsure why he bothered to stay, and torture himself, but he rationalized he was staying to support Bella, I knew that he was staying because deep down he wanted this to work, to help her get better, he didn't want to lose her anymore than I did.

Bella lifted the cup slowly, it almost seemed as if it was too heavy for her weak limbs to lift, but she managed to raise it to the level of her face. She sniffed delicately at the end of the white straw that protruded from the closed lid, and momentarily I saw her face blanch. She flinched ever so subtly as she smelled the fragrance she had described to me as rust and salt, and her lips pulled down into a grimace as her nose wrinkled. I should never have brought Jacob's thought s up, here I was exposing her to something that I knew she couldn't stand. "Bella, sweetheart, we can find an easier way, " I said holding out my hand for the cup. I was giving her an out, though if Bella stayed true to form she would take it as a challenge.

"Plug your nose," Rosalie said, glaring at me. _Edward stop, you know this is what the baby needs, and it will make things better for Bella, so just give it a rest already!_ I was ready to snap back at her when Bella spoke again. "No, that's not it. It's just that it-" Bella stopped and took a deep breath. "It smells good," She said so softly, that it almost seemed as if she was ashamed with herself. Jacob was disgusted but Rosalie was euphoric with happiness. "That's a good thing," Rose told Bella as she practically danced in place. "That means we're on the right track. Give it a try." Rose was trying to convince Bella to drink it before anyone else could convince her not to.

Bella closed her eyes, giving us a good look at her dark eyelids, they were so dark, it was as if she wore eye shadow, it was only the dark veins that gave away the fact that this was more from sickness and exhaustion than from cosmetics. She pushed the straw into her mouth and wrinkled her nose. As she sipped the liquid it sloshed around against the walls of the cup. Her hand continued its tremors as she held onto the cup as if were a life preserver, her knuckles white from the strain. A soft moan escaped from her lips, muffled against the straw. I immediately expected the worst and moved forward, and placed a hand against her cheek, hoping the coolness of my touch would ward off any nausea. "Bella, love-" I started, wanting to tell her that she didn't need to do this. We would try another way. I worried for a moment that I had actually just made the whole situation worse. "I'm okay," She whispered. Her face portrayed a plethora of emotions, fear, embarrassment, sadness, joy. "It tastes good, too." She said softly.

I refused to get excited, though this was a good sign. I could feel the array of thoughts around me, from Carlisle's wary relief, to Jacob's through disgust. Rosalie was quick to respond. 'That's good, a good sign." I chose to ignore them all, focusing on the feeling of Bella's skin against my hand, I curled my finger against her smooth, warm skin, relishing in its texture, and letting myself hope that this might in fact be the beginning of Bella improving, but tempering that hope with reality, in order to keep myself grounded. Bella sighed and let her lips pull on the straw again. Her body seemed to instinctively set to work trying to gain some crucially needed sustenance.

"How is your stomach? Do you feel nauseated? Carlisle asked, both out of knowledge and curiosity. Bella shook her head from side to side. "No, I don't feel sick. There's a first, eh?" She replied. Rosalie absolutely glowed, already viewing this as a complete success. "Excellent," she stated. Carlisle glanced at her, his face the mask of calm. "I think it is a bit early for that, Rose" Carlisle murmured. Bella took another sip, then turned to me, her eyes wide with alarm. "Does this screw my total?" she whispered frantically. "Or do we start counting after I'm a vampire?" I responded quickly, not wanting her to get too worked up, "No one is counting, Bella," I told her soothingly, "In any case , no one died for this. Your record is still clean." Jacob followed this exchange with a quizzical look. "I'll explain later, I said too low for Bella to hear. Now was not the time to explain to our werewolf alliance that Bella was worried about how many humans she might kill as a newborn vampire. Bella noticed something had just been related between Jacob and myself, and I passed it off as just talking to myself, while Jacob got a laugh thinking that I was going to have improve my ability to lie when Bella became a vampire as she was just to perceptive.

It became apparent quickly that Bella's body was indeed handling the blood well, she managed to finish the whole glass, and to keep it down. She had been pleased with herself, and after a short time we gave her more. The blood quickly impacted her system, even bringing color back to her overly- pale cheeks. The brightness was returning to her eyes, and her strength seemed to be returning, allowing her to move around on her bed unaided by Rosalie. Carlisle even removed some of her . I couldn't believe the difference it was making in such a short time. I owed Jacob my gratitude for thinking about this idea, no matter what caused it to flash through his mind in the first place. After finishing a second cup of blood, we waited for a short time before deciding what to try next. When asked how she felt Bella admitted to feeling hungry, so it was decided to make her some human food to accommodate her human needs as well.

Bella chose to have eggs, and she gave me a look from under heavily lidded eyes, and a faint blush crept into her now semi--rosy cheeks. I knew what she was thinking about, and the fact that she was able to think about such a pleasurable time in our short marriage enabled me to smile in return. The small flicker of hope that had been faintly growing inside of me was now starting to burn steadily.

After seeing Bella improving Jacob's stress eased off, allowing his truly exhausted state to become apparent, and we promised that we would keep watch over everything so he could go and get some rest. As he prepared to leave two howls flooded through the house. Jacob muttered under his breath as he launched himself off of the porch phasing in mid stride, ruining his last set of clothes in the process. I listened in tensely to his thoughts, as he set off to meet Seth, who was coming to inform him that other wolves were approaching. I remained calm beside Bella, sensing my family's nerves as they waited for what could possibly be a war to break out around us. I stroked Bella's cheek, overjoyed internally to feel the heat that once again flooded her skin from the simplest of my touches.

Jacob had promised to return as soon as he knew what was going on, and then he and Seth had run off into the forest. Surprisingly I was able to hear much of what was happening, since being around Jacob's mind so much seemed to make it easier to hear him from further away than usual. We all behaved as normally as we could for Bella's sake. I kept everyone updated to what I heard from Jacob, but I did it quietly, not wanting to alarm Bella. We were pleased to learn that for the time being, at least, the La Push pack was going to hold off on starting a war. After it became apparent that her body was going to actually keep down the food that she had eaten, along with the blood that she had drunk, she insisted that she shouldn't need to sit in bed anymore. Emmett ,Esme and Carlisle quickly returned the living room to its previously immaculate state while Jasper and Alice returned all of the medical supplies to the upper room. I removed myself for a few moments to add some more venom to the supply I was collecting for Bella, should something arise that caused her to need an emergency transformation to get through this. I returned quickly downstairs, where I avoided the questioning glances from my family. I spoke with Esme while she made Bella up another cup of blood, about Jacob's lack of clothing and she immediately set to work getting some things ready for the three wolves who had sided with our family. As far as she was concerned, they may have given up their homes and families for our safety, but she would not see them do without food, clothes, friendship, or the amenities of having a home.

A short time later Jacob returned, his mind yelling out that all was well. I had turned at his approach, and with his news, I mentally relaxed. I nodded subtly to my family to let them know that everything was alright. Jacob discovered that Esme had left him clothes to wear on the steps of the deck, and his thoughts revealed that he was grateful, even if they smelled awful. Then he returned to the house not even bothering to knock, as he knew that would be aware of his arrival, and would have told the rest of my family. Jacob had been surprised to find out that I had been able to follow most of the meeting that had taken place in the woods, but brushed off the feeling of annoyance knowing that I could pick his thoughts up so well. He was so happy to see Bella looking so much better as she teased him about how tired he looked.

Jacob finally went to go and get some rest outside, where the air was fresher, not so heavily polluted with the scent of vampire. Upon Esme's request, I went and spoke to Jacob for a moment before he settled fully into sleep, letting him know that she wanted him, Seth and Leah to know that they were welcome to anything we had, as she did not want them to be without the benefits of having a home. Jacob thanked us, but an intense cry of pain from the house had me racing back to Bella's side again. Bella was curled up around herself, her body wracked with pain. Esme, Carlisle and I all hovered around her while Rosalie held her, murmuring soothing words in her ear. Alice was pacing frantically upstairs while Jasper tried to calm everyone down. Jacob once again let himself in, but I was too occupied with worry for Bella to focus on what he might make of the situation.

Bella was refusing to let Carlisle anywhere near her, and he was worried, knowing that he had heard a bone crack somewhere inside her body. Carlisle convinced Bella to let him do an X-ray, and it confirmed that she had a broken rib. Jacob stayed downstairs with Alice, she had been avoiding Bella since being too close to Bella, (or was it the fetus?), made her visions unclear and fuzzy, giving her a vampire style headache. Jacob finally collapsed from exhaustion while Bella was being wrapped up to ease the pain from her broken rib. This plan of mine seemed to have had a side effect, Bella was stronger, but the growing fetus was too.

Bella continued to recover rapidly, her sense of humor returned in full force along with her energy, and when Jacob woke she teased him mercilessly. I was thrilled at having her so much more like her old self, and aside from the incident where her rib had been broken, the fetus seemed to have quieted down. Seth was comfortable coming and going from the house, and he fit in like every other member of the family, but Leah didn't want to be anywhere too close to us. Esme continued to mother everyone, and that mothering had extended over to the wolves now, she considered them extended family, her kindness encompassing everyone who became close to her heart.

We had contemplated moving, to move away from Forks, to ease the tension between us and the pack, but after the growing monster in Bella's womb had broken another of her ribs, it became obvious that she was too fragile to be moved over any lengthy distances. As the child gained in strength, it grew even more, stretching itself in the cramped space inside Bella's body, causing her ribs to break under the stress of the pressure from inside her. I regretted daily what I was, knowing that if I had been human, Bella would not be suffering like this, but realizing that the chance to change this situation had long since passed. Jacob, Seth and I took turns trying to regulate Bella's temperature. She altered between hot and cold flashes, so we would sit near to help adjust her body temperature. She seemed to have peaked in her strength, looking and sounding much more like herself now that she was able to eat and drink. Her body seemed to need equal amounts of blood, and food, and she was coping quite nicely.

My largest concern was now the fact that Bella was getting closer to her due date, and with each passing day hour her already swollen abdomen was protruding out further and further. The creature grew in size and strength within the confines of her womb, and even the simplest movement often brought her pain. The family was worried because even though Bella was able to keep her movements limited, the developing fetus was not, and as it became more cramped, it began to stretch its body more frequently, resulting in many broken bones. When Bella was not sleeping, or being assaulted by the thing growing inside her, she basked in the company around her.

The animosity between Rosalie and Jacob was at an impasse, the two of them doing whatever they could to irritate the other, Rosalie due to her loathing for Jacob, and Jacob for the pure amusement of annoying Rosalie. Jasper and Emmet had gone on a mission for Carlisle, trying to decipher some ancient scrolls and books that may hold some information regarding myths from the history of our kind, we were doing this research based on the information I had learned from Kaure, one of our housekeepers, on Isle Esme. We were hopeful that some sort of record could be found regarding Bella's situation. We had not heard of any positive results from them yet. Every time a member of the family had to go anywhere a member of the pack scouted out where they were going, and kept watch until they got back safely.

Carlisle, Esme, Alice, Jasper, and Emmet were currently planning a hunting trip, wanting to have a chance to go out together before Bella's estimated delivery date. Carlisle had been checking Bella's stats every few hours, making sure that she was doing well, and her heart was working within, what he considered to be acceptable parameters. Jacob reassured him over and over that there was no sign of Sam's pack, and that all was well, before Carlisle and Esme would finally allow themselves to leave the house to go and hunt. Carlisle had great respect for Jacob, despite his youth, so he knew he was able to trust Jacob's assessment of the outside situation.

Rosalie refused to join the hunt, she did not trust me to be alone with Bella in the house, so if I stayed she would stay as well, and nothing could convince me to leave Bella's side at this time. Jacob stayed with us, merely to annoy an already irritated Rosalie. Jacob was trying to bait Rose into another Blonde joke, which angered her far more than she would let him know. Bella and Jacob had started talking when suddenly I felt the strangest sensation.

I looked around the room surveying the interactions and thoughts of the three other people in the room, and once again I felt a flutter of thoughts brush against my mind like the fluttering of a moth's wings. I closed my eyes trying to focus on the minds in the room. Rosalie was quietly imagining beating Jacob to death with his own shoes as she prepared Bella another drink in the kitchen. Jake was focused on getting a few moments of much needed sleep. Bella was sitting quietly on the couch, her thoughts silent to me as always. I didn't understand what was going on. I heard their thoughts, yet somehow I felt a new thought in my mind, was that Bella? It was unfamiliar, with such a pure tone that It left me puzzled at its source.

I glanced at Bella, "Did you say something?" I was confused, and I seemed to be hearing things, something I had never done before. I stared at Bella intently, wondering if for once, the mental walls that held me out of her mind were opening up to me, letting me in. "Me?" Bella responded looking back at me, searching my eyes in confusion. "I didn't say anything." I should have asked if she had thought anything. I moved closer to her staring at her intently trying to focus on her mind. I knelt down in front of her, my eyes still slightly higher than hers from her sitting position on the couch. I knew that Rose thought that I was pushing my luck, being so close to Bella, but right now I didn't care. I wanted to feel the purity of her thoughts again, they were like silk, soft and raw. I had never felt anything like it.

"What are you thinking about right now?" I asked her, hoping to get a glimmer of her thoughts once more. "Nothing. What's going on?" Bella asked softly, her voice held a bit of alarm in it's tone. But I didn't answer, I had to find out what this was. "What were you thinking about a minute ago?" I asked focusing my eyes intently on her, hoping to dazzle her, as she so often accused me of doing, to get her to focus on what I was asking.

Bella blushed a deep shade of red, the color made her radiant, than she responded, "Just… Esme's Island. And feathers." There it was again! A fluttering across my mind, a rapid thought of pure joy and love, that sent shivers through me at the purity of it. This was not the type of joy I pictured from Bella as she thought about our first night of lovemaking, this was a far cry from the lust, and love, this was something different. "Say something else." I whispered, wanting to figure out what was going on. "Like what? Edward. What's going on?" Bella asked in alarm. And then I realized what it was. The purity of the thoughts, the slight touch against my mind. Why there was such unfamiliarity in the mental tone as I felt it in my mind. I felt the unabashed wonder hit me as I realized that this was not Bella's mind as I had so hoped.

All of the minds in the room were accounted for save for one. I glanced at Bella's swollen belly and I was drawn to it against my will, as my mind reached out to tentatively touch the mind hidden within. I placed both hands against her rounded stomach, hoping that the contact might help me hear more clearly. "The f-," I swallowed as I felt the touch of the innocent mind behind the thoughts I was hearing. "It…the baby likes the sound of your voice." I said relating exactly what I heard to Bella as she watched me her eyes intently searching my face. Everyone in the room was quiet, and for a moment I heard nothing, not from those around me, or from the little being that lay only a short distance from my fingers. "Holy crow, you can hear him!" Bella shouted out suddenly, only to wince from a sudden movement from inside her belly.

I moved my hand up to run my cool fingers over the spot where the baby had kicked her. The baby had reacted with alarm to the volume of Bella's voice. "Shhhh," I murmured soothingly, trying to calm both Bella and the child within. It had sent out a wave of fear. "You startled it….him" I said trying to let Bella know what had caused the child to kick her only a moment before. Bella's eyes widened, full of wonder and emotion. Her hand flew to the side of her bump and stroked it lovingly. "Sorry, Baby." She said tenderly. I turned my head, so my ear was angled closer to her bulging abdomen, listening intently to the soft mental voice of the growing child within.

"What's he thinking now?" Bella asked eagerly, her eye never leaving the expanse of skin that was her stomach. I listened trying to catch the mental intonation that usually indicates a person's gender. Bella kept saying he, but I couldn't be sure if it was a boy, or a girl. "It..he or she, is……" I stopped to look into Bella's face as the child's emotions washed over me. The clarity and purity of what the child was experiencing filled me with awe, I had never felt anything like it before. "He's happy." I said, realizing that that was indeed the emotion I was picking up from the child, pure unadulterated joy. It was hard not to let myself be touched by the knowledge that the being growing within this woman that I loved, was aware, and full of sentient thoughts and emotions.

I had felt for so long that it must be a monster, for the way it was draining Bella of everything , but now I could not be sure. The fear, the child had felt when Bella startled it, had been so disarming. I could feel its innocence while I felt its panic, and then the joy it felt after Bella soothed it. The emotions the child had felt had made me see that I may have been wrong all along. Is a child to blame for the faults of the parents? Was this child the monster I had made it out to be? I had always assumed that it had to be a monster because I had fathered it, but had I overlooked the fact that this child was also a part of Bella? Bella was so full of goodness, understanding, and purity that surely it was possible that the child had to have some of those same qualities.

Bella's breath caught in her throat, and her eyes gleamed in a way I had never seen before. Tears fell from her eyes, in large glistening drops, that ran down her face, leaving shimmering trails on her skin. "Of course you're happy, pretty baby, of course you are," She cooed in the most tender of voices, as she stroked her bulging belly softly. "How could you not be, all safe and warm, and loved? I love you so much, little EJ, of course you're happy." Bella's eyes glistened as more tears crested from her lashes and fell, sliding down her already moistened cheeks. I glanced her curious at what she had called the child."What did you call him?" I asked.

Bella's cheeks flushed with color, turning them a deep pink, something I loved to watch. "I sort of named him. I didn't think you would want…well, you know." She said, not quite letting her glance meet my eyes. She knew how I had been feeling about the pregnancy, and didn't want to add to my stress by asking about baby names, how very Bella. "EJ?" I prompted, curious as to how she had chosen that name. Bella raised her eyes to meet mine, they were full of love, "Your father's name was Edward, too. "Yes it was. What-"

I was about to comment on how touched I was that she would want to name our child after my father when a flutter of thoughts from the child drew my attention. I felt a touch of joy, that faded away as soon as I ceased speaking."Hmmm."I thought aloud, testing a theory, and being rewarded with another burst of pleasure from the child with my spoken words. "What?" Bella asked softly, not wanting to alarm the child again. "He likes my voice, too." I informed her. The child had given a burst of pleasure with each time I had spoken aloud. "Of course he does. You have the most beautiful voice in the universe. Who wouldn't love it?" Bella said with a huge smile. Bella's face had a triumphant look on it.

Rosalie's face had a similar look, but it had a gloating aspect to it. Though her next words made it apparent that she had picked up on my earlier subtle comment about the baby possibly being a he or a she. "Do you have a backup plan?" Rosalie asked Bella as she leaned over the back of the couch. "What if he's a she?" Rosalie was still hopeful that the baby was a boy, as all of her mothering fantasies had revolved around a baby boy, though she would still happily enjoy a baby girl. Bella wiped her tears away with the back of her hand. "I kicked a few things around. Playing with Renee and Esme. I was thinking ….Ruh-nez-may." "Ruhnezmay?" Rosalie responded, testing how the name rolled off of her tongue. "R-e-n-e-s-m-e-e." Too weird?" Bella asked Rosalie. "No I like it," Rosalie assured her." It's beautiful. And one of a kind, so that fits." _And it's so much nicer than Edward!_ Rosalie thought in my direction.

I ignored her focusing on the child instead. "I still think he's an Edward." Bella said tenderly. I knew she was looking at me, but I was so drawn in by what the child was currently feeling that I couldn't focus. The child was sending out strong waves of love and adoration that washed over me. It was sending out those feeling towards Bella. Every time she spoke, I would feel the wave of emotions the baby was feeling. It was content and filled with love for her, love that was so pure and heart rendering that it nearly took my breath away. "What?" Bella asked me. "What's he thinking now?"

I couldn't speak for a moment. I moved my head so that my ear was placed gently against Bella's belly. I let myself be washed over by the emotions from our child. "He loves you," I whispered to Bella, so overcome that I was unable to speak any louder. "He absolutely adores you." I continued. I always imagined that no one would ever be able to love Bella with the intensity that I did, but I was wrong. This small person loved her with every fiber of its being, I couldn't continue to be upset with it, I couldn't hold on to the anger I had felt towards it for endangering her life, when it was obvious that the child would never purposely hurt her. It loved Bella, just as much as I did, and from the love it radiated for her, I could no longer be upset with her need to protect it, and to bring it safely into the world. I would have to do whatever I could to make sure they both made it, so they could be together.

I was jolted from my reverie by Jacob's angry, intense thoughts. He didn't need to be a mind reader to see the lines my thoughts had taken. His body shook with rage, as he realized that he was alone in his hate for the child growing inside of the woman I loved. He hated it, with such an intensity that it tainted his thoughts. He hated it, and he hated me for abandoning him to be alone in his pain. He had counted on me, and I had failed him, but there was nothing I could do about it. His pain was so great that it wiped out everything else in my head. It was torture. "Ahhhhh." I groaned out, trying to shake off his pain. Everyone was suddenly watching us in confusion. I ran to the small end table that held the keys to all of the cars in the garage and I reached in and grab a set throwing it in Jacob's direction. He caught them in mid flight, and ran from the house.


	23. Chapter 24

A/N

Hey everyone. I have been flooded with a plethora of reviews and responses, so here it is, the next chapter!! I have to send a wonderful thanks out to Cullenfest (check out her stories) for being an awesome editor, and helping me smooth through the many mistakes that you don't get to see. I think that many of you would really enjoy the stories from . Cantante83(best laid plans, it is a introspective story about a very torn Bella) and from roadrunnertwilightlover(read The Secret it is good and funny!)

Chapter 23

Edward's POV

I felt for Jacob, his anger was so intense that you could feel the static of it in the air around his body. I felt for him but there was nothing I could do to explain my sudden change of heart towards the baby. He was too upset to have heard me out, and I wanted him to be able cool off before I tried to explain to him what we had to be happy about. I felt his need to run, his instinct to flee before he hurt Bella, he felt so..so.. betrayed, by me. I had read the change in his thoughts before it had fully sunk into his own consciousness, and I had raced for the keys to the cars, not caring for whatever keys I had grabbed, and I tossed them to him, hoping that he would accept the offered form of escape.

He did, he flew from the house towards the garage. Bella had noticed his speedy escape, and she was upset, wondering what was wrong. I wasn't about to upset her by explaining that the very thing that was making her so happy, was what was making Jacob so very upset. I heard the roar of the engine, and realized that I had given Jacob the keys to my Vanquish. Well at least Rosalie and Alice wouldn't be able to get mad at me for giving Jacob their high end automobiles.

Jacob zoomed away and was quickly out of range of my ability to read his thoughts. I didn't want to think about how fast he was driving my car to have gotten out of range so quickly. I was distracted by Bella again. She was trying to get up off of the couch and the baby was moving, as if it felt her distress. Bella grasped her side as the baby pushed against her. I felt the soft fluttering of its pure mind as it grazed against my own. I felt its love for Bella, and its fear for her distress. I moved back over to Bella and ran one hand soothingly over her cheek, while I placed another on her swollen belly. The baby moved again causing her to suck in a deep breath through clenched teeth.

"Ssshhh now little one," I spoke to the child. "You're hurting your mommy when you move like that." Bella's stomach that had been shifting under my touch suddenly stopped. I felt the child's innocent sorrow at having caused Bella pain. I was so touched at the fact that this child seemed to not only understand my words, but to feel remorse for having hurt the woman we both loved, that I felt the hardness in my heart that I had been building against this unknown entity, give way completely. I could not hate it. This child…… our child, loved us, and it loved its mother enough to try to stop hurting her. The very tenderness of its thoughts towards Bella only made me want to protect them both.

I leaned my ear gently against Bella's taut belly, listening to the baby's flickering thoughts. The thoughts reminded me of what it felt to have a butterflies wings brush against your skin, the sensation was soft and delicate but real nonetheless. This was even more difficult as it was a touching of our minds. These were thoughts with no images, unlike those most people give off because the child had no images to give to me, yet the emotions were intense and pure, and in a way refreshing. I felt Bella's fingers run through my hair as I listened to our child, and I heard her sigh contentedly. I turned to look at her, gently placing my other ear against her abdomen so I could still listen to our unborn child. Bella's face was serene as she sat there on the couch. She watched me through sparkling eyes as I listened for thoughts from her womb. I didn't need to read her thoughts to know that she was happy. I realized that this was probably the most 'normal' part of her pregnancy.

I was about to tell her I loved her when I heard the rapid approach of feet, multiple feet, thumping against the grass of the yard. I reached out with my mind, feeling for the tenor of the approaching mind. It was Leah, and I instantly felt alarm. Jacob was gone, and Leah never came to the house. Did this mean the pack was coming? I rose up and made my way quickly to the door, opening it just as she flew up the stairs, her paws scraping against the smooth surface of the painted wood. I expected alarm from her based upon her speed, but there was none, so I moved aside to let her enter. Leah ran right into the living room, and before I could ask her what the matter was, she phased right in the center of the living room.

Bella's mouth fell open as her eyes widened in shock, even Rosalie couldn't hide her shock at the unclothed woman who was standing in front of them. I moved to avert my eyes, not wanting to embarrass Leah at being seen in a state of complete undress. But just as I was turning away Leah spoke. "How dare you!" She roared at Bella. "What did you do to him?" I whipped around my mouth open, ready to defend Bella.

Bella stared at Leah, she didn't respond, but that didn't matter to Leah. "He loves you, why do you continue to rip him apart from the inside out Bella? Why can't you just let him be?" Rosalie jumped up between her and Bella as a Bella's face took on a heartbroken expression, and tears started to gather in her eyes. Rosalie tried to grab Leah by the shoulders, but Leah ducked around her and maneuvered herself directly in front of Bella. She leaned in, staring Bella directly in the face, her dark eyes flashing, unaware of the distress that flooded through Bella's gaze. I moved closer to Bella prepared to intercept, but she raised a hand in my direction, asking me to stay put.

Leah continues to yell at Bella, "You are no better than Sam! In fact you are worse. At least he imprinted! He had no choice when he broke my heart. But you…you choose someone else, and yet you keep Jacob around. Do you get some sort of sick, twisted pleasure out of seeing him in pain? You should be ashamed of yourself!" Leah screamed at her. The tears that had been building in Bella's eyes escaped, and made their way down her flushed cheeks. I knew that she loved Jacob, as much as I hated it, I knew she loved him. There was not a manipulative bone in her entire body and she would never intentionally cause him pain. Leah's accusations hurt her to the core.

Rosalie made another lunge at Leah, and this time she had no intentions of being thwarted. Rosalie grabbed the irate girl around the waist, and hauled her towards the door. I moved to open it gratefully, as she threw Leah from the porch onto the grass, where Seth paced nervously. His thoughts were apologetic. He felt bad for his sister, but just as bad for Bella. Seth didn't like to see anyone hurting. 

_Edward, I'm sorry. Is Bella okay? I had no idea that she was going to do that. I thought she was just going to ask what happened with Jacob, if I had known…_

"It's okay Seth, you cannot control your sister, it is not your job to do so. She needs to get herself under control though. I will not be having Bella upset like that again, she is too fragile. I will be speaking to Jacob about how she behaved. She may not feel that she has to answer to us, but he is her alpha, and she will have to answer to him. Seth nodded his head, and gave me a wolfish grin. He was such an easy kid to like, I couldn't understand how he and Leah came from the same genetic pool.

I smiled at him in return, and turned to head back into the house, closing the door behind me. Bella was softly sobbing into Rosalie's shoulder as Rose tried to calm her tears. I felt the concern from the baby, she felt Bella's distress and the baby was upset, but the child was trying not to move so it wouldn't hurt Bella again. I felt a rush of pride for the child. It was so aware, and it tried to restrain itself on Bella's behalf, it was rather amazing.

I moved swiftly to Bella's side, wanting to calm her. I sat on the side opposite of Rosalie, and I rubbed her back, tracing circles along her spine. "I don't……, I 'm not……," Bella tried unsuccessfully, "Poor Jake…" She sniffed, unable to say more. I swallowed before I spoke, wanting to phrase my words carefully so they would calm her. "Jacob isn't upset with you love. He knows you love him." I hated saying that, but it was true, she loved him, not the same way she loved me but nonetheless she loved him. I continued, seeing her tear streaked face turn my way, I had her undivided attention, and I decided the best way o calm her would be to draw her focus to something else. The child would be the best thing to occupy her mind, so I chose to share the child's emotions with her. "Jacob is just going through a great deal right now, and he needs some time to sort out how he is feeling. He will be back. You need to focus on yourself Bella. Focus on you, and the child growing within you. The child is fretful, it can feel your distress." Bella's eyes widened as she looked down at her large belly. She stroked her stomach tenderly, each touch was a caress filled with love for the being inside of her.

Bella, breathed deeply in and out as she stroked intricate patterns across her abdomen. She closed her eyes, and focused on calming herself down as she tried to do the same for our child. Rosalie and I sat there with her as her breathing gradually calmed, and her sniffles died away. Eventually her finger slowed then stopped altogether as breathing evened out and became deeper as she fell asleep against Rosalie's shoulder.

Rosalie turned to glance at me, still shushing Bella as she slept, not wanting to wake her.

_Edward? _

I glanced at her so she would know she had my attention.

_I don't know how you feel about it, but if that flea infested mutt comes in here again, I am going spay her before she has a chance to breathe. Bella does not need any extra stress. She finally got good news, knowing that you can hear the baby, and that dog had to go and ruin it. Could you tell if it is a girl or a boy? _ I smiled at her reference to Leah. I would happily let her deal with Leah, as I would rather not lay my hands on a woman. Then I shook my head in response to her question. I replied to her softly, so as not to disturb Bella as she slept. "I can't tell one way or the other, but Bella seems fairly sure that it's a boy."

Rosalie fell quiet, contemplating that news, and I made a decision to speak to Jacob regarding what had taken place here this afternoon. I knew that Bella meant him no harm, but for some strange reason they seemed drawn together. If that would help her get through this, then so be it. Whatever happened, Leah would never speak to Bella that way ever again.


	24. Chapter 25

Disclaimer: Nothing Twilight related belongs to me, they are all to the credit of Stephanie Myers.

**Author's note* This is a short, but important chapter, I hope everyone enjoys.**

Chapter 24

Edward's POV

Bella was sleeping fitfully on the couch while I listened to Rosalie's thoughts. She was busy inventing a list of ways that she could pay back Leah for her verbal attack on Bella, and as much as I understood her need to protect Jacob, I knew he would not have approved of what she had done to Bella in his absence.

_I could hold her down, and shave her head, I wonder what a bald wolf would look like?….. Maybe I could make her phase, drug her and put her in the nearest zoo… That would work…I would need Emmett though…..I would have to get a video camera for when she woke up, it would be priceless……_

I tuned out Rosalie's thoughts, not to say that I hadn't had a few vengeful thoughts of my own, but I would give Jacob the chance to deal with her, as a member of his pack, the responsibility was his. When he returned, hopefully he would be calm enough to understand what had changed that made me hopeful about this whole situation. I had to explain to him that the child growing in Bella's womb was trying not to hurt her. It had understood the combination of my words, and Bella's distress. The flash of emotions that had come to me had been filled with sadness, and love. It didn't want to hurt Bella any more than either of us did, the child loved her. I wished that I were able to make Jacob feel the flood of emotions that the child was able to give off.

It had been a revelation to feel the child understand my words. The responding thoughts had not been easy to decipher, as the child seem to think in a series of emotions due to its age, but it had immediately reacted to my request by stilling its movements, easing Bella's discomfort instantly. I was amazed at how much the child appeared to have grown in the last day. I also worried that the last day had been the equivalent to the last two weeks of a human gestation period, which is the time when an unborn child has finished developing and simply adds weight, readying itself for birth. I had decided I would ask Carlisle to deliver the baby when he returned-it had to be large enough to survive at this point, and it would be prudent for us to be proactive about this, as opposed to waiting for the child to come on its own time. I had spoken quietly about this with Rose as Bella had started to ease into sleep, and Rosalie had agreed that it would be a good idea, even Bella had murmured her consent sleepily.

I turned suddenly as a familiar set of thoughts drifted into my range, soon followed by the gentle roar of my cars engine. Jacob was on his way. I glanced at Rosalie, knowing that she would have heard the engine too . I nodded towards the door, and went wordlessly outside to speak with Jacob upon his arrival. _If he won't deal with her, I will happily oblige…_ Rosalie's thoughts followed me out the door, where I stood ready to greet Jacob.

Jacob was calmer, enough to realize that he must have upset Seth and Leah with his sudden departure, this realization would surely make what I had to say to him easier, as he was even more familiar with Leah than I was. I ignored the fact that Jacob was currently thinking about how he should have destroyed my car, because there were far more important things to be discussed. I didn't even wait for him to turn off the engine, knowing full well that his keen ears would hear my every word.

"A few things, Jacob." I began as he got out of the car and threw the keys in my direction, harder than was necessary. "Thanks for the loan," Jacob sneered at me sarcastically. He felt that I only lent him the car because I expected something in return-how wrong he was. "What do you want now?" He snapped at me. I waited a moment before responding. "Firstly…. I know how averse you are to using your authority with your pack, but…" Jacob looked shocked, his thoughts accusing, and his hackles went up as he prepared for his authority to be challenged. "What?" He said through gritted teeth, inviting me to dare challenge him as the alpha he was.

I went on, "If you can't control Leah, then I-" Jacob didn't wait for me to finish before responding. "Leah? What happened?" His thoughts were a whirlwind of what may have happened in his absence. If he would stop interrupting me, I would have finished my explanation by this time. My face tensed up with annoyance. "She came up to see why you'd left so abruptly. I tried to explain. I suppose it might not have come out right." "What did she do?" Jacob asked suspiciously, his eyes narrowed. "She phased to her human form and-"

The shock that reeled through Jacob's mind at this information was intense, he was having trouble intaking that information. "Really?" He said quietly, his voice sounded strangled. His interruptions were starting to get the best of me so I pushed on again, "She wanted to….. speak to Bella." I informed him. "To Bella?" He parroted. I had had it, my calm demeanor slipped away as I recalled what had happened, and I lashed out at him verbally. "I won't let Bella be upset like that again. I don't care how justified Leah thinks she is! I didn't hurt her - of course I wouldn't - but I'll throw her out of the house if it happens again. I'll launch her across the river-"

Jacob seemed confused as he tried to understand what I had just said. "Hold on. What did she say?" I explained to Jacob how Leah had reacted, yelling at Bella about how she treated Jacob. He was genuinely shocked at her behavior. He tried to make sure understood that he hadn't asked her to do so, but it was unnecessary, I knew that already. Jacob felt badly about Leah's reaction, and he promised to speak to her. He also could not help but feeling a little proud that his pack had stood by him, even though he felt badly that Bella had been upset.

Having resolved the issue about what had happened while he was off gallivanting to places unknown, I explained the current situation regarding how the child was able to understand us in a limited capacity, even while still unborn. Jacob was unconvinced that this was going to make the situation any easier. I took this time to explain to Jacob that I was now fairly sure Bella would be able to survive this, and that to help ensure she did we were going to ask Carlisle to deliver the baby as soon as he and Esme returned from their current hunting trip.

Jacob was alarmed to realize that Carlisle was not going to back sooner than that, but more so about the fact that everything was going to be happening sooner than he had anticipated. He wasn't ready. He was having trouble standing, and had to use the frame of the car to support himself as his legs swayed dangerously. Now was the time to really explain where all of this was headed.

"I'm sorry. I am truly sorry for the pain this causes you, Jacob. Though you hate me, I must admit that I don't feel the same way about you. I think of you as a..a brother in many ways. A comrade in arms, at the very least. I regret your suffering more than you realize. But Bella is going to survive," With each word I felt more assured of the truth behind my words, she would survive, she would get through this. My voice hardened with my resolve, "And I know that's what really matters to you." I said, but I couldn't stop now. Jacob was trying to absorb so much, but I had to keep going, I had a crucial favor that could only be granted by him, the sooner it was done, the better, so I took a breath and continued.

"So I have to do this now, while you're already dealing with too much, but, clearly, there is little time. I have to ask you for something-to beg, if I must." I stopped and looked at Jacob out of the corner of my eye, I had to admit that Jacob looked …..broken, for the lack of a better word. His mind seemd blank , as if he wanted to respond, but nothing of any consequence came to mind. "I don't have anything left, " he forced out, almost choking on the words. I wanted to offer comfort, but I didn't think it would help, all I could do was breathe deeply and sigh as I rallied myself to reply.

"I know how much you have given, but this is something you do have, and only you. I am asking this of the true Alpha, Jacob. I am asking this of Ephraim's heir." Jacob remained silent, so I continued. "I want your permission to deviate from what we agreed to in our treaty with Ephraim. I want you to grant us an exception. I want your permission to save her life. You know I'll do it anyway, but I don't want to break faith with you if there is any way to avoid it. We never intended to go back on our word, and we don't do it lightly now. I want your understanding, Jacob, because you know exactly why we do this. I want the alliance between our families to survive when this is over.

Jacob argued with me in his mind that Sam was the person who I should be asking this of, but he was wrong. There was only one person who could grant me this, and he was it. It was his decision to make. He needed some time to consider what I had asked. I could grant him that, but I would not be able to wait for too long. I would do whatever I needed to save Bella, treaty or no treaty- I refused to give up on the love that I had waited my entire existence to experience.

We walked side by side in the darkness, and I knew that my words had gotten to him. Try as he might, he didn't hate me as much as he once had. Seth approached quietly wanting to be sure that everything was okay, and Jacob reassured him that all was well. Seth was a true kind soul, and after Jacob had sent him to deliver a message to his sister, I told him my thoughts on the young man who was a third of his new pack. He was surprised to find that we shared an affinity for the young shape shifter.

As we neared the house we both became aware that Bella had reawakened, she could be heard sipping her life giving drink through a straw, and I was anxious to be near her. I ran ahead of Jacob, who was making his way more slowly as he processed our conversation. I darted inside the house, flying swiftly to Bella's side. "Bella, love, I thought you were sleeping. I'm sorry, I wouldn't have left." I breathed out in a gust. Bella grinned at my explanation. "Don't worry. I just got so thirsty - it woke me up. It's a good thing Carlisle is bringing more. This kid is going to need it when he gets out of me." She said earnestly. I heard Jacob approaching the house behind me. "True . That's a good point." I said listening to his movements.

"I wonder if he 'll want anything else?" Bella pondered out loud. I wasn't sure, but only time would tell. "I suppose we'll find out." I said honestly. I had no idea what the child would want, though I was sure that blood would make up a main part of its diet considering how it had impacted on her normal eating habits. Jacob came through the door, and Bella's eyes immediately flew to him, all emotions from her earlier incident with Leah came rushing to the surface as tears welled in her eyes and her smile fell from her face. I could hear Jacob's remorse for Leah's earlier actions. Alice was standing near, watchful of everyone's actions.

Jacob was not going to allow her to feel badly about earlier, and he jumped into conversation, before she could speak. "Hey, Bells. How ya doing?" Jacob and Bella eyed one another. "I'm fine" she replied quietly. Bella saw past his attempts instantly, but he was not going to let her win this round."Big day today, huh? Lots of new stuff." He said trying to make light of the situation. Bella's face turned stubborn. "You don't have to do that, Jacob." She said trying to give him an escape from his attempt at making things seem normal, though normal really couldn't describe any part of our situation. "Don't know what you're talking about. " Jacob said casually as he strolled over and lowered his tall frame onto the arm of the couch. Bella tried a more direct approach. "I'm so s-" she started to say, but Jacob held her lips closed, refusing to let her continue her apology. He knew that she had no more control over the situation, and their strange connection to one another than I did, and he was not about to hold it against her.

She tried to pull his hand away from her mouth, but the attempt had no strength behind it. "Jake," she mumbled. He shook his head, refusing to let her finish. "You can talk when you're not being stupid." He said. I never could have spoken to Bella like that, but it was a part of the odd relationship the two of them had, and at this point I was hoping that it would help him come to a decision about what I had requested of him only moments before.

"Fine. I won't say it." She mumbled grumpily. Jacob pulled his hand away, his mind cheering his victory for having won this battle of wills against her for a change. "Sorry!" Bella blurted out quickly, then smiled at Jacob, knowing that once again she had won, getting her way. There had never been a woman more stubborn, and the truth of that made me smile to myself. Even as tired and weak as she was, she was still my Bella, and true to form, she was besting Jacob. Jacob just stared at her, his mind suddenly a jumble of thoughts and emotions. He was seeing that she was everything, and how much it hurt that it wasn't the same when she looked at him. He knew that she knew him better than anyone else, and he was thinking about what she would be like after being changed.

The images of Bella in his head were conflicting. He saw her as one of us, something he resented, but she was still Bella, the Bella he knew and loved. Jacob pondered how much she would still be herself after everything. His mind raced over a few more details about his pack, than he was hit by the realization that he was going to be the one to make choice as to whether she would still be his friend, or if she would be his enemy. He wasn't able to picture her as anything but a friend, they were too close for him to let her go.

I heard Jacob sigh, and I felt the direction his thoughts had taken, and they filled me up with hope. I wanted this to work out for everyone. I wouldn't let it stop me, but it would be better for Bella, and for Jacob if he consented.

_Fine!_

His decision rolled through my mind….

_Go ahead. Save her. As Ephraim's heir, you have my permission , my word, that this will not violate the treaty. The others will just have to blame me. You were right - they can't deny that it's my right to agree to this._

Jacob's mind was reeling from having come to a decision, and having given me his answer. I know that he had struggled with it, but he had no idea how much this meant to me, and how much it would mean to Bella, and the rest of my family. I had so many things that I could have said to him, but all I could manage was a very heartfelt, choked up, "Thank you." I hoped he knew how much it meant to me.


	25. Chapter 26

Disclaimer: Nothing Twilight related belongs to me, they are all to the credit of Stephanie Myers.

**a/n**

**Sorry that it took so long for this update. I have been grinding out chapters for an actual book that I am writing, and it has been hard to do between work, raising a family, and writing fan fiction , which I love! Please take a moment and send me a message, so I know how far people want this story to go, because currently I am thinking that it souls go to their first sexual encounter as full equals. Please let me know what you want, so I can give it to you.**

**I wonder if we can bring it up to 200 reviews??? What do you think?**

**Love you all**

Chapter 25

I was reeling with the euphoria that Jacob's agreement to my request had brought on. I knew that everyone else was staring at me, and that they had no idea what had just taken place, but I didn't care, right now I was too thankful. Bella hadn't noticed the silent exchanged, and she turned to Jacob, trying to change the conversation over to a new topic. She was trying to ease the discomfort that was palpable in the air." So, how was your day?" She asked Jacob casually. I could tell from his thoughts that he was happy that she was calmer now. "Great," He said in a voice that seemed a little too happy. "Went for a drive, hung out in a park." "Sounds nice," Bella said smiling at him. "Sure, sure." He said not wanting to get into why he had been to those places. Jacob didn't want her to be upset again, and he knew she would be if the conversation went back to what he had done today. I was grateful for his attempt to keep the atmosphere calm.

Bella made a face, and looked slightly frustrated. "Rose?" she said in a quiet voice. Rose's thoughts were jovial and she giggled at Bella, "Again?" she said with a smile. Bella tried to explain with a smile, "I think I've drunk two gallons in the last hour." _That is one part of pregnancy that I am glad I don't have to deal with. _She thought. This new diet had made such a difference to Bella, her skin was glowing again, and the dark circles under her eyes had faded somewhat. She even appeared to be putting some weight back on her tiny frame.

I moved out of the way to allow Rosalie more space to carry Bella, and to maneuver her cumbersome frame to the bathroom, and Jacob quickly did the same. Rosalie moved to lift her from the couch, to take her to the bathroom, and Bella asked Rosalie to let her walk so she could stretch out her legs because they were stiff. Rosalie was hesitant to let her move unaided, and I understood her concern, as it mirrored my own.

"Are you sure?" I asked, wanting to know what she was feeling. Bella looked at me, always trying to appease me regardless to how she felt. "Rose'll catch me if I trip over my feet. Which could happen pretty easily, since I can't see them." She said with a chuckle. Jacob laughed with her. Rosalie set Bella carefully on her feet, she wasn't sure if she should let Bella do this, but she had relented from pushing her thoughts onto Bella.

Rosalie wasn't willing to move away so she placed her hands on Bella's shoulders to hold her steady. Bella stretched her arms out in front of her body, wiggling her fingers and sighing as her muscles pulled. "That feels good," She said. "Ugh, but I'm huge." She said. I knew that was not so much a complaint, as it was pure discomfort. The baby had grown so big, so fast that she must feel like an over blown balloon. "One more day, "She said as she gently patted her swollen belly. I could see the tender look upon her face as her hand ran over the swollen rise of her belly, never had I seen such an intimate portrayal of pending motherhood. Bella was the most beautiful woman to have ever carried a child, and every move she made spoke of love and tenderness.

One more day, that all that would be left. Then Bella and I would be parents. Our child would be here, an unexpected gift to complete our family. I knew that the whole family was anticipating the child's arrival, but that excitement had been tempered with concern for Bella. Carlisle would be home tomorrow, and we could remove the child before it could cause her any serious injuries, and then we could focus on Bella, and the child. Surely Bella would want to stay human a bit longer now that she was going to have our child to hold and care for. I couldn't imagine her wanting to be a voracious newborn while our child was so young. I knew that Bella would want to be a large part of our child's life, and if she were a newborn vampire, that was not very likely.

Now that there was the possibility that we would be able to deliver the child without injury to Bella, I was starting to allow myself to envision her making it through this event unscathed. I pictured her holding our newly born child, stroking its rounded cheeks as tenderly as she now stroked her belly. Bella would be a beautiful mother, proud, strong and loving. I never imagined that I would be so truly blessed. If everything worked, it might even be possible for us to have more children. I pictured a little girl with her soft brown eyes and dark tresses, she would be the image of her mother, a beautiful girl who could follow the son Bella was so sure that she carried.

I felt Jacob's thoughts turn sour, and for a moment a flicker of the pain he was feeling flashed across his face. He pushed them down so Bella wouldn't see them, he was becoming quite adept at hiding his feelings from her to keep her from worrying about him. But I was unable to focus on him now, my joy was too great, and it swept through the dark corners of my mind trying to obliterate the worry that still clung tenaciously to my thoughts.

Bella was squaring her shoulders, preparing for the short walk to the bathroom. "All righty, then. Whoops-oh, no!" The cup that Bella had left, placed on the arm of the couch had somehow tipped sideways and it spilled its crimson contents over the light colored fabric of the sofa. Every hand moved to catch it for her, and even though we were already in motion, Bella, too, moved her body to intercede.

A sound unlike anything I had ever heard before pierced the air, and it centered from the core of Bella's body. A tearing, as soft as silk, yet as definite as if I had ripped something with my own two hands. Bella gasped, and a weak "Oh." Fell from her lips as she suddenly went limp and her body raced to the floor. I moved to intercept her before she could hit the floor, and Rosalie did the same catching her before she collided with the hard wood. "Bella?" I demanded placing my hands on her limp arms. There was no response, and the fear that I had been keeping at bay with the hope, the hope that had slipped into my subconscious , surged to the forefront of my mind again. I was going to lose her!

Suddenly Bella's body jerked in my arms, and a scream pierced the air, a scream so heart renderingly painful that everyone in the room stopped breathing to stare as it emanated forth from Bella's lips. The sound ended as swiftly as it had started, but it was not because Bella had stopped it, it had been cut off as she choked, her eyes were rolling back into her head! No! No! No!

I tightened my grasp on her arms as if I could protect her purely from the will to do so, but it was to no avail. Bella's body convulsed in Rosalie's arms and then it stretched into a stiff arch that forced her body past its natural limitations of movement. Rosalie's eyes widened and panic laced her thoughts. She had not expected this, and as much as she was willing to mother the baby, seeing Bella in this state scared her almost as much as it scared me.

There wasn't a moment to spare for those thoughts as Bella's body continued to curl backwards. Bella's mouth opened slightly and a stream of crimson fluid flew from her mouth as if it were a fountain. Blood poured forth as she quivered and strained unnaturally in Rosalie's arms. The movement of her body took on a thrashing, and Jacob's thoughts likened it to someone being electrocuted. I was trying to block out the horrific thoughts of my family so I could focus on the most important thing, Bella. I needed to help her, to get her through this.

My mind cleared of all other thoughts as a serried of snapping and popping sounds came from within Bella's frail frame. The child was also panicking, its thoughts were frantic and scared. Rosalie screamed at me with her mind_, We need to get the baby out now Edward! Upstairs!_ She screamed. We moved for the stairs, headed for the hospital room that was set up upstairs. Rosalie moved at her fastest pace. Carrying Bella as if she weighed nothing, and I kept pace right behind her, and heard Jacob fast on my heels.

Rosalie placed Bella on the white padded table and I screamed for her to get the morphine. Rosalie searched for it while yelling for Alice to call Carlisle. Rosalie pinned Bella down on the table as she ripped the clothing she was wearing to shreds so I could inject the morphine. As I pushed the plunger sending the pain medication into her system, my mind was drawn back to the syringe of venom that I had moved into this room just in case of such an emergency. Would it be too late? Rosalie screamed at me, "What's happening, Edward?" She roared. "He's suffocating!" I hissed . I was going to lose Bella, and the baby she had fought so hard for. "The placenta must have detached!" I hissed at her. A scream rose from under my hands, Bella was conscious.

"Get him out! She screamed in desperation, she must have heard me. "He can't BREATHE! Do it NOW!" I had never heard anything scream so loudly in all my years on earth. Her scream was so intense that it actually burst the blood vessels behind her eyes making red spots appear. I was trying to save her, and the baby but she was my top priority, I couldn't live without her, and this was all my fault, if I couldn't save her, then I would have no one to blame but myself. "The morphine-" I tried to say but Bella cut me off. "NO! NOW-!" Her scream was drowned out as another fountain of blood poured from her mouth.

I reached for her head, I needed to clear her airway, without air she would die even sooner. Alice darted into the room, her eyes wide with concern, she had no way of knowing what the outcome would be, and I could feel her fear compounding my own. She reached up to Rosalie and clipped a wireless earpiece to her ear. Alice darted away from the table, her eyes intense with her unspoken fear.

I saw the blood starting to pool underneath her frail form, and I saw a glint of steel e as Rosalie raised a scalpel over Bella's protruding belly. I growled at her, knowing that we had different intentions, I was trying to save Bella, but Rosalie was trying to save the baby. "Let the morphine spread!" I yelled at her, my hands flying from place to place, trying to save Bella. "There's no time!" She hissed back at me, "He's dying!" She didn't wait another second, and her hand flew at Bella's stomach. The last thing Bella needed was to lose more blood, and the incision brought forth a new tide of blood. If I hadn't been so busy I would have thrown her threw the wall.

Bella's body jolted beneath my fingers, she still couldn't breath. I propped her up, trying desperately to clear her airway, the blood loss wouldn't matter if she suffocated. In my panicked state something registered, Rosalie had frozen, her eyes had darkened and her thoughts had muddled. The only thought crossing her mind know was the odor of Bella's blood as it wafted through the air. I was unable to move, I could hear Bella trying to pass air and If I moved away now all would be lost. I screamed at her, trying to snap her out of her blood lust induced haze. "No Rose!" I bellowed. Jacob seemed to realize what was happening and he launched himself across the table at Rose.

I was so focused on Bella, that I didn't even watch to see what was happening, Jacob wouldn't let Rose hurt her. I heard the crashing, but I tuned them out. Bella was still fighting to take a gasp of air. I was aware that Alice was helping Jacob and I shouted to her, "Alice, get her out of here! Take her to Jasper and Keep her there! Jacob, I need you!" Bella was turning blue, her eyes were wide, and un seeing. I needed Jacob more than I ever thought possible, I needed him to help me save the woman that we both loved from the depths of our souls.

"CPR?" I growled at him, questioning if he knew how it was done. "Yes!" He responded quickly, letting me know that he knew how to do it. He was worried that her blood was going to affect me the same way it had Rosalie, but I had never been less interested in tasting her blood. My wife was dying, and my child was full of fear, unsure of what was happening to him. I had to get him out. "Get her breathing! I've got to get him out before--"

My words were cut off as a resounding crack emanated through the room. I froze, as did Jacob, I waited for Bella's body to respond, but the response was not what I had expected. He body slackened from the waist down, her legs falling uselessly to the table. Her spine was broken. "Her spine," I forced out trying to let Jacob know what had happened. I could hear the fluttering thoughts of my child as they pushed against my consciousness. Fear, panic, terror, all were swirling through the child's mind, and they seemed to be fading. "Get it out of her!" Jacob roared throwing a scalpel in my direction, "She won't feel anything now!" He was panicking as much as the child.

I broke from my panicked trance as Jacob resumed CPR. I ran the scalpel over the muscles that covered her uterus, and more blood seeped over her body, falling to the floor below. I could see the child straining against the hard embryonic sac, it was fighting for its life. I moved my face downward, and pierced the stone like membrane with my teeth, a metallic sound rang through the air as my teeth tore through it. I saw the child turn over, and I saw Jacob's thoughts as Bella looked at him, her eyes fluttering, she was conscious. I focused on the baby, if Bella was conscious than I could focus on our child.

The baby turned, its body pushing against the heavy membrane that had been its safe haven. I reached with my hands and pulled the membrane back, tearing it further, uncovering the child's face, giving it room to breathe. It stretched outward, and I put my hands in gently cradling it, and drawing it out of the confines of Bella's swollen uterus. The child radiated heat, and health. I felt Bella's body stop trembling as I drew our baby into the world. The child turned itself against my chest as it stretched , flailing it's arms and legs in its discomfort. I wiped its face off with my shirt, and was rewarded with a glimpse of soft brown eyes. I looked the child over, inspecting it, counting fingers and toes, all were present, our son….. was,…. was….a girl!"

I couldn't help the reverent word that rolled off of my lips. "Renesmee….." I whispered in awe of her perfection. Jacob's thoughts realized that Bella had been wrong, she had been so sure that the baby was a boy. He felt she had been wrong so many times. He refused to look away from her, not wanting to see our child. Bella lifted her arms slowly reaching for the baby, her limbs trembling with the effort. "Let me….." she whispered brokenly with emotion. I quickly clipped the umbilical cord and bit through it with my teeth, freeing tha child fully from her beaten body. "Give her to me." Bella asked, her voice begging. How could I say no, as weak as she was, she had been the one who fought to bring this miracle into the world. As I moved around Jacob, and the baby reached out her hand, her arm brushing against Jacobs, but he didn't turn.

I saw Bella's face as her eyes focused suddenly, and she took in the vision that was our daughter, as she nestled in my arms, her eyes welled with tears as I handed her the warm bundle that was our Renesmee. Bella crooned softly at our child as she took our child into her arms, and held her lovingly against her chest. "Renes…mee. So …beautiful." She panted between short breaths. Suddenly Bella gasped, her voice pained. I pulled the baby out of her arms as I realized what had happened. There over Bella's left breast, was a tiny, double crescent bite mark. The baby had bitten her.

"No, Renesmee ," I chided softly. It was not acceptable to bite her mother, but the child must be hungry, and there was blood everywhere. I turned as I heard Jacob moving, his hands were pounding away at Bella's chest, and I heard the blood being forced through her now still heart, the only beating was being done by his hands. His emotions were heavy as he worked. "What are you waiting for?" He spat at me. The baby was safe, now I had to save Bella.

"Take the baby." I told him urgently. I needed my hands to work on her. "Throw it out the window." He hissed at me, he wanted nothing to do with the child, the thing that had killed Bella. "Give her to me, "A voice rang out from the mangled doorway. I growled realizing that Rosalie had returned, and Jacob growled as well. His thoughts were very clear at this moment, If his hands weren't keeping Bella alive they would be wrapped around Rosalie's neck. "I've got it under control, "Rosalie said, "give me the baby, Edward. I'll take care of her until Bella…." I read her thoughts, and knew that she spoke truly, her blood lust was gone, and her thoughts were only for the baby. I needed my hands to save Bella, so I handed the bundle, that was my daughter, reluctantly to Rosalie.

The moment my hands were free, I raced to the cupboard and grabbed the metal syringe that held the venom that I had collected. I knew that her heart was not going to make it, I could hear its strength failing with each passing moment. "Move your hands" I told Jacob as I prepared to inject the massive amount of venom directly into her heart. He looked up at me, "What is that?" He asked not moving his hands. Damn him, why didn't he ever listen. I knocked his hands away, clearing the space directly above her heart, and I plunged the needle through her chest, and into her failing heart. "My venom, "I answered as I emptied the syringe into her heart. Please let this work.

Her heart jolted under my hands, making her body jump. "Keep it moving," I commanded Jacob pointing to her chest. He didn't reply, but he set to work doing compressions again. Jacob noticed the immediate difference in her blood, it took more effort to make her heart pump, moving the blood through her already weak system. I set to work, going over the contingency plan that I had made in my head.

I moved to her throat, allowing my teeth to slice through her soft skin, allowing my venom to enter her system. I had imagined this very scenario many times when we had first met, and no matter how delectable her blood had seemed to me then, now it burned my tongue. Tasting her blood was the last thing that I wanted now, I just wanted her to live, even if it meant that she would be like me. I wanted her forever. To hold her, to touch her, to worship her.

I ran my tongue over where I had bitten her, m venom sealing the wound. The I moved to the soft inside of her arm, and repeated the same movement. I moved unthinkingly, piercing her soft flesh at whatever place I could smell her blood pulsing the strongest, then seared it closed with my venom, so as not to allow a single unnecessary drop to escape from her body.

I could hear through Jacob's thoughts that he was watching me, and he quickly realized what I was doing. He knew that I was trying to save this precious creature, and as long as she survived in some form, he was willing to accept whatever actions I took to do it. Jacob kept forcing the venom through her heart with each press to her chest and I worked at trying to fix her up, removing the placenta, and trying to clean up her wounds, to stitch her back together again.

As Jacob watched I could feel his hope seeping from him, she was gone. We were working on her lifeless form and the pull that he had felt to her in life had suddenly seemed to drop. She was lost as far as he was concerned. I was not giving up so easily. He was convinced that she was gone, so I snapped at him, "Go then." And I slapped his hands away from her, feeling his bones break beneath the force of the impact. I knew that it was not too late, I would stay here as long as it took, to make this work. I needed her, Renesmee needed her. There was no point to an existence without her in it.

Jacob moved silently away, his thoughts coiling upon themselves, full of despair, and loathing. I took his place at Bella's chest. My cold hands pressing her chest cavity over and over, forcing her heart to move the venom through her body, pausing only to force air into her lungs every few pumps.

I tried to close out Jacobs torturous thoughts as I worked, pump, pump, pump, pump, breath. I would keep her alive, I would see that she made it, I would give her the forever she had asked me for so many times, but I had pushed aside with my fear that I would be stealing her life from her. Jacob was sure that I was in denial, but I refused to give up hope as he had. I could hear his thoughts, and feel the anger her had at everything around him, at me, at my family, at Bella, but most of all at our new daughter. He wanted to kill her.

I couldn't leave my post at Bella's side, and I had to have faith that my family would protect Renesmee while I saved Bella. I could hear Jacob's thoughts as they darkened and he contemplated the odds of killing our child. He must have been insane. Everything else seemed quiet, no one else seemed to sense Jacob's intent. But at that instant everything changed.

I saw the image of my daughter in Jacob's mind. Her gaze held his, the way that rays of sun held warmth. He was unable to think, to move. I felt his world shift as her eyes penetrated to the very depths of his heart and soul. And Jacob came undone. His wrath and anger dissipated under her gaze, and his heart swelled. I realized what was happening, Jacob was imprinting on my daughter, my newborn child!

I wanted to run down and to throw him from the house but in that same instant I felt Bella's heart lurch under my touch as it suddenly started to beat on its own. Its beat was erratic, and racing, the venom moving through her thickening blood, but it was beating, and that was all that mattered to me. I stood beside my love, and listened to the thoughts of my family as they picked up the sound of her racing heartbeat, even Jacob had noticed the sound in his imprint induced stupor.

It wasn't over, she was fighting. My love was a fighter, and she wasn't willing to give up on what we had together. If her tenacity could hold out even a little bit longer, than we would have everything we had ever dreamed of together. I stood beside her and silently prayed that everything would turn out alright.


	26. Chapter 27

Isle Esme

Chapter 26

**This chapter is coming at you un-beta-ed. I am sorry for the space between updates, but as always, my internet is on the fritz and I am posting this from work. I am also working on my own book, and going over an amazing book series from a young woman I know, and it has knocked my socks off,(she is every bit amazing As Mrs Meyers, but you will have to wait for it to be published to find out as my lips are sealed! I am also getting an award from the Autism society this week, and that is the day before the anniversary of my dad's death, so craziness all around. Please don't be annoyed with me. When the holiday's come up, I will get more chances to do some writing.**

**Disclaimer: This all belongs to Stephanie Meyers, I own nothing…..literally not even my car…sheesh!**

Edwards POV.

My mind was a frozen, void, an abyss unlike any that had ever been imagined before. Bella lay before me lifeless, the only signs that showed me that she still lived were her shallow breaths and the racing of her heart as the venom burned its way through her body. Jacob had left me, unwilling to watch her die, and I had continued alone in my quest to save her. I had fought so hard against her going through this change, and now I prayed, yes I actually prayed to G-d with every ounce of my being for her to pull through, for her to be with me forever. I couldn't lose her like this, not even being able to say goodbye. Alice had popped in waiting silently behind me as I sat vigil by Bella's side.

She had lain a hand on my shoulder, and as much as I loved my sister, I could take no comfort in her presence. I was focused on Bella, nothing else could touch me now. I watched each rise of her chest as her breath flowed rapidly in and out of her lungs. Her chest straining against each inhalation. Her face was calm, showing nothing, her body motionless aside from the up and down created with each breath. Had I done enough? Was I too late? We had come through so much, was it all pointless?

No matter what, I would sit by her side. Whether it be waiting for her to open her eyes to join me in a wonderful forever, a forever filled with the love and adoration that I would lavish upon her for being the most amazing woman I had been privileged to know and love, or if it was to be by her side as she took her last breath. I would not leave her side for as long as she was a part of this world, even if I was not a part of it for long afterwards. I had already decided that if Bella was to leave this world that I would do my duty by our child, than I would ask Jacob and his pack to help me meet her in the afterlife that I hope awaited us together. I was sure that Jacob wouldn't deny me my request. But until I knew what was going to happen I could only wait…., wait and watch.

Even in my tuned out state I could hear the thoughts of my family floating around me. Rosalie's thoughts centered on Renesmee, and how perfect she was, she adored my daughter, but then who wouldn't. Renesmee was asking for Bella, sending her thoughts out to whoever she could touch. I was shocked by Rose's response though. " _Your mama will be with you soon, she loves you very much, and she is doing everything she can to be here with you_." I was touched, I knew how much Rose wanted to be a mother, and how upset she was at Bella for wanting to be one of us, but she was letting my daughter know all the important things, that her mother loved her and that she was doing everything possible to be there for our child.

Alice's thoughts reached out to me gently, _Edward? I can see her more clearly now since the baby was born, she is going to be simply gorgeous…. You did the right thing._ I ignored her, knowing that her visions could change in an instant, worried that this could be one of those times. Alice continued to stay there silently until I felt Jasper's thoughts as he came up behind her._ She is just trying to let you know what is going on Edward, she is hurting too._

"Come on love," He said to Alice, "Let Edward be hon, he just needs to be alone with Bella." He was annoying me. I knew that Bella was Alice's best friend, but she was my soul, my love my…everything, and hearing how hard this was on someone else was the last thing that I needed right now. I just wanted to be with her, near her, as if I could soak in her very essence just by being so close to her. I wanted her to know that I was by her side, and I hoped she could feel me with her, that she could know that I loved her with every part of me. I wanted her to know that I now knew that I had a soul. She was my soul, and I couldn't live without her now that I had finally found her. And so I would wait.

I heard in Esme's thoughts that She wanted to bring the baby up to see Bella. Alice flitted in with a silky blue dress in a wash basin in hand. I was irritated, but once I heard her thoughts, I allowed her near Bella. _Renesmee wants to see her, and right now she is a mess, she needs to be cleaned up before then_. Alice undressed her carefully, each touch was gentle and loving, and I noticed that the venom had worked its way over the area of her wounds, closing them from the inside. That had to be a good sign, maybe Alice was right. Alice washed her skin off with cool soapy water, washing away the traces of blood that clung to her skin. Then she gently raised Bella's torso off the table and she slipped on the icy blue silk garment. She turned to me and smiled as she gathered up the bloody sheets and threw them into a nearby garbage pail, "I told you so."

A while later Esme came with Renesmee, she wanted to see her mother, and Esme thought that it would be best for her to see Bella for herself. I held out my hands to Esme, and she gently handed Renesmee to me. I could hear Jacob pacing in the hallway outside the room. Renesmee reached up her small hand and touched my cheek, her skin was almost as warm as her beautiful chocolate eyes….Bella's eyes. Her thoughts flashed across my eyes, full of question. Her face scrunched up as a flurry of words flashed across my mind with a picture of Bella from when she had held Renesmee after her birth. _Mama?…Mother?…Mommy? _ She showed me who had taught her those words, and she knew that all of them were her mother, our Bella.

I turned her in Bella's direction, and pointed to her mother. "Mommy is sleeping , she is very sick, but I hope she can be with us soon." I told her giving her the softest kiss on her cheek. Renesmee sat silently with me, and I hummed to her, and to Bella, and soon my daughter fell asleep in my arms. Her thoughts full of bright colors. Esme offered her arms to take the baby, and after kissing her one last time, I relinquished her to her grandmother's arms. I glanced at Esme for a moment, I could feel the happiness and sadness the mixed in her thoughts. She was thrilled with being a grandmother, but this had all reminded her of her own child that she had lost.

I reached out to her to pull her into a hug, but she swatted my hand away._ I'm fine son, It is just such an emotional thing, I have moved on from my loss, I am just so happy to have this new joy in my life._ Esme smiled at me, and I let her be, knowing that she was being truthful, but knowing that it hurt her all the same. Here was someone who could understand what I felt, the fear, the loneliness, the desolation. To lose a child and to lose a spouse were to very different things, but loss in itself was the same. I shook off the thought of losing Bella, and focused on the constants, Bella's beating heart, the pulse under her skin, her breathing. I focused on the possibility of what could be. The possibility of her and I together ………forever.

Jasper's POV

This house was driving me crazy. Alice was stressing, first she was worried about Bella because she wouldn't see her in her visions, and now that the child had been born she was worried about Edward. Rosalie's emotions were all over the board, happy, sad, excited, forlorn, and Esme was the same. Both were s full of happiness and grief that I was torn between wanting to cry, and wanting to laugh for pure joy. Carlisle was proud, proud of Edward for handling the situation, for delivering the baby and for treating Bella. Emmett was stuck to Rose's side, happy and sad for her at the same time. Jacob, well his head was full of love and adoration towards Renesmee, he was worried that anyone might hurt her, and he refused to leave her side for a moment.

Edward was the worse, he was so torn between grief and hope that he refused to let himself embrace either one fully. The torrent of emotions was making me want to run away, but I couldn't. I had a responsibility to my family. Bella was changing, and she would awake a newborn soon. A voracious, ranivous newborn, capable of hurting any member of our family to get what she wanted, and it was my job to keep her in check, to monitor her emotions and to know when she was about to lose control over herself.

I have worked with hundreds of newborns over the years, and have killed hundreds with my own two hands. I had worked for years raising them to fight in armies, and killing them when they were no longer useful to a cause, finally leaving when I just couldn't do it anymore, killing just to kill, what a waste. I hated to remember where my skills had come from, but I had them nonetheless. I understood newborn vampires more than they understood themselves, because everything was all so new, they were ruled by their needs and desires, making then dangerous, unless you knew where their weaknesses lay. I would protect my family, and because she was so important to my Alice, and to Edward and most of the rest of my family I would protect Bella too, even if it was from herself.

I had to admit that I had rarely felt a curiosity like the one that now had hold of me. I have been around newborn vampires, and even around the occasional human child, but nothing like Renesmee. She gave of the most pure emotions of anything I had ever felt. Love and acceptance for the people in our family, patience and worry about her mother. I couldn't help myself from going over to sit by Alice as she held her, talking about the clothes she would buy for the child.

The child was small, but very aware, her eyes clear and full of understanding. As she listened to people speak she seemed to learn what they were saying and her emotions would change as she understood more and the words she heard. She understood thirsty as soon as she had her first meal, and anytime someone said thirsty to her, she would push her need and want out as emotions until I practically had to run to get her food from Rosalie who was not getting it ready fast enough just to quiet her down. Then as I gave her cup to Alice to feed her, she looked at me and sent out the most overwhelming gratitude, she knew that I had been the one to get it for her. She was unlike any newborn I had ever seen.

Her emotions were more intense depending on the level of her need, the worse they were the more they prompted me to do whatever I could to help out, or to hurry along those who were doing things for her. When she wasn't experiencing her newborn needs she was so calm and, just, well happy that it was impossible not to feel it too, sitting close to her made me feel content. I ignored the teasing from Emmett about how she had me wrapped around her little finger, and laughed at him heartily when Rosalie made him change her diaper. Who has who wrapped around their little finger?

I had never imagined that our home could have gotten any happier, there had always been so much love amongst everyone in our home, and Since Edward had found Bella it had only increased. This little child had increased it what it had been by tenfold, it was as if she opened a part of us that had never been possible, and therefore never missed, than she had come along and shown us what we had been missing. I wondered if our family would ever be the same.


	27. Note

Author's note

I will most definitely be updating this within the week, and I apologize that I am not putting up a chapter tonight. I am looking for feedback at this time. I have had many suggestions for ideas for this story, and many would like it to continue as Renesmee grows up, while others think it should end with the first sexual encounter as full equals. I have even had people suggest that I take it to when Bella and Jacob become grandparents.

Could you take a moment and let me know what you like?

Thanks

Jennifer


	28. Chapter 29

Chapter 27

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight! I just love it, but it all belongs to StephenieMeyer.

**A/N Well here is the next chapter. I hope everyone is looking forward to it, and I hope you think that it was worth the wait! Happy Holidays.**

**Special thanks go out to my wonderful beta Cullenfest. She is an amazing lady, and now, a good friend.**

The smell of morphine had now left Bella's body completely. She was still unmoving, and the lack of sound and movement was alarming me. I had seen Esme, Rose, and Emmett go through their changes, and they had screamed and thrashed, fighting to find a way to escape the pain. Yet here lay my precious Bella, and she motionless amidst the fiery torture that wracked through her body. Carlisle had come in to check on her, and he tried to keep his thoughts from me. He was of two minds, part of him worried about her immobile state, while part of him wondered at possibly having found a way to make the conversion from human to vampire less painful.

"Still no change?" he asked softly, he knew that I was not in the mood for speaking. "None." I muttered harshly. It was hard to carry on regular conversations when Bella lay so close, so real, and yet so empty beside me. "There's no scent of morphine left." Carlisle said, as if to take my mind off of my despair in order to focus on measly details. "I know." I said, wondering if perhaps the lack of morphine meant that she might be closer to gaining consciousness.

I had been speaking to her on and off, humming to her, telling her that I loved her beyond words. They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but Bella and all that she represented to me, was beyond words. "Bella? Can you hear me?" Carlisle spoke softly. I took her hand in my own, unsure if the pressure on her hand would cause pain, of if the coolness of my skin would bring her a moment of relief from the burning embrace that held her in its bosom.

Carlisle's thoughts explained that maybe she would be able to hear us now that she was further into her change. Maybe Carlisle was right. "Bella? Bella, love? Can you open your eyes? Can you squeeze my hand?" I asked her. My voice thick with hope and fear as they conflicted with one another. Nothing happened, not a single twitch. I was losing a battle with my consciousness. I had never done this before, had I done something wrong? Had I been too late? Had I lost her forever?

"Maybe…Carlisle, maybe I was too late." I said brokenly. Carlisle's thoughts were sympathetic. "Listen to her heart, Edward. It's stronger than even Emmett's was. I've never heard anything so vital. She'll be perfect." He said calmly. His thoughts reflected that he believed his own words, he was not simply placating me, he really felt she would pull through. I wish I had his optimism. "And her—her spine?" I asked thinking of the ear shattering crack that had broken her body. Carlisle thought over his memories, drawing forward Esme's change. She had thrown herself from a cliff and had seemed dead when Carlisle had come across her. Her injuries had been extensive, but Bella's had just been so thoroughly destroying.

"Her injuries weren't so much worse than Esme's. The venom will heal her as it did Esme. He knew that I was reading his thoughts and comparing how badly Esme was hurt to how Bella had been injured. But he was right, the venom had healed every damage she had sustained. Looking at Bella's still form I knew that it had worked on her outer injuries, but could it repair everything that been done to my love.

The venom had indeed worked on Esme, but she had screamed and wailed through the process. She had writhed and thrashed, while Bella lay as still as…death. "But she is so still. I must have done something wrong." I responded to him. Carlisle replied quickly, and kindly as most fathers would. "Or something right, Edward. Son, you did everything I could have and more. I'm not sure that I would have had the persistence, the faith it took to save her. Stop berating yourself. Bella is going to be fine."

Stop? It was easier said than done. Carlisle saved people, but I, I had brought Bella to this point, I would lay blame where it belonged, with me. "She must be in agony." I said harshly, hating myself for causing her, yet more pain in her life. Even if she pulled through, I would never forget that I had hurt her over and over, and I would do whatever I could to make it up to her through the coming centuries.

"We don't know that." Carlisle said. "She had so much morphine in her system. We don't know the effect that will have on her experience." Carlisle's thoughts were straightforward. Every person went through their own unique encounter with this transition. I gently stroked along the inside of her elbow, fingering lightly the pale silver scar that had been left by my teeth when I had bitten her. "Bella, I love you. Bella, I'm sorry." I said somberly. I was so sorry, sorry to have hurt her, to have left her last year, sorry for being the cause of so much pain in her life.

Carlisle's thoughts turned to the situation downstairs, partly trying to sort through it, but partly trying to take my mind off Bella for a moment, not that that was possible.

_Rosalie is getting mad at Jacob again. He doesn't want her near the baby. He is worried that she isn't holding her properly. Perhaps you should go down and sort out the situation with your daughter?_

"No, I'm staying right here," I said in an aggravated whisper. They were behaving ridiculously downstairs, but I knew that they were both thinking only of Renesmee's best interests. "They'll sort it out." "An interesting situation," Carlisle said thinking about the fact that my daughter had been imprinted on by a young werewolf. "And I'd thought I'd seen just about everything." His tone was lighthearted, but he was correct, it was a strange situation. One never imagined that a human vampire hybrid was possible, let alone the possibility of that half-breed child imprinting on a werewolf.

"I'll deal with it later." I said irritated, then I amended my words, "We'll deal with it." I said leaning forward to kiss Bella's palm with my lips. I was irritated that I had spoken as if she would not be there to help sort out this situation. Thinking like that would not improve the circumstances, so I turned my thoughts back to the topic. "I'm sure, between the five of us, we can keep it from turning into bloodshed." Carlisle responded.

"I don't know which side to take, I'd love to flog them both. Well, later." I said. "I wonder what Bella will think—whose side she'll take," Carlisle mused aloud. I had to laugh at his question, though it came out a bit strangled. "I'm sure she'll surprise me. She always does." I said truthfully.

She did in fact always surprise me. From the moment we met, and her scent caused my head to reel with its intensity. Then her ability to see details so easily overlooked by others. She had astonished me from the first moment when she had not fled in fear after she had surmised what I truly was. But most of all she had dumbfounded me with the fact that she loved me, and chose me over all else. She never ceased to amaze me.

I could hear Alice making her way down the hall to the room, her eager feet moving lightly on the floor. She entered the room in flash. "How much longer?" I asked her, desperate for information. "It won't be long know," she said in her musical tone. "See how clear she is becoming. I can see her so much better. Alice said with a sigh. I had heard how annoyed she had been at not being able to see Bella properly due to the baby. "Still feeling a little bitter?" I asked humorlessly.

"Yes, thanks so much for bringing it up." She replied growling quietly. "You would be mortified, too, if you realized that you were handcuffed by your own nature. I see vampires best, because I am one; I see humans okay, because I was one. But I can't se these odd half-breeds at all because they are nothing I've experienced. Bah!" She exclaimed in annoyance.

"Focus, Alice." I said reminding her that I needed her to try and see when Bella might wake. "Right. Bella's almost too easy to see now. She said happy that she wasn't blinded any longer. Her mind went blank as she searched for Bella. Her mind swirled and then came into clear focus. Bella was staring up at us from the bed, in her vision. Her eyes were bright red, but she was alright. She was breathtaking, as she had always been, but somehow even more, though I would never had imagined that that could have been possible. I sighed in relief, knowing that she was, indeed, going to come out of this.

"She's really going to be fine," I said breathing out in a rush of suppressed air. "Of course she is." Alice countered, annoyed that I was second- guessing her."You weren't so sanguine two days ago." I chided her, more light hearted since I had seen with my own mind the vision of Bella waking. Alice's thoughts were sharp and annoyed as she replied. "I couldn't see right two days ago. But now that she's free of all the blind spots, it's a piece of cake."

I was growing impatient, wanting to know more precisely when she would wake. "Could you concentrate for me? On the clock-give me an estimate." I wanted to know down to the exact second, but I knew that was only going to annoy my tiny sister further if I asked. Alice huffed at me, and rolled her eyes in a very child like manner. "So impatient. Fine. Give me a sec-" I read her thoughts as she searched the future once more. Then I saw that it would only be a few more minutes, and I cheered up immensely. "Thank you, Alice" I said, much more at ease now that I knew it was almost over.

"She is going to be dazzling." Alice said, her mind was already busy with the shopping ventures she and Bella would do together. She was sure that Bella would appreciate the fine fabrics and designs that she so loved now that her senses would be keener then before when she was human. But the comment irritated me, Bella had always been glorious. "She always has been." I snapped, growling my irritation.

Alice held up her hands. "You know what I mean. Look at her." I didn't need to look, I had watched every moment, and I knew that she was referring to how her conversion had refined her features, and the added luster to her hair, the way her curves were more defined, more womanly. But Bella had always been breathtaking, and I didn't care what anyone thought, Bella would always be perfect.

Alice swept out of the room lightly, tossing her thoughts at me as she left.

_I know you always thought she was beautiful, Edward. But now she will be even more stunnin_g_._

I could hear the continued bickering downstairs between Jacob and Rosalie. Jacob was holding her, and Rosalie was vying for her next turn to hold her. This was going to be interesting indeed. Emmett was trying to mediate between the two while he watched as baseball game. I suddenly was brought back to Bella. Her heart rate had suddenly shot up, and I knew that meant that the end was coming.

"Carlisle," I called calmly knowing that he would hear me wherever he was, and that he would come right here. Carlisle sped to the room, Alice by his side, anticipating Bella's awakening. "Listen." I said indicating the harried beating of her heart. It was pounding away so intensely that I knew he must have heard it before he even entered the room. "Ahh." Carlisle said evenly, "It's almost over." I had thought so as well, but I was not about to trust myself, I had made more than enough mistakes.

"Soon," Alice agreed with him. Her mind was playing over her vision of Bella waking up. Her face was eager, and a smile played on her lips. "I"ll get the others. Should I have Rosalie…?" She broke off. Her thoughts finished her sentence.

_Keep the baby away, just in case?_

"Yes-- keep the baby away". Carlisle said simply in reply. Suddenly Bella's fingers twitched, I grasped her fingers in mine. "Bella? Bella, love?" I asked, hoping that she could hear me. "I'll bring them right up," Alice said quickly. Her tone was pressing, and with that she swept quickly from the room. She had barely passed the doorway when Bella's heart rate picked up even faster, like the high paced thrumming of a humming birds wings. The others had swarmed into the room just as her back arched up off of the table as if pulled by an invisible cord.

She froze in that horribly contorted position for a moment, her every muscles pushing to its extreme. Then she fell back onto the table with a thud. I heard her heart thump loudly against her ribs, a loud, lone, erratic beat that shook her slight frame in its entirety. The harsh sound was followed by few faint, half stuttered thuds, and then all was silent. I held my breath in anticipation, waiting hoping…wanting, and then her eyes opened.


	29. Chapter 31

A/N

I want to offer an apology to anyone who felt that this chapter did not live up to the rest of my story. I have decided to write a few smaller chapters to cover the same section more thoroughly, and will replace the final chapter with them once they are completed. It will take a week or two to do it, as I am working on a mural for a friend who is expecting a baby in a few weeks, but I promise that it is coming.

I did not try to rush it, though I had chosen to cover a larger expanse of time in a smaller amount of writing. The final lemon, will probably change as I re write it though. I hope no one felt let down, but if you did, please know that I was not trying to let you down, and that I take your criticisms seriously. I will re vamp ( no pun intended…lol) the ending and bring it up to par with the rest of the story!

Jennifer


	30. Chapter 32

A/N

**So here I am attempting this again. I will not be glazing over like I did in the first attempt, so I hope everyone enjoys this more this time around.**

**Thanks again to Cullenfest for being an awesome beta, check out her stories sometime.**

**Dedication: This chapter is dedicated to nicky284, thanks for your feedback. I tried to private message you, but wasn't able to. Hope you enjoy it! :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of it's character's, they are all property of the talented Stephenie Meyer. I just get to play with them for your enjoyment. **

Chapter 28

Edward's POV

Bella's eyes had flickered open and her gaze fixated on the ceiling above her. I could only imagine how she was perceiving things with her new vision, remembering how the smallest microscopic details had fascinated me when I had opened my new eyes for the first time. Bella's chest suddenly expanded as she took in a breath of unneeded air. I speculated about how she must be consuming the vast new information that her mind could register now. I had been holding her hand in mine for most of the past few days, and gave her a gentle reassuring squeeze to make my presence known. I wanted her to know that I was still here, that I hadn't left her side.

Her body stiffened minutely then with the speed and grace of a newborn vampire she launched herself off of the table in a flawless back flip. A hiss escaped her lips as she crouched defensively against the wall by the bed that had been her pyre, only moments before.

No sooner had Bella landed with the grace of a dancer, than she looked at me, and her face registered dismay. I had forgotten how different my skin and body temperature would feel to her now, and I berated myself for acting unconsciously as she righted herself.

I leaned across the table slowly, offering my hand, hoping that after the pain I had put her through, that she could still want me, could still love me as she had before. My heart filled with anxiety as I contemplated the thought that maybe in this new body, she might not desire me the same way she had before her change. My chest ached with pain as I tried to shake off the nagging worries. I used my mind to reach out to her subconscious hoping that maybe now, finally I would be able to get a glimpse into her thoughts, but once more I was met with an impenetrable wall surrounding her mind.

Bella's eyes locked onto mine and a quick succession of emotions flitted across her features, too quickly for me to grasp what they were. She stood against the wall frozen as if she were a statue carved from the most flawless marble by the hand of God himself. Her lack of movement worried me, was she having second thoughts? Did she remember who I was? Had she forgotten me?

I cautiously moved around the table, taking my steps slowly, treading only a miniscule distance letting her watch my approach. Jasper's thoughts screamed through my head.

_Edward, don't push her. I know you're worried by her-she is confused, her emotions are all over the place. Give her time to adjust ….._

I didn't pay any heed to his concerns though. I needed her to know that I was here for her. I kept my hand outstretched in her direction, hoping that she would sense that I meant no threat to her, as I carefully maneuvered myself around the table step by step. I watched her carefully studying her as she studied my approach. "Bella?" I asked cautiously, softly, not wanting to overwhelm her new senses. I could not keep from speaking out in my heart's unspoken hope. Her eyes widened slightly, but aside from that, I detected no movement from her still form.

I had to hear her, to know what she was thinking, feeling…to know if she was still mine or all of this would have been for nothing. I inwardly cringed at the thought that she may have lost her memory of me during her transformation. "Bella, love?" I tried again, being sure to keep my voice calm and soothing. "I'm sorry, I know it's disorienting. But you're all right. Everything is fine." Or at least it will be once I can hold you in my arms, I thought worriedly.

Still she remained unmoving and my fear grew. Would Bella be one of those transformations that had not worked properly? I had heard of newborns who had gone insane from being unable to grasp the way their new minds functioned, it was a sensory overload, and they had to be destroyed. Others retained no memories of their former self, like Alice. If that was what had happened, would Bella be able to learn to love me again? Would she be able to be near our daughter?

I had now closed the space between us, and the urge to reach out and touch her was overwhelming me, all thought and reason had left me, and she was all that remained. Her scent still surrounded me, filling my senses, except now without the burn from before so I could fully enjoy the bouquet of her aroma fully for the first time. I slowly reached out my hand to caress the curve of her cheek with my fingertips as the scent of freesias and strawberries ensnared me.

Her skin was now cooler, not as burning as it had been before, and more firm. As I ran my fingertips along the line of her jaw, I felt the silkiness of her skin against my skin and I relished in the feeling of our skin connecting once more. I opened my palm to fully cup her cheek in my hand, as she still had not moved. I watched her questioningly, and even raised a eyebrow in question, but said nothing so as not to push her too far in these early moments.

I was so intent on watching Bella's face that her first movement caught me by surprise. Suddenly I found her pressed to me with her arms wrapped tightly around me. Her skin was soothing and warm against mine, not to mention tantalizingly close. Her arms pressed themselves tightly around me and I relished her firm touch, comparing it to the feather light touches we had shared in earlier moments of love, and I found that I enjoyed them both. Suddenly the pressure she was using became constricting and I leaned away from her gently, not letting myself separate from her fully.

Bella looked up at me, her crimson eyes wide with fear, and I realized that she thought I was rejecting her being so close. I spoke softly, not wanting her to misunderstand. "Um… carefully, Bella. Ow." Comprehension dawned on her glorious face instantly and she pulled her arms away from me, folding them primly behind her back. She mouthed the word "oops" and I smiled at her, wanting her to know that there was nothing to concern herself about.

"Don't panic, love." I said, raising my hand to touch her lips that were parted in an expression of concern. "You're just a bit stronger than I am at the moment." I said, loving the fact that she wanted to touch me. Her eyebrows creased together but the distress slipped away as I stroked her cheek with the back of my knuckles. Her skin was so smooth, like the surface of freshly fallen snow before anything had disturbed it.

Bella hesitantly brought her right arm out from behind her back and raised her hand to touch my cheek tenderly. Her touch sent electricity coursing through my body, to each and every last cell of my being. I relished in the feeling of coming home once more. I gazed at her, love, longing, want and need radiating between us, and then she opened her lips and spoke the words that I had missed hearing through all of those days of silence, the words that I had whispered to her over and over as she lay there in silence. "I love you."

Her voice was the sweetest sound that had ever been heard in this world, and I couldn't withhold the joyful smile that escaped, showing my joy for all to see. "As I love you," I told her, my heart on my sleeve. Without hesitating another moment I took her face delicately in my hands, moving slowly in hopes to remind her that she was now stronger than me without drawing her attention to it too harshly, and I kissed her.

I kissed her in a way that I had never been able to before. It was the first kiss that I had ever shared with her where I had been able to show her my love without restraint. I wove my fingers through her silky tresses and held her face to mine as I explored her lips, and felt her lips part for mine in turn. There was no holding back now, I grazed her lips with my teeth, something I never would have done before due to the sharpness of my teeth and the fear of hurting her. I let my tongue beg hers for entrance and almost moaned when she granted it, letting her tongue dance with mine as they tasted one another for the first time. Feeling Bella respond with the same intensity was the highest heights of heaven that I could have ever hoped for.

I had tuned out my family, focusing instead on the feeling of her soft body in my arms, her taste on my lips. However suddenly Bella half stepped away, and I heard my family chuckling in their thoughts.

_Wow, and I thought Rose was an animal! Get a room Eddie boy!_

_They look so wonderful together, I am so happy_

_See Son, I told you everything would be alright, I will have to talk to Bella about her transformation after she has hunted though._

_I hope she likes the dress I picked out, maybe now she will have a better sense of fashion._

_Edward please just take her out to hunt, her emotions are all over the place, Having fed will help her focus._

I tuned them all out and smiled at Bella, who looked embarrassed, and I wrapped my arms fully around her waist, not wanting to spend even a moment not touching her ever again. Bella took a deep breath, and started back at me intently. I wondered what she was thinking when suddenly her sing song- voice spoke out. "You've been holding out on me!" as she narrowed her eyes at me

I couldn't hold back the laugh of pleasure that burst out of my lips at her words. "It was sort of necessary at the time." I chided her softly, then I gave her something to think about. "Now it's your turn not to break me." I said with a laugh. She frowned at that and set us all to laughing. This was more than I could have hoped. Not only did she remember me, but she wanted me as much as I wanted her. Jasper's thoughts were full of trepidation now; _Edward, I can sense how happy you both are, but she needs to hunt, her emotions can make her unpredictable, please stop distracting her._

I smiled again, happy to know that she could be so distracted by my slightest touch. This was going to be an amazing adventure that we were going to take, and I wasn't going to miss a single moment of experiencing it with her.


	31. Chapter 33

Chapter 29

**A/N: I am ever thankful to Cullenfest my friend and beta, she always takes time to get my work back to me even when she is swamped with her own work and writing.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Twilight! I may enjoy every minute I get to be immersedemersed [immersed?] in it, but it all belongs to the wonderful Stephenie Meyer.**

**Dedication: This Chapter is for nicky284. I hope that your wonderful guy is doing well at the hospital and that this chapter helps occupy your mind, even if only for a few minutes.**

**I want to thank you for your message and would love to chat with you privately, but I am unable to, sorry, but I appreciated every last comment from you!**

**Jen**

Edward's POV

As Carlisle walked around Emmett, who was still smirking at Bella, his eyes betrayed the thoughts that were on his mind, both were wary, unsure of how Bella would react to him approaching her. Bella didn't move in my arms, but she blinked rapidly, as if to focus her eyes.

"How do you feel, Bella?" he asked her. Bella's response was quick, and to the point. "Overwhelmed. There's so much….." she said falling silent once more. Her voice was musical, each syllable slipping from her lips like a melodic song. Carlisle watched her, carefully thinking of how to phrase his reply. "Yes, it can be quite confusing." Bella affirmed her agreement with a single nod of her head. "But I feel like me. Sort of. I didn't expect that." She responded.

She had been worried about what she would be like after she had awakened, even though I had told her that we were all still very like our human selves. Just imagining what it would have been like if Bella had awoken as someone unlike her human self was impossible-this world would not have been bearable without her unique personality to grace it. I squeezed her waist to remind myself that it didn't matter because she was here, and she was her effervescent self, I had no reason to panic.

"I told you so" I whispered in her ear, reaffirming my presence to her. I wanted her to know that I was here for her, and that she would not go through this alone. I was planning to never let her out of my sight again, or my arms if I could help it.

Carlisle was observing Bella's actions, and he was impressed. "You are quite controlled," He murmured aloud, "More so than I expected, even with the time you had to prepare yourself mentally for this." Carlisle was documenting her every movement and word in his mind to be studied again at a later time. He was fascinated by the way she behaved.

_Edward, this is amazing, just imagine for a moment the advancements that we have just made. She hardly made a sound, and now she seems almost serene. We may have discovered a way to ease others through their transformations in a more comfortable way._

Bella whispered a response to his word, "I'm not sure about that." Her response caused me to wonder once more, what she must be thinking. hHow I wished for even the tiniest glimpse into her mind. Carlisle nodded, realizing that even if she seemed controlled to us, she may indeed be experiencing more than we were able to tell. His thoughts continued to go over her transformation, and how much easier it had seemed to have gone compared to others he had witnessed.

"It seems we did something right with the morphine this time. Tell me, what do you remember of the transformation process?" He queried. I leaned closer to hear her response, letting my breath caress her cheek the way my hands wished to. I too was wondering if indeed everything had been easier as Carlisle suspected.

Bella was quiet for a moment then answered. "Everything was…very dim before." She said slowly, then suddenly her body stiffened in my arms. "I remember the baby couldn't breathe…" She glanced at me over her shoulder, her eyes conveying her concern for our child, at not recalling what had happened. "Renesmee is healthy and well," I assured her, knowing that she felt as much love for our child as I did, and needing to put any fears she had for her to rest. "What do you remember after that?" I pressed her, wanting to know what she had heard, felt and thought, wanting to know everything that only she could withhold from me.

Bella's face became focused, as if she were trying to recall something. "It's hard to remember. It was so dark before. And then… I opened my eyes and I could see everything." She said the word everything with such emphasis that I almost laughed aloud, recalling how everything had looked to me when I had first opened my new eyes. Her eyes would see so much more now, more light, more colors, and every possible detail…literally everything.

"Amazing," Carlisle responded, barely containing his excitement at her seemingly uncomplicated transformation. Bella did not reply right away, perhaps she was gathering her thoughts. I was pondering what she must be thinking when Carlisle spoke again. "I want you to think—to tell me everything you remember." Carlisle said emphatically, excitement coloring his words. Bella suddenly grimanced, as Bboth Carlisle's and Jasper's thoughts struck through my mind with their intensity.

_How forgetful of me, the poor child must be so thirsty._

_Edward her emotions are all over the board, she needs to feed before she loses control!_

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Bella," Carlisle apologized contritely, his face a mask of remorse, "Of course your thirst must be very uncomfortable. This conversation can wait." Bella's hand flew up to her throat, and I could imagine the fire that must be burning there. Jasper was right -she needed to hunt, and soon. , wWe were not being fair to her. I dropped my arms from around her waist, instead taking her smooth warm hand in mine. "Let's hunt, Bella." I offered, wanting to ease her suffering.

Her eyes widened as she looked at me. She must be worried, . I admonished myself for not being more thoughtful as to how unsure she must be feeling. "It's quite easy, love. Instinctual. Don't worry, I'll show you." I offered encouragingly. She still didn't move and I wondered if she was even more worried than I had thought. I smiled at her, attempting to ease her mind, "I was under the impression that you'd always wanted to see me hunt." I chided, reminding her of the request she had made to watch me when she was still human.

She laughed a merry tinkling of bells that made me imagine a lovely ballad full of joy that I could compose on the piano later. I reached up to gently take her other hand that was still clutched around her throat, and I ran my fingers down the elegant curve of her neck in the process. "Shall we?" I asked softly, "I don't want you to be hurting," I murmured quietly, knowing that she would hear every word I spoke now.

"I'm fine," she replied quickly, reminding me of her human self, the altruistic side of her that always put others before herself. "Wait. First." She said firmly. I was unsure why she wanted to wait, then burn must be nearly unbearable by this time. Carlisle spoke up, "Yes?" Bella responded immediately this time. "I want to see Renesmee." She said firmly. Her hands pulled away from their place in mine, and her hands flew to her abdomen, gliding over it'sits now flat surface, her face contorted in dismay as her hands clenched the soft blue fabric that covered her stomach.

_Son, that would not be a wise choice, we do not know how she would react to Renesmee. She is half human after all_. I glanced at him, acknowledging his words. Bella noticed our silent exchange. "What?" she demanded, her expression one of annoyance. I turned back to her swiftly. "Bella," I said gently. "That's not really a good idea. She's half human, love. Her heart beats, and blood runs in her veins. Until your thirst is positively under control…..You don't want to put her in danger, do you?"

Bella cast her eyes downward, and her brow furrowed as she took in my words, and thought about them. Bella suddenly looked back up at me. "Where is she?" Bella asked breathily. I didn't even need to answer her because suddenly she tilted her head slightly and I knew that she could hear the rapid thrumming of Renesmee's tiny heart, and I saw her swallow convulsively.

"Is Rosalie with her?" She asked me, turning back to face me, her brow still furrowed, as if in concern. Rosalie and Jacob. I thought to myself, replying an edited response. "Yes." Bella watched me intently. The furrow in Bella's brow became deeper, and I knew that she was worrying about something. I reached for her hands, taking them in mine to guide her out of the room, gently tugging on them to interrupt her worrisome thoughts.

"Wait," she blurted out, unmoving from her spot. "What about Jacob? And Charlie? Tell me everything that I missed. How long was I….unconscious?" The one person I didn't want her to think about right now, while she was still so tentatively in control of herself, and she was already asking about him. I glanced once more at Carlisle as his thoughts seared through my mind.

_She is going to find out about it sooner or later Edward. Renesmee is her daughter. And she is going to discover that something is going on, even as a human she was overly observant, now she will be even more so._

"What's wrong?" Bella asked, her voice rising in distress. She was watching me and Carlisle closely. "Nothing is wrong." Carlisle said, lingering on the last word. Bella's eyes narrowed suspiciously as she watched him. "nothing has changed much, actually—you were only unaware for just over two days. It was fast, as these things go. Edward did an excellent job. Quite innovative—the venom injection straight to your heart was his idea." Carlisle stopped to look at me, his eyes showing the pride that rang through his eyes.

Carlisle continued then, "Jacob is still here, and Charlie still believes that you are sick. He thinks you're in Atlanta right now, undergoing tests at the CDC. We gave him a bad number, and he's frustrated. He's been speaking to Esme." Carlisle said to finish answering Bella's questions. Her brow eased up as she took in his answers.

"I should call him..."Bella murmured softly. Then suddenly her voice rang out. "Hold on—Jacob is still here?" Bella's eyes flew from Carlisle to me. I glanced at Carlisle once more, he was right, as always she was too observant. "Bella," I said quickly. "There's much to discuss, but we should take care of you first. You have to be in pain…" She swallowed again, "But, Jacob—"She insisted. "We have all the time in the world for explanations, love." I said softly to her, wanting her to take care of herself above all else.

Bella stopped and was lost to her thoughts for a moment before responding, "Okay." The word had barely left her lips when Alice chirped from the doorway. "Wait, wait, wait!" She pranced through the room delicately, almost floating like the pixie that we all jokingly call her. She stopped in front of Bella and I. "You promised I could be there for the first time! What if you two run past something reflective?" I couldn't believe that she was bringing this up now. Bella needed to hunt, but my sprite like sister would not be deterred. "Alice—" I started, annoyed. "It will only take a second!" Alice exclaimed dashing out of the room in a flash.

Bella looked from the empty doorway, back to me. "What is she talking about?" she asked in confusion. But before I could answer Alice was back again, toting a full length mirror from Rosalie's room. Bella watched her with wide eyes. Jasper still stood silently, his thoughts aggravated. As his tiny wife came back into the room, he hovered protectively over her, watching Bella carefully. I watched his thoughts trying to gauge Bella's emotions through his thoughts. He was right, her emotions were up and down, but confusion was what he was reading off her at the moment.

He continued to watch her, and she in turn watched him, he sensed her shock as she saw him with her new eyes, and she took in the scars that covered most of his exposed skin. I was so used to seeing Jasper that I had forgotten how he would look to her now. Her body tensed itself against mine, and I read through Jasper's thoughts that she was alarmed, and feeling the need to protect herself from him. He smiled, happy that she could sense, and see his ability to protect those around us from her.

Alice interrupted the tense moment with her usual exuberant attitude. "Edward gave me grief for not getting you to a mirror before the wedding," Alice said drawing Bella's attention to what she felt was the most important task at hand. "I'm not going to be chewed out again." She exclaimed. "Chewed out?" I repeated looking at her doubtfully. She caught my glance and grinned sheepishly. "Maybe I'm overstating things", she said absently. "And maybe this has to do with your own voyeuristic gratification." I responded, knowing that this was far more for her benefit, than for Bella's. Alice winked at me as she turned the mirror towards Bella.

Bella stood frozen before the mirror, her lithe frame frozen as she studied her reflection in the glass. Her body was frozen in a graceful pose as her eyes wondered over her likeness in the glass. Suddenly her face fell as she stared straight ahead. "The eyes?" She whispered in pure horror. I moved closer to her side, imagining how she must feel to see the savage part of herself for the first time, the part of being a vampire that could not be hidden. "they'll darken up in a few months." I said softly, trying to offer her some sort of comfort. "Animal blood dilutes the color more quickly than a diet of human blood. They will turn amber first, the gold." I explained, hoping that she would be able to comprehend my words while being so engrossed in her new reflection.

"Months?" She said in a forced whisper. Jasper moved forward suddenly, picking up on her anxiety a moment before I read it from his thoughts. Bella turned away from the mirror and looked at me, then Alice, she watched us quietly then took a deep breath. "No, I'm fine," she said, her eyes flashing back to the mirror once more before turning back to us. "It's just… a lot to take in."

This time it was Jasper whose brow furrowed from his emotions. He was confused as to how she was able to control herself so well. "I don't know." I answered his thoughts aloud. Bella looked up from her reflection once more. "What question did I miss?" She asked, ever observant. "Jasper wonder's how you're doing it." I told her smiling at his confusion. I was glad that I was not the only one Bella was capable of stumping. "Doing what?" She asked.

"Controlling your emotions, Bella," Jasper answered her. "I've never seen a newborn do that- stop an emotion in it's itstracks that way. You were upset, but when you saw our concern, you reined it in, regained power over yourself. I was prepared to help, but you didn't need it." He said, his thoughts projected the same shock and awe that his words portrayed.

Bella watched him with concern, "Is that wrong?" She asked him. "No," He said, but his hesitant words betrayed him. I stroked my hands up and down the length of her arms to sooth her, but she remained frozen in place. I tried to help explain the situation to her. "It's very impressive, Bella, but we don't understand it. L… We don't know how long it can hold." I didn't want her to worry about how she was affecting everyone else. I wanted her to worry about herself, and to come with me and hunt.

Alice interrupted again, impatient to know what Bella thought of her new body. "What do you think?" She asked. Bella turned to the mirror once more. "I'm not sure," Bella answered, her face gave away nothing, leaving me to guess at her true feelings. She raised her hand, and watched her reflection follow her every movement. I sighed, irritated that I had no way to see into her thoughts as I could with everyone else.

Bella turned away from the mirror to face me, and once again I was struck by how beautiful she was. Her hair gleamed in the soft light of the house, and it showed the soft red highlights in her dark tresses. Her eyes, though red, were wide, soft and expressive. Her lips, which had always been soft and alluring, were now fuller and demanding to be kissed. This woman, who was my whole life, would have left me breathless from her beauty if I were human. This was the first time I had ever been thankful to be what I was, for she was like me now, and I was blessed to have her as mine.

Her eyes searched mine, looking for something. Her lips parted, and she chewed on her bottom lip, a habit that I had always found endearing, but now it made me want to taste her lips with my own. She breathed in and her voice flowed like honey from her lips. "Disappointed?" she asked softly. I laughed aloud, and replied, "Yes." But knew that it was not for the reasons she was pondering.

_Edward!_

Jasper's thoughts broke through my mind, warning me to be careful, but I ignored them. Bella's mouth fell open, and her eyes swelled with pain, but I wrapped my arms tightly around her, holding her to me, and pressed my lips against her flawless cheek. "I was rather hoping that I'd be able to hear your mind, now that it is more similar to my own," I murmured, "And here I am, as frustrated as ever, wondering what could possibly be going on inside your head.

I instantly felt her body relax into mine as she heard my words, and understood my jest. "Oh well," She replied flippantly, joking more like her old self. "I guess my brain will never work right. At least I'm pretty." I growled at her words, and held her tightly in my embrace. I leaned closer to her ear to be sure that she heard every last word I was about to say. "Bella, you have never been merely pretty." I said fiercely. There was nothing on the planet that could have rivaled her beauty then, or now.

Just as I was about to show her what her beauty did to me I felt Jasper push his feelings of concern onto me. They ruined the moment, making me feel his uneasiness. "All right, all right!" I said pulling away from her regretfully. "What?" Bella asked, once more unsure. "You're making Jasper more edgy by the second. He may relax a little when you've hunted." I told her. Bella looked at Jasper's drawn face, and nodded. Jasper relaxed visibly and mentally at her agreement.

"Okay. Let's hunt." Bella agreed, she unwound my arms from around her, making me feel the loss of her closeness immediately. I was about to protest when she took one of my hands in hers, and looked at me. I took her silent queuecue, and led her to the window. Our first hunt was about to begin, and I couldn't wait to share this moment with her.


	32. Chapter 34

Chapter 30

**A/N**

**So I think it's time to push my weight around. This story has 38, 840 hits, hundreds of readers, 148 favorites, and eighty two alerts. That means that for every chapter I write, that 82 of you get it sent directly to your email. I am trying to wonder why I have been getting so few reviews from the last few chapters. Reviews are the air I breathe, and lack of them makes it harder to push myself to take time away from my husband, who hates that I do this, and my children.**

**I have a challenge for you**

**I would like to see those of you who have alerts, actually take the time to review. I am even going to thank you all individually in hopes that you will know how grateful I am for you dedication to this story. **

**So here goes……**

**Thank you to: abmoreland, Adena Von Kessel, anna9319, avidhpfan6, Aya Takahashi, beans and cornbread, believeinfaeries13, Bookworm1987, butterflydoll56, CathyCullen, chocolate-emeralds, Colleen3200, Cullenfest(my Beta, and a faithful reviewer!), daydreamergr, denicachneva, Edkchesnut, edwardlover32, EdwardsMidnightLove, ellarisicity, FanNan46, Gabysuzanna, girlyitalian6, greeneyes8, Haley2014, HeartOfDarkness, ho0ii, Huntz798, illykatrina, IloveBSG, ilovethisplace, ImYourGuiltyPleasure, ItsEmilyY'all, jamielynn927, jia225, Jinx456, jules99, justyours, kkendall, kkrou, .Cantante.83, lcp918, lilianyas, Lori Duchess, lovedwardalways, LVQueen1, marilynnellsworth, mawiee-ketainee, maybus, mememee, MiDoRi-KoKoRo, Miricale1901,Mrs-Edward-Cullen123, MrsCullenOMG, MsMayfly, newmoon88, NordicVamp, nothyme, obsessioncrepuscule, ParamoreNoDoubt, PatchPalsey, PoxyxPoxy, reader99, rocki18, Rolzy., rxdiva, Sactowngirl93, SagaObsessed, sambois, Shuki1523, smlinatya, ten982, TillITryIllNeverKnow, Tinesha69, TM Twilight Girl, TraciSnow, trini36, Twi-girl09, twilightfan243, twiliculate, violet09, XzappX**

**I did not cut and paste, I typed each one. Please when you review, let me know if you'd like a reply, since I know I love them when I reply.**

**We all know as writers that we all like when our work is acknowledged , please let me know how I am doing…**

**Jennifer**

**Edward's POV**

When I stopped beside the window Bella planted her feet firmly on the floor and stared at me as if I had grown an extra appendage. "The Window?" She asked, her bright crimson eyes wide with question. I smiled at her surprise. She had spent so long with me visiting her room by her window, and yet somehow she hadn't ever thought of how suitable an exit it could also be. "It's the most convenient exit. If your frightened, I can carry you." I offered wanting to help ease her fear, but not being past an excuse to hold her close to my body. Bella's eyes crinkled as I watched and she opened her luscious lips to respond. "We have all eternity, and you're worried about the time it would take to walk to the back door?" She asked in confusion.

I wasn't worried about the time. I often used windows, but I had chosen this exit to get us on our way quickly, while still allowing her to avoid Renesmee, I didn't want to expose the two of them to one another until Bella had fed. I frowned as I thought of the best way to explain this to her withour causing her to feel uncomfortable about it. I thought over my words carefully then spoke.

"Renesmee and Jacob are downstairs…"I started, but my amazing perceptive Bella caught onto my reasoning right away."Oh." She said looking down at her feet. She shifted on her feet before asking softly, "Is Renesmee …okay…with Jacob there?" I could hear the worry for our daughter resounding in her voice, true to form Bella was more concerned with other's than herself." He doesn't like her much." Bella finished.

If only she knew just how much Jacob now liked our child it could ease her mind, or be the end of Jacob..I thought grimly. "Trust me," I said trying to keep my voice even, "She is perfectly safe. I know exactly what Jacob is thinking." I said as I watched Jacob's thoughts in my mind. He was currently watching Rosalie feed her, and he questioned every last thing he did, from the way she held her small form, to the way she rubbed her back to burp her. He was driving Rosalie mad, if it weren't for Renesmee she might have skinned his hide by now.

"Of Course." Bella murmured demurely looking at the floor once more. She seemed hesitant to leave, and I knew that she must have been feeling the urge to see our child, but this was far more important now, for both of them. "Stalling?" I questioned, knowing how her mind worked. If I called her out, she might push herself to do it faster than if I left her to dwell on her thoughts. "A little. I don't know how…" She finished haltingly.

Well showing her would be the easy part, but convincing her to do it with a crowd of observers would not be. "Watch me." I said knowing that I was about to surprise her. I stepped up to the oversized window and with Bella watching my every move, I stepped outside, dropping smoothly to the ground, and almost out of her line of sight. I knew that she would hear and see every detail with her newly expanded mind. She would see the angle of my body, the bend of my knees, and the way that I eased onto the soil hardly disturbing the grains of dirt around me.

I glanced up to See Bella's intent eyes watching, studying, memorizing each minute detail of what I had done. I watched as she determinedly set her jaw as she prepared herself to copy my actions. She stepped forward in one swift movement, her blue silk dress fluttering alluringly against her skin causing me to quickly inhale at the sight as she rushed towards me, landing by my side. The desire to wrap my arms around her magnificent body, and to pull her flush against me were nearly over whelming. I pushed back my rising need, berating myself for my selfish desires when she had much more important needs to take care of.

As she landed she flashed a brilliant smile at me. "Right. Easy." She said with a smile. I smiled back at her, trying to will my thoughts to obey my half-hearted attempts to subdue them. I grasped at something to say that would give away the urges pulsing inside me. "Bella?" I said my lips pulling into a half smile as I looked up the length of her sculpted body. "Yes?" She responded back turning to me, causing her hair to cascade over her shoulder, inviting me to run my fingers through the silky strands as they brushed against her skin.

I swallowed trying to control myself. "That was," what do I say …."Quite graceful—even for a vampire." I finished honestly, yet lamely. Her answering smile put the sun to shame, even on its most glorious day, never had there been such light shone on the world before. She was breathtaking, and I stood in awe of her for a moment, thoroughly dazzled. "Thank you," she said breathlessly, her words full of happimess. A sudden look of annoyance swept across her features, and before I could ask what the problem was, she slipped off the silver stilettos that Alice had slipped on her feet. She tossed them up through the window we had just come through. I smiled relishing in the fact that amidst everything, she was still so very Bella.

We both laughed as we heard Alice grumbled from inside the house. "Her fashion sense hasn't improved as much as her balance." As Bella's laughter tinkled through the air it drew me in, as the earth is drawn to the sun. She was everything I needed, the very force that gave me he will to exist. I slipped my hand into hers, feeling the cool silk of her skin against mine, and lured her into the edge of the woods with me.

She evenly kept my pace, causing her hair to stream out behind her, her slim limbs flying along giving her more grace than any creature. I slowed and stopped as we reached the river near the house. "Are we swimming?" Bella intoned innocently causing me to smile . "And ruin your pretty dress?" I questioned. The dress that clung to her skin as if it were a part of her, on no, not if I could help it. "No. We are jumping." I answered her.

Bella looked at the water and Pursed her lips, forming a succulent red flower with her lips that begged for me to steal a taste, but I resisted as IO watched her study the water. "You first." She said. IO knew that watching me would help her do the task and so I moved to do it. Before I moved away from her I reached over to graze my fingers along the edge of her cheek, then I took two paces backwards. From there I launched myself forward, running the same two steps I had taken before sending myself into the air. I flew over the water and deciding to impress her with my skills I turned a perfectly executed somersault before landing in the thick foliage on the other side.

"Show-off." I heard her mutter from the other side causing me to erupt in laughter. I glanced through the trees to watch her ready herself for her first horizontal jump. She seemed to be psyching herself up . She backed up a few paces further than I had, and started to move, suddenly the sound of rendered fabric ripped through the air, and as I watched the tight blue silk of her dress split up her thigh, revealing the milky white skin of her leg, causing me to harden instantly with longing. Bella stopped as I watched and studied the dress she was wearing before reaching down and ripping the other side of the dress to reveal the same creamy skin on her other thigh. I bit my lip to keep myself from jumping back over the river in order to show her what she did to my body with such an innocently alluring movement.

I could hear sounds from the house, but I tuned them out in order to watch Bella's every movement. She stopped moving , and I wondered if she was unsure of how to approach the river now that her attention had been diverted. "Bella?" I questioned from the woods. "Do you want to watch again?" She didn't respond, but my words must have spurred her to action as she moved to the water's edge in a single bound, then launched herself over the water, and flying much farther into the woods than where I was. I raced to get to her, and directed myself as I listened to her peals of laughter as the broke through the air.

When I reached her, I found her in a tree, her eyes were aglow with mischief. She dropped from branch to branch landing almost soundlessly on the balls of her feet beside me. "Was that good?" She asked, her chest rising and falling rapidly in her excitement, drawing my attention momentarily to her heaving bustline. "Very good. "I said in approval, both of her ability and of the way her gasps were causing the silk to tighten against her chest. "Can we do it again?" She asked, her voice revealing the exhilaration that she felt at her acheivment.

"Focus, Bella—we're on a hunting trip." I reminded for her sake, and mine. It was getting harder and harder to keep myself focused. She was the newborn here, not me. However I was the one who was having trouble keeping my attention on the task at hand. "Oh, right." She said nodding her head. "Hunting." I was glad that she had refocused as her being on task would make it easier for me to do the same. I gave myself a mental lashing as a reprimand. I smiled at her, as an idea struck me. "Follow me…if you can" I said bursting forward into a run. I ran at my top speed, and heard her race after me. If I could keep allowing her to see all the new skills her body had, and work at teaching her how to use them, than maybe…just maybe, I would be able to keep my mind from getting distracted as well. As I glanced over at her seeing her body darting through the trees, her limbs pumping, showing their power, while still looking so soft and feminine, I knew that It wouldn't work.

I would not be able to keep my body from wanting to claim hers, to make her mine, no matter what she did. She was so alluring, so sexy, and so damn captivating. It was hopeless. Bella my tempting love, she never even tried to draw attention to herself, it all came naturally, and I knew that no matter what she did I was undone. I would have to keep quiet though, and focus on her, and when she decided that I was what she needed, she wouldn't have to ask twice, for I would be hers.


	33. Chapter 35

**A/N**

**Wow!.........I am totally floored with how many of you took the time to review my last chapter. This chapter is especially for you. I know the last chapter was short, but this chapter is intense, there is a great deal going on, and I didn't want to ruin the flow of last chapter by mixing the two very different moments. I hope this chapter is enjoyed by everyone. Special thanks are going out to Cullenfest , my beta, and to HeartofDarkness. Please feel free to check out their stories as well as .Cantante83 and Twilightguru. Each story from these wonderful ladies is unique, and may appeal to diffent personalities, but they are all worth the read. Everyone made my day with the wonderful praise.**

**Jennifer**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of it's character's. It all belongs to Stephenie Meyer. (aint she great!)**

**Chapter 31**

I continued running, trying to force out my swelling lust with a flush of adrenaline. I tried not to glance back at Bella, but I couldn't keep my eyes from glancing back at her, from noticing the way the torn fabric of her dress fluttered in the wind, showing glimpses of the creamy fabric of her skin, and even the rounded curve of her breasts. I swallowed hard trying to force my eyes forward. If I kept glancing at her I would not be able to prevent myself from running into a tree, something Emmett would never let me live down.

I tried to focus on our direction, but was suddenly surprised as Bella burst past me, flying like the wind, her tresses flowing behind her like the glorious tail of a comet making me breathless with her beauty. I increased my pace, but found myself pushing to keep up with her. I heard Bella's tinkling laugh ring through the forest ahead of me as she pulled away. I could hear the light thud of her bare feet as they connected with the soft ground ahead. I started to worry that if she kept up this pace that she would get too far ahead.

"Bella." I called out slowly, hoping that she would hear my voice and slow her speed. I heard her sigh, and the sound and suddenly she twirled and came back to my side with a skip in her step. I had been worried for a moment that she wouldn't stop, and I smiled at her as I felt my chest swell knowing that she returned for me. Even amidst her newfound feelings and sensations, she still was drawn to me. I found her staring at me, her eyes glowing, with a hint of a smile playing on her lips, and I imagined kissing her fully, running my moist tongue along her luscious full lips, and pulling her body flush with mine.

I gritted my teeth, biting back the urge to move forward and to wrap my arms around her, to run my fingers up the curve of her hip. The thin fabric of her dress called to me, taunting me with the fact that it could freely rub itself over her body while I could not. Holding myself back was proving more and more difficult as the moments passed. The only thing that kept was providing me with any semblance of control was knowing that keeping her from hunting would only cause her copious amounts of pain. I would never willingly cause my love pain. By holding that thought in the forefront of my mind I was able to force back the animal that was fighting for dominance of my mind.

I swallowed as I regained control of my mental facilities, holding the predator that was my desire, at bay. I needed to do or say something, or she would notice my lack of reaction after having called her back to me. My mind grasped for some inconsequential thing to say to keep her from getting suspicious. "Did you want to say in the country?" I asked lamely. "Or were you planning to continue to Canada?" I said amused with my witty recovery. Bella looked at me steadily. "This is fine." She said slowly. Her eyes were shining as she stood there looking at me. "What are we hunting?" She asked suddenly.

I could have struck myself in the head from my own idiocy. Some teacher I was. She had never done this before and instead of guiding her, I was too busy staring at the way she moved, the way her lips puckered when she lost in thought. How thoughtless I was indeed. "Elk," I replied in a rush, eager to make up for my earlier failure in her first vampire excursion. "I thought something easy for your first time…" I said faltering when I saw her eyes narrow at me. Maybe easy was not most fitting word that I could have chosen for this conversation. I knew that Bella had never liked when she was under estimated, even as a human, so I should have realized that now would not be any different. I expected to see her first flare of anger, but was shocked to see her calm herself after a moment "Where?" she asked suddenly looking extremely uncomfortable. Her thirst must be getting worse.

I could see her starting to sink into the urgency that accompanied the need to feed, and I moved closer to her hoping to sooth her, while getting her to focus. I placed my hands gently on her shoulders, this time even my yearning for her could not prevail, she was hurting and nothing was more crucial then easing her pain. "Hold still for a moment," I said softly, feeling her body relax ever so slightly at my touch. I listened for a moment, my ears searching the nearby forest for what we required. I heard it not too far away, now I would help her hear it as well.

"Now close your eyes." I whispered in her ear. She did as I asked and let her eyes close, her lashes brushing against the shadows under her eyes, showing how pronounced her thirst was becoming. I lifted my hand to her face and gently stroked her cheekbones, hoping that she could find some solace in the tender gesture. Her breathing picked up slightly at my touch, and I felt her breath rush across my palms. That was better, now to help her focus on what she needed most. "Listen, "I instructed her. "What do you hear?"

I continued to hold her face in my hands and her breathing began to even out as she focused on the surrounding forest. I watched her and listened to, trying to take in all of the sounds that she must be hearing. I heard the chorus of birds echoing around the forest, and their thrumming heart beats that pounded as they flew from tree to tree. I could hear the wind coursing through the branches of the trees, and the branches as they struck against one another. I could hear the shifts of the currents as the moved over the ground, and the sound of the water from the river as it trickled along on its passage. I honed in on the sounds I wanted her to hear. The shuffling of hooves against packed earth. The lashing of tongues as they wrapped around the tall blades of grass. The heavy pulsing sounds of thick blood moving through enlarged veins as it made its way around the many large and overheated bodies of the nearby heard of herbivores.

Suddenly Bella seemed to freeze and she spoke softly, but fiercely. "By the creek, to the northeast?" She asked, her eyes still firmly shut. "Yes." I said impressed at how well she was narrowing down their location. "Now…wait for the breeze again and…what do you smell?" I asked trying to encourage her to let her instincts take over and guide her. I watched as she sifted through the smells surrounding us, the floral scent of the flowers, the earthy smell of the leaves and old growth of the forest that encircled us. The clear scent of flowing water, the smell of the heated bodies of the animals were currently tracking.

Suddenly Bella wrinkled her nose and her expression caused me to chuckle aloud. "I know—it takes some getting used to." I said sympathetically. "Three?" she guesses refusing to be deterred from her task. "Five," I corrected, "There are two more in the trees behind them." I said trying to help her pinpoint them in her mind. "What do I do now?" she asked, her tone unsure. I thought for a moment, not wanting her to feel like I was telling her what she should do, so instead I asked, "What do you feel like doing?"

Suddenly her eyes snapped open, her crimson irises looking even brighter as her pupil dilated slightly from the onslaught of light. I could see her mind working away behind those dazzling eyes and I prompted her, "don't think about it." As I eased my hands of her face, releasing her as I took a reluctant step back, but knowing that I had to give her space. Bella moved away from me, suddenly, following the scent as it wafted on the air. I followed slowly behind, giving her a wide berth as she stalked her prey, knowing how the monster in us could react to another near their intended prey.

I watched Bella slink along like a cat, her muscles coiling under her skin as she crouched when she neared the animals she was stalking. From her position I could see her aiming at the large male that the smaller females gathered around as they drank. Bella tensed herself, her body suddenly bursting into action like a whip that had been snapped. She launched herself through the air, looking as elegant as if she had suddenly risen into flight, her form illuminated by the grey skies.

Her body flew with accuracy, and as I watched her graceful and femininely alluring form as she propelled herself through the air, I couldn't help but think sigh in satisfaction. I was so proud of her, of how well she had taken to this new life. How…. Just as the thoughts entered my head they fled. As I had sighed, a scent had wafted across my senses, and just as it registered to me that it was the scent of human blood I saw Bella twist in mid air hurling herself in the direction of this new, far more tempting scent.

She raced away so fast that I had to push myself further than I ever had, cursing myself for not having been more careful to search the area in which we were hunting. I strained my muscles to the limit, racing after her, knowing that as a newborn that she could not be held accountable for her actions, and yet knowing that she would never forgive herself if she allowed herself to hurt a human. Suddenly I saw her slowing, and I heard the snarl that was building between her lips. I was following too close, but it didn't matter. I would not let her do this, I refused to let her be haunted by the same demons that lurked deep in my mind. She was too pure to ever suffer that kind of travesty.

She heard the roar that burst forth from her as she turned to face me in a defensive crouch, her face almost unrecognizable with the rage that had taken over her features.. Her features suddenly softened, as if she was unsure of her own actions, and I stopped hoping that this was my chance. I dared not push her too far, as It might only make things worse. Instead I raised my hands up to her offering myself, my embrace as a haven from what was happening. I offered an embrace, but was prepared to make a prison if need be, if only to save her from herself.

With a jerk she righted herself in an instant, her breathing ceased. I could see reason returning to her, and stepped closer lowering my arms slowing as not alarm her. I hadn't expected her to be faced with this challenge so soon in this life, and yet here she was, and I was unsure of what she was doing. She appeared to have stopped mid -hunting, and I had never seen such an extraordinary sight in all my years. She was unlike any vampire I had ever seen. I had seen Emmett destroy an entire home in his struggle to get close to a human to get its blood. Even Rosalie, who had never partaken of human blood had required three of us to hold her down when the scent of human blood had attracted her. It had become apparent that despite her control of her first day when she had killed her former fiancé and his foul friends who had raped her , and she had refused to let their blood touch her lips, or sully her body, that other human blood called her as strongly as the rest of our kind. Even poor gentle Esme had been subject to the overwhelming urges of a newborn vampire, taking a life with her overwhelming thirst combined with her newborn strength. Never had I ever heard of a newborn who was able to turn off their hunt before in had been completed.

"I have to get away from here." She suddenly forced out from between clenched teeth. I almost stumbled backwards at her words. "Can you leave?" I asked her unsure of what she was saying. In less time than it took a butterfly's wing to beat Bella had turned and ran into the woods. She ran in the complete opposite direction of the human she had been hunting only seconds beforehand. I followed her immediately, staying close now that I knew she was aware of my presence. She ran with purpose, directly away from the scent that had lured her, and she continued to run. I carefully scented the air around us as we ran, refusing to make the same mistake twice.

The distance from where we had been quickly grew and grew, and just as I was almost to her, Bella stopped short, causing me to run past her. I was surprised by her sudden stop and I turned around, quickly returning to her side. I placed my hands on her shoulders, not caring about how she might react. I had to ask. I stared deep into her troubled eyes and blurted out, "How did you do that?

"You let me beat you before, didn't you?" She suddenly demanded, ignoring my question. I shrugged off her question and shook my head in annoyance. I refused to be deterred from the question I had asked her. "Bella, how did you do it?" I repeated, wanting an answer. "Run away? I held my breath." She stated as if It was common sense. "But how did you stop hunting?" I asked more specifically. Her eyes became troubled, and she looked upset. "When you came up behind me.. I'm so sorry about that." She said in a rush of words.

"Why are you apologizing to me?" I wondered aloud, "I'm the one who was so horribly careless. I assumed no one would be so far from the trails, but I should have checked first. Such a stupid mistake! You have nothing to apologize for." I exclaimed, aggravated that she was standing here apologizing to me when I was to blame for what had just happened. She was always trying to let me off too easy.

"But I growled at you!" She wailed, her voice bordering on hysterics at what she had done. She was so precious, too precious for words. "Of course you did." I replied soothingly to her. "That's only natural. But I can't understand how you ran away." I said in a murmur. "What else could I do? "she said solemnly. "It might have been someone I know!" She blurted out. I couldn't hold back the laugh that burst forth from my lips, it swelled forth from my chest and escaped before I could stop it. Only my Bella would stop to protect someone else,. Only she could go against what history dictated to be fact, to create a whole new book, rewriting history as she went.

Her eyes suddenly narrowed at me, and she became defensive. "Why are you laughing at me?" She exclaimed in annoyance. I caught myself, stopping my laughter in an instant. Though she was incredibly in control, it wouldn't help to instigate her overwrought emotions. "I'm not laughing at you, Bella. I'm laughing because I am in shock. And I am in shock because I am completely amazed." I told her truthfully. She became momentarily confused. "Why?" She asked, her brow furrowed."

I took a deep breath. "You shouldn't be able to do any of this. You shouldn't be so…so rational. You shouldn't be able to stand here discussing this with me calmly and coolly. And, much more than any of that, you should not have been able to break off mid-hunt with the scent of human blood in the air. Even mature vampires have difficulty with that—we're always very careful of where we hunt so as not to put ourselves in the path of temptation. Bella, you're behaving like you decades rather than days old." I said, confounded by her actions.

"Oh." Bella said quietly, than lapsed into silence. I moved closer, placing my hands under her chin, cupping her face against my palms, searching her face for answers and musing aloud. "What wouldn't I give to be able to see into your mind for just this one moment." I was watching her face so intently that I almost didn't notice her hand moving up until she began moving her fingertips along the contours of my lips. I stopped my searching and allowed myself to enjoy the feeling of her skin against the sensitive skin of my lips.

"I thought I wouldn't feel this way for a long time?" Bella intoned softly, her voice intense with emotion. "But I still _**want**_you." She finished huskily. Her voice was like liquid pleasure, pouring over me, making my manhood surge with pleasure. She _**wanted **_me, wanted _**me. **_Those words kept repeating through my head, echoing around the endless caverns of my mind. I blinked as I tried to refocus, she was not helping me keep it together. "How can you even concentrate on that?" I asked wondrously. "Aren't you unbearably thirsty?"

She swallowed then, and sighed, and I knew that logic had won out once more, even if I had hoped that logic would wait. I watched her close her eyes, knowing that she was willing to try again. I let my hands fall away, this time letting my own senses reach far afield as I checked to be sure that there were no humans nearby this time. Her eyes darted open, and she ran. This time I kept further back as she tracked her prey. There was no human tang in the air, and so I followed her, letting her give in to her nature. She moved t higher ground, and I followed, pleased that we were moving even further from human habituated areas.

I heard the soft falls of large pads ahead of us, and I caught the pungent aroma of wild cat in the air, and I smiled to myself. I watched Bella track the large feline to a immense fir tree, and grinned as she unhesitatingly continued straight up the tree trunk. She was hunting the animal who was in turn hunting its own prey. I found this quite amusing, watching her move in on the unaware animal. Bella launched herself with a small leap. The cat sensed her attack just as she was about to hit it, and I watched as my Bella dispatched the animal after only a minimal struggle. I momentarily had to keep myself in check as I watched the animal swing its razor sharp claws at her. I had to remind myself that this Bella, my Bella, was no longer the delicate one she had been before.

The cat tried to fight, but it was useless. The only thing it did manage was to tear up Bella's already torn dress, revealing large sections of her pale ivory skin for me to enjoy. Bella righted herself, wiping a few trickles of blood that had escaped while she fed. The result was a very erotic picture indeed. Bella standing there with her sundered clothing, her hair wildly flying, with smears of blood that she was licking off with her soft crimson coated tongue. It sent shivers down my spine and in turn caused a throbbing in my pants so intense that it was almost painful in its intense pleasure.

I leaned back against the nearest tree and watched her. "Hmmm," she said as I continued my appraisal. "I guess I could have done that better." She said examining her dress. "You did perfectly fine." I said proudly. "It's just that… it was much more difficult for me to watch than it should have been." I said guiltily. Bella's eyebrows went up revealing her confusion. I explained, "It goes against the grain, letting you wrestle with lions. I was having an anxiety attack the whole time."

"Silly." Said Bella with a soft smile. "I know. Old habits die hard. I like the improvements to your dress, though." I said, trying to point out what else I had been having trouble with. The look that crossed Bella's face was unreadable, but it reminded me of the expression she used to have when her face would become flooded with a deep blush…That was one of the few things that I would miss. "Why am I still thirsty?" She interjected suddenly.

"Because you're young." I explained. Bella sighed then replied, "and I don't suppose there are any other mountain lions nearby?" Her lips formed a pout like that of a small child, making my lips twitch with the desire to grin. "Plenty of deer, though." I said. "They don't smell as good." Bella said sticking her tongue out and wrinkling her nose. "Herbivores." I explained. "The meat eaters smell more like humans." Bella response flew out before she could stop it. "Not that much like humans," she muttered.

I thought for a minute, unsure of what to say then I lightly went on. "We could go back." I said gently, then I smiled as I took in her appearance. "Whoever it was out there, if they were men, they probably wouldn't even mind death if you were the one delivering it." I couldn't help running my eyes over her exposed form, running them over every curve of her body. "In fact they would probably think they were already dead and gone to heaven the moment they saw you." I said licking my lips.

Bella snorted and rolled her eyes at me. "Let's go hunt some stinking herbivores.  
She said smiling. We found a large herd of mule deer and this time we both hunted. I spent more time watching her than hunting though. I noticed her watching me so I moved back into the hunt and dispatched another deer.

After I had finished, I noticed that she was still watching me. "No longer hungry?" I asked her. "You distracted me. Your much better at it than I am." She said accusingly, but with a smile playing on her lips. "Centuries of practice." I responded with a grin. "Just one." She said with a pout, making sure to correct my mistake. I laughed. "Are you done for today? Or do you want to continue?" I asked, unsure of what she was thinking.

Bella's face turned thoughtful for a moment before she responded. "Done, I think." She said seriously. "I want to see Renesmee." She blurted out. I held out my hand to her, to guide her home to our child, and she reached her hand out to take it. As soon as our skin connected, she reached out her hand to stroke the planes of my face. Her touch was like electricity, jarring me to my very core, but I refused to push her. She watched my face and then very slowly snaked her arms up over my collarbone and clasped them behind my neck.

That was all the invitation that I needed. I seized her waist in my hands and pulled her to me, holding her body firmly to my own,, trying to mesh our bodies together. She was so close that I couldn't hold back for even another moment. My face lowered to hers, and my lips acted on their own, seeking hers out and claiming them. Pushing my aching mouth against her swollen lips. It was as if my lips were fire, and hers the only balm that could possibly soothe them.

Her lips felt so different against mine as they fought for dominance. Her lips were probing, seeking, overwhelming my senses. Her touches grew more desperate, her touch forceful as she clung to me like a second skin, and I reacted in kind. I shifted her in front of me, pulling her up against me, allowing her to feel how she affected my body. She moaned into my mouth ,parting her slips and drowning me in a flood of her scent, and suddenly we were falling backwards.

"Oops," Said Bella, and I laughed, kissing her neck as she withdrew from me slightly in embarrassment. "I didn't mean to tackle you like that. Are you okay?" She asked worriedly, looking out at me from under long tendrils of hair that had fallen in her eyes. "Slightly more than okay." I said stroking her cheek softly, giving her time to regain her composure. I wanted to continue, but part of me knew that there was something we needed to do first, something that shouldn't wait.

"Renesmee?" I asked her softly. I did not want her to be torn, so I made it a question, allowing her to make the choice. Bella looked at me, her brow scrunched up as she thought. Her eyes flickered to my face as if she was searching for something, but the moment of confusion passed, and I felt her body relax as her resolve firmed in her mind. "Renesmee." She agreed, darting to her feet, pulling me after her, this time with her leading me home.

**A/N**

**Here is a treat for my faithful reviewers: A glimpse from an upcoming story.**

_I glanced across the room, noticing the night doctor had come into the ward. Unlike other doctors, he did not hesitate to sit with the other influenza patients as the other doctors did. He sat on their beds, conversing with them about life's frivolities, weather, and other things that would soon be of no consequence to any of us. We were all going to die here. Death favored none of the qualities that we endeavored for in life: Wealth, beauty, youth…love, it was all meaningless now. I watched the doctor moved gracefully from bedside to bedside, gently holding a hand in reassurance here, tucking in a blanket there. What was so different about this man that he felt comfortable around such overwhelming, flagrant sickness? He even chose not to don the white mask that the other doctors held tightly to their face as they sped through their rounds, why was that? _

AS I watched the blonde haired doctor make his way around the room, I studied him at leisure. From my place on my bed I could see the strength that he carried in his bearing, he was young, and yet his face spoke of wisdom and experience, of knowledge and understanding. I thought of my son Edward, on the very brink of manhood. A shining example of everything his father and I had tried to instill in him, integrity, honesty, politeness, kindness….. He now lay waiting for death to take him as it had taken my loving husband, as it was working its way through my body to take me, and it would surely claim him as well.

Why were we being forsaken? We had been loving, and generous to those less fortunate. Why did Edward deserve to have his life stolen from him before it had truly even begun? I felt tears begin to form in the corners of my eyes, and to seep from beneath my lashes. I tried to raise my hand to wipe them away, fighting helplessly against the useless weight that used to be a helpful limb. As I struggled to perform what once had been an everyday action that one could take for granted, I suddenly found myself staring up at an intense pair of golden eyes. The eyes swelled with sympathy, but I suddenly found myself wondering why they were sad. The intense gold color, flecked with deep amber specks, was so powerful that I had trouble focusing on anything else. It was only when I heard a rich, musical voice flow from his lips that my attention returned to my current dismal state, letting me refocus of the dank surrounding of the poorly lit influenza ward.

"Here, allow me to help you." The musical voice murmured as the young doctor raised a tissue to my face, wiping the wayward tears from my eyes. "Allow me to introduce myself, I am going to be your doctor tonight. My name is Carlisle Cullen."


	34. Chapter 36

**A/N**

**Hey everyone! I just wanted to say thank you to everyone for their reviews, and as thanks I am doing an extra chapter tonight for everyone. I want to recommend that everyone takes a look at HeartofDarkess she is doing some amazing work, especially her newest story. It is a continuation of Midnight Sun, and she started at the meadow scene. If she gets enough interest she might actually finish the book for us.(and it will be amazing I promise you. Please don't fail to tell her where you heard about her, and what you think of her work, she is amazing!**

**Special thanks as always to Cullenfest for being an amazing beta. And please don't hesitate to take a look at Roadrunnertwilightlover 's stories.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. It all belongs to Stephenie Meyer….I wonder if she would be willing to share? **

**Chapter 32**

Reminding Bella of her desire to see our daughter had quickly pulled her mind back on that task. I took her hand to guide her home putting my libido on the back burner for now. I couldn't wait for her to finally meet the precious little being that she had brought into our lives through her sheer tenacity. We set forth at a quick pace, both of us hastening to fulfill her burgeoning need to see our daughter. "Tell me about her." Bella urged me as we ran.

How do you describe a miracle? Words felt inadequate to explain the phenomenon that was our child. "She's like nothing else in this world." I finally managed, my explanation lacking the ability to describe the soft silk that was the rosy cheek of our daughter, the gentle love that shone from her eyes, the utter purity of her each and every thought.

I glanced at Bella and saw that her brow had furrowed, and wondered if she felt my explanation as deficient as I had. Her lips pouted ever so subtly then she asked, "How much is she like you? How much like me? Or like I was, anyway." She finished lamely.

As far as I was concerned, every part of her was Bella, she was full of light, love and purity, and I was none of those things. The only thing I saw of myself in my daughter was her hair and the fact that her skin was more vampire like then human, and that was more than enough as far as I was concerned. She had Bella's expressive brown eyes, and her heart shaped face. "It seems a fairly even divide." I said knowing Bella would not agree with me assessment of our child's genetics.

"She was warm-blooded." Bella said, her words unsure as if she questioned the legitimacy of her memories. "Yes," I assured her quickly, "She has a heartbeat, though it runs a little fast than a human's. Her temperature is a little bit hotter than usual, too. She sleeps." I added wondering if she recalled how much I had enjoyed watching her sleep when she was still human.

"Really?" Bella inquired wondrously. "I nodded as I answered her. "Quite well for a newborn. The only parents in the world who don't need sleep, and our child already sleeps through the night." I said with a laugh as I watched her expression as she absorbed every bit of information I gave her about our daughter. I tried to offer her more details so she might be able to picture Renesmee for herself.

"She has exactly your color eyes--so that didn't get lost, after all." I said smiling at her adoringly. I had always loved the deep expressive chocolate color of her eyes. "They're so beautiful." I told her partly to let her know about our child, but partly to remind her of one of the things about her that I had always found so appealing. "And the vampire parts?" she asked as if prompting me to stop pointing out the features of our child that looked like her human self. I was slightly annoyed as I knew that Bella was trying to move the focus off of her once more. She had never thought of herself as the divine beauty she actually was, and yet she thought I was a vision of masculinity comparable to a god, how funny it was that she saw us in such a skewed fashion.

I chose to ignore her rush to compare our child to me, instead of herself, and answered her instead. "Her skin seems about as impenetrable as ours. Not that anyone would dream of testing that." Bella's eyes flashed to my face, her distress visible as she sought out my eyes. "Of course no one would," I assured her, watching her eyes calm somewhat. "Her diet…well, she prefers to drink blood. Carlisle continues to try to persuade her to drink some baby formula, too, but she doesn't have much patience with it. Can't say that I blame her—nasty smelling stuff, even for human food."

I smiled as I recalled watching Carlisle attempt to convince Renesmee to try the bottle of infant formula. I had been upstairs but had observed it through the minds of everyone in the room. Rosalie had been holding Renessme, with Jacob hovering nearby. She had finally grown so annoyed with Jacob's constant questioning of her abilities to care for her niece that she had relinquished Renesmee to Esme before huffing from the room. Jacob didn't even bother shooting any blonde cracks at her as her watched Esme to make sure that she was being careful.

Carlisle had emerged carrying a bottle similar to the one that Rosalie and Jacob used and when he sat beside Renesmee and held out the bottle to her. She had been hungry and had grasped it, suckling it only for a moment before dropping it and glaring at Carlisle in disgust. The whole house had cracked up, and Carlisle had not been able to get her to taste it again, even mixed with blood. She would sniff the bottles before drinking now.

Bella's mouth fell open at my words. "persuade her?" She questioned. I was suddenly reminded of how little Bella knew about our precious little one. "She's intelligent, shockingly so, and progressing at an immense pace. Though she doesn't speak-yet-she communicates quite effectively." I told her recalling how shocked I had been the first time Renesmee had touched my face and shown me what she was thinking. The way she inherently knew how to make herself understood was amazing in of itself. Bella would be in for such a shock when she first experienced it. Though knowing Bella she might be less surprised than I was, she never ceased to amaze me with her ability to accept the unbelievable. I was the perfect example.

"Doesn't. Speak. Yet." Bella said, enunciating each word. I slowed down a fraction, wanting to give her time to take in all of the information I was giving to her. "What do you mean, she communicates effectively?" Bella demanded slowing our pace even further. How do I explain it to her? There is no proper way to explain it to her, the best way was to show her. "I think it will be easier for you to…see for yourself. It's rather difficult to describe."

Bella seemed to think about that for a moment, then she surprised me by changing topics. "Why is Jacob still here?" She asked I knew that amidst everything she would worry about that mutt. "How can he stand it?" Why should he? "why should he have to suffer more?" She asked me, her marvelous voice ringing out over the air as she voiced her concerns for Jacob. I wondered how she would react when she found out why Jacob was perfectly content to linger around the house now, even though she was the very thing he had always dreaded that she would become.

"Jacob isn't suffering." I said being sure to carefully select my words so Bella wouldn't catch my hesitancy to answer her questions. Maybe she would simply think that it was my dislike of Jacob that kept me from wanting to talk about him. "Though I might be willing to change his condition." I said thinking about what I would like to do to him should the opportunity arise. I gritted my teeth thinking about him suffering at my hands. "Edward!" Bella admonished me with a hiss as she pulled me to a full stop. Hmm, this new strength was also going to take getting used to, I suddenly realized.

She was very angry, her emotions radiated off her skin, and her eyes blazed with emotion. "How can you say that? Jacob has given up everything to protect us! What I've put him through--!" Bella's face turned into a tortured grimace as she recounted the things Jacob had done for us. I knew what Jacob had done, but he tended to cause as much trouble as he solved, and the latest in his list of irritants was not going to go over well, no matter how much Bella cared for him.

"You'll see exactly how I can say that." I mumbled vehemently. Bella looked at me, and I remembered to late that Bella could now hear when I spoke at that level. Her eyes narrowed dangerously. I held up my hands in defense. "I promised him that I would let him explain, but I doubt you'll see it much differently than I do. Of course I'm often wrong about your thoughts, aren't I?" I said watching her carefully as I pressed my lips together to keep myself from speaking my thoughts aloud again.

"Explain What?" Bella pressed. I shook my head. Oh no I wasn't going to be the one to tell her this news, let Jacob be the one to have that honor. "I promised. Though I don't know if I really owe him anything at all anymore…" I said letting my words trail off into silence. I could see the annoyance building up as she bit her lower lip. It was hard for me to stay angry at Jacob when she stood there looking so alluring. "Edward, I don't understand." She growled with exasperation.

I reached over and stroked her cheek, hoping that my touch would help ease her infuriation. The furrowed lines of her brow instantly smoothed away as her face became peaceful. I wish I knew how she was able to calm herself so easily. "It's harder than you make it look, I know. I remember." I mused softly. "I don't like feeling confused." She blurted out suddenly. I understood that feeling to, recalling with vivid clarity how swiftly thoughts and emotions flew through my newborn mind, everything was done on impulse, yet somehow Bella seemed able to handle the impulse part, which was the most difficult.

"I know." I said. "And so let's get you home, so that you can see it all for yourself." I said gently trying to reassure her. I ran my eyes over her face trying to see if she was less upset, and seeing that she was indeed calmer, I let my eyes rove over her body. Up close it was impossible not to allow my eyes to linger or the torn fabric that allowed me to see so much more of her magnificently feminine body. I frowned for a moment. "Hmmm." This wouldn't do, her curves called to me, begging me to run my finger over their soft slopes and valley's of her flesh. I had to get her back, But I was not about to let any other male from our house see her like this. She was mine.

After a split second I had an idea. I quickly undid the buttons of my shirt and held it out to her. "That bad?" she said, her face forming a small pout, making it even harder to keep my distance. I said nothing, but a grin stole across my face as I thought of how quickly I would be able to remove the last few scrapes of fabric from her lithe form.

I quickly got myself in line as she slipped her arms into the overly long sleeves and buttoned up the shirt. I was happy to have temptation slightly removed, though I had to admit she even made the plain fabric of my shirt look good.

Bella didn't move for a moment, than she suddenly said, "I'll race you!" Then she narrowed her eyes and said" No throwing the game this time." Which nearly caused me to bend over in laughter. Instead I released her hand and grinned at her. I waggled my eyebrows mischievously at her before speaking up. "On your mark……" Bella turned and ran with an amazing amount of speed, but she was no match for me and I quickly outpaced her. There would be no accusation of my holding back on her this time. As we neared the river she launched herself off the ground, her extra strength propelled her past me and over the water where she landed in the soft grass.

She turned back towards me laughing, 'Ha!" She exclaimed, prepared to boast. I was just launching myself when I saw her turn suddenly back towards the house, her head tilted in a manner that leant me to know that she was intently listening to something. I heard it right away, the thick pulsing beat, thrumming with life and energy. I landed unnoticed beside her as she focused on the sound, moving quickly to place my hands on her upper arms, to help her stay in control. I squeezed her to let her know that I was there, and to help keep command of her senses.

"Don't breathe." I whispered urgently behind her, knowing that it would help. I was not sure how this would go, would she find his blood as unappealing as the rest of us did. I felt Bella's breathing stop instantly, and I could feel how rigid she was in my arms. All I could do was watch while she searched for the source of the sound. I reached for his thoughts just as she saw him standing there on the edge of the forest that surrounded our house. He was waiting for our return, his thoughts worried, protective, and as far as I was concerned, completely unwarranted. This was not my place to say what I thought, but to support her s she faced Jacob for the first time as her new self. This ought to be interesting.


	35. Chapter 37

**A/N **

**Hello everyone. I am updating this story as a thank you to all of those who took the time to review, or to message me regarding the last chapter. **

**For those of you who have been dying to read the rest of Midnight Sun, I recommend the story Meadow of the Midnight Sun, By HeartOfDarkess, she is an amazing writer, and she really lets you see how Edward thinks and feels when he is with Bella////wow!**

**Thanks go out to my beta Cullenfest, she is amazing, and deserves the recognition.**

Chapter 33

**I do not own Twilight, or any of its fabulous characters. They are all from the intriguing mind of Stephenie Meyer.**

As Bella stood there facing Jacob, I experienced a brief worry that this was not the best way for Bella to meet Jacob. Bella had never taken well to being challenged and even though I was aware that Jacob was just looking out for my daughter's safety, I had no doubt that Bella would not see it the same way, especially if she were aware of his newfound affection for our child. I could hear the thoughts of Leah and Seth in the woods nearby, they too were concerned, and Jacob's forcefulness was bothering me deeply. Bella stood watching him from where we stood.

"Carefully, Jacob," I said, my voice worried because I didn't think he realized how dangerous a position he was putting himself in. Leah growled her agreement to my words. "Maybe this isn't the best way –" I started to say when Jacob interrupted me. "You think it would be better to let her near the baby first?" He said harshly. Any concern I had been feeling towards him was quickly slipping away under a flood of annoyance. Jacob continued, "It's safer to see how Bella does with me. I heal fast."

I listened to Jacob's thoughts for a moment

_I'm not moving until I see what she does when she is close to a beating heart Edward_

Bella's face seemed to fall as he spoke, and I thought about it for a moment. Jacob was worried that Bella might be drawn to him, but I was sure that she would find his damp canine smell as repulsive as the rest of us. If I let this pass, then surely we would get to our child sooner than if I tried to reason with him. Jacob seemed to think that he was providing a fair test, but I assumed he had forgotten how his kind smells to our keen senses. I looked at Bella's distraught face, and thought about how she had turned from fresh human blood. This was sure to be extremely easy for her.

My worry vanished, and I kept myself from breaking into a grin at my own thoughts. I shrugged my shoulder's in response, and responded, "It's your neck, I guess." Leah growled more deeply at my words this time, not liking my referral to the possibility of a vampire biting Jacob's neck. My patience with them was wearing thin, and if they pushed me too far they would have harsh consequences to deal with. I saw Bella glance my way, her eyes belying confusion at my interactions with her friend, but I pretended not to notice.

Bella glanced back at Jacob, her eyes searching his features for something, some hint of what he was thinking. He smiled at her, noting her lack of movement in his direction. He was pleased that she hadn't stopped to focus on him, or his blood, and he felt it boded well for Renesmee, and for the hope that she might be able to be near our child. For a moment fury rose up in my chest as I listened to his possessive thoughts. He seemed to feel that he had the role of keeping my daughter safe from my wife. He had no idea what she was capable of, that damned mutt, and if he honestly thought that she might hurt our child, the fool knew nothing.

Bella didn't notice my anger, so instead I focused on her and on remaining calm for her sake. I waited, watching for her to show the pup what she was able to do. Jacob's smile widened as he looked at her, and his thoughts showed that he was comparing this Bella to the Bella he had loved as a human. He could see the similarities in her features, the shape of her bone structure, and her facial expressions, but he was also extremely aware of the differences in her. Her eyes disturbed him. Even with him knowing that her eyes would be red, he had trouble seeing the bold crimson eyes on the face he knew and cared for. His mind connected those eyes with human feeders, and even knowing that that was not the reason for the color in her eyes, it made him uncomfortable.

"I gotta say it, Bells. You're a freak show." He said with a slight shudder. She grinned back at him, and old jealousy welled up within me that he was on the receiving end of her glorious smile, when he didn't deserve it. "Watch yourself, mongrel." I hissed at him in annoyance. Bella took a breath as a breeze passed by us, and she spoke, "No, he's right. The eyes really are something, aren't they." She said apologetically. Even now, amidst all of the newness of her situation, she was trying to make him feel at ease.

"Super-creepy. But it's not as bad as I thought it would be." Jacob admitted to her with a sheepish look on his face- a look I wanted to wipe off for him. "Gee- thanks for the amazing compliment!" Bella cracked at him, and he rolled his eyes in response. "You know what I mean. You still look like you--sort of. Maybe it's not the look so much as…you are Bella. I didn't think it would feel like you were still here." He said, this time his smile was one of honesty and happiness, and even I could not hold his delight against him. He laughed and continued, "Anyway, I guess I will get used to the eyes soon enough."

Jacob's thoughts were thinking of how much time he would be spending around us as he watched over our baby, and I could see the sudden look of confusion that broke out over Bella's delicate features. "You will?" she asked him questioningly. Suddenly Jacob's smile faltered, and his eyes shifted nervously to me as he realized that she had no idea what he was talking about. His eyes focused to me, and it was impossible for me to keep a smirk from creeping onto my lips.

He was speechless for a moment before he spoke again. "Thanks, "he said, "I didn't think you would be able to keep it from her, promise or not. Usually you just give her everything she wants." His thoughts now wished that I had been the one to break the news to her after all. "Maybe I'm hoping she'll get irritated and rip your head off. "I said offhandedly, hoping that it might in fact come true. Jacob snorted at my words, but he noticed that Bella had fallen silent and he stopped still in his place.

"What's going on?" Bella demanded suddenly. It was clear that she was annoyed and upset. "Are you two keeping secrets from me?" She said. Her voice rising with her emotions. I was not about to respond to her accusation, for I planned to let Jacob have every bit of the retribution she would dish out when she found out what had happened. "I'll explain later, " Jacob said quickly trying to change the topic. "First let's get this show on the road. "He said, grinning as he started to move forward in our direction.

I heard the whimper from the bushes and the other two wolves emerged from the wolves, intent on keeping him safe. "Cool it guys, "Jacob said. "Stay out of this." He didn't want them to interfere, and I saw Bella glance at them apprehensively. He moved closer, "C'mon, Bells. Do your worst." He challenged, drawing a hiss from Leah behind him. Bella didn't move an inch, her eyes still on his form, and as always her thoughts closed to me. What was she thinking?

My hands still lingered on her arms, and I felt no hint of her that spoke of any intention to move forward. "I'm getting older here, Bella." Jacob teased. "Okay. Not technically, but you get the idea. Go on, take a whiff." He prompted her. "Hold on to me," Bella said in a small voice as she leaned back against my chest. I tightened my hold, and inwardly growled my annoyance at the mutt for making her doubt herself again,

I felt Bella stiffen in my arms and then she tentatively took a tiny breath through her nose. I watched her as she interpreted the scents that that small breath had given her, and her rigidness eased somewhat in my arms. She took another breath, this time deeper, and more regular, and much to my delight her nose wrinkled up in distaste, and her body fully relaxed against me. "Huh. I can see what everyone's been going on about. You stink, Jacob." She said making the most adorable face as she tried to clear his scent from her nose. I chuckled at the sight, knowing that I had expected as much.

A burst of laughter escaped my lips at her admittance of his unpleasant odor and I let my hands slip from her arms to circle her waist, drawing her frame against mine so I could inhale her delicious aroma to drown out the unpleasantness of his. The other wolves visibly relaxed, Seth laughing at Bella's response as hard as I had, but Leah just happy that all heck hadn't broken loose. I could even hear more distant laughter from my family in the house nearby..

"Look who's talking," Jacob said plugging his nose. His words belayed a joke, but his thoughts echoed the truth behind what he said. He thought we all smelled equally awful. Bella watched Jacob's theatrics and I just couldn't resist pulling her closer, wrapping my arms fully around her and inhaling her heavenly aroma deeply, laughing that Jacob would never got to enjoy her scent as I did, the explosion of strawberries, freesia, and muted tones of vanilla. "I love you," I whispered in her ear happy that she , and her luscious scent, were now all mine.

"Okay, so I passed right?" Bella said. "Now are you going to tell me what the big secret is?" She asked with her eyebrows raised. Never had I been so glad to be where I could not read Bella's facial expressions. I watched as Jacob's face developed a nervous look that let me know he was at the receiving end of her intense stare. "It's nothing you need to worry about this second…" Jacob replied nervously. I heard Emmett's hearty chuckle resound from the house.

Suddenly Bella's attention changed. She turned towards the house and I realized that she must hear the frantic beats of our daughter's heart. Bella's face softened with wonder at the very sound. "Renesmee," she whispered. Her voice held such reverence, such adoration for the small being we had created, and I felt the longing she must be feeling from having missed so much time with her. "Come and see, "I softly murmured in her ear, "I know you can handle this." I told her confidentially. She was amazing, and I knew she could handle anything.

"You'll help me?" She whispered through almost frozen lips, even with her desperation to see our daughter, she refused to put her at risk, andI was in awe of this amazing woman. "Of course I will." I replied encouraging her. She still didn't budge. "And Emmett and Jasper—just in case?" She questioned, her voice tinged with a hint of panic.

I ran my hand over her hair soothingly before responding. "We'll take care of you Bella. Don't worry, we'll be ready. None of us would risk Renesmee. I think you'll be surprised at how entirely she's already wrapped us all around her little fingers. She'll be perfectly safe, no matter what." It seemed that my words had done what I had hoped as Bella finally took a step in the direction of the house, but Jacob jumped in her way screaming at me.

"Are you sure, bloodsucker?" He asked, his voice beseeching. "I don't like this. Maybe we should wait—." He said his voice becoming louder, more insistent as we tried to move forward. Bella glanced at us again, puzzlement written once more over her features. He was wearing my patience thin. , I had done everything he asked, and as far as I was concerned, it was much more than he deserved at this time. "You had your test, Jacob." I growled. "But.." He began once more. "But nothing." I snapped at him. "Bella needs to see our daughter. Get out of her way." I made sure to heavily emphasize the fact that it was our child, daring him to question me again. Jacob looked at Bella, his face barley hiding his concern and panic and then he bolted for the house at top speed.

I growled at him as he departed, unable to maintain a level of calmness at his lapse in judgment. I took a breath and calmed myself, reminding myself that this moment was about Bella, and not about anyone else. "Shall we?" I asked her softly. I watched as she nodded her response, and I took her hand in mine, leading the way to the house.

When we arrived at the house our family was waiting for us in a line. This was meant as a form of protection for Renesmee, but also to let Bella see that they were all here to help her through if she needed them. I could see Bella immediately focus on Rosalie, who was behind the line. Bella watched as Jacob moved over near Rose, his stance protective, and uncomfortable. But it was the small figure in Rose's arms that drew her attention more than anything else in the room.

Bella gasped in surprise as she took in the small form of our daughter in Rosalie's arms. "I was out just two days?" She said, her voice barely a whisper. I nodded, but Bella didn't seem to notice. She watched the child intently, scrutinizing her. Renesmee reached up to Rose's throat and touched her. "She was asking Rosalie if that was her mother. " My daughter's mental voice curled possessively around the word "mother". Her thoughts full of question, and want.

Rosalie patted her hand soothingly, her movements gentle and reassuring. "Yes, that's her." Our child was watching Bella without wavering, and suddenly she smiled at her. Bella instinctively took a step towards our daughter, and everyone responded by moving to protect her. Emmett and Jasper formed a wall in front of Bella, barring her way, with Carlisle and Esme backing them up. I instinctively grasped Bella's arms to keep her from reacting to their movements. I knew she could do this, but I didn't want them to make her unsure of herself, Jacob had already done that once.

I could read everyone's protective thoughts, and knew they only meant to help, but they were actually making the situation more tenuous than it needed to be. Only small Alice held her place. "Oh give her some credit," She admonished them all for their actions. "She wasn't going to do anything. You'd want a closer look, too." She chastised them with a frown.

Bella looked at the faces around her, and as she did she seemed to be taking in the sight, smells and sounds. Her face seemed inquisitive as she processed the information around her. "I'm okay," she told me patting my hand on her arm as if to assure me that she spoke the truth. Then she stopped and added, "Keep close, though, just in case." She said, more as a question than as a comment.

I could feel Jasper's uneasiness at her actions. Reading her through him was interesting, I could sense her want, and her worry. He was going crazy with how closely he was monitoring her, waiting for an explosion of uncontrollable emotion. I freed her arms, refusing to be the one who kept her from our child any longer. Renesmee started to move in Rose's arms, and her thoughts reached me, she wanted Bella, and she wanted her now, she was impatient to finally be allowed to see her mother.

"Jazz, Em, let us through. Bella's got his." I said firmly. "Edward, the risk--" Jasper hissed at me, he was trying to remind me of how unpredictable newborns were, but I knew that Bella was not like every other newborn any of us had ever seen, and it was time for him to hear how amazingly different she was. "Minimal. Listen Jasper—on the hunt she caught the scent of some hikers who were in the wrong place at the wrong time…" I started to say

Everyone collectively reacted, holding their breath, or moving a step. "Edward!" Carlisle Scolded. "How could you be so irresponsible?" I was not about to explain that I had been driven to distraction by my amazingly stunning wife, and that I had been too busy watching how her body moved to pay attention to our surroundings. Instead I focused on what he needed to know. "I know, Carlisle. I know. I was just plain stupid. I should have taken the time to make sure we were in a safe zone before I set her loose." I said admonishing myself for everyone to see, but that was not what was important here - what Bella had done, or not done, was what mattered.

"Edward." Bella said, her eyes downcast in shame as she listened to those around her. "I interrupted her before she could finish speaking. "He's absolutely right to rebuke me, Bella." I said smiling suddenly at everyone. "I made a huge mistake. The fact that you are stronger than anyone I've ever known doesn't change that." I said with a smirk on my face.

Alice responded both in words and thoughts, "Tasteful joke, Edward." _What exactly are you getting at favorite brother of mine….If you don't tell them I will…_

I glanced at Alice shaking my head subtly. "I wasn't making a joke, I was explaining to Jasper why I know Bella can handle this. It's not my fault everyone jumped to conclusions." I had known they would, that was part of what made this so funny. No one would have been able to imagine a newborn like Bella, they all were recalling their own turbulent newborn days, and from those memories they had drawn their own assumptions.

"Wait, "Jasper gasped. "She didn't hunt the humans?" His mind reeled with the shock of such a concept. "She started to, " I said with a smile. I was thoroughly enjoying the fact that my wife had stumped them all, as she had often done with me. "She was entirely focused on the hunt." I continued. "What happened?" Carlisle questioned intently."She heard me behind her and reacted defensively. As soon as my pursuit broke into her concentration, she snapped out of it. I've never seen anything to equal her. She realized at once what was happening, and then……." I said drawing out the tale, "she held her breath and ran away." I continued nonchalantly while my family reeled with the shock from what they had just heard.

They had heard tales of newborns killing entire villages, taking down fleets of sailors, newborns unable to control their powers, and some who could not stop themselves from killing any living thing around them, no matter what the species, but never a newborn who refused to harm something because it might be someone she knew.

"Whoa," Emmett said with awe, "Seriously?" I was just about to nod when Bella spoke up. "He's not telling it right."She muttered, ducking her head even lower now that the family was focusing on her so intently. "He left out the part where I growled at him." She said softly. "Did you get in a couple of good swipes?" Emmett asked, always eager to hear of a fight. "No! Of course not." Bella exclaimed. "No, not really, you really didn't attack him?" Emmett asked in confusion to clarify. "Emmett!" Bella complained.

"Aw, what a waste." Emmet groaned. In his head he was picturing Bella throwing me around the woods . "And here you're probably the one person who could take him—since he can't get into your head to cheat—and you had a perfect excuse, too." He grumbled pouting at her. "I've been dying to see how he'd do without that advantage." He sulked

Bella glared at him indignantly. "I would never." She protested at the very idea. I noticed that Jasper was frowning as he watched the interaction between Bella and Emmett. I gave him a human light punch on the arm to get his attention. "You see what I mean?" I prodded. "It's not natural." He argued as once again he tried to understand the conundrum that was my Bella.

"She could have turned on you-she's only hours old!" Esme exclaimed partly from frustration, and part from confusion, "We should have gone with you." I tuned out everyone else as I felt Renesmee's thoughts. She was reaching for Bella, they both wanted this but neither were getting what they desired. Why was everyone making this so hard? Bella was leaning forward, peeking over Jasper's shoulder."Edward," she murmured, "Please?" My dead heart tore for her, for her need.

I glanced at Jasper, but he didn't budge. I was just about to lose my temper when Alice spoke up. "Jazz, this isn't anything that you've seen before. Trust me." She said softly to him. Jasper's eyes sought out his wife, and I turned my thoughts away from the gaze they shared, granting them their moment. Then Jasper nodded. He stepped back, and placed a hand on Bella's shoulder, than he followed her towards our daughter.

Bella's steps were slow and deliberate as she moved forward bit by precious bit. Closer and closer to our miracle child. I followed directly behind them, not wanting to miss a moment of this meeting.. Renesmee watched Bella's progress and struggled in Rosalie's arms. Suddenly, for the first time ever our daughter let out a piercing wail that ripped through the air. We all moved forward wondering what was wrong. Reaching out to touch, stroke and sooth her. She had never made a single sound of distress, and only I was aware of the cause.

My little girl was mad, she wanted her mother, and no one was letting her have what she wanted. In her short life everyone had given her everything, but this was the first time that she felt such heart felt desire for something. This was her mother, the one whose voice had lulled her, the one who had rocked her to sleep in her womb as she grew, the one who she had wanted from the beginning, but who everyone kept telling her that she would meet soon. Well now she was here, and she wanted her, and she wanted her now.

"What's the matter? Is she hurt? What happened?" Jacob's voice rang sharp and loud over the soothing murmurs around the room. He pushed his way forward, and Rosalie said,"No, she's fine." Then she handed the baby to him without hesitation. I saw the look on Bella's face as our child was given to another set of arms that didn't belong to her. Renesmee turned in Jacob's arms, twisting to see Bella. Was everyone in this room blind to what they both wanted, what they both needed?

"See?" Rosalie told Jacob. "she just wants Bella" Rosalie said with matter-of–fact knowledge, making me want to hug her for stating what I felt was so obvious. Bella's eyes widened with surprise. "She wants me?" she whispered fiercely, her voice possessive. Renesmee stared at Bella, and since she still didn't move, I put my hands on her arms gently . and guided her forward to our daughter.

"She has been waiting for you for almost three days, I reminded her. I noticed Bella watching Jacob as we got closer. "Jake-I'm fine." She told him. He was shaking, and I knew that Bella could see it too. Jacob frowned at Bella, his thoughts clearly stating that he did not wish to hand over our child, just in case we were all wrong about her so called amazing control. Renesmee leaned towards Bella, she clenched her tiny fists and reached out with grasping hands towards her mother.

Suddenly Bella moved, she stepped forward, allowing Renesmee's hands to connect with her body, she wrapped her arms around our daughter, holding her close. Renesmee snuggled into her chest with her head snuggled into the crook of Bella's neck, as if she had never been anywhere else. The sight was awe inspiring, mother and child reunited finally. Two souls that had fought for one another, now existing in harmony.

Jacob hadn't relinquished his hold on Renesmee, and had been pulled towards Bella as she embraced our daughter. I watched as they snuggled, and as Renesmee, desperate to communicate with her mother, touched Bella and showed her everything that she had missed. Bella had stiffened as she watched the visions the Renesmee shared with her, and the whole room fell silent as the two shared this special moment.

"What..was…that?" Bella spluttered once it had ended. "What did you see?" Rosalie asked, wondering what her niece had shown her mother. "She showed me that?" Bella whispered in an awestruck voice. "I told you it was hard to explain, " I reminded her of our earlier conversation, "But effective as means of communications go." I said, smiling at the amazed look on her face.

"What was it?" Jacob asked curiously, he recalled how surprised he has been when Renesmee had done the same thing to him. "Um. Me. I think. But I looked terrible." Bella said. "It was the only memory she had of you," I explained gently knowing that she had shown Bella the images she had of her from her birth. I cringed seeing the images afresh from Renesmee's mind, but I continued letting Bella understand why I thought our child had shown her those images. "She's letting you know that she's made the connection, that she knows who you are." I finished.

"But how did she do that?" Bella pressed me further, trying to understand. I had to smile, for there was no direct answer. "How do I hear thoughts? How does Alice see the future?" I asked her rhetorically. There was no proper answer, so I shrugged my shoulders. "She's gifted." Carlisle interrupted. He had been running theories about her gift in his mind and he felt that he had arrived at a plausible one. "It's an interesting twist," He said to me as Bella looked on. "Like she is doing the exact opposite of what you can." I hadn't thought of it like that. "Interesting." I agreed. "I wonder if she carries any of Bella's talent as well, or perhaps a revised version of her abilities?" I said to Carlisle.

I listened to his response, but didn't fully pay attention as Bella interacted with our child. I watched as she spoke with her, and exchanged a tender kiss. She nuzzled her, smelled her, and simply enjoyed her. The picture of her holding our daughter for the first time, her lips delicately pressed against her small forehead, would forever be burned into my memory.

"She's fine." I heard Alice tell Jasper, but I tuned them out since I already knew she would be fine. Everyone was talking and starting to move about when suddenly a deep voice rose up above the din of the room. "Haven't we experimented enough for one day?" Jacob said in a wavering voice. "Okay, Bella's doing great, but let's not push it." He said in a halting voice. Jacob still had not released his hold on Renesmee, and he seemed to be incredibly uncomfortable in his current position, not that I cared. Jasper sensed Bella's irritation with Jacob rising, and he moved closer to them. Suddenly Bella's patience snapped.

"What is your problem , Jacob?" She demanded trying to distance herself , and our daughter from his grasp, but he held on and moved closer, refusing to let go. He moved so close that Renesmee was pressed between them both. I hissed at him angrily, clenching my hands in anger. "Just because I understand, it doesn't mean I won't throw you out, Jacob. Bella's doing extraordinarily well. Don't ruin the moment for her." I growled seething in anger. "I'll help him toss you, dog." Rosalie promised all too gleefully. Her thoughts flashing back to when he had thrown her out of the room as Renesmee was being born. She owed him, and she would get her payback, even if he had been right to do what he did at the time. "I owe you a good kick in the gut." She reminded him.

Jacob was frozen, his eyes on Renesmee's small form. I could read from his thoughts how uncomfortable he was. He could feel the bodies of all of the vampires in the room pressing in on him, and their touch repelled him. Bella seemed angry and confused as she watched him, how he stayed so close to our child, how he gazed at her…and suddenly a small sound pierced the air.

"No!" Bella gasped. Everything seemed to h happen at once Japer felt something in Bella as it snapped. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her backwards as Jacob grabbed Renesmee and held her protectively. "Rose!" Bella hissed as her chest heaved in and out against my arms. "Take Renesmee." She snapped. Rosalie held her hands out, and Jacob handed over the baby instantly.

I had never seen Bella like this. Through Jasper I could feel the anger boiling within her, her control was barely hanging on as her anger burned through her mind like molten lava. I watched Jacob and Rose back away in opposite directions. "I felt every muscle in Bella's body stiffen and saw her jaw clench down hard. "Edward, I don't want to hurt you, so please let go of me." Bella spoke each word carefully through clenched teeth. I didn't want to release her, but I knew that as a newborn she would be a force of destruction if she lost control. I wondered if I could soothe her until she spoke once more. "Go stand in front of Renesmee." She said, her voice sounded restrained, and so unwillingly I did as she asked me, and moved in front of our child. Jasper followed my lead, and came to stand near Renesmee.

The moment I released her she dropped into a deadly crouch, moving haltingly towards Jacob. "You didn't!" She snarled at him, each word heavy with rage and irritation. Jacob backed up, holding his hands up in surrender as she moved in on him. His thoughts screamed for help.

_Edward….Edward! You know I had no control over it….Tell her…. She looks so angry.. why don't you explain it to her….you understand…._

I didn't move, he had asked me to leave it up to him, and now he was going to have to answer for it. Yes I understood that he hadn't chosen it, but I didn't have to like it one bit, and I definitely did not have to explain it to my very newborn, very angry, very powerful wife. I shook my head in answer to his silent pleadings.

"You know it's not something I can control." He said as he back up to the front door.

"You stupid mutt!" Bella screamed, venom spattering from her mouth with the force of her words. " How dare you? My baby?" Bella continued moving forward with each word that fell heavily from her lips. Jacob backed out through the door, and was now backing down the stairs of the porch. "It wasn't my idea, Bella." He protested

Bella growled at him, and the whole house shook with the power of it. "I've held her all of one time, and already you think you have some moronic, wolfy claim to her? She's mine." Bella rampaged as she followed him step by step. The whole family followed at a distance to watch what would happen.

"I can share." Jacob pleaded as he backed across the lawn. As she moved I ignored Emmett talking to Rose about some sort of bet. I was too busy watching my wife in the role of destructive goddess, and the sight was very arousing.

"How dare you imprint on my baby. Have you lost your mind?" She screamed, her voice rising now as her anger seemed to level off. "It was involuntary!" Jacob insisted as he backed away from her wrath. Suddenly Seth and Leah emerged from the woods, one on either side of Jacob. Leah snapped at Bella, and Bella snarled at her in response. "Bella, would you try to listen for just a second? Please?" He begged her. Bella stopped moving for a moment. "Why should I listen?" I heard her hiss at him.

Jacob's thoughts were racing, but suddenly he recalled something she had told him once. "Because you're the one who told me this. Do you remember? You said we belonged in each other's lives, right? That we were family. You said that was how you and I were supposed to be. So…now here we are. It's what you wanted." He blurted out

Bella continued to glare at him. She seemed to be mulling over his words, and Jacob's thoughts cheered at his success in halting her, but just as quickly his thoughts fell as she spoke up. "Bella's shoulders heaved as she spoke, "You think you'll be part of my family as my son-in-law?" She screeched. Emmet started to laugh and I heard Esme talk quietly in my ear. "Stop her, Edward. She'll be unhappy if she hurts him." she said. But I didn't move. He deserved whatever she gave him, and as Renesmee's mother, she deserved to give it to him. I was just going to enjoy the show.

"No!" Jacob tried to explain to Bella. "How can you even look at it that way? She's just a baby, for crying out loud!" Jacob argued, trying to make her understand. "That's my point!" Bella yelled back at him. "You know I don't think of her that way! Do you think Edward would have let me live this long if I did? All I want is for her to be safe and happy—is that so bad? So different from what you want?" Now Jacob was shouting back at her, and I had to keep myself from going out there to pin him down for her.

Bella growled at him, a deep feral sound from within her chest. I couldn't help but admire her power, for even now she hadn't actually laid a hand on him. "Amazing, isn't she" I murmured to myself, not caring who might hear. Carlisle was stunned. "she hasn't gone for his throat even once" he responded to my comment. It was true; Bella still was exuding amazing control considering the situation.

"You're going to stay away from her." Bella hissed at Jacob. She was setting him straight. "I can't do that!" Jacob pleaded, and for the first time I felt some sympathy for him as I felt his panic at not being allowed to be near Renesmee. "Try. Starting now." She spat at him.

"It's not possible. Do you remember how much you wanted me around three days ago? How hard was it to be apart from each other? That's gone for you now, isn't it?" He asked her. Pleading with her to understand how he felt. Bella didn't reply, but simply glared at him, taking in his words. Jacob took that as an opportunity to continue. "That was her. From the very beginning. We had to be together, even then." He explained breathlessly. Bella stood still watching him, her eyes slightly less intense as she took in his words. I had to admit that even if he was a mutt, he was brave to have faced her- I wasn't sure if I would have been able to, but then, I didn't have an important part of my life depending on the outcome of this argument.

"Run away while you still can." Bella said through clenched teeth. "C'mon, Bells! Nessie likes me, too" He chided her.

"Uh, oh…"Jasper said softly, "Now he's done it."

Bella's shoulders had stopped moving altogether. "What…… did you call her?" Jacob sensed the immediate change in her body language and he stepped back once more trying to increase the distance between her. "Well, the name you came up with is kind of a mouthful and—" Jacob started to say, but Bella cut him off. "You nicknamed my daughter after the Loch Ness Monster?" She screamed and suddenly she lunged for him.

Bella moved so quickly that we barely had time to get out of the house before she reached Jacob. I didn't plan on stopping her though, just keeping her from hurting him too badly, I didn't want her to kill him after all….did I?" I shook my head and kept running as she grabbed hold of Jacob and slammed him into the nearest tree, pinning him there. Bella released him and drew herself up to launch herself at him again, and narrowly missed him as he rolled off to the side with a groan. Her eyes were blazing, and she looked like a wrathful goddess ready to punish those who disobeyed her.

Bella landed on the tree as she missed Jacob, and sprang off its trunk in a graceful flip, landing just across from him. "I'll fix you, you mongrel…."She hissed launching herself at him once more. The speed with which she launched herself was incredible, but she was moving too fast to stop herself fully when Seth stepped in front of Jacob to protect him. The sickening crack that resounded from his form as he collapsed to the ground snapped her out of her rage with a startled, "Oh!"

Bella had run to his side, ignoring Jacob who lay panting on the ground, he was not injured, only stunned. Bella had swept up Seth's still form and raced with him back to the house uttering apologies the whole way to his immobile form. I caught up with her as she carried him into the house. "What have I done?" She cried, "What on earth have I done?"

**Please message me if you are unable to review, or if you have any comments, suggestions, or questions. Once again I will say please check out HeartOfDarkess's story, it is amazing!**


	36. Chapter 38

**A/N**

**Well everyone, sadly this is it. The end of a journey…a long journey. I had never written anything like this…with adult content. So I hope I did right by Twilight. I am still so shocked at the amount of response this story has gotten out there. It has reached hospitals, and homes, workplaces and far away countries. I have made friends through it, some of which I expect will be long lasting friendships. I have to admit that I am sad, and yet happy. I am working on a few new stories for you, including Our Saving Grace, the story of Edward's mother. And an amazing collaboration with HeartOfDarkess, an amazing fellow writer.**

**I have to send out a special thank you to CullenFest. This chapter is dedicated to her, and as she might say, this chapter is lemon meringue pie with a topping of fresh lemon zest.**

**I hope you all enjoy it.**

Final Chapter

Bella had been beside herself at what she had done to Seth when she had attacked Jacob, but I could not help laughing at the situation. She had set out to give him a lashing, the kind I had always dreamed about, but had never been able to do for fear of hurting her by doing so. I had apologized to Seth as well, though Bella didn't seem to realize what I was apologizing for.

Every time she tried to apologize to him, Seth brushed it off with a smile. I could not stop smiling, as I recalled the look on Jacobs face as Bella had launched herself at him. He hadn't even phased to try and protect himself, it had been priceless.

Carlisle was bandaging Seth into a brace to be sure that his collarbone and shoulder healed properly. Thankfully it seemed as though it wouldn't take too long due to his wolfish healing abilities. Seth winced in pain as Carlisle adjusted his brace, and Bella apologized once more." Sorry, sorry." She murmured softly, her voice heavy with regret.

"Don't freak, Bella," Seth responded, patting her knee in a brotherly fashion. I rubbed her arms to sooth away her despondent emotions while wishing that I could have been the one to attack Jacob, I would have heard Seth's intentions and been able to avoid him, giving Jacob exactly what he deserved. But unlike my sweet Bella, I had no plausible excuse for attacking him, and so I refrained. "I'll be back to normal in half an hour." Seth reminded her, though the fact didn't seem to ease he guilt any."Anyone would have done the same, what with Jake and Ness—"He started to say, than changed his mind as his thoughts recalled what had caused her to attack Jacob in the first place. "I mean, at least you didn't bite me or anything. That would've sucked." He stated thinking about how much worse things could have been.

Bella dropped her head into her hands, her shoulders shaking with grief at what she could have done to the young man beside her."I'm a bad person." She moaned, her voice thick with tears that would not come. Her words were like daggers to my consciousness. I could have prevented this, her intense sadness, and I didn't, purely for my own pleasure. I was crueler than I had realized. "Of course you aren't. I should have-." I started to explain why she was not to blame, but Bella cut off my words before I could finish. "Stop that." She sighed, her annoyance written over her beautiful face.

Seth's thoughts were worried about Bella, and the kind youth he was, he sought to change the subject. "Lucky thing Ness—Renesmee's not venomous," Seth said with humor, "Cause she bites Jake all the time. " Bella's hands fell away in surprise at Seth's words. "She does?" She asked looking intently at Seth. "Sure. Whenever he and Rose don't get dinner in her mouth fast enough. Rose thinks it's pretty hilarious." Seth informed her. His thoughts had flashed to a recent memory of just such an incident where Renesmee had drawn blood from Jacob's hand to show him her impatience at having to wait for her dinner, then she had made an odd face at the taste of his blood. Seth had been worried about how Renesmee would react to Jacob's fresh blood, but it didn't seem to appeal to her as food, which made eased Seth's mind regarding the matter.

Rose's thoughts reached me at the same time, she was happily recalling the pained look on Jacob's face, purposely taking her time while preparing the bottle, wondering if her niece would bite him again.

"Well Seth," Carlisle said, straightening up as he finished binding up his injuries." I think that is as much as I can do. Try not to move for, oh, a few more hours, I guess." He finished as his thoughts tried to calculate how long it would take for the miraculous healing powers of the young wolf to knit his broken bones. He chuckled as he moved away from the couch. "I wish treating humans were this instantaneously gratifying." He said as he rested his hand momentarily on Seth head as a father might when speaking to his child. "Stay still" He ordered gently, wanting the young wolf to know he meant business, then he headed upstairs to write down some updated information about my daughter.

"I can probably manage sitting still for a while," Seth said with a grin. He leaned his head back against the soft back of the couch and fell asleep in moments, starting to snore after just a short time. Bella frowned at him for a moment, probably feeling regret for having caused his injuries, but I knew he was not upset with her. She rose from the couch and made her way over to the large window that made up the back wall. I followed her over, taking her hand in mine, relishing the feel of her silky skin against my palm.

She was just so beautiful I thought as I watched her look out on the darkening evening sky. I watched her as she looked out studying things, wondering once more where her thoughts had taken her. I was so engrossed in her beauty, that I ignored what everyone else was doing, nothing mattered but her. She stood motionless, staring out the window. The glass tried to reflect her beauty back at her, but failed miserably. Nothing could ever portray the beauty that was Bella, not even her reflection, for her beauty would render anything less than the real thing to be nothing but a poor replica.

I watched her, taking in her flowing tresses, the soft curve of her jaw line, the creamy white skin that was covered by the remains of the ice blue silk of her dress. I wanted to let my hands explore her body, to remove each and every scrap of fabric that hid her from my eyes. I desired nothing more than to remove everything between us, and to claim her once again as my wife. My body ached with need and desire for her, it had been far too long since I had known her as a husband should. I knew that now things would be different for us, and that this would be like the first time all over again, but none of that mattered. She was mine, and I was hers, and I wanted to give myself to her, taking everything she offered me in return. I would have stayed there studying her, fantasizing about her, had Jasper not spoken up, alerting me to the fact that he was still in the room with us.

Jasper had sensed that Bella was worried and he came forward to speak to her about her fears. Bella and he talked about her father and her mother, and how she felt about leaving them. I listened to the conversation silently, feeling her emotions through Jasper as she thought about leaving her family behind. Jasper explained to her the reason it was best for us to move on, she was sad, but she understood. Bella fell silent once more, and I felt her emotions through Jasper sensing sadness, wistfulness, and other emotions as they flowed through her body.

Suddenly she snorted, causing me to lose focus. What had caused that reaction from her? Even reading her though Jasper's ability did not allow me the insight that I wished to have. I was sure that if I could read her thoughts that I would be overwhelmed by them, she always surprised me so, that I felt her thoughts would surely ensnare me for hours. I raised an eyebrow in question, but she shook her head at me, dismissing my inquiry.

Suddenly a number of things happened at once. Carlisle came back downstairs, Jasper moved towards Bella, and the wolf form of Leah, that was pacing outside, stopped in front of the window gazing inside through the glass. "Must be six." I said to Bella's questioning glance.

Bella still seemed confused. "So?" She asked, pressing for more details. As Rosalie, Jacob and Renesmee came through the doorway. "Time to measure Ness-er, Renesmee," Carlisle explained as he drew out a measuring tape. "Oh. You do this every day?" Bella asked curiously. "Four times a day." Carlisle said in correction. Bella nodded her head slightly but watched entranced as Carlisle motioned Rose to bring Renesmee over to the couch. My daughter's thoughts were impatient and annoyed, though she remained still, sighing her irritation instead.

"Four times? Every day? Why?" Bella asked, her voice wavering with worry. "She's still growing quickly." I explained as I wrapped my arm around her waist, holding her close to my body. Feeling her concern for our daughter, that echoed my own.

Everyone in the room watched silently as Carlisle measured her torso, her arms, legs, and the circumference of her head. The changes in her appearance were gradual, yet obvious to any of us. I looked over our child as Bella did the same, both of us noting the differences in her appearance. "What do we do?" Bella whispered fearfully. I tightened my grip around her, no longer having to worry about how tightly I held her. Realizing that we both were worried about the same thing. "I don't know." Was the only answer I had, for indeed I had no idea what would happen.

"It's slowing." Jacob muttered. His thought concerned, but tinted with a bit of relief at the fact that Renesmee's growth had slowed down a bit in the last twenty-four hours. "We'll need several more days of measurements to track the trend, Jacob. I can't make any promises." Carlisle responded, though his thoughts also held a glimmer of happiness at the decreased growth of his grandchild. Jacob refused to let Carlisle words dim his happiness. "Yesterday she grew two inches. Today it's less." He said with a small smile.

Carlisle was trying to remain professional and doctor like in his demeanor. "By a thirty-second of an inch, if my measurements are perfect." He told Jacob slowly. "Be perfect, Doc." Jacob said in a menacing tone, though his thoughts were more concerned than anything. Carlisle ignored his tone. "You know I'll do my best," he assured Jacob. "Guess that's all I can ask." Jacob replied with a sigh. Renesmee started to squirm and reached for Rosalie, who moved to give her niece whatever she desired.

Renesmee touched Rosalie's cheek and Rose sighed. "What does she want?" Jacob asked quickly causing Bella to stiffen in my arms. "Bella, of course." Rose told him. Instantly Bella relaxed against me. I realized that she must be feeling anxious to be with our daughter. Rosalie looked at Bella. "How are you?" She asked her cautiously.

Bella responded instantly. "Worried." She said. I squeezed her in support. "We all are, but that is not what I meant." Rosalie retorted with a wry smile. The meaning of her question hit Bella, and I felt the excitement take hold of her body as she realized why Rose was asking her. "I'm in control." Bella said quickly.

Rosalie stepped forward holding Renesmee out to her mother, and Bella reached for her as our daughter did the same. Both of their faces lighting up at the same time. I heard Renesmee's pleasure at being in Bella's arms through her thoughts. The moment she was in Bella's embrace she touched her cheek.

I chuckled as I watched Renesmee show Bella what she has seen her do to Jacob. Renesmee's thoughts showed Bella how she felt for Jacob, and how happy she was that Seth had protected her Jacob. Her thoughts showed Bella how possessive she felt for Jacob, and Bella groaned at the revelation. "Oh, wonderful, perfect." Bella muttered as she realized that our child felt the strong bond that she and Jacob had.

I hadn't realized that Renesmee felt such ownership over Jacob, and I found myself as annoyed as Bella at the idea. "It's just because he tastes better than the rest of us." I said partly to reassure her as well as myself. "I told you she likes me, too." Jacob teased from across the room, though his eyes never left our small daughter as she sat in her mother's embrace.

Renesmee patted Bella's face with impatience, wanting Bella's undivided attention, which Bella immediately gave her. I watched as our daughter showed her mother a series of memories. I smiled as I realized that she was filling Bella in on things she hadn't been a part of while she was suffering through her change. I whispered in Bella's ear as she watched the display of visions from our child. "It looks like she's going to give you a rundown of everything you missed." I said as I nuzzled her neck.

The next vision that Renesmee showed Bella caused her to wrinkle her nose. She showed herself being fed, and the alluring smell from her cup, and suddenly I sensed a shift in Bella's demeanor. I spun and removed Renesmee from Bella's arms as I feared the memory of the smell of human blood from Renesmee's vision would set Bella off. Jasper reacted, seizing Bella's arms in a vice like grip behind her back.

Bella didn't move, though, instead she looked me in the face, seeing the concern there. "What did I do?" She asked hesitantly. I glanced at Jasper, reading her through him, searching for the control that she was surely struggling to hold on to as such an intense memory. I was confused. "But she was remembering being thirsty. She was remembering the taste of human blood." I said to Bella, unsure of what I was doing. My brow wrinkled in worry, what was going on, she must have felt desire to feed from Renesmee's memory.

"Yes," Bella agreed to what she had seen, "And?" I frowned realizing that I had assumed how she would react, but I had been mistaken. Once more Bella was showing how un-typical she was. "And nothing at all, it seems." I said lamely, smiling at her as a laugh broke through my worried expression. "The over reaction is mine this time. Jazz, let her go."

Jasper did as I asked, and Bella reached for Renesmee once more, I handed her over swiftly. "I glanced at Jasper, he had felt her discomfort at the memory, which was why I had worried, but now he too was confused. "I can't understand," Jasper moaned. "I can't bear this." Jasper's thoughts were filled with confusion, worry and concern. He had no idea how Bella was able to control herself so, and he was driving himself crazy waiting for her to snap.

He turned suddenly and walked out of the back door, many of us watching him in surprise as he did so, then in silence as he continued walking at a quick pace before launching himself over the river when he reached it. Renesmee reached for Bella, playing over Jasper's departure to her mother, her thoughts inquisitive as to what had happened.

"He'll be back. I told Renesmee softly. "He just needs a moment to readjust his perspective on life." I told her grinning as I heard Jasper arguing with himself in his head about how un-typical Bella was from any of his newborn experiences. "Is he mad at me?" Bella asked quietly. My eyes widened in surprise at her question. "No, why would he be?" She didn't answer, instead choosing to ask another question. "What's the matter with him, then?" Bella asked with concern coloring her tone.

"He's upset with himself, not you, Bella." I explained to her. "He's worrying about…self-fulfilling prophecy, I suppose you could say." I said trying to explain as best I could. But it was not Bella who responded next, it was Carlisle. "How so?" He questioned me. I answered quickly, not wanting to cause Carlisle undue concern. "He is wondering if the newborn madness is really as difficult as we've always thought, or if, with the right focus and attitude, anyone could do as well as Bella. Even now-perhaps he only has such difficulty because he believes it's natural and unavoidable. Maybe if he expected more of himself, he would rise to those expectations, you're making him question a lot of deep-rooted assumptions, Bella." I said trying to explain what Jasper had been feeling as he had left the house.

"But, that's unfair." Carlisle said. "Everyone is different; everyone has their own challenges. Perhaps what Bella is doing goes beyond the natural. Maybe this is her gift, so to speak." Carlisle said with compassion for his suffering son. Bella froze at his words, and Renesmee questioned her with her gift. "That's an interesting theory, and quite plausible." I responded, it was definitely out of the ordinary. Could that be what Bella brought forward, her ability to care about others, regardless to her own safety? Or was it simply her ability to confuse everyone by behaving in a way that was contradictory to what most others would do in her place. Perhaps the ability of self-control?

Bella was silent for a few moments, and then she suddenly smiled. I turned from studying her face to looking at Carlisle for a moment. "Have you ever seen an equivalent to self-control as a talent? I asked him. "Do you really think that's a gift, or just a product of all her preparation?" I wondered. Carlisle shrugged, and his thoughts showed that he spoke what he felt. "It's slightly similar to what Siobhan has always been able to do, though she wouldn't call it a gift." He answered.

"Siobhan, your friend in that Irish coven?" Rosalie asked curiously. "I wasn't aware that she did anything special. I thought it was Maggie who was talented in that bunch." Rosalie asked as her thoughts tried to recall what she knew about the coven from across the ocean. Carlisle responded to her question, "Yes, Siobhan thinks the same. But she has this way of deciding her goals and then almost…willing them into reality. She considers it good planning, but I've always wondered if it was something more. When she included Maggie, for instance. Liam was very territorial, but Siobhan wanted it to work out, and so it did." He finished.

As the tone of the room eased many of us settled down on chairs. Jacob sleepily drifting by Seth, as Bella stood, enraptured beside me with Renesmee. Carlisle, Rosalie and I sat discussing the idea of latent powers, versus, aggressive, more conspicuous powers. As we talked I watched Renesmee fill her mother in on everything she has missed, sometimes showing her the same thing twice because she enjoyed it so. I smiled as she showed Bella, me singing her a song that I had composed for her. She replayed this memory numerous times for her mother, who smiled at her in adoration. Renesmee showed Bella many memories, and Bella stood entranced by each and every moment.

But soon Renesmee's thoughts became hazy, and Bella looked over at me in alarm. Her mouth opened with worry, and unspoken alarm that smoothed instantly away as Renesmee yawned, her eyelids drifting shut, and her hand falling away from Bella cheek as she was overcome by sleep. Bella understood immediately that our daughter was not in danger, merely tired, and I smiled as I watched her do the same thing I had done at an earlier time, taking our child's tiny hand and placing it against her own cheek as our child slept. I watched Bella's face as she viewed our child's dreams, and smiled as I watched the two of them wrapped up together in an embrace of love.

I moved over to her side, my conversation with Carlisle forgotten as I watched the two most important people in my life.

I heard the thoughts of my absent family members as they approached the house, their minds shouted their excitement at the surprise they had for Bella and I, well mainly for Bella. And I realized that I would soon have some alone time with my glorious wife. "Finally," I said breathily behind her, watching as they came closer to the house.

As everyone came into view, I noted Bella's expression, it ranged from joy as she watched Alice swing gracefully into the yard, to relief as she saw Jasper was returning with them. As they approached their wide grins seemed to catch Bella's ever astute attention. I could not help smiling myself at her questioning glances.

Alice skipped into the room, and didn't stop until she stood in front of Bella, She held her hand out to my wife, holding a large brass key, wrapped in a pink satin bow. Bella shifted Renesmee to one side so she could hold out her left hand for what Alice held out to her. "Happy Birthday!" Alice squealed with glee. Bella rolled her eyes at Alice's words. "No one starts counting on the actual day of birth." Bella admonished Alice lightly. "Your first birthday is at the year mark, Alice."

Alice's grin widened as she responded. "We're not celebrating your vampire birthday. Yet. It's September thirteenth, Bella. Happy nineteenth Birthday!" Alice trilled with laughter. Bella's mouth fell open in shock. "NO. NO Way!" She said shaking her head rapidly from side to side. She shot me a quick smile before she replied. "No, this doesn't count. I stopped aging three days ago. I am eighteen forever." Bella's smile was smug as she corrected Alice's error.

"Whatever." Alice shrugged dismissing Bella's words quickly. "We're celebrating anyway, so suck it up." She responded. I watched Bella, wondering if she would bother to argue the point, but she knew better than to argue with Alice, instead she sighed in defeat. Alice's grin widened to until it was akin to the smile of the Cheshire cat, she knew she had won.

"Are you ready to open your present?" Alice sang. "Presents ." I corrected as I pulled out another key, this one with a blue bow, out of my pocket. Bella looked at my key, and straightened her shoulder's, as if to ready herself for an unpleasant experience. "Mine first," Alice chimed as she stuck out her tongue at me. "Mine is closer." I challenged just to annoy her.

_Edward don't you dare! _ Alice's thoughts screamed at me. _Have you seen what she did to that dress! It was an original……. Besides, you'll thank me for it later._

"But look how she's dressed." Alice pleaded. "It's been killing me all day. That is clearly the priority." Alice practically moaned. Bella's eyebrows pulled together as she watched us curiously. "I know-I'll play you for it, "Alice suggested. "Rock, paper, scissors." Jasper laughed, and I sighed in feigned annoyance with her. "Why don't you just tell me who wins?" I said.

Alice beamed at me, "I do. Excellent."

_Thank you Edward, she is just going to love it! She is going to…._

Suddenly Alice's thoughts broke off and she started reciting the latest trends of our stocks, blocking her thoughts from me. Though I could feel her annoyance about something. I turned my focus back to Bella, realizing that she might appreciate Alice's gift more than mine anyhow, if her response to the before car was anything to go by. "It's probably better that I wait until morning , anyways." I said with a smile." I think it might be more fun if Jacob was awake for the big reveal, don't you agree? So that someone there is able to express the right level of enthusiasm." Bella grinned back at my words.

"Yay," Alice sang, still blocking out her thoughts. "Bella, give Ness-Renesmee to Rosalie."

She prompted Bella quickly. "Where does she usually sleep?" Bella inquired of Alice. "In Rose's arms. Or Jacob's. Or Esme's. you get the picture. She has never been set down in her entire life. She is going to be the most spoiled half-vampire in existence." Alice tittered causing me to erupt in laughter. Rosalie took Renensmee carefully snuggling her into her arms. "She is also the most unspoiled half-vampire in existence." Roses said softly. "The beauty of being one of a kind." She added wistfully. Bella smiled at Rose, who grinned back at her. I knew that the bond they had formed during Bella's pregnancy was a force to be reckoned with a, and that it would hold true now as well.

Alice pushed her key into Bella's hand once more, than grasped her elbow firmly, propelling her towards the back door. "Let's go, Let's go," She chirped at us both. Bella stopped for a moment, "Is it outside?" She questioned, moving forward once more under Alice's steady prompting. "Sort of" Alice responded as she moved forward, nudging Bella to do the same.

"Enjoy your gift."Rosalie exclaimed."It's from all of us. Esme especially." Bella glanced at her, than back at everyone else in the room. Aren't you coming?"She asked as she looked back over her shoulder. "We'll give you a chance to appreciate it alone," Rosalie responded with a smile." You can tell us about it…later." Rose added in thoughts_, I hope she doesn't tell me too much. Have fun Edward!_

Emmett laughed as we departed the house, his thoughts bordering on lewd and inappropriate, but they caused me to shiver with hope. Bella's face had an odd expression that quickly disappeared as we moved away from the house, giving way to a smile. "There's the enthusiasm I'm looking for. Alice murmured happily approving of Bella's new mood. Alice released Bella's arm as we neared the river, and I noticed Bella's eyes gleam as she watched Alice leap deftly over the rushing water. I could sense Bella's excitement at being able to jump the water again.

"C'mon , Bella." Alice taunted from the other side. I saw Bella move, and moved in time with her, not wanting to be apart for even the smallest moment. The longer I was near her, the more her intoxicating aroma clouded out anything but her. Bella seemed to enjoy taking in the now darkened surroundings, and I knew she must be seeing things anew once more, as her eyes danced, taking in everything around us.

Alice ran ahead with us on her heels, headed in a northerly direction. After a short sprint she suddenly stopped then doubled back, stopping at Bella's side. Bella paused at Alice's approach. "Don't attack me." Alice warned her, than she jumped on her. "What are you doing?" Bella demanded as Alice perched on her back with her small hands clasped tightly over Bella's eyes. "Making sure you can't see." Alice explained as if it should be obvious.

Bella seemed uncertain, and uncomfortable with Alice's approach. "I could take care of that without the theatrics." I told them both, hoping to make Bella more at ease. Alice looked at me for a moment debating the idea. "You might let her cheat. Take her hand and led her forward. Alice commanded imperiously. "Alice, I…" Bella started, but Alice refused to let her continue. "Don't bother, Bella. "We're doing this my way." Alice's tone cut off any thought of arguing.

I slipped my fingers through Bella's soft sculpted ones, and softly said. "Just a few seconds more, Bella. Then she'll go annoy someone else." I whispered as I eased her forward, knowing that even without her vision she would be able to move fairly well by using her other senses. I could hear Alice running over the periodic table of elements in her head. "You might be a little more appreciative. This is as much for you as it is for her." Alice stated harshly, glaring at me in annoyance.

"True. Thank you again, Alice." I said appeasing her. "Yeah, yeah. Okay." I heard Alice's voice as it gained in pitch and volume from excitement, we were almost there, and she could not wait to see Bella's reaction to the gift the family had been working on. "Stop there. Turn her a little to the right. Yes, like that. Okay. Are you ready?" Alice squeaked in excitement, almost jumping on Bella in her excitement.

I watched Bella. Her nostrils wide as she smelled her surroundings, taking in the many new rich scents, that hung heavily on the night air. Alice hopped off her back, finally releasing her hold on Bella's eyes. Then I watched as Bella took in the amazing sight before her, the beautiful cottage that my family had built for us nestled into the forest. Bella's eyes wondered over the flowers that crept along the wooden trellises, climbing over the stones of the cottage. Her mouth fell open in wonder at the sight.

I couldn't hold back the smile that took over my face, at the expression that stole over her features. Her eyes seemed to take in everything piece by piece. The stone pathway, the roses in the small garden, the arched wooden doorway, the soft light that illuminated the windows from within. Bella remained speechless, her fingers curling around the key that she still held in her hand.

"Esme thought we might like a place of our own for a while, but she didn't want us too far away." I murmured softly in her ear recalling what Esme had told me. "And she loves any excuse to renovate. This little place has been crumbling away out here for at least a hundred years." I finished, But Bella still remained unmoving, speechless.

"Don't you like it? Alice said, her face falling in disappointment. "I mean, I'm sure we could fix it up differently, if you want. Emmett was all for adding a few thousand square feet, a second story, columns and a tower, but Esme thought you would like it best the way it was meant to look." I could hear the sadness in Alice's voice, as she thought Bella didn't like the cottage, and she started to ramble in her discomfort. "If she was wrong, we can get back to work. It won't take long to_"

"Shhh." Bella blurted out suddenly. Alice pressed her lips together tightly, forcing herself to quiet down as she waited for Bella to say something more. "You're giving me a house for my birthday?" Bella said, her voice barely a whisper. "Us."I corrected her," And it's no more than a cottage. I think the word house implies more leg room." I said laughing at her expression. "No knocking my house." Bella whispered fiercely at me. Alice's expression changed instantly as she heard Bella's defensive words.

"You like it?" She questioned Bella. But Bella shook her head. "Love it? "Alice asked next and Bella nodded emphatically in response. "I can't wait to tell Esme." Alice squealed. "Why didn't she come?" Bella asked Alice softly. I had to smile at that question, as I knew there were a few answers. Esme didn't want Bella to be overwhelmed with attention, and she wanted us to have time alone to explore that house. But Alice chose another explanation. "Oh, you know….they all remember how you are about presents. They didn't want to put you under too much pressure to like it." Alice said, voicing a third reason.

"But of course I love it. How could I not?" Bella questioned in surprised. "They'll like that." Alice said patting Bella's arm soothingly, making me want to do the same. Suddenly Alice glanced between us and said, "Anyhoo. Your closet is stocked. Use it wisely. And… I guess that's everything." Her thoughts were now shouting the national anthems of every country that she had ever visited, in their native tongue and I was curious as to what she has seen that she wasn't willing to share with me. "Aren't you coming in?" Bella asked in her sing song voice, pulling me away from trying to pry into Alice's mind any further.

Alice backed away a few feet before answering. "Edward knows his way around. I'll stop by ……later. Call me if you can't match your clothes right." She said turning and giving Bella a hesitant glance. Then she smiled. "Jazz wants to hunt. See you." She said racing away into the night.

"That was weird." Bella said turning to me. "Am I really that bad?" They didn't have to stay away. Now I feel guilty. I didn't even thank her right. We should go back, tell Esme—" She rambled. "Bella, don't be silly. No one thinks you're that unreasonable." I told her with a knowing smile. "

"Then what—" she started confused. "Alone time is their other gift. Alice was trying to be subtle about it." I said leaning forward to kiss her on the temple."Oh!" Bella said,, embarrassed as she realized what the family had been doing. I was sure that if she had still been able to blush she would have.

I tried to soothe over her embarrassment as I took her hands and led her towards the front door of the cottage. "Let me show you what they've done." I felt an immediate current of electricity shoot down my arm, straight to my groin. She held such power over me. I swallowed fiercely. Bella laughed suddenly as I led her forward. "Do I get to hear the joke?" I asked with a smile, wishing once more to know what she was thinking so she would not edit her thoughts before telling me."It's not a very good one." She told me as we approached the door. "I was just thinking –today is the first and last day of forever. It's kind of hard to wrap my head around it. Even with all this extra room for wrapping." She said laughing once more.

I laughed with her over that, even having so much room in our minds, it could still be difficult to understand somethings on occasion. She had done the same to me when I first met her. I held out my arm, gesturing for her to insert the key, and open the door, she did so turning the long brass key until it clicked into place. "Your such a natural at this, Bella. I forgot how very strange this all must be for you. I wish I could hear it." I said honestly. Bella moved to take a step forward, but I blurred, scooping her up in my arms so quickly that it brought a gasp from her luscious lips.

"Hey!" She breathed in a rush. I wasn't about to let her walk through the door of our first home without it being done properly. "Thresholds are part of my job description," I reminded her, vividly recalling what happened in the last house where I had carried her over the threshold. "But I'm curious." I said, trying to let her know that she was to focus of all my attention. "Tell me what you're thinking about right now." I opened the door—watching her face as it swung open with only the smallest protest from the hinges. Then I stepped through the door with her in my arms.

"Everything," she responded, her arms gripping my neck tightly. "All at the same time, you know. Good things and things to worry about and things that are new. How I keep using too many superlatives in my head." She said with a tilt of her face, then she glanced around the cottage, taking in the picturesque rooms for the first time with a look of awe. "Right now, I'm thinking that Esme is an artist. It's so perfect." Bella said her eyes wide, as she took in the furnishings. I turned with her in my arms so she could see everything easily.

I remained silent, simply breathing in her scent since she was so close, tucked up against my chest as she was. I could feel the electricity still humming through me at the knowledge that so little fabric was all that separated me from her glorious form, a form I had yet to see entirely in its new wrappings.

I didn't want to distract Bella with my wants until it was her idea, so I forced myself to say something I felt was relevant to the house. We're lucky Esme thought to add an extra room. No one was planning for Ness-Renesmee." I said lamely, realizing that I had slipped, using the nickname that had become common place while Bella had been unconscious.

Bella frowned at me, "Not you, too." She groused. "Sorry, love. I hear it in their thoughts all the time, you know. It's rubbing off on me." I explained wishing I had kept my mouth shut. Bella sighed, her face taking on a thoughtful look. I tried to change the topic. "I am sure you're dying to see the closet. Or, at least I'll tell Alice that you were, to make her feel good." I said with a grin. Bella had no idea what Alice had managed to fit in to this deceptively small home. "Should I be afraid?" She asked me seriously. "Terrified," I answered truthfully.

I carried her down the hall to let her see the rest of the house pointing out which room was Renesmee's room, and which was ours.

"Esme tried to bring some of her Island back here for us. She guessed we would get attached." I told her, knowing that I for one was very attached to the Island, and I always would be thanks to the amazing woman that I held in my arms. I opened our door and showed her our bedroom. And together we looked at the huge white bed, with its gossamer hangings that drifted down from the canopy like clouds. Every aspect of the room tried to pull in the feel of the beach, from the colors, to the exact replica of the bed we had slept in on our wedding night…Well that Bella had slept in anyhow.

The room even had large glass French doors that opened to a small oasis of our own in the form of a small pond, surrounded with stones and flowers, our own smaller version of the ocean. My family's thoughts had gone into every last detail of this place, and I was almost overwhelmed on how hard they had worked to do this for us.

"Oh." Bella said in a small gasp as she looked over the small private pond. "I know." I whispered in response, sure that she felt as amazed as I for what we had been given. It was beyond words, but no gift could compare to the gift she had given me, she had given me life, love and more all in one irreplaceable package…herself.

I couldn't help the smile that stole across my features as I thought about how blessed I truly was, than my eye landed on the double doors on the other side of the room, and a laugh escaped my lips. "The closet is through those double doors." I said with a grin gesturing to the doors on the opposing side of the room. "I should warn you—it's bigger that this room." I told her as her eyes met mine,

The look in her eyes left me speechless, her eyes were dark with lust, and need, and..above all else, love and desire. My body responded instantly, my groin pulling tightly against the fabric of my pants.

Bella's gaze locked with mine as she spoke, carefully licking her lips as she formed her words slowly. "We're going to tell Alice that I ran right to the clothes," she whispered, slipping her fingers into my hair, pulling her face close to mine letting her breath fan across my face, drowning me in her scent. "We're going to tell her I spent hours in there playing dress up." She went on moving her lips to my ear, where she traced the edge with her moist lips. "We're going to lie." She growled against my neck as she turned in my arms, wrapping her legs around me.

I felt my body react instantly, pulling her close, wrapping my arms around her, one hand fisting in her hair, holding her lips to mine, while the other hand slid down over her rounded buttocks, squeezing it firmly. I ran my tongue across her lips, and she parted them for me, granting me unhindered entry to the warmth of her mouth.

As I slid my tongue across hers, I felt her venom mingle with mine, and I savored the flavor as out tongues battle for dominance in her mouth, she conceded, allowing me to explore the wet warmth of her mouth, caressing her with the tip of my tongue as I withdrew to claim her lips once more.

I moved her over to the bed, pushing her back against the soft white covers as I let my eyes rove over her body. I breathed deeply, smelling her heightened arousal in the air. I moved my hands gently over her face, cupping her chin gently in both hands as I kissed her once again. I then let my hands moved down over her curved neck, tracing the silvery scar there with my finger tips as they traced down to her collarbone. Bella's eyes widened as I stopped at her shoulders.

I let one hand slid along tracing a line down between her breasts, to her navel before sliding it back up once more. I hooked one finger into the fabric of my shirt that still covered her, and I pulled, smiling as the fabric ripped under my hands. I pushed it back, inhaling roughly as I saw her nipples tighten under the ice blue silk of her dress, fabric that hardly covered anything any longer.

Bella breathing was becoming as ragged as mine as she pushed herself up against me, her thighs pulling me tightly against her centre as they tightened around my waist. I could feel the tightness of my erection as it throbbed, demanding to be freed from its constraints. Bella moaned as it pulsed against her, and she gyrated against me making me growl in pleasure.

I moved my hands down over her shoulders, down her sides, gently cupping both breasts as my hands explored her body, her nipples pebbled against my hands drawing a tortured gasp from my wife. I let my hand rove further down her body tracing over her hips, then her rounded thighs until fabric no longer separated my touch from her skin. With no material to dull the sensations between our skin any longer, the electricity that had been tingling between us practically crackled with power.

"Mmmmm, Edwardddd." Bella moaned beneath me as my fingers trailed over her body. I ran my hands back up her thighs, this time beneath the fabric of her dress, moving them lightly over the skin of her stomach. Her moans were like a drug, and my hands convulsed pulling the silken fabric from her skin, not caring if I ripped it.

She lay before me, naked, with the exception of a lacy blue thong covering her very core of desire. "Not fair." She growled at me reaching to relieve me of my own clothing, crumbling my leather belt under her strong fingers, stopping to stroke my hard length through the fabric of my pants. Making me purr with the pleasure of it. "Tease." I murmured leaning in to kiss her as she finished removing the thin fabric of my boxers, that kept me from her.

Now that I was fully naked, both of us curled into one another. Our arms and legs lost in a flurry of caresses and stroking that elicited moans from both her and I. Bella ran her nails up over my back, scraping them down my spine, making my penis throb and tremble with desire for her. I ran kisses down from her neck, over the peaks of her breasts, stopping to pay homage to each beautifully hard nipple as I trailed kisses further over her abdomen, then down to the enticing mound between her legs.

Bella gasped as my mouth trailed kisses along the edge of her lacy undergarment, feeling the silky hair of her wet flower. She was so wet with desire that I could not resist. I inhaled, letting her most precious of aromas flood over my senses. I moved my hand down pulling aside her now damp thong to part her lips, opening her center for me. I trailed one hand toward the very core of Bella's body, letting my finger caress each fold of wet skin, until they gained entrance, slipping inside her. She thrashed against my hand, moaning my name like a prayers

I moved my fingers slowly in and out, feeling the silky texture of her skin, searching for the pleasure points I knew awaited me there. While one had explored her innermost secrets, the other kneaded her breasts, fingering her nipples, squeezing them roughly, realizing that I no longer needed to hold back as I had before only encouraged me to explore further in ways I would never have allowed myself to do previously.

As my hands engaged themselves in their tasks, I smelled Bella's arousal as it intensified. My nose was drawn to the source of the scent. I nuzzled my face into her soft folds, biting through the fabric of her thong as I removed my hands from their ministrations to pull her flower to my mouth. I inhaled her scent, wanting to taste her womanly nectar. I slid my tongue over her, feeling the hard core of nerves between the top of her wet folds. I ran my lips over the hard nub, suckling it, flicking it with my tongue. This resulted in Bella screaming, and fisting her hands into my hair, holding me against her. I felt her quiver under me, her limbs shaking with pleasure.

I slipped my fingers into her once more, as I continued to stimulate the pulsing bundled of nerves that was making her scream out in satisfaction. I pushed my fingers deep, arching them towards the wall of her abdomen, feeling the other nub of pleasure that was hidden from my view. As my tongue stroked Bella's rock hard clit, my fingers prodded the spongy inner core, and her muscles clenched around my fingers "Edward….."Bella whimpered, her back arching up off of the bed as she strived to weld her body to me.

I pumped my finger in her wetness, making sure to keep moving them against her inner coil of pleasure while my tongue traced and teased her clit. I felt her muscles clamp down harder and harder and she moaned and bucked beneath me, suddenly screaming out as bliss over took her body. She writhed against me as the waves of her orgasm flowed over her, pouring the sweetest of honey from her body to my very lips, where I lapped up every last drop. Her orgasm crashed over her again and again, until her voice was the faintest of whimpers.

I licked my lips as I rose over her and she looked at me through heavily lidded eyes. I felt such power at having brought her to such a powerful orgasm with only my hands and mouth. My shaft strained from my arousal, and it throbbed against her. Bella felt my hardness against her, and whispered. "Edward….I need…you….Please."

Her voice held such love, such need, that I moved to fulfill her request, placing myself between her hips, and guiding my throbbing member to her slick entrance. Bella pushed up against me, making her wishes known, and with that silent plea, I thrusted forward, filling her with my length. Bella groaned in pleasure. Her body rising to meet mine.

I pulled back, my shaft sliding along her warm wetness, before pushing in once again. Bella shifted her hips as I entered her. This new angle allowed me to go further, deeper then the last. I growled against her, the animalistic side of me coming out. I pulled her hips up to me as I thrust again, harder than before. Feeling the strength in her skin, as her body moved under me only reminded me not to hold anything back any longer, she was as durable as me now, and she needed me as fully as I needed her. I started to plunge into her, over and over, propelling myself fiercely into her tight heat. Bella started to scream my name over and over, in time with each forceful push into her tightening flesh. I could feel her muscles clamping down on me, trying to pull me deeper, as she moaned, "Oh….my….again…..ooh…..Edward…!" she gasped as the walls of her body coiled around my manhood, and she screamed my name to the heavens once more. The tightness of her, the feeling of her flesh slapping against mine as I entered her, her voice screaming my name in pleasure, it was all too much and my own climax crashed down around me. I filled her with my essence, growling my claim on her to the world. I roared her name as we joined fully, completely becoming one once more.

I collapsed beside her as a feeling unlike any I had ever had before came over me. I wrapped my arms around Bella, pulling her close, murmuring her name over and over, as if it were a prayer. And it was a prayer of sorts, a prayer that had been answered. She was my proof that It was possible for my kind to be good, to have a soul, for I had no doubt that she had one, meaning that I too must have my own. Bella was the proof of all things that could happen, of all of the light and love that was possible in the world. She was everything, and I had been blessed enough for her to be mine, and now she was mine for eternity. My wife, my lover, my hope, my proof that there was goodness and purpose in this world.

I kissed her feverishly as I held her close, promising aloud to her, and silently to myself, that I would never forget just how blessed I was that she had chosen me above all others to share he life. And I vowed to myself that I would do everything in my power to make sure she always knew how blessed she made me feel. This would be the beginning of our forever.

**Well, I hope this ended in a way that made everyone happy. I also hope that everyone will take the time to comment or review, or even send me a message if you like. I love getting messages. I plan to respond to every review to this chapter, so please make them good ones!**

**Jennifer**


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